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<h1> BLOTTENTOTS<br/> <span class="s08">AND HOW TO MAKE THEM</span> </h1>
<p class="center b15 p2">
BY<br/>
JOHN PROSPER CARMEL</p>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem b13"><div class="stanza">
<p>O, I AM PRINCE OF THE INKY IMPS</p>
<p class="i1">
AND KING OF THE BLOTTENTOT CREW;</p>
<p>MY ANCESTREE HAS A PEDIGREE</p>
<p class="i1">
OF A ROYAL PURPLISH HUE.</p>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<p>ONCE MY LOT WAS A DARK BLUE SPOT</p>
<p class="i1">
FLIPPED ON A MILK-WHITE SEA,</p>
<p>A CREASE AND A FOLD—AND A BUCCANEER BOLD</p>
<p class="i1">
OUT JUMPED—AND THAT WAS ME!</p>
</div>
</div></div>
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<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem">
<div class="stanza">
<p>If you've never made a</p>
<p class="i1">Blottentot</p>
<p>This book will help you</p>
<p class="i1"> quite a lot!</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p class="center p2 b13">
PAUL ELDER AND COMPANY<br/>
SAN FRANCISCO AND NEW YORK</p>
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<p class="caption">Copyright, 1907,<br/>
by Paul Elder &<br/>
Company.</p>
<p class="caption">
Entered at<br/>
Stationers' Hall,<br/>
London.</p>
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</div>
<p class="caption">These were
made for Dymphna</p>
<p></p>
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</div>
<h2> HOW TO MAKE BLOTTENTOTS </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>To make a funny Blottentot,</p>
<p class="i1">
First take a piece of paper,</p>
<p>Splash on some ink, a single spot,</p>
<p class="i1">
Crease, press, but cut no caper.</p>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<p>Don't crease exactly at the blot—</p>
<p class="i1">
You'll have a fearful muddle;</p>
<p>Press gently, too, and not a lot,</p>
<p class="i1">
Unless you want a puddle.</p>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<p>With everything we humans do,</p>
<p class="i1">
Practice makes us apter:</p>
<p>So start at once, you'll find it true</p>
<p class="i1">
At the end of your first chapter.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> A FLIT-FLIT FLITTER </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>In the realms of wonderland</p>
<p class="i1">
Such flies do gaily flitter,</p>
<p>But when they're just a blot of ink</p>
<p class="i1">
Of course they cannot glitter.</p>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<p>They flitter, flutter round about,</p>
<p class="i1">
These Flitter-Flitter-Flitters,</p>
<p>O'er dewy flow'ry sunny meads,</p>
<p class="i1">
The lightest, brightest critters.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> A GOBBLE-ME-UP </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Weedy, greedy Gobble-Me-Up,</p>
<p class="i1">
Your mouth is a fearful size.</p>
<p>Do you live on little girls and boys,</p>
<p class="i1">
Or merely cakes and pies?</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> TWO BUCKING NIGHTMARES </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Two bucking nightmares ran out to neigh,</p>
<p>Thinking it night, but found it day,</p>
<p>So took to their heels in sore dismay,—</p>
<p>I'm 'fraid they still are running away.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> STRANGE BUT TRUE </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Now it seems to be scarcely credible,</p>
<p class="i1">
A difficult thing to think,</p>
<p>That such a strange grotesquerie</p>
<p class="i1">
Was pressed from a drop of ink.</p>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<p>But word for word I tell you,</p>
<p class="i1">
As true as word can be,</p>
<p>That in its making there was naught</p>
<p class="i1">
But the blindest chancerie.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> LAW-MAKERS </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Tom and Johnny Make-the-law,</p>
<p class="i1">
Talkative and lazy,</p>
<p>Standing on a Thingumajig</p>
<p class="i1">
Comical and crazy.</p>
<p>You are just a pair of Imps,</p>
<p>With but one leg that badly limps.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> MISTRESS NELL </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p class="i1">
Gadzooks, Nell Gwynne!</p>
<p class="i1">
How did you get in?</p>
<p>Did you walk or were you brought</p>
<p class="i2">in your chair?</p>
<p class="i1">
Your dress is perfection</p>
<p class="i1">
To the smallest section</p>
<p>Of stomacher, quilting and hair.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> A PROFESSIONAL TIFF </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Said Dr. Spindleshanks,</p>
<p>"I'll stand no silly pranks!"</p>
<p>"You're nothing but a prig!"</p>
<p>Said Dr. Funnywig.</p>
<p>Then, making each a face,</p>
<p>They went off at a pace.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> SAFE AT A DISTANCE </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p class="i1">
You big Bugaboo!</p>
<p class="i1">
We didn't want you,</p>
<p>But really now that you've come,</p>
<p class="i1">
If you keep far away</p>
<p class="i1">
We'll permit you to stay,</p>
<p>Just as long you keep quite dumb.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> TEENY AND TINY </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Teeny and Tiny Pugnoses</p>
<p>Have discovered two beautiful roses,</p>
<p class="i1">
But the stems are so tall</p>
<p class="i1">
They can't reach them at all,</p>
<p>Though they stand on the tips</p>
<p class="i3">of their toeses.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> IMPISH </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>You can see by the look of this</p>
<p class="i3">
big-footed Sprite,</p>
<p class="i1">
That just the one thing that</p>
<p class="i3">
affords him delight</p>
<p>Is to give a high jump and land</p>
<p class="i3">
on your toe,</p>
<p class="i1">
On the very same spot where</p>
<p class="i3">
the biggest corns grow.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> A LITTLE GRASS MIDGET </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>This is a little grass Midget,</p>
<p>As you know a most terrible fidget.</p>
<p>For a month every year</p>
<p>He makes it quite clear</p>
<p>That he is a little grass Midget.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> SIAMESE TWINS? </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>I hope they're on pegs,</p>
<p>Because if they're legs,</p>
<p>They are altogether shocking.</p>
<p>They have no feet,</p>
<p>And almost meet,</p>
<p>And haven't the sign of a stocking.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> A KANGAR-ROOSTER-ROO </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Why, here's our dear old hopper,</p>
<p class="i1">
Our Kangar-rooster-roo!</p>
<p>And seeing he's such a whopper,</p>
<p class="i1">
I'll certainly not say "Shoo"!</p>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<p>Then there are two, you see,</p>
<p class="i1">
So I'd better hold my peace,</p>
<p>Or they may sit on me</p>
<p class="i1">
And leave me a crumpled crease.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> A SURPRISE </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>A Squidgeecumsquee</p>
<p class="i1">
Got up in a tree,</p>
<p>And found another—</p>
<p class="i1">
The fac simile.</p>
<p>"Oh dear! oh my!"</p>
<p class="i1">
He said jumping high,</p>
<p>"It's surely my brother—</p>
<p class="i1">
What a horrible guy!"</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> CONSIDERATE </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>"You jump over to me," said Sue.</p>
<p>"I wish you would come to me,"</p>
<p class="i2">
said Loo;</p>
<p>"As sure as I jump</p>
<p>I'll kick that stump,</p>
<p>So really I'd rather let you."</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> RISKY </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Now this is just the funniest rogue,</p>
<p class="i1">
A Brownie as black as ink,</p>
<p>And what he's doing perched up there,</p>
<p class="i1">
I'm sure I cannot think.</p>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<p>He's holding his arms like a pair of sails;</p>
<p class="i1">
Perhaps he's trying to fly.</p>
<p>Let's hope he won't be playing that game</p>
<p class="i1">
When you and I pass by.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> DOGGEREL </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Here are the strangest pair of dogs,</p>
<p class="i1">
What sort I cannot tell,</p>
<p>But judging by their noses sharp</p>
<p class="i1">
They have the sense of smell.</p>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<p>Their tails are very, very long,—</p>
<p class="i1">
But does it really matter?</p>
<p>By the very way they stare and start</p>
<p class="i1">
They're mad as any hatter.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> A WARNING </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Are these Quumps or Zagabogs,</p>
<p class="i1">
Golliwogs or Quees?</p>
<p>Anyhow, you'd best look out,—</p>
<p class="i1">
They're just about to sneeze!</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> THE LATEST DISCOVERY </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>I've just discovered a marvelous way</p>
<p class="i1">
Of making these Blottentots mottled and gray;</p>
<p>If you promise you never will show any one</p>
<p class="i1">
I'll tell you the secret of how it is done.</p>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<p>Take two bottles of ink, one thick and one thin,</p>
<p class="i1">
Of different blacks, and dip your pen in;</p>
<p>From each splash a drop at the very same spot,</p>
<p class="i1">
Then do as before, only pressing a lot.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> SORRY GRIGS </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>What makes these little Grigs so sad?</p>
<p class="i1">
They're standing most dejected.</p>
<p>Have they been up to something bad</p>
<p class="i1">
And in it got detected?</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> LANKY DOODLE </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Lanky Doodle came to town</p>
<p class="i1">
Without his little pony,</p>
<p>Stuck a feather in his hat</p>
<p class="i1">
With bits of macaroni.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> THE DANCE </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Jingle your bells and your tambourine</p>
<p>For just such a dance as you never have seen;</p>
<p>Such swishing of skirts, and glancing of feet,</p>
<p>Such bowing and parting, then running to meet;</p>
<p>So jingle your bells and your tambourine,</p>
<p>And keep them a-dancing from morning till e'en.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> LOOK OUT FOR HIM! </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>He's flying in the air,</p>
<p class="i1">
So you are safe and sound;</p>
<p>But you had better skip</p>
<p class="i1">
When he lights upon the ground.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> MACBETH<br/> <br/> Act I, Scene I. </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>"When shall we 'two' meet again—</p>
<p>In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"</p>
<p>"When the hurly-burly's done,</p>
<p>When the battle's lost and won."</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> PERPLEXING </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>A queer little wight,</p>
<p>Very strangely dight,</p>
<p>Looked so much like his brother,</p>
<p>That, believe me, it's true,</p>
<p>No one ever knew</p>
<p>How to tell one from t'other.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> MERELY ACCIDENTAL </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Such angular shapes</p>
<p>In such beautiful capes</p>
<p>Are the silliest contradiction,</p>
<p>But they simply "came,"</p>
<p>So I'm not to blame;</p>
<p>With Blottentots there's no restriction.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> BIRDS OF A FEATHER </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>"Now really it is shocking!" irately said</p>
<p class="i3">
Miss B,</p>
<p>"To think that you are mocking and</p>
<p class="i3">
making fun of me.</p>
<p>You have your wings and rufflings</p>
<p class="i3">
the very same as I,</p>
<p>So you need not turn your nose up,</p>
<p class="i3">
with a twinkle in your eye."</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> A DE-DUCK-TION </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Pluck</p>
<p>A duck</p>
<p>Of a wing.</p>
<p>Alack!</p>
<p>He'll quack,</p>
<p>And not sing.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> AN OVERSIGHT </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Two Rabbits met and shook hands one day</p>
<p>In the gravest possible kind of a way.</p>
<p>But what was the cause of their serious mien</p>
<p>From our picture is not very easily seen.</p>
<p>They'd been jollier far if they'd stopped to sup</p>
<p>The honeyed mead from the buttercup.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> QUITE THE THING </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Words fail</p>
<p>To detail,</p>
<p>I can only smile.</p>
<p>Your salute</p>
<p>Is cute</p>
<p>And just perfect style.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> QUAINT AND QUEER </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Quaint and Queer,</p>
<p>A funny pair,</p>
<p>The funniest you could see,</p>
<p>Met one day</p>
<p>In a strange array,</p>
<p>The strangest that could be.</p>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<p>Each stood and stared</p>
<p>As if he feared</p>
<p>That he would get a poke;</p>
<p>But laughed to find</p>
<p>The other kind,</p>
<p>And thought it all a joke.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
<p></p>
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<h2> FINIS </h2>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p>Before, I had some Cassowaries,</p>
<p class="i1">
Now I have two Dromedaries.</p>
<p>So just to leave some shapes for you,</p>
<p class="i1">
I'll doff my cap and say adieu.</p>
</div>
</div></div>
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