<h2><SPAN name="Chapter_XXXI"></SPAN>Chapter XXXI</h2>
<h3>In which Snarleyyow again triumphs over his enemies.</h3>
<br/>
<p>But we must return to the cabin, and state what took place
during this long absence of the commander, who had gone on shore
about three o'clock, and had given directions for his boat to be at
the Point at sunset. There had been a council of war held on the
forecastle, in which Corporal Van Spitter and Smallbones were the
most prominent; and the meeting was held to debate, whether they
should or should not make one more attempt to destroy the dog;
singular that the arguments and observations very nearly coincided
with those made use of by Vanslyperken and his mother, when they
debated how to get rid of Smallbones.</p>
<p>"Water won't touch him, I sees that," observed Smallbones.</p>
<p>"No. Mein Gott, dat was to trow time and de trouble away,"
replied the corporal.</p>
<p>"Hanging's just as natural a death for a cur," observed
Spurey.</p>
<p>"Yes," observed Short.</p>
<p>"I'm afeard that the rope's not laid that's to hang that
animal," observed Coble, shaking his head. "If water won't do, I'm
persuaded nothing will, for did not they use, in former days, to
lay all spirits in the Red Sea?"</p>
<p>"Yes," quoth Short.</p>
<p>"But he ban't a spirit yet," replied Smallbones; "he be flesh
and blood o' some sort. If I gets fairly rid of his body, d----n
his soul, I say, he may keep that and welcome."</p>
<p>"But then, you know, he'll haunt us just as much as ever--we
shall see him here just the same."</p>
<p>"A spirit is only a spirit," observed Smallbones; "he may live
in the cabin all day and night afore I care; but, d'ye see, there's
a great difference between the ghost of a dog, and the dog
himself."</p>
<p>"Why, if the beast ar'n't natural, I can't see much odds,"
observed Spurey.</p>
<p>"But I can feel 'em," replied Smallbones. "This here dog has
a-bitten me all to bits, but a ghost of a dog can't bite
anyhow."</p>
<p>"No," replied Short.</p>
<p>"And now, d'ye see, as Obadiah Coble has said as how spirits
must be laid, I think if we were to come for to go for to lay this
here hanimal in the cold hearth, he may perhaps not be able to get
up again."</p>
<p>"That's only a perhaps," observed Coble.</p>
<p>"Well, a perhaps is better than nothing at all," said the
lad.</p>
<p>"Yes," observed Short.</p>
<p>"That depends upon sarcumstances," observed Spurey. "What sort
of a breakfast would you make upon a perhaps?"</p>
<p>"A good one, perhaps," replied Smallbones, grinning at the
jingling of the words.</p>
<p>"Twenty dozen tyfels, Smallbones is in de right," observed
Jansen, who had taken no part in the previous conversation.
"Suppose you bury de dog, de dog body not get up again. Suppose he
will come, his soul come, leave him body behind him."</p>
<p>"That's exactly my notion of the thing," observed
Smallbones.</p>
<p>"Do you mean for to bury him alive?" inquired Spurey.</p>
<p>"Alive! Gott in himmel--no. I knock de brains out first, perry
afterwards."</p>
<p>"There's some sense in that, corporal."</p>
<p>"And the dog can't have much left anyhow, dog or devil, when his
brains are all out."</p>
<p>"No," quoth Short.</p>
<p>"But who is to do it?"</p>
<p>"Corporal and I," replied Smallbones; "we be agreed, ban't we,
corporal?"</p>
<p>"Mein Gott, yes!"</p>
<p>"And now I votes that we tries it off-hand; what's the use of
shilly-shally? I made a mortal vow that that 'ere dog and I won't
live together--there ban't room enough for us two."</p>
<p>"It's a wide world, nevertheless," observed Coble, hitching up
his trousers; "howsomever, I have nothing to say, but I wish you
luck; but if you kill that dog, I'm a bishop--that's all."</p>
<p>"And if I don't try for to do so, I am an harchbishop, that's
all," replied the gallant Smallbones. "Come along, corporal."</p>
<p>And here was to be beheld a novel scene. Smallbones followed in
obedience by his former persecutor and his superior officer; a bag
of bones--a reed--a lath--a scarecrow; like a pilot cutter ahead of
an Indiaman, followed in his wake by Corporal Van Spitter, weighing
twenty stone. How could this be? It was human nature. Smallbones
took the lead, because he was the more courageous of the two, and
the corporal following, proved he tacitly admitted it.</p>
<p>"He be a real bit of stuff, that 'ere Peter Smallbones," said
one of the men.</p>
<p>"I thinks he be a supernatural himself, for my part," rejoined
Spurey.</p>
<p>"At all events, he ar'n't afeard of him," said another.</p>
<p>"We shall see," replied Coble, squirting out his tobacco-juice
under the gun.</p>
<p>"Come, men, we must go to work now. Shall we, Mr Short?"</p>
<p>"Yes," replied the commanding officer, and the conference broke
up.</p>
<p>In the meantime the consultation was continued between
Smallbones and the corporal. The latter had received instruction to
take on shore Mr Vanslyperken's dirty linen to the washerwoman, and
of course, as a corporal, he was not obliged to carry it, and would
take Smallbones for that purpose. Then he could easily excuse
taking the dog on shore, upon the plea of taking care of it. It was
therefore so arranged; the dog would follow the corporal in the
absence of his master, but no one else. In a few minutes the
corporal, Smallbones, Snarleyyow, and a very small bundle of linen,
were in the boat, and shoved off with as many good wishes and as
much anxiety for their success, as probably Jason and his followers
received when they departed in search of the Golden Fleece.</p>
<p>The three parties kept in company, and passed through the town
of Portsmouth. The washerwoman lived outside the Lines, and there
they proceeded, Snarleyyow very much in spirits at being able to
eat the grass, which his health very much required. They walked on
until they arrived at a large elm-tree, on the side of the road,
which lay between two hedges and ditches.</p>
<p>"This will do," observed the corporal solemnly. "Mein Gott! I
wish it was over," continued he, wiping the perspiration from his
bull-forehead.</p>
<p>"How shall we kill him, corporal?" inquired Smallbones.</p>
<p>"Mein Gott! knock him head against de tree, I suppose."</p>
<p>"Yes, and bury him in the ditch. Here, dog--Snarleyyow--here,
dog," said Smallbones; "come, a poor doggy--come here."</p>
<p>But Snarleyyow was not to be coaxed by Smallbones; he suspected
treachery.</p>
<p>"He won't a-come to me, corporal, or I'd soon settle his hash,"
observed Smallbones.</p>
<p>The corporal had now got over a little panic which had seized
him. He called Snarleyyow, who came immediately. Oh! had he
imagined what the corporal was about to do, he might have died like
Cæsar, exclaiming, "Et tu Brute," which, in plain English
means, "and you--you brute."</p>
<p>The corporal, with a sort of desperation, laid hold of the dog
by the tail, drawing him back till he could swing him round. In a
second or two Snarleyyow was whirling round the corporal, who
turned with him, gradually approaching the trunk of the elm-tree,
till at last his head came in contact with it with a resounding
blow, and the dog fell senseless. "Try it again, corporal, let's
finish him." The corporal again swung round the inanimate body of
the dog; again, and again, and again, did the head come in contact
with the hard wood; and then the corporal, quite out of breath with
the exertion, dropped the body on the grass. Neither of them spoke
a word for some time, but watched the body, as it lay motionless,
doubled up, with the fore and hind feet meeting each other, and the
one eye closed.</p>
<p>"Well, I've a notion that he is done for, anyhow," said
Smallbones, "at last."</p>
<p>"Mein Gott, yes!" replied the corporal. "He never get on his
legs again, be he tog or be he tyfel."</p>
<p>"Now for to come for to go for to bury him," said Smallbones,
swinging the dog by the tail, and dragging him towards the ditch.
"I wonder if we could get a spade anywhere, corporal."</p>
<p>"Mein Gott! if we ask for a spade they will ask what for, and
Vanslyperken may find it all out."</p>
<p>"Then I'll bury him and cover him up, anyhow; he'll not come to
life again, if he does may I be knocked on the head like him,
that's all." Smallbones dragged the body into the ditch, and
collecting out of the other parts of the ditch a great quantity of
wet leaves, covered the body a foot deep. "There, they won't find
him now, because they won't know where to look for him. I say,
corporal, I've a notion we had better not be seen here too
long."</p>
<p>"No," said the corporal, wiping his forehead, putting his
handkerchief in his cap, and his cap on his head; "we must go
now."</p>
<p>They went to the washerwoman's, delivered the bundle, and then
returned on board, when the whole crew were informed of the success
of the expedition, and appeared quite satisfied that there was an
end of the detested cur; all but Coble, who shook his head.</p>
<p>"We shall see," says he; "but I'm blessed if I don't expect the
cur back to-morrow morning."</p>
<p>We must now return to Vanslyperken, who left the public-house in
a state of consternation. "How could she possibly know anything
about it?" exclaimed he. "My life in the power of that she-devil"
And Vanslyperken walked on, turning over the affair in his mind. "I
have gone too far to retreat now. I must either go on, or fly the
country. Fly, where? What a fool have I been!" but then
Vanslyperken thought of the money. "No, no, not a fool, but I am
very unfortunate." Vanslyperken continued his route, until it at
last occurred <i>to</i> him that he would go to the Jew Lazarus,
and speak with him; for, thought Vanslyperken, if all is
discovered, they may think that I have informed, and then my life
will be sought by both parties. Vanslyperken arrived at the Jew's
abode, knocked softly, but received no answer: he knocked again,
louder; a bustle and confusion was heard inside, and at last the
door, with the chain fixed, was opened a couple of inches, and the
Jew stammered out, "Wot vash there at this late hour of the
night?"</p>
<p>"It is me, the lieutenant of the cutter," replied Vanslyperken.
"I must speak with you directly."</p>
<p>The door was opened, several figures, and the clatter of arms,
were heard in the dark passage, and as soon as Vanslyperken had
entered it was relocked, and he was left in the dark.</p>
<p>In a minute the Jew, in a woollen wrapper, made his appearance
with a light, and led Vanslyperken into the room where he had been
shown before.</p>
<p>"Now then, Mishter Leeftenant, vat vash de matter?"</p>
<p>"We are discovered, I'm afraid!" exclaimed Vanslyperken.</p>
<p>"Holy father Abraham!" exclaimed the Jew, starting back. "But
tell me vy you shay sho."</p>
<p>"A woman told me this night that she knew why I came to your
house--that I was in her power."</p>
<p>"Vat woman?"</p>
<p>"A hell-cat, who hates me as she does the devil."</p>
<p>"A hell-cat vould not hate de divil," slowly observed the
Jew.</p>
<p>"Well, perhaps not; but she will ruin me if she can."</p>
<p>"Vat vash her name?" said Lazarus.</p>
<p>"Moggy Salisbury."</p>
<p>"Paah! is dat all? vy, my good friend, she is one of us. Dere,
you may go vay--you may go to bed, Mr Vanslyperken."</p>
<p>"What do you mean?"</p>
<p>"I mean dat she laughed at you, and frighten you--dat she is one
of us, and so is her husband, who vas in your chip. Ven you hang,
she and I vill all hang together; now you comprehend?"</p>
<p>"Yes," replied Vanslyperken, "I do now: but how could you trust
such people?"</p>
<p>"Trust such people, Mr Vanslyperken? If you prove as true as
those peoples, vy all de bitter; now go avay--go to bed--you have
vaked up all the peoples here. Good night, Mr Leeftenant;" and the
Jew led the way to the door, and let Vanslyperken out.</p>
<p>"So then," thought Vanslyperken, as he pursued his way down to
the Point, "that woman and her husband are--damnation, but I've a
great mind to discover all, if it's only to hang them." But on
second thoughts, Vanslyperken thought that it was not worth while
to be hanged himself, just for the pleasure of hanging others. It
was a great relief to his mind to know that there was no fear of
discovery. The tip of his nose itched, and he rubbed it
mechanically; the rubbing brought away all the skin. He remembered
the hot poker--the money he had been forced to pay--his being made
to sing and to beg pardon on his knees; and he cursed Moggy in his
heart, the more so, as he felt that he dare not take any steps
against her.</p>
<p>When he came to the Point, he stood on the shingle, looking for
his boat, but the men had waited till twelve o'clock, and then
presuming that their commander did not intend to come at all that
night, had pulled on board again. He was looking round for a
waterman to pull him off, when something cold touched his hand.
Vanslyperken started, and almost screamed with fear. He looked, and
it was the cold nose of Snarleyyow, who now leaped upon his
master.</p>
<p>"Snarleyyow, my poor dog! how came you on shore?"</p>
<p>But the dog not being able to speak, made no answer.</p>
<p>While Vanslyperken was wondering how the dog could possibly have
come on shore, and what Corporal Van Spitter could be about to have
allowed it, the small casement of a garret window near him was
opened, and a head was thrust out.</p>
<p>"Do you want to go on board, sir?" said a tremulous voice.</p>
<p>"Yes," replied Vanslyperken.</p>
<p>"I will be down directly, sir," replied the old boatman, who in
a minute or two appeared with his sculls on his shoulder.</p>
<p>"Not easy to find a boat at this time of the morning, sir," said
the man; "but I heard you speaking, for I've had such a toothache
these two nights that I can't shut my eyes."</p>
<p>The old man unlocked the chain which fastened his wherry, and in
a few minutes Vanslyperken was on the deck of the cutter, but he
found there was no one to receive him,--no watch kept.</p>
<p>"Very well," thought he, "we'll talk about this to-morrow
morning. Short or Coble, I wonder which of the two--pretty neglect
of duty, indeed--report to the admiral, by heavens!"</p>
<p>So saying, Mr Vanslyperken, with Snarleyyow at his heels, went
down into the cabin--undressed in the dark, for he would not let
anyone know that he was on board. It being about three o'clock in
the morning, and Mr Vanslyperken being well tired with the events
of the day, he was soon in a sound sleep. There will be no
difficulty in accounting for the return of the dog, which had a
skull much thicker than even the corporal's. He had been stunned
with the heavy blows, but not killed. After a certain time he came
to himself in his bed of leaves, first scratched with one paw, and
then with another, till his senses returned: he rose, worked his
way out, and lay down to sleep. After he had taken a long nap, he
rose recovered, shook himself, and trotted down to the beach, but
the boat had shoved off, and the cur had remained there waiting for
an opportunity to get on board, when his master came down with the
same object in view.</p>
<p>But as every soul is fast asleep, we shall now finish the
chapter.</p>
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