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Snarleyyow

<h2>Chapter XXXVI</h2> <h3>In which Mr Vanslyperken, although at fault, comes in for the brush.</h3> Vanslyperken having obtained his despatches from the States General, called at the house of Mynheer Krause, and received the letters of Ramsay, then, once more, the cutter's head was turned towards England. It may be as well to remind the reader, that it was in the month of January, sixteen hundred and ninety-nine, that we first introduced Mr Vanslyperken and his contemporaries to his notice, and that all the important events, which we have recorded, have taken place between that date and the month of May, which is now arrived. We think, indeed, that the peculiar merit of this work is its remarkable unity of time and place; for, be it observed, we intend to finish it long before the year is out, and our whole scene is, it may be said, laid in the channel, or between the channel and the Texel, which, considering it is an historical novel, is remarkable. Examine other productions of this nature, founded upon historical facts, like our own, and observe the difference. Read Scott, Bulwer, James, or Grattan, read their historical novels, and observe how they fly about from country to country, and from clime to clime. As the Scythians said to Alexander, their right arm extends to the east, and their left to the west, and the world can hardly contain them. And over how many years do they extend their pages? while our bantling is produced in the regular nine months, being the exact period of time which is required for my three volumes. It must, therefore, be allowed that in unity of time, and place and design, and adherence to facts, our historical novel is unique. We said that it was the month of May--not May coming in as she does sometimes in her caprice, pouting, and out of humour--but May all in smiles. The weather was warm, and the sea was smooth, and the men of the cutter had stowed away their pea-jackets, and had pulled off their fishermen's boots, and had substituted shoes. Mr Vanslyperken did not often appear on deck during the passage. He was very busy down below, and spread a piece of bunting across the skylight, so that no one could look down and see what he was about, and the cabin-door was almost always locked. What could Mr Vanslyperken be about? No one knew but Snarleyyow, and Snarleyyow could not or would not tell. The cutter anchored in her old berth, and Vanslyperken, as usual, went on shore, with his double set of despatches, which were duly delivered; and then Mr Vanslyperken went up the main street, and turned into a jeweller's shop. What could Mr Vanslyperken do there? Surely it was to purchase something for the widow Vandersloosh--a necklace or pair of ear-rings. No, it was not with that intention; but nevertheless, Mr Vanslyperken remained there for a long while, and then was seen to depart. Seen by whom? By Moggy Salisbury, who had observed his entering, and who could not imagine why; she, however, said nothing, but she marked the shop, and walked away. The next day, Mr Vanslyperken went on shore, to put into his mother's charge the money which he had received from Ramsay, and narrated all that had passed--how Smallbones had swallowed two-pennyworth of arsenic with no more effect upon him than one twinge in his stomach, and how he now fully believed that nothing would kill the boy. "Pshaw! child--phut!--nonsense!--nothing kill him?--had he been in my hands, old as they are, and shaking as they do, he would not have lived; no, no--nobody escapes me when I am determined. We'll talk about that, but not now, Cornelius; the weather has turned warm at last, and there is no need of fire. Go, child, the money is locked up safe, and I have my mood upon me--I may even do you a mischief." Vanslyperken, who knew that it was useless to remain after this hint, walked off and returned on board. As he pulled off, he passed a boat, apparently coming from the cutter, with Moggy Salisbury sitting in the stern-sheets. She waved her hand at him, and laughed ironically. "Impudent hussy!" thought Vanslyperken, as she passed, but he dared not say a word. He turned pale with rage, and turned his head away; but little did he imagine, at the time, what great cause he had of indignation. Moggy had been three hours on board of the cutter talking with the men, but more particularly with Smallbones and the corporal, with which two she had been in earnest conference for the first hour that she was on board. Moggy's animosity to Vanslyperken is well known, and she ridiculed the idea of Snarleyyow being anything more than an uncommon lucky dog in escaping so often. Smallbones was of her opinion, and again declared his intention of doing the dog a mischief as soon as he could. Moggy, after her conference with these two, mixed with the ship's company, with whom she had always been a favourite, and the corporal proceeded to superintend the cutting up and the distribution of the fresh beef which had that morning come on board. The beef block was on the forecastle, where the major part of the crew, with Moggy, were assembled; Snarleyyow had always attended the corporal on these occasions, and was still the best of friends with him; for somehow or another, the dog had not seemed to consider the corporal a party to his brains being knocked out, but had put it all down to his natural enemy, Smallbones. The dog was, as usual, standing by the block close to the corporal, and picking up the fragments of beef which dropped from the chopper. "I vowed by gum, that I'd have that ere dog's tail off," observed Smallbones; "and if no one will peach, off it shall go now. And who cares? If I can't a kill him dead, I'll get rid of him by bits. There's one eye out already, and now I've a mind for his tail. Corporal, lend me the cleaver." "Bravo, Smallbones, we won't peach--not one of us." "I'm not sure of that," replied Moggy; "some won't, I know; but there are others who may, and then Smallbones will be keel-hauled as sure as fate, and Vanslyperken will have right on his side. No, no, Smallbones--you must not do it. Give me the cleaver, corporal, I'll do it; and anyone may tell him who pleases, when he comes on board. I don't care for him--and he knows it, corporal. Hand me the cleaver." "That's right, let Moggy do it," said the seamen. The corporal turned the dog round, so as to leave his tail on the block, and fed him with small pieces of meat, to keep him in the same position. "Are you all ready, Moggy?" said Smallbones. "Back him a little more on the block, corporal, for I won't leave him an inch if I can help it," said Moggy; "and stand farther back, all of you." Moggy raised the cleaver, took good aim--down it came upon the dog's tail, which was separated within an inch of its insertion, and was left bleeding on the block, while the dog sprang away aft, howling most terribly, and leaving a dotted line of blood to mark his course upon the deck. "There's a nice skewer-piece for anyone who fancies it," observed Moggy, looking at the dog's tail, and throwing down the cleaver. "I think Mr Vanslyperken has had enough now for trying to flog my Jemmy--my own duck of a husband." "Well," observed Coble, "seeing's believing; but, otherwise, I never should have thought it possible to have divided that ere dog's tail in that way." "He can't be much of a devil now," observed Bill Spurey; "for what's a devil without a tail? A devil is like a sarpent, whose sting is in his tail." "Yes," replied Short, who had looked on in silence. "But, I say, Moggy, perhaps it's as well for him not to find you on board." "What do I care?" replied Moggy. "He is more afraid of me than I of him; but, howsomever, it's just as well not to be here, as it may get others in trouble. Mind you say at once it was me--I defy him." Moggy then wished them good-bye, and quitted the cutter, when she was met, as we have already observed, by Vanslyperken. "Mein Gott! vat must be done now?" observed the corporal to those about him, looking at the mangy tail which still remained on the beef-block. "Done, corporal," replied Smallbones, "why, you must come for to go for to complain on it, as he comes on board. You must take the tail, and tell the tale, and purtend to be as angry and as sorry as himself, and damn her up in heaps. That's what must be done." This was not bad advice on the part of Smallbones--the ship's company agreed to it, and the corporal perceived the propriety of it. In the meantime, the dog had retreated to the cabin, and his howlings had gradually ceased; but he had left a track of blood along the deck, and down the ladder, which Dick Short perceiving, pointed to it, and cried out "Swabs." The men brought swabs aft, and had cleaned the deck and the ladder down to the cabin door, when Mr Vanslyperken came on board. "Has that woman been here?" inquired Mr Vanslyperken, as he came on deck. "Yes," replied Dick Short. "Did not I give positive orders that she should not?" cried Vanslyperken. "No," replied Dick Short. "Then I do now," continued the lieutenant. "Too late," observed Short, shrugging up his shoulders, and walking forward. "Too late! what does he mean?" said Vanslyperken, turning to Coble. "I knows nothing about it, sir," replied Coble. "She came for some of her husband's things that were left on board." Vanslyperken turned round to look for the corporal for explanation. There stood Corporal Van Spitter, perfectly erect, with a very melancholy face, one hand raised as usual to his cap, and the other occupied with the tail of Snarleyyow. "What is it? what is the matter, corporal?" "Mynheer Vanslyperken," replied the corporal, retaining his respectful attitude, "here is de tail." "Tail! what tail?" exclaimed Vanslyperken, casting his eyes upon the contents of the corporal's left hand. "Te tog's tail, mynheer," replied the corporal, gravely, "which de dam tog's wife--Moggy--" Vanslyperken stared; he could scarcely credit his eyesight, but there it was. For a time he could not speak for agitation; at last, with a tremendous oath, he darted into the cabin. What were his feelings when he beheld Snarleyyow lying in a corner tailless, with a puddle of blood behind him. "My poor, poor dog!" exclaimed Vanslyperken, covering up his face. His sorrow soon changed to rage--he invoked all the curses he could imagine upon Moggy's head--he vowed revenge--he stamped with rage--and then he patted Snarleyyow; and as the beast looked wistfully in his face, Vanslyperken shed tears. "My poor, poor dog! first your eye--and now your tail--what will your persecutors require next? Perdition seize them! may perdition be my portion if I am not revenged. Smallbones is at the bottom of all this; I can--I will be revenged on him." Vanslyperken rang the bell, and the corporal made his appearance with the dog's tail still in his hand. "Lay it down on the table, corporal," said Vanslyperken, mournfully, "and tell me how this happened." The corporal then entered into a long detail of the way in which the dog had been detailed--how he had been cutting up beef--and how while his back was turned, and Snarleyyow, as usual, was at the block, picking up the bits, Moggy Salisbury, who had been allowed to come on board by Mr Short, had caught up the cleaver and chopped off the dog's tail. "Was Smallbones at the block?" inquired Vanslyperken. "He was, mynheer," replied the corporal. "Who held the dog while his tail was chopped off?" inquired Vanslyperken, "some one must have held him." This was a home question; but the corporal replied, "Yes, mynheer, some one must have held the dog." "You did not hear who it was, or if it were Smallbones?" "I did not, mynheer," replied the corporal; "but," added he with a significant look, "I tink I could say." "Yes, yes, corporal, I know who you mean. It was him--I am sure--and as sure as I sit here I'll be revenged. Bring a swab, corporal, and wipe up all this blood. Do you think the poor animal will recover?" "Yes, mynheer; there be togs with tail and togs without tail." "But the loss of blood--what must be done to stop the bleeding?" "Dat d----n woman Moggy, when I say te tog die--tog bleed to death, she say, tell Mynheer Vanslyperken dat de best ting for cure de cur be de red hot poker." Here Vanslyperken stamped his feet and swore horribly. "She say, mynheer, it stop all de bleeding." "I wish she had a hot poker down her body," exclaimed Vanslyperken, bitterly. "Go for the swab, corporal, and send Smallbones here." Smallbones made his appearance. "Did you come for--to want me, sir?" "Yes, sir. I understand from the corporal that you held the dog while that woman cut off his tail." "If so be as how as the corporal says that ere," cried Smallbones, striking the palm of his left hand with his right fist, "why I am jiggered if he don't tell a lie as big as himself--that's all. That ere man is my mortal henemy; and if that ere dog gets into trouble I'm a sartain to be in trouble too. What should I cut the dog's tail off for, I should like for to know? I arn't so hungry as all that, any how." The idea of eating his dog's tail increased the choler of Mr Vanslyperken. With looks of malignant vengeance he ordered Smallbones out of the cabin. "Shall I shy this here overboard, sir?" said Smallbones, taking up the dog's tail, which lay on the table. "Drop it, sir," roared Vanslyperken. Smallbones walked away, grinning with delight, but his face was turned from Mr Vanslyperken. The corporal returned, swabbed up the blood, and reported that the bleeding had stopped. Mr Vanslyperken had no further orders for him--he wished to be left alone. He leaned his head upon his hand, and remained for some time in a melancholy reverie, with his eyes fixed upon the tail, which lay before him--that tail, now a "bleeding piece of earth," which never was to welcome him with a wag again. What passed in Vanslyperken's mind during this time, it would be too difficult and too long to repeat, for the mind flies over time and space with the rapidity of the lightning's flash. At last he rose, took up the dog's tail, put it into his pocket, went on deck, ordered his boat, and pulled on shore. <hr style="width: 35%;"> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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