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Shadow of a Man

<h2>VI</h2> BELOW ZERO "May I come in?" It was her brother at Moya's door, and he began to believe she must be asleep after all. Theodore felt aggrieved; he wanted speech with Moya before he went to bed. He was about to knock again when the door was opened without a word. There was no light in the room. Yet the girl stood fully dressed in the last level rays of the moon. And she had been crying. "Moya!" "What do you want?" "Only to speak to you." "What about?" "Yourself, to begin with. What's the trouble, my dear girl?" He had entered in spite of her, and yet she was not really sorry that he had come.[Pg 68] She had suffered so much in silence that it would be relief to speak about anything to anybody. Theodore was the last person in whom she could or would confide. But there was something comfortable in his presence just there and then. She could tell him a little, if she could not tell him all; and he could tell her something in return. She heard him at his match-box, and shut the door herself as he lit the candles. "Don't speak loud, then," said Moya. "I—I'd rather they didn't hear us—putting our heads together." "No fear. We've got the main building to ourselves, you and I. Rather considerate of Rigden, that." Indeed it was the best parlour that had been prepared for Moya, for in your southern summers the best parlour of all is the shadiest verandah. Theodore took to the sofa and a cigarette. "Do you mind?" he said. "Then do please tell me what's the matter with you, Moya!" "Oh, can't you see? I'm so unhappy!"[Pg 69] Her eyes had filled, but his next words dried them. "Had a row with Rigden?" And he was leaning forward without his cigarette. Moya hated him. "Is that all that occurs to you?" she asked cuttingly. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, I'm sure! I should have thought even you could have seen there was enough to make one unhappy, without the consummation you so devoutly——" "Good, Moya! That's all right," said her brother, as he might have complimented her across the net at lawn-tennis. "It's quite unpleasant enough," continued Moya, with spirit, "without your making it worse. The police in possession, and a runaway convict goodness knows where!" "I agree," said Theodore. "It is unpleasant. I wonder where the beggar can be?" "It's no use asking me," said Moya; for the note of interrogation had been in his voice.[Pg 70] "You didn't see any suspicious-looking loafers, I suppose? I mean this afternoon." "How could I? I was with Pelham all the time." She would never marry him, never! That was no reason why she should give him away. She would never marry a man with discreditable secrets which she might not share, not because they were discreditable, but for the other reason. Yet she must be a humbug for his sake! Moya felt a well-known eye upon her, felt her face bathed in fire; luckily her explanation itself might account for that, and she had the wit to see this in time. "I mean," she stammered, "one was on the verandah all the afternoon. Nobody could have come without our seeing them." "I don't know about that. Love is blind!" His tone carried relief to Moya. The irony was characteristic, normal. It struck her as incompatible with any strong suspicion. But the ground was dangerous all the same.[Pg 71] "If we are made uncomfortable," said Moya, shifting it, "what must it be for Pelham! It's on his account I feel so miserable." And she spoke the truth; indeed, a truism; but she would be still more miserable if she married him. She would never marry a man——the haunting sentence went for once unfinished. Theodore was favouring her with a peculiar scrutiny whose import she knew of old. She was on her guard just in time. "You haven't heard the latest development, I suppose?" "Has there been something fresh since I came away?" And even Theodore did not know that she was holding her breath. "Something as fresh as paint," said he dryly. "Rigden thinks he's got on the fellow's tracks." Moya had braced herself against any sudden betrayal of alarm; she was less proof against the inrush of a new contempt for her lover.[Pg 72] "You don't mean it!" she cried with indignation. "Why not?" asked Theodore blandly. "Oh, nothing. Only it's pretty disgraceful—on the part of the police, I mean—that they should spend hours looking for what a mere amateur finds at once!" The brother peeped at her from lowered lids. He was admiring her resource. "I agree," he said slowly, "if—our friend is right." "Whom do you mean?" inquired Moya, up in arms on the instant. "Rigden, of course." "So you think he may be mistaken about the tracks, do you?" "I think it's possible." "You know a lot about such things yourself, of course! You have a wide experience of the bush, haven't you? What do the police think?" "They're leaving it till the morning. They hope for the best." "So everybody is pleased except my brilliant brother! I want to know why—I want to know more about these tracks."[Pg 73] He told her more with unruffled mien; he rather enjoyed her sarcasm; it both justified and stimulated his own. Sarcasm he held to be the salt of intercourse. It was certainly a game at which two Bethunes could always play. "But we shall see in the morning," concluded Theodore. "The heathen is to be put upon the scent at dawn; if he passes it, well and good." "Meanwhile you don't?" "No, I'm hanged if I do," said Theodore, bluntly. "Because you haven't been to see?" Theodore smiled. "Because you wouldn't know a man's track from a monkey's if you went?" Theodore laughed. "Why drag in Darwin, my dear girl? No, I've not been to look, and yet I'm not convinced. I just have my doubts, and a reason or so for them; then I haven't your admirable ground of belief in the infallibility of our host's judgment. He may be mistaken. Mistakes do get made by moonlight. Let's put it at that."[Pg 74] But Moya knew that he was not putting it at that in his mind, and she made up hers to learn the worst of his suspicions. "If the tracks are not his, whose are they?" she demanded, as though it mattered. "If the creature is not somewhere about the run, where is he?" And this did matter. "If you ask me," said Theodore, with great gravity for him, "I should say that he was within a few yards of us all the time!" "A few yards?" "I should say," repeated Theodore, "that he was somewhere about the homestead, not the run. And you know perfectly well that you agree!" "I?" She jumped up in a fury. "How dare you say that to me? How dare you, Theodore?" "My dear Moya, I'm at a loss to understand you!" and his eyebrows underlined the words into largest capitals. "How on earth have I offended? I'm quite sure that you have the same suspicion—not to call it fear—that I entertain myself. If not,[Pg 75] why be in such a state? Why not go to bed and to sleep like a rational person? I confess I don't feel like doing so myself—with the chance of waking up to find an escaped criminal on your chest. I prefer to sit up and keep watch. I'm convinced he's somewhere about; all these huts afford far better cover than the open paddocks, bless you! He could easily have slipped among them without either of you seeing him, and the chances are he has." "If you think that," said Moya, "why didn't you suggest it?" "I did—to Rigden. Wouldn't listen to me; so, of course, I can't expect you to be so disloyal as to do so either." But Moya had no more of that kind of fight in her. "So you intend to sit up and watch?" was her sole rejoinder. "I do." "Then so do I!" Theodore looked dubious, but only for an instant. "You begin to think there may be something in my theory?" "I think there—may be."[Pg 76] "Then I'll tell you more!" exclaimed Theodore with decision: "I believe the fellow's over yonder in that store!" His eyes were waiting for her face to change. But it changed very little. Moya was beginning to wonder whether her terrible brother did not already know all. One moment she thought he did, the next that he did not; indifference was creeping over her with the long-drawn strain of the situation. What did it matter if he did know? It would make no difference between her and Pelham. That was at an end, in any case; all that was at an end for ever. Meanwhile she humoured Theodore just a little, particularly in the matter of her sitting up. He begged her not to do so, and she feigned consent. One of his objects in sitting up himself was to secure her safety. He might be wrong in all his conjectures, and Rigden might be right. Theodore was none the less virtuously determined not to give a chance away. "And if I am right I'll nab him the moment he shows his nose; and the credit will[Pg 77] belong to your humble brother. It isn't as if I hadn't mentioned my general ideas to Rigden; otherwise it might be rather much to take upon one's self; but as it is I have no scruples. If nothing happens, I've simply been sleeping on the verandah, because it's cooler there, and that long chair's as good as any bed. Do you mind doing something for me, Moya?" "What is it?" "My room's at the back, as you know; do you mind keeping a look-out while I go round and get into my pyjamas?" "No, I don't mind." "Particularly on the store, you know." "Yes, I know." "If anything happens come straight to me, but as quietly as possible." "Very well." "I mean if you see anybody." "Yes." "But I shan't be many minutes." And he was gone. At last! Moya flung herself upon the bed, and lay for a few seconds with closed eyes. Her[Pg 78] forehead was wondrous white; the fine eyebrows and the long lashes seemed suddenly to have gone black; the girl was fainting under the triple strain of fear and shame and outraged love. Yes, she was in love, but she would never marry him. Never! It was the irony of her fate to love a man whom she would rather die than marry, after this! Yet she loved him none the less; that was the last humiliation of women whom she had scorned all her days for this very thing, only to become one of them in the end. But she at least would never marry the man she loved and yet despised. That would be the only difference, yet a fairly essential one. And now her strength was renewed with her resolve, so that she was up and doing within the few seconds aforesaid; her first act was to blow out the candle; her next, to open the door an inch and to take her stand at the opening. Nor was she much too soon. It was as though Rigden had been only waiting for her light to go out. Within a minute he appeared in the sandy space between the[Pg 79] main building and the store. He was again wearing the yellow silk dust-coat of which enough has been heard; it was almost all that could be seen of him in the real darkness which had fallen with the setting of the moon. Moya heard his key in the heavy door opposite. Should she tell him of Theodore's suspicions, or should she not? While she hesitated, he let himself in, took out the key, and once more locked the door behind him. Next moment a thread of light appeared upon the threshold; and, too late, Moya repented her indecision. Theodore would return, and then—— But for once he was singularly slow; minute followed minute, and there was neither sign nor sound of him. And presently the store door opened once more; the figure in the dust-coat emerged as it had entered; and vanished as it had appeared, in the direction of the horse-yard. Once more the door was shut; but, once more, that thread of incriminating light[Pg 80] burnt like a red-hot wire beneath. And this time Moya could not see it burn: the red-hot wire had entered her soul. Theodore had been so long, he might be longer; risk it she must, and take the consequences. Two steps carried her across the verandah; lighter she had never taken in a ball-room, where her reputation was that of a feather. Once in the kindly sand, however, she ran desperately, madly, to the horse-yard. And she was just in time to hear the dying beat of a horse's canter into infinity. Then she must inform the wretch himself, the runaway ruffian in the store! One sob came, and then this quick resolve. She gained the store, panting; and instinctively tried the door before knocking. To her amazement and alarm it was open. She stood confounded on the threshold, and a head bending over the desk, under the lamp, behind the counter, was suddenly transformed into a face. And it was not the runaway at all; it was Rigden himself! "I saw you come out!" she gasped, past recrimination, past anger, past memory itself in the semi-insensibility of over-whelming[Pg 81] surprise. He looked at her very gravely across the desk. "No, that was the man who has wrecked my life," he said. "I've got him through them at last, I do believe." And his eyes flashed their unworthy triumph. "You could actually give him your horse!" "I wish I could. It would be missed in a minute. No, he's only just to run the gauntlet on it, and I shall find it at the first gate. But what is it, Moya? You came for something?" and he was a miserable man once more. "I'm ashamed to say why I came—but I will!" cried Moya in a low voice. "I did not want you to be found out through my own brother. He suspected the man was in here—I don't know why. He was going to watch the store all night, and I was watching it for him while he changed, and the light under the door——" Rigden held up his hand. "Hush!" he said. "Here is your brother."[Pg 82] Theodore was more than decent; he was positively gorgeous in striped and tasselled silk. He stood in the doorway with expressive eyebrows and eloquent nostrils, looking from Moya to Rigden until his gaze settled upon the latter. It was almost an innocuous gaze by then. "So it was you in here," he said. Rigden nodded. "Do you know who I was ass enough to think it was?" continued Theodore, using a word which Moya had never heard him apply to himself before, even in fun. "Has Moya told you?" "She has." "I saw the light," said Moya, in elliptical explanation. Theodore continued to address his host. "I oughtn't to have interfered," he said, with a humility which was already arousing Moya's suspicions. "I should have minded my own business, Rigden, and I apologise. I'd got it into my head—I can't tell you why. Will you forgive me? And have you any more whisky?" "I've nothing to forgive," said Rigden,[Pg 83] sincerely enough. "But a drink we'll have; that's an excellent idea!" But the counter was between them, and Theodore was the first to leave the store; but on the threshold he stopped, and just turned to Moya for an instant. "By the way, you didn't see anybody else, I suppose?" said he. There was an instant's pause. Then Moya committed her sin. "Of course I didn't," were the words. Theodore strolled over to the verandah. Moya waited behind as in devotion while Rigden locked that fatal door for the last time. "You see what you've brought me to!" she hissed. "But don't think it's because I care a bit what happens to you—once I'm gone. And I hate you for it—and I always shall!" "Thank you," he said. And that was all. <hr style="width: 65%;" />[Pg 84] <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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