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<h3 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: left; margin-bottom: 2.40em; margin-top: 2.40em"><span style="font-size: 120%">Chapter VI. The First Interview With Smerdyakov</span></h3>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
This was the third time that Ivan had been to see Smerdyakov
since his return from Moscow. The first time he had seen him
and talked to him was on the first day of his arrival, then he had
visited him once more, a fortnight later. But his visits had ended
with that second one, so that it was now over a month since he had
seen him. And he had scarcely heard anything of him.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Ivan had only returned five days after his father's death, so that
he was not present at the funeral, which took place the day before
he came back. The cause of his delay was that Alyosha, not knowing
his Moscow address, had to apply to Katerina Ivanovna to telegraph
to him, and she, not knowing his address either, telegraphed
to her sister and aunt, reckoning on Ivan's going to see them as soon
as he arrived in Moscow. But he did not go to them till four days
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page682"></span><SPAN name="Pg682" id="Pg682" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
after his arrival. When he got the telegram, he had, of course,
set off post-haste to our town. The first to meet him was Alyosha,
and Ivan was greatly surprised to find that, in opposition to the
general opinion of the town, he refused to entertain a suspicion
against Mitya, and spoke openly of Smerdyakov as the murderer.
Later on, after seeing the police captain and the prosecutor, and
hearing the details of the charge and the arrest, he was still more
surprised at Alyosha, and ascribed his opinion only to his exaggerated
brotherly feeling and sympathy with Mitya, of whom Alyosha,
as Ivan knew, was very fond.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
By the way, let us say a word or two of Ivan's feeling to his
brother Dmitri. He positively disliked him; at most, felt sometimes
a compassion for him, and even that was mixed with great contempt,
almost repugnance. Mitya's whole personality, even his appearance,
was extremely unattractive to him. Ivan looked with
indignation on Katerina Ivanovna's love for his brother. Yet he
went to see Mitya on the first day of his arrival, and that interview,
far from shaking Ivan's belief in his guilt, positively strengthened
it. He found his brother agitated, nervously excited. Mitya
had been talkative, but very absent-minded and incoherent. He
used violent language, accused Smerdyakov, and was fearfully muddled.
He talked principally about the three thousand roubles, which
he said had been <span class="tei tei-q">“stolen”</span> from him by his father.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“The money was mine, it was my money,”</span> Mitya kept repeating.
<span class="tei tei-q">“Even if I had stolen it, I should have had the right.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
He hardly contested the evidence against him, and if he tried to
turn a fact to his advantage, it was in an absurd and incoherent
way. He hardly seemed to wish to defend himself to Ivan or any
one else. Quite the contrary, he was angry and proudly scornful
of the charges against him; he was continually firing up and abusing
every one. He only laughed contemptuously at Grigory's evidence
about the open door, and declared that it was <span class="tei tei-q">“the devil that opened
it.”</span> But he could not bring forward any coherent explanation of
the fact. He even succeeded in insulting Ivan during their first
interview, telling him sharply that it was not for people who declared
that <span class="tei tei-q">“everything was lawful,”</span> to suspect and question him.
Altogether he was anything but friendly with Ivan on that occasion.
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page683"></span><SPAN name="Pg683" id="Pg683" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
Immediately after that interview with Mitya, Ivan went for
the first time to see Smerdyakov.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
In the railway train on his way from Moscow, he kept thinking
of Smerdyakov and of his last conversation with him on the evening
before he went away. Many things seemed to him puzzling
and suspicious. But when he gave his evidence to the investigating
lawyer Ivan said nothing, for the time, of that conversation. He
put that off till he had seen Smerdyakov, who was at that time in
the hospital.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Doctor Herzenstube and Varvinsky, the doctor he met in the
hospital, confidently asserted in reply to Ivan's persistent questions,
that Smerdyakov's epileptic attack was unmistakably genuine, and
were surprised indeed at Ivan asking whether he might not have
been shamming on the day of the catastrophe. They gave him to
understand that the attack was an exceptional one, the fits persisting
and recurring several times, so that the patient's life was positively
in danger, and it was only now, after they had applied remedies,
that they could assert with confidence that the patient would
survive. <span class="tei tei-q">“Though it might well be,”</span> added Doctor Herzenstube,
<span class="tei tei-q">“that his reason would be impaired for a considerable period, if not
permanently.”</span> On Ivan's asking impatiently whether that meant
that he was now mad, they told him that this was not yet the case,
in the full sense of the word, but that certain abnormalities were
perceptible. Ivan decided to find out for himself what those
abnormalities were.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
At the hospital he was at once allowed to see the patient. Smerdyakov
was lying on a truckle-bed in a separate ward. There was
only one other bed in the room, and in it lay a tradesman of the
town, swollen with dropsy, who was obviously almost dying; he
could be no hindrance to their conversation. Smerdyakov grinned
uncertainly on seeing Ivan, and for the first instant seemed nervous.
So at least Ivan fancied. But that was only momentary. For the
rest of the time he was struck, on the contrary, by Smerdyakov's
composure. From the first glance Ivan had no doubt that he was
very ill. He was very weak; he spoke slowly, seeming to move his
tongue with difficulty; he was much thinner and sallower. Throughout
the interview, which lasted twenty minutes, he kept complaining
of headache and of pain in all his limbs. His thin emasculate
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face seemed to have become so tiny; his hair was ruffled, and his
crest of curls in front stood up in a thin tuft. But in the left eye,
which was screwed up and seemed to be insinuating something,
Smerdyakov showed himself unchanged. <span class="tei tei-q">“It's always worth while
speaking to a clever man.”</span> Ivan was reminded of that at once.
He sat down on the stool at his feet. Smerdyakov, with painful
effort, shifted his position in bed, but he was not the first to speak.
He remained dumb, and did not even look much interested.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Can you talk to me?”</span> asked Ivan. <span class="tei tei-q">“I won't tire you much.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Certainly I can,”</span> mumbled Smerdyakov, in a faint voice. <span class="tei tei-q">“Has
your honor been back long?”</span> he added patronizingly, as though
encouraging a nervous visitor.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I only arrived to-day.... To see the mess you are in here.”</span>
Smerdyakov sighed.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Why do you sigh? You knew of it all along,”</span> Ivan blurted out.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Smerdyakov was stolidly silent for a while.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“How could I help knowing? It was clear beforehand. But how
could I tell it would turn out like that?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What would turn out? Don't prevaricate! You've foretold
you'd have a fit; on the way down to the cellar, you know. You
mentioned the very spot.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Have you said so at the examination yet?”</span> Smerdyakov queried
with composure.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Ivan felt suddenly angry.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“No, I haven't yet, but I certainly shall. You must explain a
great deal to me, my man; and let me tell you, I am not going to let
you play with me!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Why should I play with you, when I put my whole trust in you,
as in God Almighty?”</span> said Smerdyakov, with the same composure,
only for a moment closing his eyes.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“In the first place,”</span> began Ivan, <span class="tei tei-q">“I know that epileptic fits can't
be told beforehand. I've inquired; don't try and take me in.
You can't foretell the day and the hour. How was it you told me
the day and the hour beforehand, and about the cellar, too? How
could you tell that you would fall down the cellar stairs in a fit,
if you didn't sham a fit on purpose?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I had to go to the cellar anyway, several times a day, indeed,”</span>
Smerdyakov drawled deliberately. <span class="tei tei-q">“I fell from the garret just in
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page685"></span><SPAN name="Pg685" id="Pg685" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
the same way a year ago. It's quite true you can't tell the day and
hour of a fit beforehand, but you can always have a presentiment
of it.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“But you did foretell the day and the hour!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“In regard to my epilepsy, sir, you had much better inquire of the
doctors here. You can ask them whether it was a real fit or a sham;
it's no use my saying any more about it.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“And the cellar? How could you know beforehand of the
cellar?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You don't seem able to get over that cellar! As I was going
down to the cellar, I was in terrible dread and doubt. What frightened
me most was losing you and being left without defense in all
the world. So I went down into the cellar thinking, <span class="tei tei-q">‘Here, it'll
come on directly, it'll strike me down directly, shall I fall?’</span> And
it was through this fear that I suddenly felt the spasm that always
comes ... and so I went flying. All that and all my previous
conversation with you at the gate the evening before, when I told
you how frightened I was and spoke of the cellar, I told all that
to Doctor Herzenstube and Nikolay Parfenovitch, the investigating
lawyer, and it's all been written down in the protocol. And the
doctor here, Mr. Varvinsky, maintained to all of them that it was
just the thought of it brought it on, the apprehension that I might
fall. It was just then that the fit seized me. And so they've written
it down, that it's just how it must have happened, simply from
my fear.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
As he finished, Smerdyakov drew a deep breath, as though
exhausted.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Then you have said all that in your evidence?”</span> said Ivan, somewhat
taken aback. He had meant to frighten him with the threat
of repeating their conversation, and it appeared that Smerdyakov
had already reported it all himself.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What have I to be afraid of? Let them write down the whole
truth,”</span> Smerdyakov pronounced firmly.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“And have you told them every word of our conversation at the
gate?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“No, not to say every word.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“And did you tell them that you can sham fits, as you boasted
then?”</span></p>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page686"></span><SPAN name="Pg686" id="Pg686" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“No, I didn't tell them that either.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Tell me now, why did you send me then to Tchermashnya?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I was afraid you'd go away to Moscow; Tchermashnya is nearer,
anyway.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You are lying; you suggested my going away yourself; you told
me to get out of the way of trouble.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“That was simply out of affection and my sincere devotion to you,
foreseeing trouble in the house, to spare you. Only I wanted to
spare myself even more. That's why I told you to get out of
harm's way, that you might understand that there would be trouble
in the house, and would remain at home to protect your father.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You might have said it more directly, you blockhead!”</span> Ivan
suddenly fired up.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“How could I have said it more directly then? It was simply my
fear that made me speak, and you might have been angry, too. I
might well have been apprehensive that Dmitri Fyodorovitch would
make a scene and carry away that money, for he considered it as
good as his own; but who could tell that it would end in a murder
like this? I thought that he would only carry off the three thousand
that lay under the master's mattress in the envelope, and you
see, he's murdered him. How could you guess it either, sir?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“But if you say yourself that it couldn't be guessed, how could
I have guessed and stayed at home? You contradict yourself!”</span>
said Ivan, pondering.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You might have guessed from my sending you to Tchermashnya
and not to Moscow.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“How could I guess it from that?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Smerdyakov seemed much exhausted, and again he was silent for
a minute.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You might have guessed from the fact of my asking you not to
go to Moscow, but to Tchermashnya, that I wanted to have you
nearer, for Moscow's a long way off, and Dmitri Fyodorovitch,
knowing you are not far off, would not be so bold. And if anything
had happened, you might have come to protect me, too, for
I warned you of Grigory Vassilyevitch's illness, and that I was
afraid of having a fit. And when I explained those knocks to you,
by means of which one could go in to the deceased, and that Dmitri
Fyodorovitch knew them all through me, I thought that you would
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page687"></span><SPAN name="Pg687" id="Pg687" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
guess yourself that he would be sure to do something, and so
wouldn't go to Tchermashnya even, but would stay.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“He talks very coherently,”</span> thought Ivan, <span class="tei tei-q">“though he does mumble;
what's the derangement of his faculties that Herzenstube
talked of?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You are cunning with me, damn you!”</span> he exclaimed, getting
angry.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“But I thought at the time that you quite guessed,”</span> Smerdyakov
parried with the simplest air.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“If I'd guessed, I should have stayed,”</span> cried Ivan.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Why, I thought that it was because you guessed, that you went
away in such a hurry, only to get out of trouble, only to run away
and save yourself in your fright.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You think that every one is as great a coward as yourself?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Forgive me, I thought you were like me.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Of course, I ought to have guessed,”</span> Ivan said in agitation; <span class="tei tei-q">“and
I did guess there was some mischief brewing on your part ... only
you are lying, you are lying again,”</span> he cried, suddenly recollecting.
<span class="tei tei-q">“Do you remember how you went up to the carriage and said to me,
<span class="tei tei-q">‘It's always worth while speaking to a clever man’</span>? So you were
glad I went away, since you praised me?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Smerdyakov sighed again and again. A trace of color came into
his face.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“If I was pleased,”</span> he articulated rather breathlessly, <span class="tei tei-q">“it was
simply because you agreed not to go to Moscow, but to Tchermashnya.
For it was nearer, anyway. Only when I said these
words to you, it was not by way of praise, but of reproach. You
didn't understand it.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What reproach?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Why, that foreseeing such a calamity you deserted your own
father, and would not protect us, for I might have been taken up
any time for stealing that three thousand.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Damn you!”</span> Ivan swore again. <span class="tei tei-q">“Stay, did you tell the prosecutor
and the investigating lawyer about those knocks?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I told them everything just as it was.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Ivan wondered inwardly again.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“If I thought of anything then,”</span> he began again, <span class="tei tei-q">“it was solely
of some wickedness on your part. Dmitri might kill him, but that
he would steal—I did not believe that then.... But I was prepared
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page688"></span><SPAN name="Pg688" id="Pg688" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
for any wickedness from you. You told me yourself you
could sham a fit. What did you say that for?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“It was just through my simplicity, and I never have shammed a
fit on purpose in my life. And I only said so then to boast to you.
It was just foolishness. I liked you so much then, and was open-hearted
with you.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“My brother directly accuses you of the murder and theft.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What else is left for him to do?”</span> said Smerdyakov, with a bitter
grin. <span class="tei tei-q">“And who will believe him with all the proofs against him?
Grigory Vassilyevitch saw the door open. What can he say after
that? But never mind him! He is trembling to save himself.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
He slowly ceased speaking; then suddenly, as though on reflection,
added:</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“And look here again. He wants to throw it on me and make
out that it is the work of my hands—I've heard that already. But
as to my being clever at shamming a fit: should I have told you beforehand
that I could sham one, if I really had had such a design
against your father? If I had been planning such a murder could
I have been such a fool as to give such evidence against myself
beforehand? And to his son, too! Upon my word! Is that likely?
As if that could be, such a thing has never happened. No one
hears this talk of ours now, except Providence itself, and if you
were to tell of it to the prosecutor and Nikolay Parfenovitch you
might defend me completely by doing so, for who would be likely
to be such a criminal, if he is so open-hearted beforehand? Any
one can see that.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Well,”</span> and Ivan got up to cut short the conversation, struck
by Smerdyakov's last argument. <span class="tei tei-q">“I don't suspect you at all, and I
think it's absurd, indeed, to suspect you. On the contrary, I am
grateful to you for setting my mind at rest. Now I am going, but
I'll come again. Meanwhile, good-by. Get well. Is there anything
you want?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I am very thankful for everything. Marfa Ignatyevna does not
forget me, and provides me anything I want, according to her kindness.
Good people visit me every day.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Good-by. But I shan't say anything of your being able to
sham a fit, and I don't advise you to, either,”</span> something made Ivan
say suddenly.</p>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page689"></span><SPAN name="Pg689" id="Pg689" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I quite understand. And if you don't speak of that, I shall say
nothing of that conversation of ours at the gate.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Then it happened that Ivan went out, and only when he had
gone a dozen steps along the corridor, he suddenly felt that there
was an insulting significance in Smerdyakov's last words. He was
almost on the point of turning back, but it was only a passing
impulse, and muttering, <span class="tei tei-q">“Nonsense!”</span> he went out of the hospital.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
His chief feeling was one of relief at the fact that it was not
Smerdyakov, but Mitya, who had committed the murder, though
he might have been expected to feel the opposite. He did not want
to analyze the reason for this feeling, and even felt a positive repugnance
at prying into his sensations. He felt as though he wanted
to make haste to forget something. In the following days he became
convinced of Mitya's guilt, as he got to know all the weight
of evidence against him. There was evidence of people of no importance,
Fenya and her mother, for instance, but the effect of it
was almost overpowering. As to Perhotin, the people at the tavern,
and at Plotnikov's shop, as well as the witnesses at Mokroe, their
evidence seemed conclusive. It was the details that were so damning.
The secret of the knocks impressed the lawyers almost as
much as Grigory's evidence as to the open door. Grigory's wife,
Marfa, in answer to Ivan's questions, declared that Smerdyakov
had been lying all night the other side of the partition wall. <span class="tei tei-q">“He
was not three paces from our bed,”</span> and that although she was a
sound sleeper she waked several times and heard him moaning, <span class="tei tei-q">“He
was moaning the whole time, moaning continually.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Talking to Herzenstube, and giving it as his opinion that Smerdyakov
was not mad, but only rather weak, Ivan only evoked from
the old man a subtle smile.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Do you know how he spends his time now?”</span> he asked; <span class="tei tei-q">“learning
lists of French words by heart. He has an exercise-book under his
pillow with the French words written out in Russian letters for him
by some one, he he he!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Ivan ended by dismissing all doubts. He could not think of
Dmitri without repulsion. Only one thing was strange, however.
Alyosha persisted that Dmitri was not the murderer, and that <span class="tei tei-q">“in all
probability”</span> Smerdyakov was. Ivan always felt that Alyosha's
opinion meant a great deal to him, and so he was astonished at it
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page690"></span><SPAN name="Pg690" id="Pg690" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
now. Another thing that was strange was that Alyosha did not
make any attempt to talk about Mitya with Ivan, that he never
began on the subject and only answered his questions. This, too,
struck Ivan particularly.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
But he was very much preoccupied at that time with something
quite apart from that. On his return from Moscow, he abandoned
himself hopelessly to his mad and consuming passion for Katerina
Ivanovna. This is not the time to begin to speak of this new passion
of Ivan's, which left its mark on all the rest of his life: this would
furnish the subject for another novel, which I may perhaps never
write. But I cannot omit to mention here that when Ivan, on leaving
Katerina Ivanovna with Alyosha, as I've related already, told
him, <span class="tei tei-q">“I am not keen on her,”</span> it was an absolute lie: he loved her
madly, though at times he hated her so that he might have murdered
her. Many causes helped to bring about this feeling. Shattered
by what had happened with Mitya, she rushed on Ivan's return
to meet him as her one salvation. She was hurt, insulted and humiliated
in her feelings. And here the man had come back to her, who
had loved her so ardently before (oh! she knew that very well),
and whose heart and intellect she considered so superior to her own.
But the sternly virtuous girl did not abandon herself altogether to
the man she loved, in spite of the Karamazov violence of his passions
and the great fascination he had for her. She was continually
tormented at the same time by remorse for having deserted Mitya,
and in moments of discord and violent anger (and they were numerous)
she told Ivan so plainly. This was what he had called to
Alyosha <span class="tei tei-q">“lies upon lies.”</span> There was, of course, much that was false
in it, and that angered Ivan more than anything.... But of all
this later.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
He did, in fact, for a time almost forget Smerdyakov's existence,
and yet, a fortnight after his first visit to him, he began to be
haunted by the same strange thoughts as before. It's enough to say
that he was continually asking himself, why was it that on that
last night in Fyodor Pavlovitch's house he had crept out on to the
stairs like a thief and listened to hear what his father was doing
below? Why had he recalled that afterwards with repulsion? Why
next morning, had he been suddenly so depressed on the journey?
Why, as he reached Moscow, had he said to himself, <span class="tei tei-q">“I am a scoundrel”</span>?
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page691"></span><SPAN name="Pg691" id="Pg691" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
And now he almost fancied that these tormenting thoughts
would make him even forget Katerina Ivanovna, so completely did
they take possession of him again. It was just after fancying this,
that he met Alyosha in the street. He stopped him at once, and put
a question to him:</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Do you remember when Dmitri burst in after dinner and beat
father, and afterwards I told you in the yard that I reserved <span class="tei tei-q">‘the
right to desire’</span>?... Tell me, did you think then that I desired
father's death or not?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I did think so,”</span> answered Alyosha, softly.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“It was so, too; it was not a matter of guessing. But didn't you
fancy then that what I wished was just that <span class="tei tei-q">‘one reptile should
devour another’</span>; that is, just that Dmitri should kill father, and as
soon as possible ... and that I myself was even prepared to help
to bring that about?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Alyosha turned rather pale, and looked silently into his brother's
face.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Speak!”</span> cried Ivan, <span class="tei tei-q">“I want above everything to know what
you thought then. I want the truth, the truth!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
He drew a deep breath, looking angrily at Alyosha before his
answer came.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Forgive me, I did think that, too, at the time,”</span> whispered
Alyosha, and he did not add one softening phrase.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Thanks,”</span> snapped Ivan, and, leaving Alyosha, he went quickly
on his way. From that time Alyosha noticed that Ivan began obviously
to avoid him and seemed even to have taken a dislike to
him, so much so that Alyosha gave up going to see him. Immediately
after that meeting with him, Ivan had not gone home, but
went straight to Smerdyakov again.</p>
</div>
<div class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 3.00em; margin-top: 3.00em">
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