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<h2> EIGHTEENTH WEEK </h2>
<p>Regrets are idle; yet history is one long regret. Everything might have
turned out so differently! If Ravaillac had not been imprisoned for debt,
he would not have stabbed Henry of Navarre. If William of Orange had
escaped assassination by Philip's emissaries; if France had followed the
French Calvin, and embraced Protestant Calvinism, as it came very near
doing towards the end of the sixteenth century; if the Continental
ammunition had not given out at Bunker's Hill; if Blucher had not “come
up” at Waterloo,—the lesson is, that things do not come up unless
they are planted. When you go behind the historical scenery, you find
there is a rope and pulley to effect every transformation which has
astonished you. It was the rascality of a minister and a contractor five
years before that lost the battle; and the cause of the defeat was
worthless ammunition. I should like to know how many wars have been caused
by fits of indigestion, and how many more dynasties have been upset by the
love of woman than by the hate of man. It is only because we are ill
informed that anything surprises us; and we are disappointed because we
expect that for which we have not provided.</p>
<p>I had too vague expectations of what my garden would do of itself. A
garden ought to produce one everything,—just as a business ought to
support a man, and a house ought to keep itself. We had a convention
lately to resolve that the house should keep itself; but it won't. There
has been a lively time in our garden this summer; but it seems to me there
is very little to show for it. It has been a terrible campaign; but where
is the indemnity? Where are all “sass” and Lorraine? It is true that we
have lived on the country; but we desire, besides, the fruits of the war.
There are no onions, for one thing. I am quite ashamed to take people into
my garden, and have them notice the absence of onions. It is very marked.
In onion is strength; and a garden without it lacks flavor. The onion in
its satin wrappings is among the most beautiful of vegetables; and it is
the only one that represents the essence of things. It can almost be said
to have a soul. You take off coat after coat, and the onion is still
there; and, when the last one is removed, who dare say that the onion
itself is destroyed, though you can weep over its departed spirit? If
there is any one thing on this fallen earth that the angels in heaven weep
over—more than another, it is the onion.</p>
<p>I know that there is supposed to be a prejudice against the onion; but I
think there is rather a cowardice in regard to it. I doubt not that all
men and women love the onion; but few confess their love. Affection for it
is concealed. Good New-Englanders are as shy of owning it as they are of
talking about religion. Some people have days on which they eat onions,—what
you might call “retreats,” or their “Thursdays.” The act is in the nature
of a religious ceremony, an Eleusinian mystery; not a breath of it must
get abroad. On that day they see no company; they deny the kiss of
greeting to the dearest friend; they retire within themselves, and hold
communion with one of the most pungent and penetrating manifestations of
the moral vegetable world. Happy is said to be the family which can eat
onions together. They are, for the time being, separate from the world,
and have a harmony of aspiration. There is a hint here for the reformers.
Let them become apostles of the onion; let them eat, and preach it to
their fellows, and circulate tracts of it in the form of seeds. In the
onion is the hope of universal brotherhood. If all men will eat onions at
all times, they will come into a universal sympathy. Look at Italy. I hope
I am not mistaken as to the cause of her unity. It was the Reds who
preached the gospel which made it possible. All the Reds of Europe, all
the sworn devotees of the mystic Mary Ann, eat of the common vegetable.
Their oaths are strong with it. It is the food, also, of the common people
of Italy. All the social atmosphere of that delicious land is laden with
it. Its odor is a practical democracy. In the churches all are alike:
there is one faith, one smell. The entrance of Victor Emanuel into Rome is
only the pompous proclamation of a unity which garlic had already
accomplished; and yet we, who boast of our democracy, eat onions in
secret.</p>
<p>I now see that I have left out many of the most moral elements. Neither
onions, parsnips, carrots, nor cabbages are here. I have never seen a
garden in the autumn before, without the uncouth cabbage in it; but my
garden gives the impression of a garden without a head. The cabbage is the
rose of Holland. I admire the force by which it compacts its crisp leaves
into a solid head. The secret of it would be priceless to the world. We
should see less expansive foreheads with nothing within. Even the largest
cabbages are not always the best. But I mention these things, not from any
sympathy I have with the vegetables named, but to show how hard it is to
go contrary to the expectations of society. Society expects every man to
have certain things in his garden. Not to raise cabbage is as if one had
no pew in church. Perhaps we shall come some day to free churches and free
gardens; when I can show my neighbor through my tired garden, at the end
of the season, when skies are overcast, and brown leaves are swirling
down, and not mind if he does raise his eyebrows when he observes, “Ah! I
see you have none of this, and of that.” At present we want the moral
courage to plant only what we need; to spend only what will bring us
peace, regardless of what is going on over the fence. We are half ruined
by conformity; but we should be wholly ruined without it; and I presume I
shall make a garden next year that will be as popular as possible.</p>
<p>And this brings me to what I see may be a crisis in life. I begin to feel
the temptation of experiment. Agriculture, horticulture, floriculture,—these
are vast fields, into which one may wander away, and never be seen more.
It seemed to me a very simple thing, this gardening; but it opens up
astonishingly. It is like the infinite possibilities in worsted-work.
Polly sometimes says to me, “I wish you would call at Bobbin's, and match
that skein of worsted for me, when you are in town.” Time was, I used to
accept such a commission with alacrity and self-confidence. I went to
Bobbin's, and asked one of his young men, with easy indifference, to give
me some of that. The young man, who is as handsome a young man as ever I
looked at, and who appears to own the shop, and whose suave
superciliousness would be worth everything to a cabinet minister who
wanted to repel applicants for place, says, “I have n't an ounce: I have
sent to Paris, and I expect it every day. I have a good deal of difficulty
in getting that shade in my assortment.” To think that he is in
communication with Paris, and perhaps with Persia! Respect for such a
being gives place to awe. I go to another shop, holding fast to my scarlet
clew. There I am shown a heap of stuff, with more colors and shades than I
had supposed existed in all the world. What a blaze of distraction! I have
been told to get as near the shade as I could; and so I compare and
contrast, till the whole thing seems to me about of one color. But I can
settle my mind on nothing. The affair assumes a high degree of importance.
I am satisfied with nothing but perfection. I don't know what may happen
if the shade is not matched. I go to another shop, and another, and
another. At last a pretty girl, who could make any customer believe that
green is blue, matches the shade in a minute. I buy five cents worth. That
was the order. Women are the most economical persons that ever were. I
have spent two hours in this five-cent business; but who shall say they
were wasted, when I take the stuff home, and Polly says it is a perfect
match, and looks so pleased, and holds it up with the work, at arm's
length, and turns her head one side, and then takes her needle, and works
it in? Working in, I can see, my own obligingness and amiability with
every stitch. Five cents is dirt cheap for such a pleasure.</p>
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<p>The things I may do in my garden multiply on my vision. How fascinating
have the catalogues of the nurserymen become! Can I raise all those
beautiful varieties, each one of which is preferable to the other? Shall I
try all the kinds of grapes, and all the sorts of pears? I have already
fifteen varieties of strawberries (vines); and I have no idea that I have
hit the right one. Must I subscribe to all the magazines and weekly papers
which offer premiums of the best vines? Oh, that all the strawberries were
rolled into one, that I could inclose all its lusciousness in one bite! Oh
for the good old days when a strawberry was a strawberry, and there was no
perplexity about it! There are more berries now than churches; and no one
knows what to believe. I have seen gardens which were all experiment,
given over to every new thing, and which produced little or nothing to the
owners, except the pleasure of expectation. People grow pear-trees at
great expense of time and money, which never yield them more than four
pears to the tree. The fashions of ladies' bonnets are nothing to the
fashions of nurserymen. He who attempts to follow them has a business for
life; but his life may be short. If I enter upon this wide field of
horticultural experiment, I shall leave peace behind; and I may expect the
ground to open, and swallow me and all my fortune. May Heaven keep me to
the old roots and herbs of my forefathers! Perhaps in the world of modern
reforms this is not possible; but I intend now to cultivate only the
standard things, and learn to talk knowingly of the rest. Of course, one
must keep up a reputation. I have seen people greatly enjoy themselves,
and elevate themselves in their own esteem, in a wise and critical talk
about all the choice wines, while they were sipping a decoction, the
original cost of which bore no relation to the price of grapes.</p>
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