<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<h1>THE MISER.</h1>
<h4>BY</h4>
<h1>MOLIÈRE</h1>
<p> </p>
<h3>PERSONS REPRESENTED.</h3>
<p> </p>
<div class="ind8">
<p><span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>, <i>father to</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>, <i>in love with</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>.<br/>
<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>,
<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon's</span> <i>son, lover to</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>.<br/>
<span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>,
<i>son to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Anselme</span>,
<i>and lover to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>.<br/>
<span class="smallcaps">Anselme</span>, <i>father to</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Valère</span> <i>and</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>.<br/>
<span class="smallcaps">Master Simon</span>, <i>broker</i>.<br/>
<span class="smallcaps">Master Jacques</span>, <i>cook and coachman to</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>.<br/>
<span class="smallcaps">La Flèche</span>, <i>valet to</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>.<br/>
<span class="smallcaps">Brindavoine</span>,
<i>and</i> <span class="smallcaps">La Merluche</span>,
<i>lackeys to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>.<br/>
<span class="smallcaps">A Magistrate</span> <i>and his</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Clerk</span>.<br/>
<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>,
<i>daughter to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>.<br/>
<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>,
<i>daughter to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Anselme</span>.<br/>
<span class="smallcaps">Frosine</span>, <i>an intriguing woman</i>.<br/>
<span class="smallcaps">Mistress Claude</span>,
<i>servant to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>.</p>
<p><i>The scene is at</i> <span class="smallcaps">Paris</span>,
<i>in</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon's</span> <i>house</i>.</p>
</div>
<p> </p>
<hr class="narrow" />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<h1>THE MISER.</h1>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<h2>ACT I.</h2>
<h3>SCENE I.——VALÈRE, ÉLISE.</h3>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
What, dear Élise! you grow sad after having given me such dear
tokens of your love; and I see you sigh in the midst of my joy! Can
you regret having made me happy? and do you repent of the engagement
which my love has forced from you?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
No, Valère, I do not regret what I do for you; I feel carried on
by too delightful a power, and I do not even wish that things should
be otherwise than they are. Yet, to tell you the truth, I am very
anxious about the consequences; and I greatly fear that I love you
more than I should.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
What can you possibly fear from the affection you have shown me?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Everything; the anger of my father, the reproaches of my family,
the censure of the world, and, above all, Valère, a change in your
heart! I fear that cruel coldness with which your sex so often repays
the too warm proofs of an innocent love.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
Alas! do not wrong me thus; do not judge of me by others. Think
me capable of everything, Élise, except of falling short of what I owe
to you. I love you too much for that; and my love will be as lasting
as my life!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Ah! Valère, all men say the same thing; all men are alike in
their words; their actions only show the difference that exists
between them.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
Then why not wait for actions, if by them alone you can judge of
the truthfulness of my heart? Do not suffer your anxious fears to
mislead you, and to wrong me. Do not let an unjust suspicion destroy
the happiness which is to me dearer than life; but give me time to
show you by a thousand proofs the sincerity of my affection.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Alas! how easily do we allow ourselves to be persuaded by those
we love. I believe you, Valère; I feel sure that your heart is utterly
incapable of deceiving me, that your love is sincere, and that you
will ever remain faithful to me. I will no longer doubt that happiness
is near. If I grieve, it will only be over the difficulties of our
position, and the possible censures of the world.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. But why even this fear?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Oh, Valère! if everybody knew you as I do, I should not have much
to fear. I find in you enough to justify all I do for you; my heart
knows all your merit, and feels, moreover, bound to you by deep
gratitude. How can I forget that horrible moment when we met for the
first time? Your generous courage in risking your own life to save
mine from the fury of the waves; your tender care afterwards; your
constant attentions and your ardent love, which neither time nor
difficulties can lessen! For me you neglect your parents and your
country; you give up your own position in life to be a servant of my
father! How can I resist the influence that all this has over me? Is
it not enough to justify in my eyes my engagement to you? Yet, who
knows if it will be enough to justify it in the eyes of others? and
how can I feel sure that my motives will be understood?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
You try in vain to find merit in what I have done; it is by my
love alone that I trust to deserve you. As for the scruples you feel,
your father himself justifies you but too much before the world; and
his avarice and the distant way in which he lives with his children
might authorise stranger things still. Forgive me, my dear Élise, for
speaking thus of your father before you; but you know that,
unfortunately, on this subject no good can be said of him. However, if
I can find my parents, as I fully hope I shall, they will soon be
favourable to us. I am expecting news of them with great impatience;
but if none comes I will go in search of them myself.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Oh no! Valère, do not leave me, I entreat you. Try rather to
ingratiate yourself in my father's favour.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
You know how much I wish it, and you can see how I set about it.
You know the skilful manoeuvres I have had to use in order to
introduce myself into his service; under what a mask of sympathy and
conformity of tastes I disguise my own feelings to please him; and
what a part I play to acquire his affection. I succeed wonderfully
well, and I feel that to obtain favour with men, there are no better
means than to pretend to be of their way of thinking, to fall in with
their maxims, to praise their defects, and to applaud all their
doings. One need not fear to overdo it, for however gross the
flattery, the most cunning are easily duped; there is nothing so
impertinent or ridiculous which they will not believe, provided it be
well seasoned with praise. Honesty suffers, I acknowledge; but when we
have need of men, we may be allowed without blame to adapt ourselves
to their mode of thought; and if we have no other hope of success but
through such stratagem, it is not after all the fault of those who
flatter, but the fault of those who wish to be flattered.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Why do you not try also to gain my brother's goodwill, in case
the servant should betray our secret?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
I am afraid I cannot humour them both. The temper of the father
is so different from that of the son that it would be difficult to be
the confidant of both at the same time. Rather try your brother
yourself; make use of the love that exists between you to enlist him
in our cause. I leave you, for I see him coming. Speak to him, sound
him, and see how far we can trust him.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
I greatly fear I shall never have the courage to speak to him of
my secret.</p>
<p> </p>
<h3>SCENE II.——CLÉANTE, ÉLISE,</h3>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
I am very glad to find you alone, sister. I longed to speak to
you and to tell you a secret.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
I am quite ready to hear you, brother. What is it you have to
tell me?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
Many things, sister, summed up in one word—love.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. You love?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
Yes, I love. But, before I say more, let me tell you that I know
I depend on my father, and that the name of son subjects me to his
will; that it would be wrong to engage ourselves without the consent
of the authors of our being; that heaven has made them the masters of
our affections, and that it is our duty not to dispose of ourselves
but in accordance to their wish; that their judgment is not biassed by
their being in love themselves; that they are, therefore, much more
likely not to be deceived by appearances, and to judge better what is
good for us; that we ought to trust their experience rather than the
passion which blinds us; and that the rashness of youth often carries
us to the very brink of dangerous abysses. I know all this, my sister,
and I tell it you to spare you the trouble of saying it to me, for my
love will not let me listen to anything, and I pray you to spare me
your remonstrances.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Have you engaged yourself, brother, to her you love?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
No, but I have determined to do so; and I beseech you once more
not to bring forward any reason to dissuade me from it.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Am I such a very strange person, brother?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
No, dear sister; but you do not love. You know not the sweet
power that love has upon our hearts; and I dread your wisdom.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Alas! my brother, let us not speak of my wisdom. There are very
few people in this world who do not lack wisdom, were it only once in
their lifetime; and if I opened my heart to you, perhaps you would
think me less wise than you are yourself.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
Ah! would to heaven that your heart, like mine …</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Let us speak of you first, and tell me whom it is you love.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
A young girl who has lately come to live in our neighbourhood,
and who seems made to inspire love in all those who behold her.
Nature, my dear sister, has made nothing more lovely; and I felt
another man the moment I saw her. Her name is Marianne, and she lives
with a good, kind mother, who is almost always ill, and for whom the
dear girl shows the greatest affection. She waits upon her, pities and
comforts her with a tenderness that would touch you to the very soul.
Whatever she undertakes is done in the most charming way; and in all
her actions shine a wonderful grace, a most winning gentleness, an
adorable modesty, a … ah! my sister, how I wish you had but seen
her.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
I see many things in what you tell me, dear brother; and it is
sufficient for me to know that you love her for me to understand what
she is.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
I have discovered, without their knowing it, that they are not in
very good circumstances, and that, although they live with the
greatest care, they have barely enough to cover their expenses. Can
you imagine, my sister, what happiness it must be to improve the
condition of those we love; skilfully to bring about some relief to
the modest wants of a virtuous family? And think what grief it is for
me to find myself deprived of this great joy through the avarice of a
father, and for it to be impossible for me to give any proof of my
love to her who is all in all to me.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Yes, I understand, dear brother, what sorrow this must be to you.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
It is greater, my sister, than you can believe. For is there
anything more cruel than this mean economy to which we are subjected?
this strange penury in which we are made to pine? What good will it do
us to have a fortune if it only comes to us when we are not able to
enjoy it; if now to provide for my daily maintenance I get into debt
on every side; if both you and I are reduced daily to beg the help of
tradespeople in order to have decent clothes to wear? In short, I
wanted to speak to you that you might help me to sound my father
concerning my present feelings; and if I find him opposed to them, I
am determined to go and live elsewhere with this most charming girl,
and to make the best of what Providence offers us. I am trying
everywhere to raise money for this purpose; and if your circumstances,
dear sister, are like mine, and our father opposes us, let us both
leave him, and free ourselves from the tyranny in which his hateful
avarice has for so long held us.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
It is but too true that every day he gives us more and more
reason to regret the death of our mother, and that …</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
I hear his voice. Let us go a little farther and finish our talk.
We will afterwards join our forces to make a common attack on his hard
and unkind heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<h3>SCENE III.——HARPAGON, LA FLÈCHE.</h3>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Get out of here, this moment; and let me have no more of your
prating. Now then, be gone out of my house, you sworn pickpocket, you
veritable gallows' bird.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. (<i>aside</i>).
I never saw anything more wicked than this
cursed old man; and I truly believe, if I may be allowed to say so,
that he is possessed with a devil.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
What are you muttering there between your teeth?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Why do you send me away?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
You dare to ask me my reasons, you scoundrel? Out with you, this
moment, before I give you a good thrashing.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
What have I done to you?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Done this, that I wish you to be off.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
My master, your son, gave me orders to wait for him.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Go and wait for him in the street, then; out with you; don't stay
in my house, straight and stiff as a sentry, to observe what is going
on, and to make your profit of everything. I won't always have before
me a spy on all my affairs; a treacherous scamp, whose cursed eyes
watch all my actions, covet all I possess, and ferret about in every
corner to see if there is anything to steal.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
How the deuce could one steal anything from you? Are you a man
likely to be robbed when you put every possible thing under lock and
key, and mount guard day and night?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
I will lock up whatever I think fit, and mount guard when and
where I please. Did you ever see such spies as are set upon me to take
note of everything I do? (<i>Aside</i>) I tremble for fear he should
suspect something of my money. (<i>Aloud</i>) Now, aren't you a fellow
to give rise to stories about my having money hid in my house?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
You have some money hid in your house?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
No, scoundrel! I do not say that. (<i>Aside</i>) I am furious!
(<i>Aloud</i>) I only ask if out of mischief you do not spread abroad
the report that I have some?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
Oh! What does it matter whether you have money, or whether you
have not, since it is all the same to us?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
(<i>raising his hand to give</i> <span class="smallcaps">La Flèche</span>
<i>a blow</i>). Oh! oh! You
want to argue, do you? I will give you, and quickly too, some few of
these arguments about your ears. Get out of the house, I tell you once
more.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
Very well; very well. I am going.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
No, wait; are you carrying anything away with you?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
What can I possibly carry away?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Come here, and let me see. Show me your hands.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. There they are.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. The others.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. The others?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. There they are.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
(<i>pointing to</i> <span class="smallcaps">La Flèche's</span> <i>breeches</i>).
Have you anything hid
in here?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Look for yourself.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
(<i>feeling the knees of the breeches</i>). These wide knee-breeches
are convenient receptacles of stolen goods; and I wish a pair
of them had been hanged.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
(<i>aside</i>). Ah! how richly such a man deserves what he
fears, and what joy it would be to me to steal some of his …</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Eh?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. What?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What is it you talk of stealing?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
I say that you feel about everywhere to see if I have been
stealing anything.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
And I mean to do so too. (<i>He feels in</i>
<span class="smallcaps">La Flèche's</span>
<i>pockets</i>).</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
Plague take all misers and all miserly ways!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Eh? What do you say?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. What do I say?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Yes. What is it you say about misers and miserly ways.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
I say plague take all misers and all miserly ways.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Of whom do you speak?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Of misers.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. And who are they, these misers?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Villains and stingy wretches!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. But what do you mean by that?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
Why do you trouble yourself so much about what I say?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
I trouble myself because I think it right to do so.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
Do you think I am speaking about you?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
I think what I think; but I insist upon your telling me to whom
you speak when you say that.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
To whom I speak? I am speaking to the inside of my hat.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
And I will, perhaps, speak to the outside of your head.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
Would you prevent me from cursing misers?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
No; but I will prevent you from prating and from being insolent.
Hold your tongue, will you?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
I name nobody.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Another word, and I'll thrash you.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
He whom the cap fits, let him wear it.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Will you be silent?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
Yes; much against my will.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Ah! ah!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
(<i>showing</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>
<i>one of his doublet pockets</i>).
Just look, here is one more pocket. Are you satisfied?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Come, give it up to me without all that fuss.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Give you what?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What you have stolen from me.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
I have stolen nothing at all from you.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Are you telling the truth?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Good-bye, then, and now you may go to the devil.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>.
(<i>aside</i>). That's a nice way of dismissing anyone.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
I leave it to your conscience, remember!</p>
<p> </p>
<h3>SCENE IV.——HARPAGON (<i>alone</i>.)</h3>
<p>This rascally valet is a constant vexation to me; and I hate the very
sight of the good-for-nothing cripple. Really, it is no small anxiety
to keep by one a large sum of money; and happy is the man who has all
his cash well invested, and who needs not keep by him more than he
wants for his daily expenses. I am not a little puzzled to find in the
whole of this house a safe hiding-place. Don't speak to me of your
strong boxes, I will never trust to them. Why, they are just the very
things thieves set upon!</p>
<p> </p>
<h3>SCENE V.——HARPAGON, ÉLISE <i>and</i> CLÉANTE <i>are seen talking together at the back of the stage</i>.</h3>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
(<i>thinking himself alone</i>.) Meanwhile, I hardly know whether
I did right to bury in my garden the ten thousand crowns which were
paid to me yesterday. Ten thousand crowns in gold is a sum
sufficiently … (<i>Aside, on perceiving</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span> <i>and</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>
<i>whispering together</i>) Good heavens! I have betrayed myself; my
warmth has carried me away. I believe I spoke aloud while reasoning
with myself. (<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span> <i>and</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>) What do you want?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Nothing, father.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Have you been here long?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. We have only just come.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Did you hear…?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. What, father?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. There…!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. What?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What I was just now saying.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. No.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. You did. I know you did.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
I beg your pardon, father, but we did not.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
I see well enough that you overheard a few words. The fact is, I
was only talking to myself about the trouble one has nowadays to raise
any money; and I was saying that he is a fortunate man who has ten
thousand crowns in his house.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
We were afraid of coming near you, for fear of intruding.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
I am very glad to tell you this, so that you may not misinterpret
things, and imagine that I said that it was I who have ten thousand
crowns.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
We do not wish to interfere in your affairs.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Would that I had them, these ten thousand crowns!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
I should not think that …</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
What a capital affair it would be for me.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. There are things …</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. I greatly need them.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. I fancy that …</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
It would suit me exceedingly well.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. You are …</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
And I should not have to complain, as I do now, that the times
are bad.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
Hear me, father, you have no reason to complain; and everyone
knows that you are well enough off.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
How? I am well enough off! Those who say it are liars. Nothing
can be more false; and they are scoundrels who spread such reports.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. Don't be angry.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
It is strange that my own children betray me and become my
enemies.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
Is it being your enemy to say that you have wealth?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Yes, it is. Such talk and your extravagant expenses will be the
cause that some day thieves will come and cut my throat, in the belief
that I am made of gold.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
What extravagant expenses do I indulge in?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
What! Is there anything more scandalous than this sumptuous
attire with which you jaunt it about the town? I was remonstrating
with your sister yesterday, but you are still worse. It cries
vengeance to heaven; and were we to calculate all you are wearing,
from head to foot, we should find enough for a good annuity. I have
told you a hundred times, my son, that your manners displease me
exceedingly; you affect the marquis terribly, and for you to be always
dressed as you are, you must certainly rob me.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
Rob you? And how?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
How should I know? Where else could you find money enough to
clothe yourself as you do?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
I, father? I play; and as I am very lucky, I spend in clothes all
the money I win.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
It is very wrong. If you are lucky at play, you should profit by
it, and place the money you win at decent interest, so that you may
find it again some day. I should like to know, for instance, without
mentioning the rest, what need there is for all these ribbons with
which you are decked from head to foot, and if half a dozen tags are
not sufficient to fasten your breeches. What necessity is there for
anyone to spend money upon wigs, when we have hair of our own growth,
which costs nothing. I will lay a wager that, in wigs and ribbons
alone, there are certainly twenty pistoles spent, and twenty pistoles
brings in at least eighteen livres six sous eight deniers per annum,
at only eight per cent interest.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. You are quite right.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Enough on this subject; let us talk of something else. (<i>Aside,
noticing</i> <span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>
<i>and</i> <span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>,
<i>who make signs to one another</i>)
I believe they are making signs to one another to pick my pocket.
(<i>Aloud</i>) What do you mean by those signs?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
We are hesitating as to who shall speak first, for we both have
something to tell you.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
And I also have something to tell you both.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
We wanted to speak to you about marriage, father.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
The very thing I wish to speak to you about.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. Ah! my father!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
What is the meaning of that exclamation? Is it the word,
daughter, or the thing itself that frightens you?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
Marriage may frighten us both according to the way you take it;
and our feelings may perhaps not coincide with your choice.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
A little patience, if you please. You need not be alarmed. I know
what is good for you both, and you will have no reason to complain of
anything I intend to do. To begin at the beginning. (<i>To</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>)
Do you know, tell me, a young person, called Marianne, who
lives not far from here?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Yes, father.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. And you?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
I have heard her spoken of.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Well, my son, and how do you like the girl?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
She is very charming.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Her face?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Modest and intelligent.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Her air and manner?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Perfect, undoubtedly.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Do you not think that such a girl well deserves to be thought of?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Yes, father.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
She would form a very desirable match?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Very desirable.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
That there is every likelihood of her making a thrifty and
careful wife.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Certainly.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
And that a husband might live very happily with her?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
I have not the least doubt about it.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
There is one little difficulty; I am afraid she has not the
fortune we might reasonably expect.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
Oh, my father, riches are of little importance when one is sure
of marrying a virtuous woman.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
I beg your pardon. Only there is this to be said: that if we do
not find as much money as we could wish, we may make it up in
something else.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
That follows as a matter of course.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Well, I must say that I am very much pleased to find that you
entirely agree with me, for her modest manner and her gentleness have
won my heart; and I have made up my mind to marry her, provided I find
she has some dowry.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Eh!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What now?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
You are resolved, you say…?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
To marry Marianne.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Who? you? you?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Yes, I, I, I. What does all this mean?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>.
I feel a sudden dizziness, and I must withdraw for a little
while.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
It will be nothing. Go quickly into the kitchen and drink a large
glass of cold water, it will soon set you all right again.</p>
<p> </p>
<h3>SCENE VI.——HARPAGON, ÉLISE.</h3>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
There goes one of your effeminate fops, with no more stamina than
a chicken. That is what I have resolved for myself, my daughter. As to
your brother, I have thought for him of a certain widow, of whom I
heard this morning; and you I shall give to Mr. Anselme.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. To Mr. Anselme?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Yes, a staid and prudent man, who is not above fifty, and of
whose riches everybody speaks.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. (<i>curtseying</i>).
I have no wish to marry, father, if you
please.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>imitating</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>).
And I, my little girl, my darling, I
wish you to marry, if you please.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
(<i>curtseying again</i>). I beg your pardon, my father.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
(<i>again imitating</i> <span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>).
I beg your pardon, my daughter.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
I am the very humble servant of Mr. Anselme, but (<i>curtseying
again</i>), with your leave, I shall not marry him.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
I am your very humble servant, but (<i>again imitating</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>)
you will marry him this very evening.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. This evening?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. This evening.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. (<i>curtseying again</i>).
It cannot be done, father.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>imitating</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>). It will be done, daughter.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. No.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. No, I tell you.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes, I tell you.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
You will never force me to do such a thing</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. I will force you to it.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
I had rather kill myself than marry such a man.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
You will not kill yourself, and you will marry him. But did you
ever see such impudence? Did ever any one hear a daughter speak in
such a fashion to her father?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
But did ever anyone see a father marry his daughter after such a
fashion?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
It is a match against which nothing can be said, and I am
perfectly sure that everybody will approve of my choice.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
And I know that it will be approved of by no reasonable person.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>seeing</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>).
There is Valère coming. Shall we make him
judge in this affair?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. Willingly.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
You will abide by what he says?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Yes, whatever he thinks right, I will do.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Agreed.</p>
<p> </p>
<h3>SCENE VII.——VALÈRE, HARPAGON, ÉLISE.</h3>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Valère, we have chosen you to decide who is in the right, my
daughter or I.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
It is certainly you, Sir.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
But have you any idea of what we are talking about?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
No; but you could not be in the wrong; you are reason itself.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
I want to give her to-night, for a husband, a man as rich as he
is good; and the hussy tells me to my face that she scorns to take
him. What do you say to that?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. What I say to it?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. Eh! eh!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
I say that I am, upon the whole, of your opinion, and that you
cannot but be right; yet, perhaps, she is not altogether wrong;
and …</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
How so? Mr. Anselme is an excellent match; he is a nobleman, and
a gentleman too; of simple habits, and extremely well off. He has no
children left from his first marriage. Could she meet with anything
more suitable?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
It is true. But she might say that you are going rather fast, and
that she ought to have at least a little time to consider whether her
inclination could reconcile itself to …</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
It is an opportunity I must not allow to slip through my fingers.
I find an advantage here which I should not find elsewhere, and he
agrees to take her without dowry.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. Without dowry?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
Ah! I have nothing more to say. A more convincing reason could
not be found; and she must yield to that.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
It is a considerable saving to me.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
Undoubtedly; this admits of no contradiction. It is true that
your daughter might represent to you that marriage is a more serious
affair than people are apt to believe; that the happiness or misery of
a whole life depends on it, and that an engagement which is to last
till death ought not to be entered into without great consideration.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Without dowry!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
That must of course decide everything. There are certainly people
who might tell you that on such occasions the wishes of a daughter are
no doubt to be considered, and that this great disparity of age, of
disposition, and of feelings might be the cause of many an unpleasant
thing in a married life.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Without dowry!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
Ah! it must be granted that there is no reply to that; who in the
world could think otherwise? I do not mean to say but that there are
many fathers who would set a much higher value on the happiness of
their daughter than on the money they may have to give for their
marriage; who would not like to sacrifice them to their own interests,
and who would, above all things, try to see in a marriage that sweet
conformity of tastes which is a sure pledge of honour, tranquillity
and joy; and that …</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Without dowry!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
That is true; nothing more can be said. Without dowry. How can
anyone resist such arguments?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
(<i>aside, looking towards the garden</i>). Ah! I fancy I hear a
dog barking. Is anyone after my money.
(<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>) Stop here,
I'll come back directly.</p>
<p> </p>
<h3>SCENE VIII.——ÉLISE, VALÈRE.</h3>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
Surely, Valère, you are not in earnest when you speak to him in
that manner?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
I do it that I may not vex him, and the better to secure my ends.
To resist him boldly would simply spoil everything. There are certain
people who are only to be managed by indirect means, temperaments
averse from all resistance, restive natures whom truth causes to rear,
who always kick when we would lead them on the right road of reason,
and who can only be led by a way opposed to that by which you wish
them to go. Pretend to comply with his wishes; you are much more
likely to succeed in the end, and …</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
But this marriage, Valère?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
We will find some pretext for breaking it off.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
But what pretext can we find if it is to be concluded to-night?</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
You must ask to have it delayed, and must feign some illness or
other.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>.
But he will soon discover the truth if they call in the doctor.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
Not a bit of it. Do you imagine that a doctor understands what he
is about? Nonsense! Don't be afraid. Believe me, you may complain of
any disease you please, the doctor will be at no loss to explain to
you from what it proceeds.</p>
<p> </p>
<h3>SCENE IX——HARPAGON, ÉLISE, VALÈRE.</h3>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
(<i>alone, at the farther end of the stage</i>). It is nothing,
thank heaven!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
(<i>not seeing</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>).
In short, flight is the last
resource we have left us to avoid all this; and if your love, dear
Élise, is as strong as … (<i>Seeing</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>) Yes, a daughter is
bound to obey her father. She has no right to inquire what a husband
offered to her is like, and when the most important question, "without
dowry," presents itself, she should accept anybody that is given her.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Good; that was beautifully said!</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
I beg your pardon, Sir, if I carry it a little too far, and take
upon myself to speak to her as I do.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Why, I am delighted, and I wish you to have her entirely under
your control. (<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>)
Yes, you may run away as much as you
like. I give him all the authority over you that heaven has given me,
and I will have you do all that he tells you.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
After that, resist all my expostulations, if you can.</p>
<p> </p>
<h3>SCENE X.——HARPAGON, VALÈRE.</h3>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
I will follow her, Sir, if you will allow me, and will continue
the lecture I was giving her.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Yes, do so; you will oblige me greatly.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
She ought to be kept in with a tight hand.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Quite true, you must …</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
Do not be afraid; I believe I shall end by convincing her.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Do so, do so. I am going to take a short stroll in the town, and
I will come back again presently.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>.
(<i>going towards the door through which</i>
<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span> <i>left, and
speaking as if it were to her</i>). Yes, money is more precious than
anything else in the world, and you should thank heaven that you have
so worthy a man for a father. He knows what life is. When a man offers
to marry a girl without a dowry, we ought to look no farther.
Everything is comprised in that, and "without dowry" compensates for
want of beauty, youth, birth, honour, wisdom, and probity.</p>
<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>.
Ah! the honest fellow! he speaks like an oracle. Happy is he who
can secure such a servant!</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />