<h2><SPAN name="page82"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>TO MY BRIDE<br/> <span class="GutSmall">(WHOEVER SHE MAY BE)</span></h2>
<p class="poetry"><span class="smcap">Oh</span>! little
maid!—(I do not know your name<br/>
Or who you are, so, as a safe precaution<br/>
I’ll add)—Oh, buxom widow! married dame!<br/>
(As one of these must be your present portion)<br/>
Listen, while I unveil prophetic
lore for you,<br/>
And sing the fate that Fortune has
in store for you.</p>
<p class="poetry">You’ll marry soon—within a year or
twain—<br/>
A bachelor of <i>circa</i> two and thirty:<br/>
Tall, gentlemanly, but extremely plain,<br/>
And when you’re intimate, you’ll call
him “<span class="smcap">Bertie</span>.”<br/>
Neat—dresses well; his
temper has been classified<br/>
As hasty; but he’s very
quickly pacified.</p>
<p class="poetry">You’ll find him working mildly at the
Bar,<br/>
After a touch at two or three professions,<br/>
From easy affluence extremely far,<br/>
A brief or two on Circuit—“soup”
at Sessions;<br/>
A pound or two from whist and
backing horses,<br/>
And, say three hundred from his
own resources.</p>
<p class="poetry">Quiet in harness; free from serious vice,<br/>
His faults are not particularly shady,<br/>
You’ll never find him “<i>shy</i>”—for,
once or twice<br/>
Already, he’s been driven by a lady,<br/>
Who parts with him—perhaps a
poor excuse for him—<br/>
Because she hasn’t any
further use for him.</p>
<p class="poetry">Oh! bride of mine—tall, dumpy, dark, or
fair!<br/>
Oh! widow—wife, maybe, or blushing maiden,<br/>
I’ve told <i>your</i> fortune; solved the gravest care<br/>
With which your mind has hitherto been laden.<br/>
I’ve prophesied correctly,
never doubt it;<br/>
Now tell me mine—and please
be quick about it!</p>
<p class="poetry">You—only you—can tell me, an’
you will,<br/>
To whom I’m destined shortly to be mated,<br/>
Will she run up a heavy <i>modiste’s</i> bill?<br/>
If so, I want to hear her income stated<br/>
(This is a point which interests
me greatly).<br/>
To quote the bard, “Oh! have
I seen her lately?”</p>
<p class="poetry">Say, must I wait till husband number one<br/>
Is comfortably stowed away at Woking?<br/>
How is her hair most usually done?<br/>
And tell me, please, will she object to smoking?<br/>
The colour of her eyes, too, you
may mention:<br/>
Come, Sibyl,
prophesy—I’m all attention.</p>
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