<p>Meantime Akaky Akakiyevich went on in holiday mood. He was conscious every
second of the time that he had a new cloak on his shoulders, and several
times he laughed with internal satisfaction. In fact, there were two
advantages, one was its warmth, the other its beauty. He saw nothing of
the road, but suddenly found himself at the department. He took off his
cloak in the ante-room, looked it over carefully, and confided it to the
special care of the attendant. It is impossible to say precisely how it
was that every one in the department knew at once that Akaky Akakiyevich
had a new cloak, and that the “cape” no longer existed. All
rushed at the same moment into the ante-room to inspect it. They
congratulated him, and said pleasant things to him, so that he began at
first to smile, and then to grow ashamed. When all surrounded him, and
said that the new cloak must be “christened,” and that he must
at least give them all a party, Akaky Akakiyevich lost his head
completely, and did not know where he stood, what to answer, or how to get
out of it. He stood blushing all over for several minutes, trying to
assure them with great simplicity that it was not a new cloak, that it was
in fact the old “cape.”</p>
<p>At length one of the officials, assistant to the head clerk, in order to
show that he was not at all proud, and on good terms with his inferiors,
said:</p>
<p>“So be it, only I will give the party instead of Akaky Akakiyevich;
I invite you all to tea with me to-night. It just happens to be my
name-day too.”</p>
<p>The officials naturally at once offered the assistant clerk their
congratulations, and accepted the invitation with pleasure. Akaky
Akakiyevich would have declined; but all declared that it was
discourteous, that it was simply a sin and a shame, and that he could not
possibly refuse. Besides, the notion became pleasant to him when he
recollected that he should thereby have a chance of wearing his new cloak
in the evening also.</p>
<p>That whole day was truly a most triumphant festival for Akaky Akakiyevich.
He returned home in the most happy frame of mind, took off his cloak, and
hung it carefully on the wall, admiring afresh the cloth and the lining.
Then he brought out his old, worn-out cloak, for comparison. He looked at
it, and laughed, so vast was the difference. And long after dinner he
laughed again when the condition of the “cape” recurred to his
mind. He dined cheerfully, and after dinner wrote nothing, but took his
ease for a while on the bed, until it got dark. Then he dressed himself
leisurely, put on his cloak, and stepped out into the street.</p>
<p>Where the host lived, unfortunately we cannot say. Our memory begins to
fail us badly. The houses and streets in St. Petersburg have become so
mixed up in our head that it is very difficult to get anything out of it
again in proper form. This much is certain, that the official lived in the
best part of the city; and therefore it must have been anything but near
to Akaky Akakiyevich’s residence. Akaky Akakiyevich was first
obliged to traverse a kind of wilderness of deserted, dimly-lighted
streets. But in proportion as he approached the official’s quarter
of the city, the streets became more lively, more populous, and more
brilliantly illuminated. Pedestrians began to appear; handsomely dressed
ladies were more frequently encountered; the men had otter skin collars to
their coats; shabby sleigh-men with their wooden, railed sledges stuck
over with brass-headed nails, became rarer; whilst on the other hand, more
and more drivers in red velvet caps, lacquered sledges and bear-skin coats
began to appear, and carriages with rich hammer-cloths flew swiftly
through the streets, their wheels scrunching the snow.</p>
<p>Akaky Akakiyevich gazed upon all this as upon a novel sight. He had not
been in the streets during the evening for years. He halted out of
curiosity before a shop-window, to look at a picture representing a
handsome woman, who had thrown off her shoe, thereby baring her whole foot
in a very pretty way; whilst behind her the head of a man with whiskers
and a handsome moustache peeped through the doorway of another room. Akaky
Akakiyevich shook his head, and laughed, and then went on his way. Why did
he laugh? Either because he had met with a thing utterly unknown, but for
which every one cherishes, nevertheless, some sort of feeling, or else he
thought, like many officials, “Well, those French! What is to be
said? If they do go in for anything of that sort, why—” But
possibly he did not think at all.</p>
<p>Akaky Akakiyevich at length reached the house in which the head clerk’s
assistant lodged. He lived in fine style. The staircase was lit by a lamp,
his apartment being on the second floor. On entering the vestibule, Akaky
Akakiyevich beheld a whole row of goloshes on the floor. Among them, in
the centre of the room, stood a samovar, humming and emitting clouds of
steam. On the walls hung all sorts of coats and cloaks, among which there
were even some with beaver collars, or velvet facings. Beyond, the buzz of
conversation was audible, and became clear and loud, when the servant came
out with a trayful of empty glasses, cream-jugs and sugar-bowls. It was
evident that the officials had arrived long before, and had already
finished their first glass of tea.</p>
<p>Akaky Akakiyevich, having hung up his own cloak, entered the inner room.
Before him all at once appeared lights, officials, pipes, and card-tables,
and he was bewildered by a sound of rapid conversation rising from all the
tables, and the noise of moving chairs. He halted very awkwardly in the
middle of the room, wondering what he ought to do. But they had seen him.
They received him with a shout, and all thronged at once into the
ante-room, and there took another look at his cloak. Akaky Akakiyevich,
although somewhat confused, was frank-hearted, and could not refrain from
rejoicing when he saw how they praised his cloak. Then, of course, they
all dropped him and his cloak, and returned, as was proper, to the tables
set out for whist.</p>
<p>All this, the noise, the talk, and the throng of people, was rather
overwhelming to Akaky Akakiyevich. He simply did not know where he stood,
or where to put his hands, his feet, and his whole body. Finally he sat
down by the players, looked at the cards, gazed at the face of one and
another, and after a while began to gape, and to feel that it was
wearisome, the more so, as the hour was already long past when he usually
went to bed. He wanted to take leave of the host, but they would not let
him go, saying that he must not fail to drink a glass of champagne, in
honour of his new garment. In the course of an hour, supper, consisting of
vegetable salad, cold veal, pastry, confectioner’s pies, and
champagne, was served. They made Akaky Akakiyevich drink two glasses of
champagne, after which he felt things grow livelier.</p>
<p>Still, he could not forget that it was twelve o’clock, and that he
should have been at home long ago. In order that the host might not think
of some excuse for detaining him, he stole out of the room quickly, sought
out, in the ante-room, his cloak, which, to his sorrow, he found lying on
the floor, brushed it, picked off every speck upon it, put it on his
shoulders, and descended the stairs to the street.</p>
<p>In the street all was still bright. Some petty shops, those permanent
clubs of servants and all sorts of folks, were open. Others were shut,
but, nevertheless, showed a streak of light the whole length of the
door-crack, indicating that they were not yet free of company, and that
probably some domestics, male and female, were finishing their stories and
conversations, whilst leaving their masters in complete ignorance as to
their whereabouts. Akaky Akakiyevich went on in a happy frame of mind. He
even started to run, without knowing why, after some lady, who flew past
like a flash of lightning. But he stopped short, and went on very quietly
as before, wondering why he had quickened his pace. Soon there spread
before him these deserted streets which are not cheerful in the daytime,
to say nothing of the evening. Now they were even more dim and lonely.
The lanterns began to grow rarer, oil, evidently, had been less liberally
supplied. Then came wooden houses and fences. Not a soul anywhere; only
the snow sparkled in the streets, and mournfully veiled the low-roofed
cabins with their closed shutters. He approached the spot where the street
crossed a vast square with houses barely visible on its farther side, a
square which seemed a fearful desert.</p>
<p>Afar, a tiny spark glimmered from some watchman’s-box, which seemed
to stand on the edge of the world. Akaky Akakiyevich’s cheerfulness
diminished at this point in a marked degree. He entered the square, not
without an involuntary sensation of fear, as though his heart warned him
of some evil. He glanced back, and on both sides it was like a sea about
him. “No, it is better not to look,” he thought, and went on,
closing his eyes. When he opened them, to see whether he was near the end
of the square, he suddenly beheld, standing just before his very nose,
some bearded individuals of precisely what sort, he could not make out.
All grew dark before his eyes, and his heart throbbed.</p>
<p>“Of course, the cloak is mine!” said one of them in a loud
voice, seizing hold of his collar. Akaky Akakiyevich was about to shout
“Help!” when the second man thrust a fist, about the size of
an official’s head, at his very mouth, muttering, “Just you
dare to scream!”</p>
<p>Akaky Akakiyevich felt them strip off his cloak, and give him a kick. He
fell headlong upon the snow, and felt no more.</p>
<p>In a few minutes he recovered consciousness, and rose to his feet, but no
one was there. He felt that it was cold in the square, and that his cloak
was gone. He began to shout, but his voice did not appear to reach the
outskirts of the square. In despair, but without ceasing to shout, he
started at a run across the square, straight towards the watch-box, beside
which stood the watchman, leaning on his halberd, and apparently curious
to know what kind of a customer was running towards him shouting. Akaky
Akakiyevich ran up to him, and began in a sobbing voice to shout that he
was asleep, and attended to nothing, and did not see when a man was
robbed. The watchman replied that he had seen two men stop him in the
middle of the square, but supposed that they were friends of his, and
that, instead of scolding vainly, he had better go to the police on the
morrow, so that they might make a search for whoever had stolen the cloak.</p>
<p>Akaky Akakiyevich ran home and arrived in a state of complete disorder,
his hair which grew very thinly upon his temples and the back of his head
all tousled, his body, arms and legs, covered with snow. The old woman,
who was mistress of his lodgings, on hearing a terrible knocking, sprang
hastily from her bed, and, with only one shoe on, ran to open the door,
pressing the sleeve of her chemise to her bosom out of modesty. But when
she had opened it, she fell back on beholding Akaky Akakiyevich in such a
condition. When he told her about the affair, she clasped her hands, and
said that he must go straight to the district chief of police, for his
subordinate would turn up his nose, promise well, and drop the matter
there. The very best thing to do, therefore, would be to go to the
district chief, whom she knew, because Finnish Anna, her former cook, was
now nurse at his house. She often saw him passing the house, and he was at
church every Sunday, praying, but at the same time gazing cheerfully at
everybody; so that he must be a good man, judging from all appearances.
Having listened to this opinion, Akaky Akakiyevich betook himself sadly to
his room. And how he spent the night there, any one who can put himself in
another’s place may readily imagine.</p>
<p>Early in the morning, he presented himself at the district chief’s,
but was told the official was asleep. He went again at ten and was again
informed that he was asleep. At eleven, and they said, “The
superintendent is not at home.” At dinner time, and the clerks in
the ante-room would not admit him on any terms, and insisted upon knowing
his business. So that at last, for once in his life, Akaky Akakiyevich
felt an inclination to show some spirit, and said curtly that he must see
the chief in person, that they ought not to presume to refuse him
entrance, that he came from the department of justice, and that when he
complained of them, they would see.</p>
<p>The clerks dared make no reply to this, and one of them went to call the
chief, who listened to the strange story of the theft of the coat. Instead
of directing his attention to the principal points of the matter, he began
to question Akaky Akakiyevich. Why was he going home so late? Was he in
the habit of doing so, or had he been to some disorderly house? So that
Akaky Akakiyevich got thoroughly confused, and left him, without knowing
whether the affair of his cloak was in proper train or not.</p>
<p>All that day, for the first time in his life, he never went near the
department. The next day he made his appearance, very pale, and in his old
cape, which had become even more shabby. The news of the robbery of the
cloak touched many, although there were some officials present who never
lost an opportunity, even such a one as the present, of ridiculing Akaky
Akakiyevich. They decided to make a collection for him on the spot, but
the officials had already spent a great deal in subscribing for the
director’s portrait, and for some book, at the suggestion of the
head of that division, who was a friend of the author; and so the sum was
trifling.</p>
<p>One of them, moved by pity, resolved to help Akaky Akakiyevich with some
good advice, at least, and told him that he ought not to go to the police,
for although it might happen that a police-officer, wishing to win the
approval of his superiors, might hunt up the cloak by some means, still,
his cloak would remain in the possession of the police if he did not offer
legal proof that it belonged to him. The best thing for him, therefore,
would be to apply to a certain prominent personage; since this prominent
personage, by entering into relation with the proper persons, could
greatly expedite the matter.</p>
<p>As there was nothing else to be done, Akaky Akakiyevich decided to go to
the prominent personage. What was the exact official position of the
prominent personage, remains unknown to this day. The reader must know
that the prominent personage had but recently become a prominent
personage, having up to that time been only an insignificant person.
Moreover, his present position was not considered prominent in comparison
with others still more so. But there is always a circle of people to whom
what is insignificant in the eyes of others, is important enough.
Moreover, he strove to increase his importance by sundry devices. For
instance, he managed to have the inferior officials meet him on the
staircase when he entered upon his service; no one was to presume to come
directly to him, but the strictest etiquette must be observed; the
collegiate recorder must make a report to the government secretary, the
government secretary to the titular councillor, or whatever other man was
proper, and all business must come before him in this manner. In Holy
Russia, all is thus contaminated with the love of imitation; every man
imitates and copies his superior. They even say that a certain titular
councillor, when promoted to the head of some small separate office,
immediately partitioned off a private room for himself, called it the
audience chamber, and posted at the door a lackey with red collar and
braid, who grasped the handle of the door, and opened to all comers,
though the audience chamber would hardly hold an ordinary writing table.</p>
<p>The manners and customs of the prominent personage were grand and
imposing, but rather exaggerated. The main foundation of his system was
strictness. “Strictness, strictness, and always strictness!”
he generally said; and at the last word he looked significantly into the
face of the person to whom he spoke. But there was no necessity for this,
for the halfscore of subordinates, who formed the entire force of the
office, were properly afraid. On catching sight of him afar off, they left
their work, and waited, drawn up in line, until he had passed through the
room. His ordinary converse with his inferiors smacked of sternness, and
consisted chiefly of three phrases: “How dare you?” “Do
you know whom you are speaking to?” “Do you realise who is
standing before you?”</p>
<p>Otherwise he was a very kind-hearted man, good to his comrades, and ready
to oblige. But the rank of general threw him completely off his balance.
On receiving any one of that rank, he became confused, lost his way, as it
were, and never knew what to do. If he chanced to be amongst his equals,
he was still a very nice kind of man, a very good fellow in many respects,
and not stupid, but the very moment that he found himself in the society
of people but one rank lower than himself, he became silent. And his
situation aroused sympathy, the more so, as he felt himself that he might
have been making an incomparably better use of his time. In his eyes,
there was sometimes visible a desire to join some interesting conversation
or group, but he was kept back by the thought, “Would it not be a
very great condescension on his part? Would it not be familiar? And would
he not thereby lose his importance?” And in consequence of such
reflections, he always remained in the same dumb state, uttering from time
to time a few monosyllabic sounds, and thereby earning the name of the
most wearisome of men.</p>
<p>To this prominent personage Akaky Akakiyevich presented himself, and this
at the most unfavourable time for himself, though opportune for the
prominent personage. The prominent personage was in his cabinet,
conversing very gaily with an old acquaintance and companion of his
childhood, whom he had not seen for several years, and who had just
arrived, when it was announced to him that a person named Bashmachkin had
come. He asked abruptly, “Who is he?”—“Some
official,” he was informed. “Ah, he can wait! This is no time
for him to call,” said the important man.</p>
<p>It must be remarked here that the important man lied outrageously. He had
said all he had to say to his friend long before, and the conversation had
been interspersed for some time with very long pauses, during which they
merely slapped each other on the leg, and said, “You think so, Ivan
Abramovich!” “Just so, Stepan Varlamovich!”
Nevertheless, he ordered that the official should be kept waiting, in
order to show his friend, a man who had not been in the service for a long
time, but had lived at home in the country, how long officials had to wait
in his ante-room.</p>
<p>At length, having talked himself completely out, and more than that,
having had his fill of pauses, and smoked a cigar in a very comfortable
arm-chair with reclining back, he suddenly seemed to recollect, and said
to the secretary, who stood by the door with papers of reports, “So
it seems that there is an official waiting to see me. Tell him that he may
come in.” On perceiving Akaky Akakiyevich’s modest mien and
his worn uniform, he turned abruptly to him, and said, “What do you
want?” in a curt hard voice, which he had practised in his room in
private, and before the looking-glass, for a whole week before being
raised to his present rank.</p>
<p>Akaky Akakiyevich, who was already imbued with a due amount of fear,
became somewhat confused, and as well as his tongue would permit,
explained, with a rather more frequent addition than usual of the word
“that” that his cloak was quite new, and had been stolen in
the most inhuman manner; that he had applied to him, in order that he
might, in some way, by his intermediation—that he might enter into
correspondence with the chief of police, and find the cloak.</p>
<p>For some inexplicable reason, this conduct seemed familiar to the
prominent personage.</p>
<p>“What, my dear sir!” he said abruptly, “are you not
acquainted with etiquette? To whom have you come? Don’t you know how
such matters are managed? You should first have presented a petition to
the office. It would have gone to the head of the department, then to the
chief of the division, then it would have been handed over to the
secretary, and the secretary would have given it to me.”</p>
<p>“But, your excellency,” said Akaky Akakiyevich, trying to
collect his small handful of wits, and conscious at the same time that he
was perspiring terribly, “I, your excellency, presumed to trouble
you because secretaries—are an untrustworthy race.”</p>
<p>“What, what, what!” said the important personage. “Where
did you get such courage? Where did you get such ideas? What impudence
towards their chiefs and superiors has spread among the young generation!”
The prominent personage apparently had not observed that Akaky Akakiyevich
was already in the neighbourhood of fifty. If he could be called a young
man, it must have been in comparison with some one who was seventy.
“Do you know to whom you are speaking? Do you realise who is
standing before you? Do you realise it? Do you realise it, I ask you!”
Then he stamped his foot, and raised his voice to such a pitch that it
would have frightened even a different man from Akaky Akakiyevich.</p>
<p>Akaky Akakiyevich’s senses failed him. He staggered, trembled in
every limb, and, if the porters had not run in to support him, would have
fallen to the floor. They carried him out insensible. But the prominent
personage, gratified that the effect should have surpassed his
expectations, and quite intoxicated with the thought that his word could
even deprive a man of his senses, glanced sideways at his friend in order
to see how he looked upon this, and perceived, not without satisfaction,
that his friend was in a most uneasy frame of mind, and even beginning on
his part, to feel a trifle frightened.</p>
<p>Akaky Akakiyevich could not remember how he descended the stairs, and got
into the street. He felt neither his hands nor feet. Never in his life had
he been so rated by any high official, let alone a strange one. He went
staggering on through the snow-storm, which was blowing in the streets,
with his mouth wide open. The wind, in St. Petersburg fashion, darted upon
him from all quarters, and down every cross-street. In a twinkling it had
blown a quinsy into his throat, and he reached home unable to utter a
word. His throat was swollen, and he lay down on his bed. So powerful is
sometimes a good scolding!</p>
<p>The next day a violent fever developed. Thanks to the generous assistance
of the St. Petersburg climate, the malady progressed more rapidly than
could have been expected, and when the doctor arrived, he found, on
feeling the sick man’s pulse, that there was nothing to be done,
except to prescribe a poultice, so that the patient might not be left
entirely without the beneficent aid of medicine. But at the same time, he
predicted his end in thirty-six hours. After this he turned to the
landlady, and said, “And as for you, don’t waste your time on
him. Order his pine coffin now, for an oak one will be too expensive for
him.”</p>
<p>Did Akaky Akakiyevich hear these fatal words? And if he heard them, did
they produce any overwhelming effect upon him? Did he lament the
bitterness of his life?—We know not, for he continued in a delirious
condition. Visions incessantly appeared to him, each stranger than the
other. Now he saw Petrovich, and ordered him to make a cloak, with some
traps for robbers, who seemed to him to be always under the bed; and he
cried every moment to the landlady to pull one of them from under his
coverlet. Then he inquired why his old mantle hung before him when he had
a new cloak. Next he fancied that he was standing before the prominent
person, listening to a thorough setting-down and saying, “Forgive
me, your excellency!” but at last he began to curse, uttering the
most horrible words, so that his aged landlady crossed herself, never in
her life having heard anything of the kind from him, and more so as these
words followed directly after the words “your excellency.”
Later on he talked utter nonsense, of which nothing could be made, all
that was evident being that these incoherent words and thoughts hovered
ever about one thing, his cloak.</p>
<p>At length poor Akaky Akakiyevich breathed his last. They sealed up neither
his room nor his effects, because, in the first place, there were no
heirs, and, in the second, there was very little to inherit beyond a
bundle of goose-quills, a quire of white official paper, three pairs of
socks, two or three buttons which had burst off his trousers, and the
mantle already known to the reader. To whom all this fell, God knows. I
confess that the person who told me this tale took no interest in the
matter. They carried Akaky Akakiyevich out, and buried him.</p>
<p>And St. Petersburg was left without Akaky Akakiyevich, as though he had
never lived there. A being disappeared, who was protected by none, dear to
none, interesting to none, and who never even attracted to himself the
attention of those students of human nature who omit no opportunity of
thrusting a pin through a common fly and examining it under the
microscope. A being who bore meekly the jibes of the department, and went
to his grave without having done one unusual deed, but to whom,
nevertheless, at the close of his life, appeared a bright visitant in the
form of a cloak, which momentarily cheered his poor life, and upon him,
thereafter, an intolerable misfortune descended, just as it descends upon
the heads of the mighty of this world!</p>
<p>Several days after his death, the porter was sent from the department to
his lodgings, with an order for him to present himself there immediately,
the chief commanding it. But the porter had to return unsuccessful, with
the answer that he could not come; and to the question, “Why?”
replied, “Well, because he is dead! he was buried four days ago.”
In this manner did they hear of Akaky Akakiyevich’s death at the
department. And the next day a new official sat in his place, with a
handwriting by no means so upright, but more inclined and slanting.</p>
<p>But who could have imagined that this was not really the end of Akaky
Akakiyevich, that he was destined to raise a commotion after death, as if
in compensation for his utterly insignificant life? But so it happened,
and our poor story unexpectedly gains a fantastic ending.</p>
<p>A rumour suddenly spread through St. Petersburg, that a dead man had taken
to appearing on the Kalinkin Bridge, and its vicinity, at night in the
form of an official seeking a stolen cloak, and that, under the pretext of
its being the stolen cloak, he dragged, without regard to rank or calling,
every one’s cloak from his shoulders, be it cat-skin, beaver, fox,
bear, sable, in a word, every sort of fur and skin which men adopted for
their covering. One of the department officials saw the dead man with his
own eyes, and immediately recognised in him Akaky Akakiyevich. This,
however, inspired him with such terror, that he ran off with all his
might, and therefore did not scan the dead man closely, but only saw how
the latter threatened him from afar with his finger. Constant complaints
poured in from all quarters, that the backs and shoulders, not only of
titular but even of court councillors, were exposed to the danger of a
cold, on account of the frequent dragging off of their cloaks.</p>
<p>Arrangements were made by the police to catch the corpse, alive or dead,
at any cost, and punish him as an example to others, in the most severe
manner. In this they nearly succeeded, for a watchman, on guard in
Kirinshkin Lane, caught the corpse by the collar on the very scene of his
evil deeds, when attempting to pull off the frieze cloak of a retired
musician. Having seized him by the collar, he summoned, with a shout, two
of his comrades, whom he enjoined to hold him fast, while he himself felt
for a moment in his boot, in order to draw out his snuff-box, and refresh
his frozen nose. But the snuff was of a sort which even a corpse could not
endure. The watchman having closed his right nostril with his finger, had
no sooner succeeded in holding half a handful up to the left, than the
corpse sneezed so violently that he completely filled the eyes of all
three. While they raised their hands to wipe them, the dead man vanished
completely, so that they positively did not know whether they had actually
had him in their grip at all. Thereafter the watchmen conceived such a
terror of dead men that they were afraid even to seize the living, and
only screamed from a distance. “Hey, there! go your way!” So
the dead official began to appear even beyond the Kalinkin Bridge, causing
no little terror to all timid people.</p>
<p>But we have totally neglected that certain prominent personage who may
really be considered as the cause of the fantastic turn taken by this true
history. First of all, justice compels us to say, that after the departure
of poor, annihilated Akaky Akakiyevich, he felt something like remorse.
Suffering was unpleasant to him, for his heart was accessible to many good
impulses, in spite of the fact that his rank often prevented his showing
his true self. As soon as his friend had left his cabinet, he began to
think about poor Akaky Akakiyevich. And from that day forth, poor Akaky
Akakiyevich, who could not bear up under an official reprimand, recurred
to his mind almost every day. The thought troubled him to such an extent,
that a week later he even resolved to send an official to him, to learn
whether he really could assist him. And when it was reported to him that
Akaky Akakiyevich had died suddenly of fever, he was startled, hearkened
to the reproaches of his conscience, and was out of sorts for the whole
day.</p>
<p>Wishing to divert his mind in some way and drive away the disagreeable
impression, he set out that evening for one of his friends’ houses,
where he found quite a large party assembled. What was better, nearly
every one was of the same rank as himself, so that he need not feel in the
least constrained. This had a marvellous effect upon his mental state. He
grew expansive, made himself agreeable in conversation, in short, he
passed a delightful evening. After supper he drank a couple of glasses of
champagne—not a bad recipe for cheerfulness, as every one knows. The
champagne inclined him to various adventures, and he determined not to
return home, but to go and see a certain well-known lady, of German
extraction, Karolina Ivanovna, a lady, it appears, with whom he was on a
very friendly footing.</p>
<p>It must be mentioned that the prominent personage was no longer a young
man, but a good husband and respected father of a family. Two sons, one of
whom was already in the service, and a good-looking, sixteen-year-old
daughter, with a slightly arched but pretty little nose, came every
morning to kiss his hand and say, “<i>Bon jour</i>, papa.” His
wife, a still fresh and good-looking woman, first gave him her hand to
kiss, and then, reversing the procedure, kissed his. But the prominent
personage, though perfectly satisfied in his domestic relations,
considered it stylish to have a friend in another quarter of the city.
This friend was scarcely prettier or younger than his wife; but there are
such puzzles in the world, and it is not our place to judge them. So the
important personage descended the stairs, stepped into his sledge, said to
the coachman, “To Karolina Ivanovna’s,” and, wrapping
himself luxuriously in his warm cloak, found himself in that delightful
frame of mind than which a Russian can conceive nothing better, namely,
when you think of nothing yourself, yet when the thoughts creep into your
mind of their own accord, each more agreeable than the other, giving you
no trouble either to drive them away, or seek them. Fully satisfied, he
recalled all the gay features of the evening just passed and all the mots
which had made the little circle laugh. Many of them he repeated in a low
voice, and found them quite as funny as before; so it is not surprising
that he should laugh heartily at them. Occasionally, however, he was
interrupted by gusts of wind, which, coming suddenly, God knows whence or
why, cut his face, drove masses of snow into it, filled out his
cloak-collar like a sail, or suddenly blew it over his head with
supernatural force, and thus caused him constant trouble to disentangle
himself.</p>
<p>Suddenly the important personage felt some one clutch him firmly by the
collar. Turning round, he perceived a man of short stature, in an old,
worn uniform, and recognised, not without terror, Akaky Akakiyevich. The
official’s face was white as snow, and looked just like a corpse’s.
But the horror of the important personage transcended all bounds when he
saw the dead man’s mouth open, and heard it utter the following
remarks, while it breathed upon him the terrible odour of the grave:
“Ah, here you are at last! I have you, that—by the collar! I
need your cloak. You took no trouble about mine, but reprimanded me. So
now give up your own.”</p>
<p>The pallid prominent personage almost died of fright. Brave as he was in
the office and in the presence of inferiors generally, and although, at
the sight of his manly form and appearance, every one said, “Ugh!
how much character he has!” at this crisis, he, like many possessed
of an heroic exterior, experienced such terror, that, not without cause,
he began to fear an attack of illness. He flung his cloak hastily from his
shoulders and shouted to his coachman in an unnatural voice, “Home
at full speed!” The coachman, hearing the tone which is generally
employed at critical moments, and even accompanied by something much more
tangible, drew his head down between his shoulders in case of an
emergency, flourished his whip, and flew on like an arrow. In a little
more than six minutes the prominent personage was at the entrance of his
own house. Pale, thoroughly scared, and cloakless, he went home instead of
to Karolina Ivanovna’s, reached his room somehow or other, and
passed the night in the direst distress; so that the next morning over
their tea, his daughter said, “You are very pale to-day, papa.”
But papa remained silent, and said not a word to any one of what had
happened to him, where he had been, or where he had intended to go.</p>
<p>This occurrence made a deep impression upon him. He even began to say,
“How dare you? Do you realise who is standing before you?”
less frequently to the under-officials, and, if he did utter the words, it
was only after first having learned the bearings of the matter. But the
most noteworthy point was, that from that day forward the apparition of
the dead official ceased to be seen. Evidently the prominent personage’s
cloak just fitted his shoulders. At all events, no more instances of his
dragging cloaks from people’s shoulders were heard of. But many
active and solicitous persons could by no means reassure themselves, and
asserted that the dead official still showed himself in distant parts of
the city.</p>
<p>In fact, one watchman in Kolomen saw with his own eyes the apparition come
from behind a house. But the watchman was not a strong man, so he was
afraid to arrest him, and followed him in the dark, until, at length, the
apparition looked round, paused, and inquired, “What do you want?”
at the same time showing such a fist as is never seen on living men. The
watchman said, “Nothing,” and turned back instantly. But the
apparition was much too tall, wore huge moustaches, and, directing its
steps apparently towards the Obukhov Bridge, disappeared in the darkness
of the night.</p>
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