<h2>CHAPTER VII.</h2>
<p>Ellinor was awakened by a rapping at her door: it was her maid.</p>
<p>She was fully aroused in a moment, for she had fallen asleep with
one clearly defined plan in her mind, only one, for all thoughts and
cares having no relation to the terrible event were as though they had
never been. All her purpose was to shield her father from suspicion.
And to do this she must control herself—heart, mind, and body
must be ruled to this one end.</p>
<p>So she said to Mason:</p>
<p>“Let me lie half an hour longer; and beg Miss Monro not to
wait breakfast for me; but in half an hour bring me up a cup of strong
tea, for I have a bad headache.”</p>
<p>Mason went away. Ellinor sprang up; rapidly undressed herself,
and got into bed again, so that when her maid returned with her breakfast,
there was no appearance of the night having been passed in any unusual
manner.</p>
<p>“How ill you do look, miss!” said Mason. “I
am sure you had better not get up yet.”</p>
<p>Ellinor longed to ask if her father had yet shown himself; but this
question—so natural at any other time—seemed to her so suspicious
under the circumstances, that she could not bring her lips to frame
it. At any rate, she must get up and struggle to make the day
like all other days. So she rose, confessing that she did not
feel very well, but trying to make light of it, and when she could think
of anything but the one awe, to say a trivial sentence or two.
But she could not recollect how she behaved in general, for her life
hitherto had been simple, and led without any consciousness of effect.</p>
<p>Before she was dressed, a message came up to say that Mr. Livingstone
was in the drawing-room.</p>
<p>Mr. Livingstone! He belonged to the old life of yesterday!
The billows of the night had swept over his mark on the sands of her
memory; and it was only by a strong effort that she could remember who
he was—what he wanted. She sent Mason down to inquire from
the servant who admitted him whom it was that he had asked for.</p>
<p>“He asked for master first. But master has not rung for
his water yet, so James told him he was not up. Then he took thought
for a while, and asked could he speak to you, he would wait if you were
not at liberty but that he wished particular to see either master, or
you. So James asked him to sit down in the drawing-room, and he
would let you know.”</p>
<p>“I must go,” thought Ellinor. “I will send
him away directly; to come, thinking of marriage to a house like this—to-day,
too!”</p>
<p>And she went down hastily, and in a hard unsparing mood towards a
man, whose affection for her she thought was like a gourd, grown up
in a night, and of no account, but as a piece of foolish, boyish excitement.</p>
<p>She never thought of her own appearance—she had dressed without
looking in the glass. Her only object was to dismiss her would-be
suitor as speedily as possible. All feelings of shyness, awkwardness,
or maiden modesty, were quenched and overcome. In she went.</p>
<p>He was standing by the mantelpiece as she entered. He made
a step or two forward to meet her; and then stopped, petrified, as it
were, at the sight of her hard white face.</p>
<p>“Miss Wilkins, I am afraid you are ill! I have come too
early. But I have to leave Hamley in half an hour, and I thought—Oh,
Miss Wilkins! what have I done?”</p>
<p>For she sank into the chair nearest to her, as if overcome by his
words; but, indeed, it was by the oppression of her own thoughts: she
was hardly conscious of his presence.</p>
<p>He came a step or two nearer, as if he longed to take her in his
arms and comfort and shelter her; but she stiffened herself and arose,
and by an effort walked towards the fireplace, and there stood, as if
awaiting what he would say next. But he was overwhelmed by her
aspect of illness. He almost forgot his own wishes, his own suit,
in his desire to relieve her from the pain, physical as he believed
it, under which she was suffering. It was she who had to begin
the subject.</p>
<p>“I received your letter yesterday, Mr. Livingstone. I
was anxious to see you to-day, in order that I might prevent you from
speaking to my father. I do not say anything of the kind of affection
you can feel for me—me, whom you have only seen once. All
I shall say is, that the sooner we both forget what I must call folly,
the better.”</p>
<p>She took the airs of a woman considerably older and more experienced
than himself. He thought her haughty; she was only miserable.</p>
<p>“You are mistaken,” said he, more quietly and with more
dignity than was likely from his previous conduct. “I will
not allow you to characterise as folly what might be presumptuous on
my part—I had no business to express myself so soon—but
which in its foundation was true and sincere. That I can answer
for most solemnly. It is possible, though it may not be a usual
thing, for a man to feel so strongly attracted by the charms and qualities
of a woman, even at first sight, as to feel sure that she, and she alone,
can make his happiness. My folly consisted—there you are
right—in even dreaming that you could return my feelings in the
slightest degree, when you had only seen me once: and I am most truly
ashamed of myself. I cannot tell you how sorry I am, when I see
how you have compelled yourself to come and speak to me when you are
so ill.”</p>
<p>She staggered into a chair, for with all her wish for his speedy
dismissal, she was obliged to be seated. His hand was upon the
bell.</p>
<p>“No, don’t!” she said. “Wait a minute.”</p>
<p>His eyes, bent upon her with a look of deep anxiety, touched her
at that moment, and she was on the point of shedding tears; but she
checked herself, and rose again.</p>
<p>“I will go,” said he. “It is the kindest
thing I can do. Only, may I write? May I venture to write
and urge what I have to say more coherently?”</p>
<p>“No!” said she. “Don’t write.
I have given you my answer. We are nothing, and can be nothing
to each other. I am engaged to be married. I should not
have told you if you had not been so kind. Thank you. But
go now.”</p>
<p>The poor young man’s face fell, and he became almost as white
as she was for the instant. After a moment’s reflection,
he took her hand in his, and said:</p>
<p>“May God bless you, and him too, whoever he be! But if
you want a friend, I may be that friend, may I not? and try to prove
that my words of regard were true, in a better and higher sense than
I used them at first.” And kissing her passive hand, he
was gone and she was left sitting alone.</p>
<p>But solitude was not what she could bear. She went quickly
upstairs, and took a strong dose of sal-volatile, even while she heard
Miss Monro calling to her.</p>
<p>“My dear, who was that gentleman that has been closeted with
you in the drawing-room all this time?”</p>
<p>And then, without listening to Ellinor’s reply, she went on:</p>
<p>“Mrs. Jackson has been here” (it was at Mrs. Jackson’s
house that Mr. Dunster lodged), “wanting to know if we could tell
her where Mr. Dunster was, for he never came home last night at all.
And you were in the drawing-room with—who did you say he was?—that
Mr. Livingstone, who might have come at a better time to bid good-bye;
and he had never dined here, had he? so I don’t see any reason
he had to come calling, and P. P. C.-ing, and your papa <i>not</i> up.
So I said to Mrs. Jackson, ‘I’ll send and ask Mr. Wilkins,
if you like, but I don’t see any use in it, for I can tell you
just as well as anybody, that Mr. Dunster is not in this house, wherever
he may be.’ Yet nothing would satisfy her but that some
one must go and waken up your papa, and ask if he could tell where Mr.
Dunster was.”</p>
<p>“And did papa?” inquired Ellinor, her dry throat huskily
forming the inquiry that seemed to be expected from her.</p>
<p>“No! to be sure not. How should Mr. Wilkins know?
As I said to Mrs. Jackson, ‘Mr. Wilkins is not likely to know
where Mr. Dunster spends his time when he is not in the office, for
they do not move in the same rank of life, my good woman; and Mrs. Jackson
apologised, but said that yesterday they had both been dining at Mr.
Hodgson’s together, she believed; and somehow she had got it into
her head that Mr. Dunster might have missed his way in coming along
Moor Lane, and might have slipped into the canal; so she just thought
she would step up and ask Mr. Wilkins if they had left Mr. Hodgson’s
together, or if your papa had driven home. I asked her why she
had not told me all these particulars before, for I could have asked
your papa myself all about when he last saw Mr. Dunster; and I went
up to ask him a second time, but he did not like it at all, for he was
busy dressing, and I had to shout my questions through the door, and
he could not always hear me at first.”</p>
<p>“What did he say?”</p>
<p>“Oh! he had walked part of the way with Mr. Dunster, and then
cut across by the short path through the fields, as far as I could understand
him through the door. He seemed very much annoyed to hear that
Mr. Dunster had not been at home all night; but he said I was to tell
Mrs. Jackson that he would go to the office as soon as he had had his
breakfast, which he ordered to be sent up directly into his own room,
and he had no doubt it would all turn out right, but that she had better
go home at once. And, as I told her, she might find Mr. Dunster
there by the time she got there. There, there is your papa going
out! He has not lost any time over his breakfast!”</p>
<p>Ellinor had taken up the <i>Hamley Examiner</i>, a daily paper, which
lay on the table, to hide her face in the first instance; but it served
a second purpose, as she glanced languidly over the columns of the advertisements.</p>
<p>“Oh! here are Colonel Macdonald’s orchideous plants to
be sold. All the stock of hothouse and stove plants at Hartwell
Priory. I must send James over to Hartwell to attend the sale.
It is to last for three days.”</p>
<p>“But can he be spared for so long?”</p>
<p>“Oh, yes; he had better stay at the little inn there, to be
on the spot. Three days,” and as she spoke, she ran out
to the gardener, who was sweeping up the newly-mown grass in the front
of the house. She gave him hasty and unlimited directions, only
seeming intent—if any one had been suspiciously watching her words
and actions—to hurry him off to the distant village, where the
auction was to take place.</p>
<p>When he was once gone she breathed more freely. Now, no one
but the three cognisant of the terrible reason of the disturbance of
the turf under the trees in a certain spot in the belt round the flower-garden,
would be likely to go into the place. Miss Monro might wander
round with a book in her hand; but she never noticed anything, and was
short-sighted into the bargain. Three days of this moist, warm,
growing weather, and the green grass would spring, just as if life—was
what it had been twenty-four hours before.</p>
<p>When all this was done and said, it seemed as if Ellinor’s
strength and spirit sank down at once. Her voice became feeble,
her aspect wan; and although she told Miss Monro that nothing was the
matter, yet it was impossible for any one who loved her not to perceive
that she was far from well. The kind governess placed her pupil
on the sofa, covered her feet up warmly, darkened the room, and then
stole out on tiptoe, fancying that Ellinor would sleep. Her eyes
were, indeed, shut; but try as much as she would to be quiet, she was
up in less than five minutes after Miss Monro had left the room, and
walking up and down in all the restless agony of body that arises from
an overstrained mind. But soon Miss Monro reappeared, bringing
with her a dose of soothing medicine of her own concocting, for she
was great in domestic quackery. What the medicine was Ellinor
did not care to know; she drank it without any sign of her usual merry
resistance to physic of Miss Monro’s ordering; and as the latter
took up a book, and showed a set purpose of remaining with her patient,
Ellinor was compelled to lie still, and presently fell asleep.</p>
<p>She awakened late in the afternoon with a start. Her father
was standing over her, listening to Miss Monro’s account of her
indisposition. She only caught one glimpse of his strangely altered
countenance, and hid her head in the cushions—hid it from memory,
not from him. For in an instant she must have conjectured the
interpretation he was likely to put upon her shrinking action, and she
had turned towards him, and had thrown her arms round his neck, and
was kissing his cold, passive face. Then she fell back.
But all this time their sad eyes never met—they dreaded the look
of recollection that must be in each other’s gaze.</p>
<p>“There, my dear!” said Miss Monro. “Now you
must lie still till I fetch you a little broth. You are better
now, are not you?”</p>
<p>“You need not go for the broth, Miss Monro,” said Mr.
Wilkins, ringing the bell. “Fletcher can surely bring it.”
He dreaded the being left alone with his daughter—nor did she
fear it less. She heard the strange alteration in her father’s
voice, hard and hoarse, as if it was an effort to speak. The physical
signs of his suffering cut her to the heart; and yet she wondered how
it was that they could both be alive, or, if alive, they were not rending
their garments and crying aloud. Mr. Wilkins seemed to have lost
the power of careless action and speech, it is true. He wished
to leave the room now his anxiety about his daughter was relieved, but
hardly knew how to set about it. He was obliged to think about
the veriest trifle, in order that by an effort of reason he might understand
how he should have spoken or acted if he had been free from blood-guiltiness.
Ellinor understood all by intuition. But henceforward the unspoken
comprehension of each other’s hidden motions made their mutual
presence a burdensome anxiety to each. Miss Monro was a relief;
they were glad of her as a third person, unconscious of the secret which
constrained them. This afternoon her unconsciousness gave present
pain, although on after reflection each found in her speeches a cause
of rejoicing.</p>
<p>“And Mr. Dunster, Mr. Wilkins, has he come home yet?”</p>
<p>A moment’s pause, in which Mr. Wilkins pumped the words out
of his husky throat:</p>
<p>“I have not heard. I have been riding. I went on
business to Mr. Estcourt’s. Perhaps you will be so kind
as to send and inquire at Mrs. Jackson’s.”</p>
<p>Ellinor sickened at the words. She had been all her life a
truthful plain-spoken girl. She held herself high above deceit.
Yet, here came the necessity for deceit—a snare spread around
her. She had not revolted so much from the deed which brought
unpremeditated death, as she did from these words of her father’s.
The night before, in her mad fever of affright, she had fancied that
to conceal the body was all that would be required; she had not looked
forward to the long, weary course of small lies, to be done and said,
involved in that one mistaken action. Yet, while her father’s
words made her soul revolt, his appearance melted her heart, as she
caught it, half turned away from her, neither looking straight at Miss
Monro, nor at anything materially visible. His hollow sunken eye
seemed to Ellinor to have a vision of the dead man before it.
His cheek was livid and worn, and its healthy colouring gained by years
of hearty out-door exercise, was all gone into the wanness of age.
His hair, even to Ellinor, seemed greyer for the past night of wretchedness.
He stooped, and looked dreamily earthward, where formerly he had stood
erect. It needed all the pity called forth by such observation
to quench Ellinor’s passionate contempt for the course on which
she and her father were embarked, when she heard him repeat his words
to the servant who came with her broth.</p>
<p>“Fletcher! go to Mrs. Jackson’s and inquire if Mr. Dunster
is come home yet. I want to speak to him.”</p>
<p>“To him!” lying dead where he had been laid; killed by
the man who now asked for his presence. Ellinor shut her eyes,
and lay back in despair. She wished she might die, and be out
of this horrible tangle of events.</p>
<p>Two minutes after, she was conscious of her father and Miss Monro
stealing softly out of the room. They thought that she slept.</p>
<p>She sprang off the sofa and knelt down.</p>
<p>“Oh, God,” she prayed, “Thou knowest! Help
me! There is none other help but Thee!”</p>
<p>I suppose she fainted. For, an hour or more afterwards Miss
Monro, coming in, found her lying insensible by the side of the sofa.</p>
<p>She was carried to bed. She was not delirious, she was only
in a stupor, which they feared might end in delirium. To obviate
this, her father sent far and wide for skilful physicians, who tended
her, almost at the rate of a guinea the minute.</p>
<p>People said how hard it was upon Mr. Wilkins, that scarcely had that
wretch Dunster gone off, with no one knows how much out of the trusts
of the firm, before his only child fell ill. And, to tell the
truth, he himself looked burnt and scared with affliction. He
had a startled look, they said, as if he never could tell, after such
experience, from which side the awful proofs of the uncertainty of earth
would appear, the terrible phantoms of unforeseen dread. Both
rich and poor, town and country, sympathised with him. The rich
cared not to press their claims, or their business, at such a time;
and only wondered, in their superficial talk after dinner, how such
a good fellow as Wilkins could ever have been deceived by a man like
Dunster. Even Sir Frank Holster and his lady forgot their old
quarrel, and came to inquire after Ellinor, and sent her hothouse fruit
by the bushel.</p>
<p>Mr. Corbet behaved as an anxious lover should do. He wrote
daily to Miss Monro to beg for the most minute bulletins; he procured
everything in town that any doctor even fancied might be of service,
he came down as soon as there was the slightest hint of permission that
Ellinor might see him. He overpowered her with tender words and
caresses, till at last she shrank away from them, as from something
too bewildering, and past all right comprehension.</p>
<p>But one night before this, when all windows and doors stood open
to admit the least breath that stirred the sultry July air, a servant
on velvet tiptoe had stolen up to Ellinor’s open door, and had
beckoned out of the chamber of the sleeper the ever watchful nurse,
Miss Monro.</p>
<p>“A gentleman wants you,” were all the words the housemaid
dared to say so close to the bedroom. And softly, softly Miss
Monro stepped down the stairs, into the drawing-room; and there she
saw Mr. Livingstone. But she did not know him; she had never seen
him before.</p>
<p>“I have travelled all day. I heard she was ill—was
dying. May I just have one more look at her? I will not
speak; I will hardly breathe. Only let me see her once again!”</p>
<p>“I beg your pardon, sir, but I don’t know who you are;
and if you mean Miss Wilkins, by ‘her,’ she is very ill,
but we hope not dying. She was very ill, indeed, yesterday; very
dangerously ill, I may say, but she is having a good sleep, in consequence
of a soporific medicine, and we are really beginning to hope—”</p>
<p>But just here Miss Monro’s hand was taken, and, to her infinite
surprise, was kissed before she could remember how improper such behaviour
was.</p>
<p>“God bless you, madam, for saying so. But if she sleeps,
will you let me see her? it can do no harm, for I will tread as if on
egg shells; and I have come so far—if I might just look on her
sweet face. Pray, madam, let me just have one sight of her.
I will not ask for more.”</p>
<p>But he did ask for more after he had had his wish. He stole
upstairs after Miss Monro, who looked round reproachfully at him if
even a nightingale sang, or an owl hooted in the trees outside the open
windows, yet who paused to say herself, outside Mr. Wilkins’s
chamber door,</p>
<p>“Her father’s room; he has not been in bed for six nights,
till to-night; pray do not make a noise to waken him.” And
on into the deep stillness of the hushed room, where one clear ray of
hidden lamp-light shot athwart the door, where a watcher, breathing
softly, sat beside the bed—where Ellinor’s dark head lay
motionless on the white pillow, her face almost as white, her form almost
as still. You might have heard a pin fall. After a while
he moved to withdraw. Miss Monro, jealous of every sound, followed
him, with steps all the more heavy because they were taken with so much
care, down the stairs, back into the drawing-room. By the bed-candle
flaring in the draught, she saw that there was the glittering mark of
wet tears on his cheek; and she felt, as she said afterwards, “sorry
for the young man.” And yet she urged him to go, for she
knew that she might be wanted upstairs. He took her hand, and
wrung it hard.</p>
<p>“Thank you. She looked so changed—oh! she looked
as though she were dead. You will write—Herbert Livingstone,
Langham Vicarage, Yorkshire; you will promise me to write. If
I could do anything for her, but I can but pray. Oh, my darling;
my darling! and I have no right to be with her.”</p>
<p>“Go away, there’s a good young man,” said Miss
Monro, all the more pressing to hurry him out by the front door, because
she was afraid of his emotion overmastering him, and making him noisy
in his demonstrations. “Yes, I will write; I will write,
never fear!” and she bolted the door behind him, and was thankful.</p>
<p>Two minutes afterwards there was a low tap; she undid the fastenings,
and there he stood, pale in the moonlight.</p>
<p>“Please don’t tell her I came to ask about her; she might
not like it.”</p>
<p>“No, no! not I! Poor creature, she’s not likely
to care to hear anything this long while. She never roused at
Mr. Corbet’s name.”</p>
<p>“Mr. Corbet’s!” said Livingstone, below his breath,
and he turned and went away; this time for good.</p>
<p>But Ellinor recovered. She knew she was recovering, when day
after day she felt involuntary strength and appetite return. Her
body seemed stronger than her will; for that would have induced her
to creep into her grave, and shut her eyes for ever on this world, so
full of troubles.</p>
<p>She lay, for the most part, with her eyes closed, very still and
quiet; but she thought with the intensity of one who seeks for lost
peace, and cannot find it. She began to see that if in the mad
impulses of that mad nightmare of horror, they had all strengthened
each other, and dared to be frank and open, confessing a great fault,
a greater disaster, a greater woe—which in the first instance
was hardly a crime—their future course, though sad and sorrowful,
would have been a simple and straightforward one to tread. But
it was not for her to undo what was done, and to reveal the error and
shame of a father. Only she, turning anew to God, in the solemn
and quiet watches of the night, made a covenant, that in her conduct,
her own personal individual life, she would act loyally and truthfully.
And as for the future, and all the terrible chances involved in it,
she would leave it in His hands—if, indeed (and here came in the
Tempter), He would watch over one whose life hereafter must seem based
upon a lie. Her only plea, offered “standing afar off”
was, “The lie is said and done and over—it was not for my
own sake. Can filial piety be so overcome by the rights of justice
and truth, as to demand of me that I should reveal my father’s
guilt.”</p>
<p>Her father’s severe sharp punishment began. He knew why
she suffered, what made her young strength falter and tremble, what
made her life seem nigh about to be quenched in death. Yet he
could not take his sorrow and care in the natural manner. He was
obliged to think how every word and deed would be construed. He
fancied that people were watching him with suspicious eyes, when nothing
was further from their thoughts. For once let the “public”
of any place be possessed by an idea, it is more difficult to dislodge
it than any one imagines who has not tried. If Mr. Wilkins had
gone into Hamley market-place, and proclaimed himself guilty of the
manslaughter of Mr. Dunster—nay, if he had detailed all the circumstances—the
people would have exclaimed, “Poor man, he is crazed by this discovery
of the unworthiness of the man he trusted so; and no wonder—it
was such a thing to have done—to have defrauded his partner to
such an extent, and then have made off to America!”</p>
<p>For many small circumstances, which I do not stop to detail here,
went far to prove this, as we know, unfounded supposition; and Mr. Wilkins,
who was known, from his handsome boyhood, through his comely manhood,
up to the present time, by all the people in Hamley, was an object of
sympathy and respect to every one who saw him, as he passed by, old,
and lorn, and haggard before his time, all through the evil conduct
of one, London-bred, who was as a hard, unlovely stranger to the popular
mind of this little country town.</p>
<p>Mr. Wilkins’s own servants liked him. The workings of
his temptations were such as they could understand. If he had
been hot-tempered he had also been generous, or I should rather say
careless and lavish with his money. And now that he was cheated
and impoverished by his partner’s delinquency, they thought it
no wonder that he drank long and deep in the solitary evenings which
he passed at home. It was not that he was without invitations.
Every one came forward to testify their respect for him by asking him
to their houses. He had probably never been so universally popular
since his father’s death. But, as he said, he did not care
to go into society while his daughter was so ill—he had no spirits
for company.</p>
<p>But if any one had cared to observe his conduct at home, and to draw
conclusions from it, they could have noticed that, anxious as he was
about Ellinor, he rather avoided than sought her presence, now that
her consciousness and memory were restored. Nor did she ask for,
or wish for him. The presence of each was a burden to the other.
Oh, sad and woeful night of May—overshadowing the coming summer
months with gloom and bitter remorse!</p>
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