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Snarleyyow

<h2>Chapter XXII</h2> <h3>In which Snarleyyow proves to be the devil, and no mistake.</h3> That the corporal mystified his lieutenant, may easily be supposed; but the corporal had other work to do, and he did it immediately. He went up to Jemmy Ducks, who looked daggers at him, and said to him quietly, "That he had something to say to him as soon as it was dusk, and they would not be seen together." Vanslyperken ordered the corporal to resume his office, and serve out the provisions that afternoon: and to the astonishment of the men, he gave them not only full, but overweight; and instead of abusing them, and being cross, he was good-humoured, and joked with them; and all the crew stared at each other, and wondered what could be the matter with Corporal Van Spitter. But what was their amazement, upon Snarleyyow's coming up to him as he was serving out provisions, instead of receiving something from the hand of the corporal as usual, he, on the contrary, received a sound kick on the ribs from his foot which sent him yelping back into the cabin. Their astonishment could only be equalled by that of Snarleyyow himself. But that was not all; it appeared as if wonders would never cease, for when Smallbones came up to receive his master's provisions, after the others had been served and gone away, the corporal not only kindly received him, but actually presented him with a stiff glass of grog mixed with the corporal's own hand. When he offered it, the lad could not believe his eyes, and even when he had poured it down his throat, he would not believe his own mouth; and he ran away, leaving his provisions, chuckling along the lower deck till he could gain the forecastle, and add this astonishing piece of intelligence to the other facts, which were already the theme of admiration. "There be odd chops and changes in this here world, for sartin," observed Coble. (Exactly the same remark as we made at the end of the previous chapter.) "Mayn't it all be gammon?" said Bill Spurey. "Gammon, for why?" replied Jemmy Ducks. "That's the question," rejoined Spurey. "It appears to me that he must have had a touch of conscience," said Coble. "Or else he must have seen a ghost," replied Smallbones. "I've heard of ghosts ashore, and sometimes on board of a ship, but I never heard of a ghost in a jolly-boat," said Coble, spitting under the gun. "'Specially when there were hardly room for the corporal," added Spurey. "Yes," observed Short. "Well, we shall know something about it to-night, for the corporal and I am to have a palaver." "Mind he don't circumwent you, Jimmy," said Spurey. "It's my opinion," said Smallbones, "that he must be in real arnest, otherwise he would not ha' come for to go for to give me a glass of grog--there's no gammon in that;--and such a real stiff 'un too," continued Smallbones, who licked his lips at the bare remembrance of the unusual luxury. "True," said Short. "It beats my comprehension altogether out of nothing," observed Spurey. "There's something very queer in the wind. I wonder where the corporal has been all this while." "Wait till this evening," observed Jemmy Ducks; and, as this was very excellent advice, it was taken, and the parties separated. In the despatches it had been requested, as important negotiations were going on, that the cutter might return immediately, as there were other communications to make to the States General on the part of the King of England; and a messenger now informed Vanslyperken that he might sail as soon as he pleased, as there was no reply to the despatches he had conveyed. This was very agreeable to Vanslyperken, who was anxious to return to the fair widow at Portsmouth, and also to avoid the Frau Vandersloosh. At dusk, he manned his boat and went on shore to the French agent, who had also found out that the cutter was ordered to return, and had his despatches nearly ready. Vanslyperken waited about an hour; when all was complete he received them, and then returned on board. As soon as he had quitted the vessel, Corporal Van Spitter went to Jemmy Ducks, and without letting him know how matters stood on shore, told him that he was convinced that Vanslyperken had sent him into the boat on purpose to lose him, and that the reason was, that he, Van Spitter, knew secrets which would at any time hang the lieutenant. That in consequence he had determined upon revenge, and in future would be heart and hand with the ship's company, but that to secure their mutual object, it would be better that he should appear devoted to Vanslyperken as before, and at variance with the ship's company. Now Jemmy, who was with all his wits at work, knew that it was Smallbones who cut the corporal adrift; but that did not alter the case, as the corporal did not know it. It was therefore advisable to leave him in that error. But he required proofs of the corporal's sincerity, and he told him so. "Mein Gott! what proof will you have? De proof of de pudding is in de eating." "Well, then," replied Jemmy, "will you shy the dog overboard?" "Te tog?--in one minute--and de master after him." Whereupon Corporal Van Spitter went down into the cabin, which Vanslyperken, trusting to his surveillance, had left unlocked, and seizing the cur by the neck, carried him on deck, and hurled him several yards over the cutter's quarter. "Mein Gott! but dat is well done," observed Jansen. "And he'll not come back wid de tide. I know de tide, Mein Gott!" observed the corporal, panting with the exertion. But here the corporal was mistaken. Snarleyyow did not make for the vessel, but for the shore, and they could not in the dark ascertain what became of him, neither was the tide strong, for the flood was nearly over; the consequence was, that the dog gained the shore, and landed at the same stairs where the boats land. The men were not in the boat, but waiting at a beer-shop a little above, which Vanslyperken must pass when he came down again. Recognising the boat, the cur leapt into it, and after a good shaking under the thwarts, crept forward to where the men had thrown their pea-jackets under the bow-sheets, curled himself up, and went to sleep. Shortly afterwards the lieutenant came down with the men, and rowed on board but the dog, which, exhausted with his exertion, was very comfortable where he was, did not come out, but remained in his snug berth. The lieutenant and men left the boat when they arrived on board, without discovering that the dog was a passenger. About ten minutes after the lieutenant had come on board, Snarleyyow jumped on deck, but, as all the men were forward in close consultation, and in anticipation of Mr Vanslyperken's discovery of his loss, the dog gained the cabin, unperceived not only by the ship's company, but by Vanslyperken, who was busy locking up the letters entrusted to him by the French agent. Snarleyyow took his station under the table, and lay down to finish his nap, where we must leave him for the present in a sound sleep, and his snoring very soon reminded Vanslyperken of what he had, for a short time unheeded, that his favourite was present. "Well, it's very odd," observed Spurey, "that he has been on board nearly half-an-hour, and not discovered that his dog is absent without leave." "Yes," said Short. "I know for why, mein Gott!" exclaimed the corporal, who shook his head very knowingly. "The corporal knows why," observed Jemmy Ducks. "Then why don't he say why?" retorted Bill Spurey, who was still a little suspicious of the corporal's fidelity. "Because Mynheer Vanslyperken count his money de guineas," replied the corporal, writhing at the idea of what he had lost by his superior's interference. "Ho, ho! his money, well, that's a good reason, for he would skin a flint if he could," observed Coble; "but that can't last for ever." "That depends how often he may count it over," observed Jemmy Ducks--"but there's his bell;" and soon after Corporal Van Spitter's name was passed along the decks, to summon him into the presence of his commanding officer. "Now for a breeze," said Coble, hitching up his trousers. "Yes," replied Short. "For a regular shindy," observed Spurey. "Hell to pay and no pitch hot," added Jemmy, laughing; and they all remained in anxious expectation of the corporal's return. Corporal Van Spitter had entered the cabin with the air of the profoundest devotion and respect--had raised his hand up as usual, but before the hand had arrived to its destination, he beheld Vanslyperken seated on the locker, patting the head of Snarleyyow, as if nothing had happened. At this unexpected resuscitation, the corporal uttered a tremendous "Mein Gott!" and burst like a mad bull out of the cabin, sweeping down all who obstructed his passage on the lower deck, till he arrived to the fore-ladder, which he climbed up with tottering knees, and then sank down on the forecastle at the feet of Jemmy Ducks. "Mein Gott, mein Gott, mein Gott!" exclaimed the corporal, putting his hands to his eyes as if to shut out the horrid vision. "What the devil is the matter?" exclaimed Coble. "Ah! mein Gott, mein Gott!" As it was evident that something uncommon had happened, they all now crowded round the corporal, who, by degrees, recovered himself. "What is it, corporal?" inquired Jemmy Ducks. Before the corporal could reply, Smallbones, who had been summoned to the cabin on account of the corporal's unaccountable exit, sprang up the ladder with one bound, his hair flying in every direction, his eyes goggling, and his mouth wide open: lifting his hands over his head, and pausing as if for breath, the lad exclaimed with a solemn sepulchral voice, "By all the devils in hell he's come again!" "Who?" exclaimed several voices at once. "Snarleyyow," replied Smallbones, mournfully. "Yes--mein Gott!" exclaimed Corporal Van Spitter, attempting to rise on his legs. "Whew!" whistled Jemmy Ducks--but nobody else uttered a sound; they all looked at one another, some with compressed lips, others with mouths open. At last one shook his head--then another. The corporal rose on his feet and shook himself like an elephant. "Dat tog is de tyfel's imp, and dat's de end on it," said he, with alarm still painted on his countenance. "And is he really on board again?" inquired Coble, doubtingly. "As sartin as I stands on this here forecastle--a-kissing and slobbering the lieutenant for all the world like a Christian," replied Smallbones, despondingly. "Then he flare fire on me wid his one eye," said the corporal. "Warn't even wet," continued Smallbones. Here there was another summons for Corporal Van Spitter. "Mein Gott, I will not go," exclaimed the corporal. "Yes, yes, go, corporal," replied Smallbones; "it's the best way to face the devil." "Damn the devil!--and that's not swearing," exclaimed Short--such a long sentence out of his mouth was added to the marvels of the night--some even shrugged up their shoulders at that, as if it also were supernatural. "I always say so," said Jansen, "I always say so--no tog, no tog, after all." "No, no," replied Coble, shaking his head. Corporal Van Spitter was again summoned, but the corporal was restive as a rhinoceros. "Corporal," said Smallbones, who, since the glass of grog, was his sincere ally, and had quite forgotten and forgiven his treatment, "go down and see if you can't worm the truth out of him." "Ay, do, do!" exclaimed the rest. "Smallbones--Smallbones--wanted aft," was the next summons. "And here I go," exclaimed Smallbones. "I defy the devil and all his works--as we said on Sunday at the workhouse." "That lad's a prime bit of stuff," observed Spurey, "I will say that." "Yes," replied Short. In a few seconds Smallbones came hastily up the ladder. "Corporal, you must go to the cabin directly. He is in a devil of a rage--asked me why you wouldn't come--told him that you had seen something dreadful--didn't know what. Tell him you saw the devil at his elbow--see if it frightens him." "Yes, do," exclaimed the others. Corporal Van Spitter made up his mind; he pulled down the skirts of his jacket, descended the ladder, and walked aft into the cabin. At the sight of Snarleyyow the corporal turned pale--at the sight of the corporal, Mr Vanslyperken turned red. "What's the meaning of all this?" exclaimed Vanslyperken, in a rage. "What is all this about, corporal? Explain your conduct, sir. What made you rush out of the cabin in that strange manner?" "Mein Gott, Mynheer Vanslyperken, I came for orders but I no come keep company wid de tyfel." "With the devil!--what do you mean?" exclaimed Vanslyperken, alarmed. The corporal, perceiving that the lieutenant was frightened, then entered into a detail, that when he had entered the cabin he had seen the devil sitting behind Mr Vanslyperken, looking over his shoulder, and grinning with his great eyes, while he patted him over the back with his left hand and fondled the dog with his right. This invention of the corporal's, "whom Mr Vanslyperken considered as a stanch friend and incapable of treachery, had a great effect upon Mr Vanslyperken. It immediately rushed into his mind that he had attempted murder but a few days before, and that, that very day he had been a traitor to his country--quite sufficient for the devil to claim him as his own. "Corporal Van Spitter," exclaimed Vanslyperken with a look of horror, "are you really in earnest, or are you not in your senses--you really saw him?" "As true as I stand here," replied the corporal, who perceived his advantage. "Then the Lord be merciful to me a sinner!" exclaimed Vanslyperken, falling on his knees, at the moment forgetting the presence of the corporal, and then recollecting himself, he jumped up--"It is false, Corporal Van Spitter; false as you are yourself--confess," continued the lieutenant, seizing the corporal by the collar, "confess, that it is all a lie." "A lie," exclaimed the corporal, who now lost his courage, "a lie, Mynheer Vanslyperken! If it was not the tyfel himself it was one of his imps, I take my Bible oath." "One of his imps," exclaimed Vanslyperken; "it's a lie--an infamous lie, confess," continued he, shaking the corporal by the collar--"confess the truth." At this moment Snarleyyow considered that he had a right to be a party in the fray, so he bounded forward at the corporal, who, terrified at the supernatural beast, broke from Vanslyperken's grasp, and rushed out of the cabin, followed, however, the whole length of the lower deck by the dog, who snapped and bayed at him till he had gained the fore ladder. Once more did the corporal make his appearance on the forecastle, frightened and out of breath. "Mein Gott! de man is mad," exclaimed he, "and de tog is de tyfel himself." The corporal then narrated in broken English what had passed. For some time there was a confused whispering among the men; they considered the dog's reappearance on this occasion even more wonderful than on the former, for the men declared positively that he never came off in the boat, which, had he done, would have unravelled the whole mystery; and that a dog thrown overboard, and swept away by the tide should be discovered shortly after perfectly dry and comfortable, not only on board of the cutter, which he could not have got on board of, but also in his master's cabin, which he could not get into without being seen, proved at once that the animal was supernatural. No one was now hardy enough to deny it, and no one appeared to have the least idea of how to proceed except Smallbones, who, as we have shown, was as full of energy as he was deficient in fat. On all occasions of this kind the bravest becomes the best man and takes the lead, and Smallbones, who appeared more collected and less alarmed than the others, was now listened to with attention, and the crowd collected round him. "I don't care for him or for his dog either," exclaimed Smallbones, with a drawling intrepid tone; "that dog I'll settle the hash of some way or the other, if it be the devil's own cousin. I'll not come for to go to leave off now, that's sartain, as I am Peter Smallbones--I'se got a plan." "Let's hear Smallbones,--let's hear Smallbones!" exclaimed some of the men. Whereupon they all collected round the lad, who addressed the crew as follows. His audience, at first, crowded up close to him, but Smallbones, who could not talk without his arms, which were about as long and thin as a Pongo's are in proportion to his body, flapped and flapped as he discoursed, until he had cleared a little ring, and when in the height of his energy he threw them about like the arms of a windmill, every one kept at a respectable distance. "Well, now, I considers this, if so be as how the dog be a devil, and not a dog, I sees no reason for to come for to go for to be afraid; for ar'n't we all true Christians, and don't we all fear God and honour the king? I sartainly myself does consider that that ere dog could not a have cummed into this here vessel by any manner of means natural not by no means, 'cause it's very clear, that a dog if he be as he be a dog, can't do no more than other dogs can; and if he can do more than heither dog or man can, then he must be the devil, and not a dog--and so he is--that's sartain. But if so be as he is the devil, I say again, I don't care, 'cause I sees exactly how it is,--he be a devil, but he be only a sea-devil and not a shore-devil, and I'll tell you for why. Didn't he come on board some how no how in a gale of wind when he was called for? Didn't I sew him up in a bread-bag, and didn't he come back just as nothing had happened; and didn't the corporal launch him into a surge over the taffrail, and he comes back just as if nothing had happened? Well, then, one thing is clear; that his power be on the water, and no water will drown that ere imp, so it's no use trying no more in that way, for he be a sea-devil. But I thinks this: he goes on shore and he comes back with one of his impish eyes knocked out clean by somebody or another somehow or another, and, therefore, I argues that he have no power on shore not by no means; for if you can knock his eye out, you can knock his soul out of his body, by only knocking a little more to the purpose. Who ever heard of any one knocking out the devil's eye, or injuring him in any way?--No; because he have power by sea and by land: but this here be only a water-devil, and he may be killed on dry land. Now, that's just my opinion, and as soon as I gets him on shore, I means to try what I can do. I don't fear him, nor his master, nor anything else, 'cause I'm a Christian,  and was baptised Peter; and I tells you all, that be he a dog, or be he a devil, I'll have a shy at him as soon as I can, and if I don't, I hope I may be d--d, that's all." Such was the oration of Smallbones, which was remarkably well received. Everyone agreed with the soundness of his arguments, and admired his resolution, and as he had comprised in his speech all that could be said upon the subject, they broke up the conference, and everyone went down to his hammock. <hr style="width: 35%;"> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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