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<h2>THOSE SYMPHONY CONCERT PROGRAMS</h2> METROPOLITAN SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA <cite>Otto Culmbacher</cite>, Conductor <cite>Felice Elefantine</cite>, Soloiste of the evening I. <cite>Gastronomic Symphony</cite>—Kovik-Bordunov <div class="center"> <table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="Syphony concert program"> <tr><td align="left">(a)</td><td align="left">Allegretti</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">(b)</td><td align="left">Pistachio</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">(c)</td><td align="left">Chianti</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">(d)</td><td align="left">Risotto, con aglio</td></tr> </table></div> II. <cite>Larghetto</cite> Culmbacher III. <cite>Aria from</cite> "<cite>Il Campanile</cite>" Gondola (<cite>Signorina Elefantine</cite>) (The Hardwood Piano is used) <hr class="tb" /> CRITICAL COMMENTS ON THE NUMBERS I. Gastronomic Symphony. It is not certain when Ptior Kovik-Bordunov was born. His parents, being thrifty peasants, put him in a basket and left him on the steppes of Russia. Adopted by a Russian Princess, named Caviar[Pg 192] Vodka, he was raised as if he had been her own dog. His early musical inclination was so pronounced that he was sent to the Warsaw Conservatory, where he served three terms. Soon after being released from this institution he wrote "Samovar," the opera that made him famous. "Samovar" so pleased the Czar that young Bordunov was given a pension and a bath. But alas! either his sudden success or the bath so affected his mind, that from that time on the authorities were obliged to keep him in confinement. The above symphony was written on the walls of his cell, from which it was transcribed after his suicide. It depicts the blight of all his hopes, the sorrows of Russia, the drowning of his fiancée, the height of the steppes, and the agonies of indigestion. The Allegretti opens with an arabesque tone-poem of somber sweetness, under which strange and varied delights are hidden. Then comes the minor Pistachio, weirdly oriental in color. This is followed by the tempestuous and maddening Chianti. Last of all comes the terrible Risotto, con aglio. Here we have an example of the insight of genius! By itself,[Pg 193] the Risotto con aglio would be almost mild; but coming as it does on top of the Allegretti, the Pistachio, and the Chianti, it is bound to produce a truly tragic finale. II. Larghetto. This étude is by the conductor. (He thought this would be a good place to work it in, the orchestra and audience being powerless to restrain him.) Herr Otto Fédor Ivan Culmbacher was born of noble parents in Hofbräu, Silesia. He was discovered and imported to America by the brilliant patronesses of the Metropolitan Symphony Society. A larghetto is a little largo—one without a handel. A composer writes a larghetto when he feels something like writing a largo but isn't, on the whole, quite up to it. III. Aria from "Il Campanile". This opera, though well known in Budapest and South America, is practically unknown in the United States. The aria, "O belli spaghetti," is so vocally exacting that to sing its bird-like notes a prima donna should diet for weeks on bird seed. Here are the words—which are repeated fourteen times in the course of the aria. [Pg 194] <div class="center"> <table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="Aria from Il Campanile"> <tr><td align="center">THE ITALIAN</td><td align="center">THE TRANSLATION</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">O belli spaghetti,</td><td align="left">Had I the wings of a dove,</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">O bianchi confetti.</td><td align="left">I would fly, I would fly to my love.</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">Bananni, bananni,</td><td align="left">I would fly, I would fly,</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">E tutti frutti—</td><td align="left">Through the sky, through the sky,</td></tr> <tr><td align="left">O bianchi confetti!</td><td align="left">I would fly, I would fly to my love!</td></tr> </table></div> (She waddles off) <hr class="chap" /> [Pg 195] <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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