<h2><SPAN name="chap12"></SPAN>XII.</h2>
<p>On entering his own door after watching his wife out of sight, the Mayor walked
on through the tunnel-shaped passage into the garden, and thence by the back
door towards the stores and granaries. A light shone from the office-window,
and there being no blind to screen the interior Henchard could see Donald
Farfrae still seated where he had left him, initiating himself into the
managerial work of the house by overhauling the books. Henchard entered, merely
observing, “Don’t let me interrupt you, if ye will stay so
late.”</p>
<p>He stood behind Farfrae’s chair, watching his dexterity in clearing up
the numerical fogs which had been allowed to grow so thick in Henchard’s
books as almost to baffle even the Scotchman’s perspicacity. The
corn-factor’s mien was half admiring, and yet it was not without a dash
of pity for the tastes of any one who could care to give his mind to such
finnikin details. Henchard himself was mentally and physically unfit for
grubbing subtleties from soiled paper; he had in a modern sense received the
education of Achilles, and found penmanship a tantalizing art.</p>
<p>“You shall do no more to-night,” he said at length, spreading his
great hand over the paper. “There’s time enough to-morrow. Come
indoors with me and have some supper. Now you shall! I am determined
on’t.” He shut the account-books with friendly force.</p>
<p>Donald had wished to get to his lodgings; but he already saw that his friend
and employer was a man who knew no moderation in his requests and impulses, and
he yielded gracefully. He liked Henchard’s warmth, even if it
inconvenienced him; the great difference in their characters adding to the
liking.</p>
<p>They locked up the office, and the young man followed his companion through the
private little door which, admitting directly into Henchard’s garden,
permitted a passage from the utilitarian to the beautiful at one step. The
garden was silent, dewy, and full of perfume. It extended a long way back from
the house, first as lawn and flower-beds, then as fruit-garden, where the
long-tied espaliers, as old as the old house itself, had grown so stout, and
cramped, and gnarled that they had pulled their stakes out of the ground and
stood distorted and writhing in vegetable agony, like leafy Laocoons. The
flowers which smelt so sweetly were not discernible; and they passed through
them into the house.</p>
<p>The hospitalities of the morning were repeated, and when they were over
Henchard said, “Pull your chair round to the fireplace, my dear fellow,
and let’s make a blaze—there’s nothing I hate like a black
grate, even in September.” He applied a light to the laid-in fuel, and a
cheerful radiance spread around.</p>
<p>“It is odd,” said Henchard, “that two men should meet as we
have done on a purely business ground, and that at the end of the first day I
should wish to speak to ’ee on a family matter. But, damn it all, I am a
lonely man, Farfrae: I have nobody else to speak to; and why shouldn’t I
tell it to ’ee?”</p>
<p>“I’ll be glad to hear it, if I can be of any service,” said
Donald, allowing his eyes to travel over the intricate wood-carvings of the
chimney-piece, representing garlanded lyres, shields, and quivers, on either
side of a draped ox-skull, and flanked by heads of Apollo and Diana in low
relief.</p>
<p>“I’ve not been always what I am now,” continued Henchard, his
firm deep voice being ever so little shaken. He was plainly under that strange
influence which sometimes prompts men to confide to the new-found friend what
they will not tell to the old. “I began life as a working hay-trusser,
and when I was eighteen I married on the strength o’ my calling. Would
you think me a married man?”</p>
<p>“I heard in the town that you were a widower.”</p>
<p>“Ah, yes—you would naturally have heard that. Well, I lost my wife
nineteen years ago or so—by my own fault.... This is how it came about.
One summer evening I was travelling for employment, and she was walking at my
side, carrying the baby, our only child. We came to a booth in a country fair.
I was a drinking man at that time.”</p>
<p>Henchard paused a moment, threw himself back so that his elbow rested on the
table, his forehead being shaded by his hand, which, however, did not hide the
marks of introspective inflexibility on his features as he narrated in fullest
detail the incidents of the transaction with the sailor. The tinge of
indifference which had at first been visible in the Scotchman now disappeared.</p>
<p>Henchard went on to describe his attempts to find his wife; the oath he swore;
the solitary life he led during the years which followed. “I have kept my
oath for nineteen years,” he went on; “I have risen to what you see
me now.”</p>
<p>“Ay!”</p>
<p>“Well—no wife could I hear of in all that time; and being by nature
something of a woman-hater, I have found it no hardship to keep mostly at a
distance from the sex. No wife could I hear of, I say, till this very day. And
now—she has come back.”</p>
<p>“Come back, has she!”</p>
<p>“This morning—this very morning. And what’s to be
done?”</p>
<p>“Can ye no’ take her and live with her, and make some
amends?”</p>
<p>“That’s what I’ve planned and proposed. But, Farfrae,”
said Henchard gloomily, “by doing right with Susan I wrong another
innocent woman.”</p>
<p>“Ye don’t say that?”</p>
<p>“In the nature of things, Farfrae, it is almost impossible that a man of
my sort should have the good fortune to tide through twenty years o’ life
without making more blunders than one. It has been my custom for many years to
run across to Jersey in the the way of business, particularly in the potato and
root season. I do a large trade wi’ them in that line. Well, one autumn
when stopping there I fell quite ill, and in my illness I sank into one of
those gloomy fits I sometimes suffer from, on account o’ the loneliness
of my domestic life, when the world seems to have the blackness of hell, and,
like Job, I could curse the day that gave me birth.”</p>
<p>“Ah, now, I never feel like it,” said Farfrae.</p>
<p>“Then pray to God that you never may, young man. While in this state I
was taken pity on by a woman—a young lady I should call her, for she was
of good family, well bred, and well educated—the daughter of some
harum-scarum military officer who had got into difficulties, and had his pay
sequestrated. He was dead now, and her mother too, and she was as lonely as I.
This young creature was staying at the boarding-house where I happened to have
my lodging; and when I was pulled down she took upon herself to nurse me. From
that she got to have a foolish liking for me. Heaven knows why, for I
wasn’t worth it. But being together in the same house, and her feeling
warm, we got naturally intimate. I won’t go into particulars of what our
relations were. It is enough to say that we honestly meant to marry. There
arose a scandal, which did me no harm, but was of course ruin to her. Though,
Farfrae, between you and me, as man and man, I solemnly declare that
philandering with womankind has neither been my vice nor my virtue. She was
terribly careless of appearances, and I was perhaps more, because o’ my
dreary state; and it was through this that the scandal arose. At last I was
well, and came away. When I was gone she suffered much on my account, and
didn’t forget to tell me so in letters one after another; till latterly,
I felt I owed her something, and thought that, as I had not heard of Susan for
so long, I would make this other one the only return I could make, and ask her
if she would run the risk of Susan being alive (very slight as I believed) and
marry me, such as I was. She jumped for joy, and we should no doubt soon have
been married—but, behold, Susan appears!”</p>
<p>Donald showed his deep concern at a complication so far beyond the degree of
his simple experiences.</p>
<p>“Now see what injury a man may cause around him! Even after that
wrong-doing at the fair when I was young, if I had never been so selfish as to
let this giddy girl devote herself to me over at Jersey, to the injury of her
name, all might now be well. Yet, as it stands, I must bitterly disappoint one
of these women; and it is the second. My first duty is to
Susan—there’s no doubt about that.”</p>
<p>“They are both in a very melancholy position, and that’s
true!” murmured Donald.</p>
<p>“They are! For myself I don’t care—’twill all end one
way. But these two.” Henchard paused in reverie. “I feel I should
like to treat the second, no less than the first, as kindly as a man can in
such a case.”</p>
<p>“Ah, well, it cannet be helped!” said the other, with philosophic
woefulness. “You mun write to the young lady, and in your letter you must
put it plain and honest that it turns out she cannet be your wife, the first
having come back; that ye cannet see her more; and that—ye wish her
weel.”</p>
<p>“That won’t do. ’Od seize it, I must do a little more than
that! I must—though she did always brag about her rich uncle or rich
aunt, and her expectations from ’em—I must send a useful sum of
money to her, I suppose—just as a little recompense, poor girl.... Now,
will you help me in this, and draw up an explanation to her of all I’ve
told ye, breaking it as gently as you can? I’m so bad at letters.”</p>
<p>“And I will.”</p>
<p>“Now, I haven’t told you quite all yet. My wife Susan has my
daughter with her—the baby that was in her arms at the fair; and this
girl knows nothing of me beyond that I am some sort of relation by marriage.
She has grown up in the belief that the sailor to whom I made over her mother,
and who is now dead, was her father, and her mother’s husband. What her
mother has always felt, she and I together feel now—that we can’t
proclaim our disgrace to the girl by letting her know the truth. Now what would
you do?—I want your advice.”</p>
<p>“I think I’d run the risk, and tell her the truth. She’ll
forgive ye both.”</p>
<p>“Never!” said Henchard. “I am not going to let her know the
truth. Her mother and I be going to marry again; and it will not only help us
to keep our child’s respect, but it will be more proper. Susan looks upon
herself as the sailor’s widow, and won’t think o’ living with
me as formerly without another religious ceremony—and she’s
right.”</p>
<p>Farfrae thereupon said no more. The letter to the young Jersey woman was
carefully framed by him, and the interview ended, Henchard saying, as the
Scotchman left, “I feel it a great relief, Farfrae, to tell some friend
o’ this! You see now that the Mayor of Casterbridge is not so thriving in
his mind as it seems he might be from the state of his pocket.”</p>
<p>“I do. And I’m sorry for ye!” said Farfrae.</p>
<p>When he was gone Henchard copied the letter, and, enclosing a cheque, took it
to the post-office, from which he walked back thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“Can it be that it will go off so easily!” he said. “Poor
thing—God knows! Now then, to make amends to Susan!”</p>
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