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<h2> Of Revenge </h2>
<p>REVENGE is a kind of wild justice; which the more man's nature runs to,
the more ought law to weed it out. For as for the first wrong, it doth but
offend the law; but the revenge of that wrong, putteth the law out of
office. Certainly, in taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy;
but in passing it over, he is superior; for it is a prince's part to
pardon. And Solomon, I am sure, saith, It is the glory of a man, to pass
by an offence. That which is past is gone, and irrevocable; and wise men
have enough to do, with things present and to come; therefore they do but
trifle with themselves, that labor in past matters. There is no man doth a
wrong, for the wrong's sake; but thereby to purchase himself profit, or
pleasure, or honor, or the like. Therefore why should I be angry with a
man, for loving himself better than me? And if any man should do wrong,
merely out of ill-nature, why, yet it is but like the thorn or briar,
which prick and scratch, because they can do no other. The most tolerable
sort of revenge, is for those wrongs which there is no law to remedy; but
then let a man take heed, the revenge be such as there is no law to
punish; else a man's enemy is still before hand, and it is two for one.
Some, when they take revenge, are desirous, the party should know, whence
it cometh. This is the more generous. For the delight seemeth to be, not
so much in doing the hurt, as in making the party repent. But base and
crafty cowards, are like the arrow that flieth in the dark. Cosmus, duke
of Florence, had a desperate saying against perfidious or neglecting
friends, as if those wrongs were unpardonable; You shall read (saith he)
that we are commanded to forgive our enemies; but you never read, that we
are commanded to forgive our friends. But yet the spirit of Job was in a
better tune: Shall we (saith he) take good at God's hands, and not be
content to take evil also? And so of friends in a proportion. This is
certain, that a man that studieth revenge, keeps his own wounds green,
which otherwise would heal, and do well. Public revenges are for the most
part fortunate; as that for the death of Caesar; for the death of
Pertinax; for the death of Henry the Third of France; and many more. But
in private revenges, it is not so. Nay rather, vindictive persons live the
life of witches; who, as they are mischievous, so end they infortunate.</p>
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<h2> Of Adversity </h2>
<p>IT WAS an high speech of Seneca (after the manner of the Stoics), that the
good things, which belong to prosperity, are to be wished; but the good
things, that belong to adversity, are to be admired. Bona rerum secundarum
optabilia; adversarum mirabilia. Certainly if miracles be the command over
nature, they appear most in adversity. It is yet a higher speech of his,
than the other (much too high for a heathen), It is true greatness, to
have in one the frailty of a man, and the security of a God. Vere magnum
habere fragilitatem hominis, securitatem Dei. This would have done better
in poesy, where transcendences are more allowed. And the poets indeed have
been busy with it; for it is in effect the thing, which figured in that
strange fiction of the ancient poets, which seemeth not to be without
mystery; nay, and to have some approach to the state of a Christian; that
Hercules, when he went to unbind Prometheus (by whom human nature is
represented), sailed the length of the great ocean, in an earthen pot or
pitcher; lively describing Christian resolution, that saileth in the frail
bark of the flesh, through the waves of the world. But to speak in a mean.
The virtue of prosperity, is temperance; the virtue of adversity, is
fortitude; which in morals is the more heroical virtue. Prosperity is the
blessing of the Old Testament; adversity is the blessing of the New; which
carrieth the greater benediction, and the clearer revelation of God's
favor. Yet even in the Old Testament, if you listen to David's harp, you
shall hear as many hearse-like airs as carols; and the pencil of the Holy
Ghost hath labored more in describing the afflictions of Job, than the
felicities of Solomon. Prosperity is not without many fears and distastes;
and adversity is not without comforts and hopes. We see in needle-works
and embroideries, it is more pleasing to have a lively work, upon a sad
and solemn ground, than to have a dark and melancholy work, upon a
lightsome ground: judge therefore of the pleasure of the heart, by the
pleasure of the eye. Certainly virtue is like precious odors, most
fragrant when they are incensed, or crushed: for prosperity doth best
discover vice, but adversity doth best discover virtue.</p>
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<h2> Of Simulation And Dissimulation </h2>
<p>DISSIMULATION is but a faint kind of policy, or wisdom; for it asketh a
strong wit, and a strong heart, to know when to tell truth, and to do it.
Therefore it is the weaker sort of politics, that are the great
dissemblers.</p>
<p>Tacitus saith, Livia sorted well with the arts of her husband, and
dissimulation of her son; attributing arts or policy to Augustus, and
dissimulation to Tiberius. And again, when Mucianus encourageth Vespasian,
to take arms against Vitellius, he saith, We rise not against the piercing
judgment of Augustus, nor the extreme caution or closeness of Tiberius.
These properties, of arts or policy, and dissimulation or closeness, are
indeed habits and faculties several, and to be distinguished. For if a man
have that penetration of judgment, as he can discern what things are to be
laid open, and what to be secreted, and what to be showed at half lights,
and to whom and when (which indeed are arts of state, and arts of life, as
Tacitus well calleth them), to him, a habit of dissimulation is a
hinderance and a poorness. But if a man cannot obtain to that judgment,
then it is left to him generally, to be close, and a dissembler. For where
a man cannot choose, or vary in particulars, there it is good to take the
safest, and wariest way, in general; like the going softly, by one that
cannot well see. Certainly the ablest men that ever were, have had all an
openness, and frankness, of dealing; and a name of certainty and veracity;
but then they were like horses well managed; for they could tell passing
well, when to stop or turn; and at such times, when they thought the case
indeed required dissimulation, if then they used it, it came to pass that
the former opinion, spread abroad, of their good faith and clearness of
dealing, made them almost invisible.</p>
<p>There be three degrees of this hiding and veiling of a man's self. The
first, closeness, reservation, and secrecy; when a man leaveth himself
without observation, or without hold to be taken, what he is. The second,
dissimulation, in the negative; when a man lets fall signs and arguments,
that he is not, that he is. And the third, simulation, in the affirmative;
when a man industriously and expressly feigns and pretends to be, that he
is not.</p>
<p>For the first of these, secrecy; it is indeed the virtue of a confessor.
And assuredly, the secret man heareth many confessions. For who will open
himself, to a blab or a babbler? But if a man be thought secret, it
inviteth discovery; as the more close air sucketh in the more open; and as
in confession, the revealing is not for worldly use, but for the ease of a
man's heart, so secret men come to the knowledge of many things in that
kind; while men rather discharge their minds, than impart their minds. In
few words, mysteries are due to secrecy. Besides (to say truth) nakedness
is uncomely, as well in mind as body; and it addeth no small reverence, to
men's manners and actions, if they be not altogether open. As for talkers
and futile persons, they are commonly vain and credulous withal. For he
that talketh what he knoweth, will also talk what he knoweth not.
Therefore set it down, that an habit of secrecy, is both politic and
moral. And in this part, it is good that a man's face give his tongue
leave to speak. For the discovery of a man' s self, by the tracts of his
countenance, is a great weakness and betraying; by how much it is many
times more marked, and believed, than a man's words.</p>
<p>For the second, which is dissimulation; it followeth many times upon
secrecy, by a necessity; so that he that will be secret, must be a
dissembler in some degree. For men are too cunning, to suffer a man to
keep an indifferent carriage between both, and to be secret, without
swaying the balance on either side. They will so beset a man with
questions, and draw him on, and pick it out of him, that, without an
absurd silence, he must show an inclination one way; or if he do not, they
will gather as much by his silence, as by his speech. As for
equivocations, or oraculous speeches, they cannot hold out long. So that
no man can be secret, except he give himself a little scope of
dissimulation; which is, as it were, but the skirts or train of secrecy.</p>
<p>But for the third degree, which is simulation, and false profession; that
I hold more culpable, and less politic; except it be in great and rare
matters. And therefore a general custom of simulation (which is this last
degree) is a vice, using either of a natural falseness or fearfulness, or
of a mind that hath some main faults, which because a man must needs
disguise, it maketh him practise simulation in other things, lest his hand
should be out of use.</p>
<p>The great advantages of simulation and dissimulation are three. First, to
lay asleep opposition, and to surprise. For where a man's intentions are
published, it is an alarum, to call up all that are against them. The
second is, to reserve to a man's self a fair retreat. For if a man engage
himself by a manifest declaration, he must go through or take a fall. The
third is, the better to discover the mind of another. For to him that
opens himself, men will hardly show themselves adverse; but will fair let
him go on, and turn their freedom of speech, to freedom of thought. And
therefore it is a good shrewd proverb of the Spaniard, Tell a lie and find
a troth. As if there were no way of discovery, but by simulation. There be
also three disadvantages, to set it even. The first, that simulation and
dissimulation commonly carry with them a show of fearfulness, which in any
business, doth spoil the feathers, of round flying up to the mark. The
second, that it puzzleth and perplexeth the conceits of many, that perhaps
would otherwise co-operate with him; and makes a man walk almost alone, to
his own ends. The third and greatest is, that it depriveth a man of one of
the most principal instruments for action; which is trust and belief. The
best composition and temperature, is to have openness in fame and opinion;
secrecy in habit; dissimulation in seasonable use; and a power to feign,
if there be no remedy.</p>
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<h2> Of Parents And Children </h2>
<p>THE joys of parents are secret; and so are their griefs and fears. They
cannot utter the one; nor they will not utter the other. Children sweeten
labors; but they make misfortunes more bitter. They increase the cares of
life; but they mitigate the remembrance of death. The perpetuity by
generation is common to beasts; but memory, merit, and noble works, are
proper to men. And surely a man shall see the noblest works and
foundations have proceeded from childless men; which have sought to
express the images of their minds, where those of their bodies have
failed. So the care of posterity is most in them, that have no posterity.
They that are the first raisers of their houses, are most indulgent
towards their children; beholding them as the continuance, not only of
their kind, but of their work; and so both children and creatures.</p>
<p>The difference in affection, of parents towards their several children, is
many times unequal; and sometimes unworthy; especially in the mothers; as
Solomon saith, A wise son rejoiceth the father, but an ungracious son
shames the mother. A man shall see, where there is a house full of
children, one or two of the eldest respected, and the youngest made
wantons; but in the midst, some that are as it were forgotten, who many
times, nevertheless, prove the best. The illiberality of parents, in
allowance towards their children, is an harmful error; makes them base;
acquaints them with shifts; makes them sort with mean company; and makes
them surfeit more when they come to plenty. And therefore the proof is
best, when men keep their authority towards the children, but not their
purse. Men have a foolish manner (both parents and schoolmasters and
servants) in creating and breeding an emulation between brothers, during
childhood, which many times sorteth to discord when they are men, and
disturbeth families. The Italians make little difference between children,
and nephews or near kinsfolks; but so they be of the lump, they care not
though they pass not through their own body. And, to say truth, in nature
it is much a like matter; insomuch that we see a nephew sometimes
resembleth an uncle, or a kinsman, more than his own parent; as the blood
happens. Let parents choose betimes, the vocations and courses they mean
their children should take; for then they are most flexible; and let them
not too much apply themselves to the disposition of their children, as
thinking they will take best to that, which they have most mind to. It is
true, that if the affection or aptness of the children be extraordinary,
then it is good not to cross it; but generally the precept is good,
optimum elige, suave et facile illud faciet consuetudo. Younger brothers
are commonly fortunate, but seldom or never where the elder are
disinherited.</p>
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<h2> Of Marriage And Single Life </h2>
<p>HE THAT hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they
are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.
Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have
proceeded from the unmarried or childless men; which both in affection and
means, have married and endowed the public. Yet it were great reason that
those that have children, should have greatest care of future times; unto
which they know they must transmit their dearest pledges. Some there are,
who though they lead a single life, yet their thoughts do end with
themselves, and account future times impertinences. Nay, there are some
other, that account wife and children, but as bills of charges. Nay more,
there are some foolish rich covetous men, that take a pride, in having no
children, because they may be thought so much the richer. For perhaps they
have heard some talk, Such an one is a great rich man, and another except
to it, Yea, but he hath a great charge of children; as if it were an
abatement to his riches. But the most ordinary cause of a single life, is
liberty, especially in certain self-pleasing and humorous minds, which are
so sensible of every restraint, as they will go near to think their
girdles and garters, to be bonds and shackles. Unmarried men are best
friends, best masters, best servants; but not always best subjects; for
they are light to run away; and almost all fugitives, are of that
condition. A single life doth well with churchmen; for charity will hardly
water the ground, where it must first fill a pool. It is indifferent for
judges and magistrates; for if they be facile and corrupt, you shall have
a servant, five times worse than a wife. For soldiers, I find the generals
commonly in their hortatives, put men in mind of their wives and children;
and I think the despising of marriage amongst the Turks, maketh the vulgar
soldier more base. Certainly wife and children are a kind of discipline of
humanity; and single men, though they may be many times more charitable,
because their means are less exhaust, yet, on the other side, they are
more cruel and hardhearted (good to make severe inquisitors), because
their tenderness is not so oft called upon. Grave natures, led by custom,
and therefore constant, are commonly loving husbands, as was said of
Ulysses, vetulam suam praetulit immortalitati. Chaste women are often
proud and froward, as presuming upon the merit of their chastity. It is
one of the best bonds, both of chastity and obedience, in the wife, if she
think her husband wise; which she will never do, if she find him jealous.
Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men's
nurses. So as a man may have a quarrel to marry, when he will. But yet he
was reputed one of the wise men, that made answer to the question, when a
man should marry,—A young man not yet, an elder man not at all. It
is often seen that bad husbands, have very good wives; whether it be, that
it raiseth the price of their husband's kindness, when it comes; or that
the wives take a pride in their patience. But this never fails, if the bad
husbands were of their own choosing, against their friends' consent; for
then they will be sure to make good their own folly.</p>
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