<h2><SPAN name="Hoboes_That_Pass_in_the_Night" id="Hoboes_That_Pass_in_the_Night" /><i>Hoboes That Pass in the Night</i></h2>
<p>In the course of my tramping I encountered hundreds of hoboes, whom I
hailed or who hailed me, and with whom I waited at water-tanks,
"boiled-up," cooked "mulligans," "battered" the "drag" or "privates," and
beat trains, and who passed and were seen never again. On the other hand,
there were hoboes who passed and repassed with amazing frequency, and
others, still, who passed like ghosts, close at hand, unseen, and never
seen.</p>
<p>It was one of the latter that I chased clear across Canada over three
thousand miles of railroad, and never once did I lay eyes on him. His
"monica" was Skysail Jack. I first ran into it at Montreal. Carved with a
jack-knife was the skysail-yard of a ship. It was perfectly executed.
Under it was "Skysail Jack." Above was "B.W. 9-15-94." This latter
conveyed the information that he had passed through Montreal bound west,
on October 15, 1894. He had one day the start of me. "Sailor Jack" was my
monica at that particular time, and promptly I carved it alongside of his,
along with the date and the information that I, too, was bound west.</p>
<p>I had misfortune in getting over the next hundred miles, and eight days
later I picked up Skysail Jack's trail three hundred miles west of Ottawa.
There it was, carved on a water-tank, and by the date I saw that he
likewise had met with delay. He was only two days ahead of me. I was a
"comet" and "tramp-royal," so was Skysail Jack; and it was up to my pride
and reputation to catch up with him. I "railroaded" day and night, and I
passed him; then turn about he passed me. Sometimes he was a day or so
ahead, and sometimes I was. From hoboes, bound east, I got word of him
occasionally, when he happened to be ahead; and from them I learned that
he had become interested in Sailor Jack and was making inquiries about me.</p>
<p>We'd have made a precious pair, I am sure, if we'd ever got together; but
get together we couldn't. I kept ahead of him clear across Manitoba, but
he led the way across Alberta, and early one bitter gray morning, at the
end of a division just east of Kicking Horse Pass, I learned that he had
been seen the night before between Kicking Horse Pass and Rogers' Pass. It
was rather curious the way the information came to me. I had been riding
all night in a "side-door Pullman" (box-car), and nearly dead with cold
had crawled out at the division to beg for food. A freezing fog was
drifting past, and I "hit" some firemen I found in the round-house. They
fixed me up with the leavings from their lunch-pails, and in addition I
got out of them nearly a quart of heavenly "Java" (coffee). I heated the
latter, and, as I sat down to eat, a freight pulled in from the west. I
saw a side-door open and a road-kid climb out. Through the drifting fog he
limped over to me. He was stiff with cold, his lips blue. I shared my Java
and grub with him, learned about Skysail Jack, and then learned about him.
Behold, he was from my own town, Oakland, California, and he was a member
of the celebrated Boo Gang—a gang with which I had affiliated at rare
intervals. We talked fast and bolted the grub in the half-hour that
followed. Then my freight pulled out, and I was on it, bound west on the
trail of Skysail Jack.</p>
<p>I was delayed between the passes, went two days without food, and walked
eleven miles on the third day before I got any, and yet I succeeded in
passing Skysail Jack along the Fraser River in British Columbia. I was
riding "passengers" then and making time; but he must have been riding
passengers, too, and with more luck or skill than I, for he got into
Mission ahead of me.</p>
<p>Now Mission was a junction, forty miles east of Vancouver. From the
junction one could proceed south through Washington and Oregon over the
Northern Pacific. I wondered which way Skysail Jack would go, for I
thought I was ahead of him. As for myself I was still bound west to
Vancouver. I proceeded to the water-tank to leave that information, and
there, freshly carved, with that day's date upon it, was Skysail Jack's
monica. I hurried on into Vancouver. But he was gone. He had taken ship
immediately and was still flying west on his world-adventure. Truly,
Skysail Jack, you were a tramp-royal, and your mate was the "wind that
tramps the world." I take off my hat to you. You were
"blowed-in-the-glass" all right. A week later I, too, got my ship, and on
board the steamship Umatilla, in the forecastle, was working my way down
the coast to San Francisco. Skysail Jack and Sailor Jack—gee! if we'd
ever got together.</p>
<p>Water-tanks are tramp directories. Not all in idle wantonness do tramps
carve their monicas, dates, and courses. Often and often have I met hoboes
earnestly inquiring if I had seen anywhere such and such a "stiff" or his
monica. And more than once I have been able to give the monica of recent
date, the water-tank, and the direction in which he was then bound. And
promptly the hobo to whom I gave the information lit out after his pal. I
have met hoboes who, in trying to catch a pal, had pursued clear across
the continent and back again, and were still going.</p>
<p>"Monicas" are the nom-de-rails that hoboes assume or accept when thrust
upon them by their fellows. Leary Joe, for instance, was timid, and was so
named by his fellows. No self-respecting hobo would select Stew Bum for
himself. Very few tramps care to remember their pasts during which they
ignobly worked, so monicas based upon trades are very rare, though I
remember having met the following: Moulder Blackey, Painter Red, Chi
Plumber, Boiler-Maker, Sailor Boy, and Printer Bo. "Chi" (pronounced shy),
by the way, is the argot for "Chicago."</p>
<p>A favorite device of hoboes is to base their monicas on the localities
from which they hail, as: New York Tommy, Pacific Slim, Buffalo Smithy,
Canton Tim, Pittsburg Jack, Syracuse Shine, Troy Mickey, K.L. Bill, and
Connecticut Jimmy. Then there was "Slim Jim from Vinegar Hill, who never
worked and never will." A "shine" is always a negro, so called, possibly,
from the high lights on his countenance. Texas Shine or Toledo Shine
convey both race and nativity.</p>
<p>Among those that incorporated their race, I recollect the following:
Frisco Sheeny, New York Irish, Michigan French, English Jack, Cockney Kid,
and Milwaukee Dutch. Others seem to take their monicas in part from the
color-schemes stamped upon them at birth, such as: Chi Whitey, New Jersey
Red, Boston Blackey, Seattle Browney, and Yellow Dick and Yellow
Belly—the last a Creole from Mississippi, who, I suspect, had his monica
thrust upon him.</p>
<p>Texas Royal, Happy Joe, Bust Connors, Burley Bo, Tornado Blackey, and
Touch McCall used more imagination in rechristening themselves. Others,
with less fancy, carry the names of their physical peculiarities, such as:
Vancouver Slim, Detroit Shorty, Ohio Fatty, Long Jack, Big Jim, Little
Joe, New York Blink, Chi Nosey, and Broken-backed Ben.</p>
<p>By themselves come the road-kids, sporting an infinite variety of monicas.
For example, the following, whom here and there I have encountered: Buck
Kid, Blind Kid, Midget Kid, Holy Kid, Bat Kid, Swift Kid, Cookey Kid,
Monkey Kid, Iowa Kid, Corduroy Kid, Orator Kid (who could tell how it
happened), and Lippy Kid (who was insolent, depend upon it).</p>
<p>On the water-tank at San Marcial, New Mexico, a dozen years ago, was the
following hobo bill of fare:—</p>
<p class="blockquot">
(1) Main-drag fair.<br/>
(2) Bulls not hostile.<br/>
(3) Round-house good for kipping.<br/>
(4) North-bound trains no good.<br/>
(5) Privates no good.<br/>
(6) Restaurants good for cooks only.<br/>
(7) Railroad House good for night-work only.<br/></p>
<p>Number one conveys the information that begging for money on the main
street is fair; number two, that the police will not bother hoboes; number
three, that one can sleep in the round-house. Number four, however, is
ambiguous. The north-bound trains may be no good to beat, and they may be
no good to beg. Number five means that the residences are not good to
beggars, and number six means that only hoboes that have been cooks can
get grub from the restaurants. Number seven bothers me. I cannot make out
whether the Railroad House is a good place for any hobo to beg at night,
or whether it is good only for hobo-cooks to beg at night, or whether any
hobo, cook or non-cook, can lend a hand at night, helping the cooks of the
Railroad House with their dirty work and getting something to eat in
payment.</p>
<p>But to return to the hoboes that pass in the night. I remember one I met
in California. He was a Swede, but he had lived so long in the United
States that one couldn't guess his nationality. He had to tell it on
himself. In fact, he had come to the United States when no more than a
baby. I ran into him first at the mountain town of Truckee. "Which way,
Bo?" was our greeting, and "Bound east" was the answer each of us gave.
Quite a bunch of "stiffs" tried to ride out the overland that night, and I
lost the Swede in the shuffle. Also, I lost the overland.</p>
<p>I arrived in Reno, Nevada, in a box-car that was promptly side-tracked. It
was a Sunday morning, and after I threw my feet for breakfast, I wandered
over to the Piute camp to watch the Indians gambling. And there stood the
Swede, hugely interested. Of course we got together. He was the only
acquaintance I had in that region, and I was his only acquaintance. We
rushed together like a couple of dissatisfied hermits, and together we
spent the day, threw our feet for dinner, and late in the afternoon tried
to "nail" the same freight. But he was ditched, and I rode her out alone,
to be ditched myself in the desert twenty miles beyond.</p>
<p>Of all desolate places, the one at which I was ditched was the limit. It
was called a flag-station, and it consisted of a shanty dumped
inconsequentially into the sand and sagebrush. A chill wind was blowing,
night was coming on, and the solitary telegraph operator who lived in the
shanty was afraid of me. I knew that neither grub nor bed could I get out
of him. It was because of his manifest fear of me that I did not believe
him when he told me that east-bound trains never stopped there. Besides,
hadn't I been thrown off of an east-bound train right at that very spot
not five minutes before? He assured me that it had stopped under orders,
and that a year might go by before another was stopped under orders. He
advised me that it was only a dozen or fifteen miles on to Wadsworth and
that I'd better hike. I elected to wait, however, and I had the pleasure
of seeing two west-bound freights go by without stopping, and one
east-bound freight. I wondered if the Swede was on the latter. It was up
to me to hit the ties to Wadsworth, and hit them I did, much to the
telegraph operator's relief, for I neglected to burn his shanty and murder
him. Telegraph operators have much to be thankful for. At the end of half
a dozen miles, I had to get off the ties and let the east-bound overland
go by. She was going fast, but I caught sight of a dim form on the first
"blind" that looked like the Swede.</p>
<p>That was the last I saw of him for weary days. I hit the high places
across those hundreds of miles of Nevada desert, riding the overlands at
night, for speed, and in the day-time riding in box-cars and getting my
sleep. It was early in the year, and it was cold in those upland pastures.
Snow lay here and there on the level, all the mountains were shrouded in
white, and at night the most miserable wind imaginable blew off from them.
It was not a land in which to linger. And remember, gentle reader, the
hobo goes through such a land, without shelter, without money, begging his
way and sleeping at night without blankets. This last is something that
can be realized only by experience.</p>
<p>In the early evening I came down to the depot at Ogden. The overland of
the Union Pacific was pulling east, and I was bent on making connections.
Out in the tangle of tracks ahead of the engine I encountered a figure
slouching through the gloom. It was the Swede. We shook hands like
long-lost brothers, and discovered that our hands were gloved. "Where'd ye
glahm 'em?" I asked. "Out of an engine-cab," he answered; "and where did
you?" "They belonged to a fireman," said I; "he was careless."</p>
<p>We caught the blind as the overland pulled out, and mighty cold we found
it. The way led up a narrow gorge between snow-covered mountains, and we
shivered and shook and exchanged confidences about how we had covered the
ground between Reno and Ogden. I had closed my eyes for only an hour or so
the previous night, and the blind was not comfortable enough to suit me
for a snooze. At a stop, I went forward to the engine. We had on a
"double-header" (two engines) to take us over the grade.</p>
<p>The pilot of the head engine, because it "punched the wind," I knew would
be too cold; so I selected the pilot of the second engine, which was
sheltered by the first engine. I stepped on the cowcatcher and found the
pilot occupied. In the darkness I felt out the form of a young boy. He was
sound asleep. By squeezing, there was room for two on the pilot, and I
made the boy budge over and crawled up beside him. It was a "good" night;
the "shacks" (brakemen) didn't bother us, and in no time we were asleep.
Once in a while hot cinders or heavy jolts aroused me, when I snuggled
closer to the boy and dozed off to the coughing of the engines and the
screeching of the wheels.</p>
<p>The overland made Evanston, Wyoming, and went no farther. A wreck ahead
blocked the line. The dead engineer had been brought in, and his body
attested the peril of the way. A tramp, also, had been killed, but his
body had not been brought in. I talked with the boy. He was thirteen years
old. He had run away from his folks in some place in Oregon, and was
heading east to his grandmother. He had a tale of cruel treatment in the
home he had left that rang true; besides, there was no need for him to lie
to me, a nameless hobo on the track.</p>
<p>And that boy was going some, too. He couldn't cover the ground fast
enough. When the division superintendents decided to send the overland
back over the way it had come, then up on a cross "jerk" to the Oregon
Short Line, and back along that road to tap the Union Pacific the other
side of the wreck, that boy climbed upon the pilot and said he was going
to stay with it. This was too much for the Swede and me. It meant
travelling the rest of that frigid night in order to gain no more than a
dozen miles or so. We said we'd wait till the wreck was cleared away, and
in the meantime get a good sleep.</p>
<p>Now it is no snap to strike a strange town, broke, at midnight, in cold
weather, and find a place to sleep. The Swede hadn't a penny. My total
assets consisted of two dimes and a nickel. From some of the town boys we
learned that beer was five cents, and that the saloons kept open all
night. There was our meat. Two glasses of beer would cost ten cents, there
would be a stove and chairs, and we could sleep it out till morning. We
headed for the lights of a saloon, walking briskly, the snow crunching
under our feet, a chill little wind blowing through us.</p>
<p>Alas, I had misunderstood the town boys. Beer was five cents in one saloon
only in the whole burg, and we didn't strike that saloon. But the one we
entered was all right. A blessed stove was roaring white-hot; there were
cosey, cane-bottomed arm-chairs, and a none-too-pleasant-looking barkeeper
who glared suspiciously at us as we came in. A man cannot spend continuous
days and nights in his clothes, beating trains, fighting soot and
cinders, and sleeping anywhere, and maintain a good "front." Our fronts
were decidedly against us; but what did we care? I had the price in my
jeans.</p>
<p>"Two beers," said I nonchalantly to the barkeeper, and while he drew them,
the Swede and I leaned against the bar and yearned secretly for the
arm-chairs by the stove.</p>
<p>The barkeeper set the two foaming glasses before us, and with pride I
deposited the ten cents. Now I was dead game. As soon as I learned my
error in the price I'd have dug up another ten cents. Never mind if it did
leave me only a nickel to my name, a stranger in a strange land. I'd have
paid it all right. But that barkeeper never gave me a chance. As soon as
his eyes spotted the dime I had laid down, he seized the two glasses, one
in each hand, and dumped the beer into the sink behind the bar. At the
same time, glaring at us malevolently, he said:—</p>
<p>"You've got scabs on your nose. You've got scabs on your nose. You've got
scabs on your nose. See!"</p>
<p>I hadn't either, and neither had the Swede. Our noses were all right. The
direct bearing of his words was beyond our comprehension, but the indirect
bearing was clear as print: he didn't like our looks, and beer was
evidently ten cents a glass.</p>
<p>I dug down and laid another dime on the bar, remarking carelessly, "Oh, I
thought this was a five-cent joint."</p>
<p>"Your money's no good here," he answered, shoving the two dimes across the
bar to me.</p>
<p>Sadly I dropped them back into my pocket, sadly we yearned toward the
blessed stove and the arm-chairs, and sadly we went out the door into the
frosty night.</p>
<p>But as we went out the door, the barkeeper, still glaring, called after
us, "You've got scabs on your nose, see!"</p>
<p>I have seen much of the world since then, journeyed among strange lands
and peoples, opened many books, sat in many lecture-halls; but to this
day, though I have pondered long and deep, I have been unable to divine
the meaning in the cryptic utterance of that barkeeper in Evanston,
Wyoming. Our noses <i>were</i> all right.</p>
<p>We slept that night over the boilers in an electric-lighting plant. How we
discovered that "kipping" place I can't remember. We must have just headed
for it, instinctively, as horses head for water or carrier-pigeons head
for the home-cote. But it was a night not pleasant to remember. A dozen
hoboes were ahead of us on top the boilers, and it was too hot for all of
us. To complete our misery, the engineer would not let us stand around
down below. He gave us our choice of the boilers or the outside snow.</p>
<p>"You said you wanted to sleep, and so, damn you, sleep," said he to me,
when, frantic and beaten out by the heat, I came down into the fire-room.</p>
<p>"Water," I gasped, wiping the sweat from my eyes, "water."</p>
<p>He pointed out of doors and assured me that down there somewhere in the
blackness I'd find the river. I started for the river, got lost in the
dark, fell into two or three drifts, gave it up, and returned half-frozen
to the top of the boilers. When I had thawed out, I was thirstier than
ever. Around me the hoboes were moaning, groaning, sobbing, sighing,
gasping, panting, rolling and tossing and floundering heavily in their
torment. We were so many lost souls toasting on a griddle in hell, and the
engineer, Satan Incarnate, gave us the sole alternative of freezing in the
outer cold. The Swede sat up and anathematized passionately the wanderlust
in man that sent him tramping and suffering hardships such as that.</p>
<p>"When I get back to Chicago," he perorated, "I'm going to get a job and
stick to it till hell freezes over. Then I'll go tramping again."</p>
<p>And, such is the irony of fate, next day, when the wreck ahead was
cleared, the Swede and I pulled out of Evanston in the ice-boxes of an
"orange special," a fast freight laden with fruit from sunny California.
Of course, the ice-boxes were empty on account of the cold weather, but
that didn't make them any warmer for us. We entered them through hatchways
in the top of the car; the boxes were constructed of galvanized iron, and
in that biting weather were not pleasant to the touch. We lay there,
shivered and shook, and with chattering teeth held a council wherein we
decided that we'd stay by the ice-boxes day and night till we got out of
the inhospitable plateau region and down into the Mississippi Valley.</p>
<p>But we must eat, and we decided that at the next division we would throw
our feet for grub and make a rush back to our ice-boxes. We arrived in the
town of Green River late in the afternoon, but too early for supper.
Before meal-time is the worst time for "battering" back-doors; but we put
on our nerve, swung off the side-ladders as the freight pulled into the
yards, and made a run for the houses. We were quickly separated; but we
had agreed to meet in the ice-boxes. I had bad luck at first; but in the
end, with a couple of "hand-outs" poked into my shirt, I chased for the
train. It was pulling out and going fast. The particular refrigerator-car
in which we were to meet had already gone by, and half a dozen cars down
the train from it I swung on to the side-ladders, went up on top
hurriedly, and dropped down into an ice-box.</p>
<p>But a shack had seen me from the caboose, and at the next stop a few miles
farther on, Rock Springs, the shack stuck his head into my box and said:
"Hit the grit, you son of a toad! Hit the grit!" Also he grabbed me by the
heels and dragged me out. I hit the grit all right, and the orange special
and the Swede rolled on without me.</p>
<p>Snow was beginning to fall. A cold night was coming on. After dark I
hunted around in the railroad yards until I found an empty refrigerator
car. In I climbed—not into the ice-boxes, but into the car itself. I
swung the heavy doors shut, and their edges, covered with strips of
rubber, sealed the car air-tight. The walls were thick. There was no way
for the outside cold to get in. But the inside was just as cold as the
outside. How to raise the temperature was the problem. But trust a
"profesh" for that. Out of my pockets I dug up three or four newspapers.
These I burned, one at a time, on the floor of the car. The smoke rose to
the top. Not a bit of the heat could escape, and, comfortable and warm, I
passed a beautiful night. I didn't wake up once.</p>
<p>In the morning it was still snowing. While throwing my feet for breakfast,
I missed an east-bound freight. Later in the day I nailed two other
freights and was ditched from both of them. All afternoon no east-bound
trains went by. The snow was falling thicker than ever, but at twilight I
rode out on the first blind of the overland. As I swung aboard the blind
from one side, somebody swung aboard from the other. It was the boy who
had run away from Oregon.</p>
<p>Now the first blind of a fast train in a driving snow-storm is no summer
picnic. The wind goes right through one, strikes the front of the car, and
comes back again. At the first stop, darkness having come on, I went
forward and interviewed the fireman. I offered to "shove" coal to the end
of his run, which was Rawlins, and my offer was accepted. My work was out
on the tender, in the snow, breaking the lumps of coal with a sledge and
shovelling it forward to him in the cab. But as I did not have to work all
the time, I could come into the cab and warm up now and again.</p>
<p>"Say," I said to the fireman, at my first breathing spell, "there's a
little kid back there on the first blind. He's pretty cold."</p>
<p>The cabs on the Union Pacific engines are quite spacious, and we fitted
the kid into a warm nook in front of the high seat of the fireman, where
the kid promptly fell asleep. We arrived at Rawlins at midnight. The snow
was thicker than ever. Here the engine was to go into the round-house,
being replaced by a fresh engine. As the train came to a stop, I dropped
off the engine steps plump into the arms of a large man in a large
overcoat. He began asking me questions, and I promptly demanded who he
was. Just as promptly he informed me that he was the sheriff. I drew in my
horns and listened and answered.</p>
<p>He began describing the kid who was still asleep in the cab. I did some
quick thinking. Evidently the family was on the trail of the kid, and the
sheriff had received telegraphed instructions from Oregon. Yes, I had seen
the kid. I had met him first in Ogden. The date tallied with the sheriff's
information. But the kid was still behind somewhere, I explained, for he
had been ditched from that very overland that night when it pulled out of
Rock Springs. And all the time I was praying that the kid wouldn't wake
up, come down out of the cab, and put the "kibosh" on me.</p>
<p>The sheriff left me in order to interview the shacks, but before he left
he said:—</p>
<p>"Bo, this town is no place for you. Understand? You ride this train out,
and make no mistake about it. If I catch you after it's gone ..."</p>
<p>I assured him that it was not through desire that I was in his town; that
the only reason I was there was that the train had stopped there; and that
he wouldn't see me for smoke the way I'd get out of his darn town.</p>
<p>While he went to interview the shacks, I jumped back into the cab. The kid
was awake and rubbing his eyes. I told him the news and advised him to
ride the engine into the round-house. To cut the story short, the kid made
the same overland out, riding the pilot, with instructions to make an
appeal to the fireman at the first stop for permission to ride in the
engine. As for myself, I got ditched. The new fireman was young and not
yet lax enough to break the rules of the Company against having tramps in
the engine; so he turned down my offer to shove coal. I hope the kid
succeeded with him, for all night on the pilot in that blizzard would have
meant death.</p>
<p>Strange to say, I do not at this late day remember a detail of how I was
ditched at Rawlins. I remember watching the train as it was immediately
swallowed up in the snow-storm, and of heading for a saloon to warm up.
Here was light and warmth. Everything was in full blast and wide open.
Faro, roulette, craps, and poker tables were running, and some mad
cow-punchers were making the night merry. I had just succeeded in
fraternizing with them and was downing my first drink at their expense,
when a heavy hand descended on my shoulder. I looked around and sighed. It
was the sheriff.</p>
<p>Without a word he led me out into the snow.</p>
<p>"There's an orange special down there in the yards," said he.</p>
<p>"It's a damn cold night," said I.</p>
<p>"It pulls out in ten minutes," said he.</p>
<p>That was all. There was no discussion. And when that orange special pulled
out, I was in the ice-boxes. I thought my feet would freeze before
morning, and the last twenty miles into Laramie I stood upright in the
hatchway and danced up and down. The snow was too thick for the shacks to
see me, and I didn't care if they did.</p>
<p>My quarter of a dollar bought me a hot breakfast at Laramie, and
immediately afterward I was on board the blind baggage of an overland that
was climbing to the pass through the backbone of the Rockies. One does not
ride blind baggages in the daytime; but in this blizzard at the top of
the Rocky Mountains I doubted if the shacks would have the heart to put me
off. And they didn't. They made a practice of coming forward at every stop
to see if I was frozen yet.</p>
<p>At Ames' Monument, at the summit of the Rockies,—I forget the
altitude,—the shack came forward for the last time.</p>
<p>"Say, Bo," he said, "you see that freight side-tracked over there to let
us go by?"</p>
<p>I saw. It was on the next track, six feet away. A few feet more in that
storm and I could not have seen it.</p>
<p>"Well, the 'after-push' of Kelly's Army is in one of them cars. They've
got two feet of straw under them, and there's so many of them that they
keep the car warm."</p>
<p>His advice was good, and I followed it, prepared, however, if it was a
"con game" the shack had given me, to take the blind as the overland
pulled out. But it was straight goods. I found the car—a big refrigerator
car with the leeward door wide open for ventilation. Up I climbed and in.
I stepped on a man's leg, next on some other man's arm. The light was dim,
and all I could make out was arms and legs and bodies inextricably
confused. Never was there such a tangle of humanity. They were all lying
in the straw, and over, and under, and around one another. Eighty-four
husky hoboes take up a lot of room when they are stretched out. The men I
stepped on were resentful. Their bodies heaved under me like the waves of
the sea, and imparted an involuntary forward movement to me. I could not
find any straw to step upon, so I stepped upon more men. The resentment
increased, so did my forward movement. I lost my footing and sat down with
sharp abruptness. Unfortunately, it was on a man's head. The next moment
he had risen on his hands and knees in wrath, and I was flying through the
air. What goes up must come down, and I came down on another man's head.</p>
<p>What happened after that is very vague in my memory. It was like going
through a threshing-machine. I was bandied about from one end of the car
to the other. Those eighty-four hoboes winnowed me out till what little
was left of me, by some miracle, found a bit of straw to rest upon. I was
initiated, and into a jolly crowd. All the rest of that day we rode
through the blizzard, and to while the time away it was decided that each
man was to tell a story. It was stipulated that each story must be a good
one, and, furthermore, that it must be a story no one had ever heard
before. The penalty for failure was the threshing-machine. Nobody failed.
And I want to say right here that never in my life have I sat at so
marvellous a story-telling debauch. Here were eighty-four men from all the
world—I made eighty-five; and each man told a masterpiece. It had to be,
for it was either masterpiece or threshing-machine.</p>
<p>Late in the afternoon we arrived in Cheyenne. The blizzard was at its
height, and though the last meal of all of us had been breakfast, no man
cared to throw his feet for supper. All night we rolled on through the
storm, and next day found us down on the sweet plains of Nebraska and
still rolling. We were out of the storm and the mountains. The blessed sun
was shining over a smiling land, and we had eaten nothing for twenty-four
hours. We found out that the freight would arrive about noon at a town, if
I remember right, that was called Grand Island.</p>
<p>We took up a collection and sent a telegram to the authorities of that
town. The text of the message was that eighty-five healthy, hungry hoboes
would arrive about noon and that it would be a good idea to have dinner
ready for them. The authorities of Grand Island had two courses open to
them. They could feed us, or they could throw us in jail. In the latter
event they'd have to feed us anyway, and they decided wisely that one meal
would be the cheaper way.</p>
<p>When the freight rolled into Grand Island at noon, we were sitting on the
tops of the cars and dangling our legs in the sunshine. All the police in
the burg were on the reception committee. They marched us in squads to the
various hotels and restaurants, where dinners were spread for us. We had
been thirty-six hours without food, and we didn't have to be taught what
to do. After that we were marched back to the railroad station. The police
had thoughtfully compelled the freight to wait for us. She pulled out
slowly, and the eighty-five of us, strung out along the track, swarmed up
the side-ladders. We "captured" the train.</p>
<p>We had no supper that evening—at least the "push" didn't, but I did. Just
at supper time, as the freight was pulling out of a small town, a man
climbed into the car where I was playing pedro with three other stiffs.
The man's shirt was bulging suspiciously. In his hand he carried a
battered quart-measure from which arose steam. I smelled "Java." I turned
my cards over to one of the stiffs who was looking on, and excused myself.
Then, in the other end of the car, pursued by envious glances, I sat down
with the man who had climbed aboard and shared his "Java" and the
hand-outs that had bulged his shirt. It was the Swede.</p>
<p>At about ten o'clock in the evening, we arrived at Omaha.</p>
<p>"Let's shake the push," said the Swede to me.</p>
<p>"Sure," said I.</p>
<p>As the freight pulled into Omaha, we made ready to do so. But the people
of Omaha were also ready. The Swede and I hung upon the side-ladders,
ready to drop off. But the freight did not stop. Furthermore, long rows of
policemen, their brass buttons and stars glittering in the electric
lights, were lined up on each side of the track. The Swede and I knew what
would happen to us if we ever dropped off into their arms. We stuck by the
side-ladders, and the train rolled on across the Missouri River to Council
Bluffs.</p>
<p>"General" Kelly, with an army of two thousand hoboes, lay in camp at
Chautauqua Park, several miles away. The after-push we were with was
General Kelly's rear-guard, and, detraining at Council Bluffs, it started
to march to camp. The night had turned cold, and heavy wind-squalls,
accompanied by rain, were chilling and wetting us. Many police were
guarding us and herding us to the camp. The Swede and I watched our chance
and made a successful get-away.</p>
<p>The rain began coming down in torrents, and in the darkness, unable to see
our hands in front of our faces, like a pair of blind men we fumbled about
for shelter. Our instinct served us, for in no time we stumbled upon a
saloon—not a saloon that was open and doing business, not merely a saloon
that was closed for the night, and not even a saloon with a permanent
address, but a saloon propped up on big timbers, with rollers underneath,
that was being moved from somewhere to somewhere. The doors were locked. A
squall of wind and rain drove down upon us. We did not hesitate. Smash
went the door, and in we went.</p>
<p>I have made some tough camps in my time, "carried the banner" in infernal
metropolises, bedded in pools of water, slept in the snow under two
blankets when the spirit thermometer registered seventy-four degrees below
zero (which is a mere trifle of one hundred and six degrees of frost); but
I want to say right here that never did I make a tougher camp, pass a more
miserable night, than that night I passed with the Swede in the itinerant
saloon at Council Bluffs. In the first place, the building, perched up as
it was in the air, had exposed a multitude of openings in the floor
through which the wind whistled. In the second place, the bar was empty;
there was no bottled fire-water with which we could warm ourselves and
forget our misery. We had no blankets, and in our wet clothes, wet to the
skin, we tried to sleep. I rolled under the bar, and the Swede rolled
under the table. The holes and crevices in the floor made it impossible,
and at the end of half an hour I crawled up on top the bar. A little later
the Swede crawled up on top his table.</p>
<p>And there we shivered and prayed for daylight. I know, for one, that I
shivered until I could shiver no more, till the shivering muscles
exhausted themselves and merely ached horribly. The Swede moaned and
groaned, and every little while, through chattering teeth, he muttered,
"Never again; never again." He muttered this phrase repeatedly,
ceaselessly, a thousand times; and when he dozed, he went on muttering it
in his sleep.</p>
<p>At the first gray of dawn we left our house of pain, and outside, found
ourselves in a mist, dense and chill. We stumbled on till we came to the
railroad track. I was going back to Omaha to throw my feet for breakfast;
my companion was going on to Chicago. The moment for parting had come. Our
palsied hands went out to each other. We were both shivering. When we
tried to speak, our teeth chattered us back into silence. We stood alone,
shut off from the world; all that we could see was a short length of
railroad track, both ends of which were lost in the driving mist. We
stared dumbly at each other, our clasped hands shaking sympathetically.
The Swede's face was blue with the cold, and I know mine must have been.</p>
<p>"Never again what?" I managed to articulate.</p>
<p>Speech strove for utterance in the Swede's throat; then faint and
distant, in a thin whisper from the very bottom of his frozen soul, came
the words:—</p>
<p>"Never again a hobo."</p>
<p>He paused, and, as he went on again, his voice gathered strength and
huskiness as it affirmed his will.</p>
<p>"Never again a hobo. I'm going to get a job. You'd better do the same.
Nights like this make rheumatism."</p>
<p>He wrung my hand.</p>
<p>"Good-by, Bo," said he.</p>
<p>"Good-by, Bo," said I.</p>
<p>The next we were swallowed up from each other by the mist. It was our
final passing. But here's to you, Mr. Swede, wherever you are. I hope you
got that job.</p>
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