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Private Sex Advice to Women

<h2>LESSON V GENERAL ADVICE TO WOMEN ON SEX SUBJECTS</h2> In this lesson the writer seeks to direct the attention of his women readers to certain subjects upon which the average woman is not well informed, and upon which she usually requires sound, sane, clean, frank information. In many cases women hesitate to ask even their family physicians for such information, and, although there is no rational reason for it, they even shrink from consulting better informed and capable women concerning these subjects. Sexual Feeling. Owing to erroneous teachings, and irrational prejudices arising from ancient distorted and perverted ideals of sex, many women have grown to maturity under the erroneous belief that it is a sign of immorality, or at least low ideals and depraved nature, for a woman to experience sexual emotions or feelings, wishes or desires. So true is this that even many married women seek to withhold from their husbands the knowledge that any sexual feeling is experienced by the wife. Such a belief is of course absurd. It is as natural for a woman to experience normal sexual feeling as it is for her to experience any other feeling aroused by natural instincts and organism. Without such instinct and the feelings arising therefrom, there would be no mating or marriage, and no perpetuation of the race. The woman experiencing such feelings should not allow herself to imagine that she is depraved or perverted, or immoral in thought and feeling. Incredible as it may appear to a normal, healthy-minded man, it is true that thousands of young women have lost self-respect, and have lapsed into{50} a morbid state of mind, because of the occasional manifestation of their normal sexual feeling. This does not, of course, mean that the woman must necessarily manifest into action the feeling experienced by her. On the contrary, she must acquire self-mastery and self-control, just as she must in other phases of her life. It may help some women of this kind to realize that the sex feeling and impulses, arising unbidden (and often unwelcomed) from the depths of their subconscious mentality, are essentially creative impulses. If the woman be unmarried, or if married and placed under conditions in which the marital relation with the husband is impossible or undesirable, then she can transmute this creative energy in some form of creative work—in work which leads to the creation, manufacture, building-up, or composing something. There is a hint here which will prove a great blessing to the woman who will understand and apply the principle suggested—for many other women have found it so. As for the married woman, there is no reason whatsoever why she should seek to withhold from her husband the knowledge that she is possessed of normal, natural, healthy sexual feeling. In fact, the withholding of such information, and the concealment and deception arising therefrom, has often done much to bring marital inharmony between husband and wife. If there is any deception to be practiced in the marital association of husband and wife, it should rather be in the opposite direction, i. e., in the direction of pretending the emotional feeling when it exists only partially or is absent. The last matter, however, is one for the exercise of the judgment and conviction of each individual woman; but the first mentioned admonition is one which should be observed, as it is based on honesty, truth, and good judgment as well. Alcohol and Sexuality. It needs no extended argument {51}to convince the average person that an individual will do things when under the influence of drink that he or she would not do when perfectly sober. It is an old saying that "When the wine is in, the wits are out." But there is a deeper connection and relation between alcoholic drink and sexual indiscretions than is usually realized by the average person. Besides the commonly known weakening of will-power and self-control arising from the influence of strong drink, there are certain influences concerning the sexual nature and arising from the presence of alcohol in the system, which are not known to most persons. So true is this that the writer has thought it well to utter a few words of warning to his women readers concerning these things. In the first place, there is an exhilarating effect arising from certain kinds of liquor, wines, and other forms of alcoholic drinks, which manifests directly in an excitement of the sexual centers and organism. In many cases a strong sexual excitement, absent at other times, is aroused, and the person is carried away with the force of passion unknown under other circumstances. Added to this the weakened will-power arising from too much drink, and we have an explanation of many cases of "mistakes" of women. It would appear that women are even more susceptible than are men to unusual sexual excitement arising from alcoholic drinks; and that, therefore, they should be especially cautious in the indulgence in such drinks, particularly when in the company of strange men, or men careless in regard to sexual morality and respect for women in their company. But there is still a deeper reason, based upon the latest discoveries in psychology, why caution in this respect should be observed by women. We allude to the discovery that alcohol first affects the mental and emotional tendencies of more recent racial acquirement, acting {52}so as to paralyze and inhibit the activities thereof, and to thus release the activity of the more primitive emotions and motive activities. Thus, the woman under the influence of alcohol finds that the more recent racial traits, such as sexual control, restraint, sexual morality, conventional observations, etc., are practically temporarily paralyzed in inhibitual—or to use the current slang phrase, are "put out of commission" for the time being; and, at the same time, the old elemental, savage, barbaric, "cave man" instincts, habits, and methods of action, are brought to the surface, and proceed to manifest their activity if opportunity be granted for the same—and the opportunity is usually granted. This being seen to be true, it is seen that the woman so under the influence of liquor is, for the time being, little more than a "cave woman," or barbarian, with all the lax sex morality of the latter, and with all the tendencies to manifest into activity the primitive impulses arising in her nature and demanding expression. Added to this the weakening of will-power always accompanying the alcoholic influence, it is seen that the woman under the influence of strong drink is an easy prey to designing men, and a willing victim to her own lower passions. An authority of sex subjects says: "That Bacchus, the god of wine, is the strongest ally of Venus, the goddess of love, using the term Love in its physical sense, as the French use the word 'amour,' has been well known to the ancient Greeks and Romans, as it is well known today to every saloon-keeper and every keeper of a disreputable house. And all measures to combat venereal diseases and to prevent girls from making a false step will only be partially successful if we do not at the same time carry on a strong educational campaign against alcoholic indulgence. * * * Of what use are warnings to a girl, when under the influence of a heavy dinner and a bottle{53} of champagne, to which she is unaccustomed, her passion is aroused to a degree she has never experienced before, her will is paralyzed and she yields, though deep down in her consciousness something tells her she shouldn't? She yields, becomes pregnant, and is in the deepest agony for several months, and has a wound which will probably never heal for the rest of her life. Of what use have all the lectures, books, and maternal injunctions been to her? * * * I believe that the sex instinct can be stimulated artificially beyond the natural needs, and among the artificial stimulants of the sex instinct alcohol occupies the first place. And bear in mind that alcohol produces even a stronger effect upon women, in exciting the sexual passion, than it does on men. Women are more easily upset by stimulants and narcotics, and that is the reason why it is more dangerous for women to drink than it is for men. It is impossible to give statistics and exact or even approximate figures. But there is no question in my mind, in the mind of any careful investigator, that if alcoholic beverages could be eliminated, the number of cases of venereal infection would be diminished by about one-half. And what is true of venereal disease is also true of the seduction of young girls. Alcohol is the most efficient weapon that either the refined Don Juan or the vulgar pimp has in his possession." Our advice to the woman who is asked to drink liquor when in the company of a man outside of her immediate family circle is emphatically this: DON'T DO IT! The Menstrual Period. As strange as it may appear to those women who have had the advantage of intelligent maternal advice, it is a fact known to all physicians that many mothers permit their young daughters to enter into the stage of puberty, with the accompanying menstrual flow, without having first instructed the daughter as to the meaning and character of this phenomenon of{54} her nature, and without having given her advice concerning the proper care of herself during this period. Physicians constantly experience cases in which the young girl to whom the first menstrual flow having come, without previous knowledge on her part, has supposed it to be the result of a wound, or of a diseased condition, and has attempted to stop the flow by the application of cold water. Even where a partial knowledge has been attained by the girl, she is found to lack the knowledge of the proper hygienic care of herself during the period. The mothers in such cases are criminally negligent, and have alluded a false modesty or prudery to interfere with a natural and necessary maternal duty. The approach of the first menstruation is often accompanied by unusual physical, mental and emotional changes in the young girl. Her nervous system is affected, and she is apt to become irritable or morbid, or even somewhat "flighty." Her appetite may become irregular, and there is often present a craving for indigestible food. A physical languor is often experienced, and there may be pains in the back and legs, chilliness and headaches, and a general upsetting of the usual physical condition, accompanied by a manifestation of peevishness and irritability. These unpleasant symptoms usually disappear when the periodical menstrual flow is permanently established. In fact, they are frequently superseded by the awakened energy and heightened spirits of healthy, normal adolescence. The time of the beginning of the menstrual period varies according to climate, race, condition of health, and temperament. In the tropical countries, menstruation begins from the tenth to the fourteenth year; in temperate countries, from the thirteenth to the sixteenth; in cold countries, from the fifteenth to the twentieth year. The Italian, Hebrew, Spanish, or French girl is apt to menstruate {55}earlier than the English, German, or Swedish girl. The Negro girl menstruates early, as a rule. The full-blooded girl usually menstruates earlier than the anemic one. Normally, menstruation should proceed naturally and without pain or suffering. When pain or suffering is experienced in connection with menstruation, it is simply because of some lack of health in the general system; and when such general health is restored, the trouble ceases. Painful menstruation is called "dysmenorrhea," and arises from several causes, principal among which are the following: Errors in diet, errors in dress, undue exposure, constipation, lack of proper exercise, or to a contracted or congested condition of the Uterus or the Fallopian Tubes. The pain, however, cannot be considered as a feature of normal menstruation, for the latter is no more painful than a normal movement of the bowels—the painful condition results from abnormal conditions, the removal of these conditions resulting in the cure of the complaint. Dysmenorrhea should be treated by the discarding of all unhygienic clothing, tight shoes, etc., and their replacement by rational clothing; the dietary should be carefully scanned, and improper articles replaced by nourishing elements of food—discard the pastries, pickles, confections, and stimulants, and substitute sensible articles of diet; if constipation is present, remove it by eating articles of food which promote free movements of the bowels, and drink more water each day; take a proper amount of exercise—housework is as good a form of exercise as any; many authorities advocate the free drinking of water prior to and during the menstrual period—some going so far as to say that where there is painful menstruation there is always a lack of a proper amount of water taken into the system. In some cases Dysmenorrhea {56}is due to disorders of the general nervous system, and treatment therefore should be sought at the hands of a capable physician. Amenorrhea, another disorder arising in connection with the menstrual process, consists of the retention or suppression of the menses, or of "scanty" menses, or occasional "skipping" of the periods. This condition is apt to be manifest in cases of extreme obesity or "fatness;" the nervous system being burdened with superfluous flesh, its menstrual rhythm is often affected. Suppression of the menses also sometimes results from exposure and disturbing mental emotions. The most approved treatment is that of remedying the abnormal general physical condition, proper diet, and the use of hot drinks, hot sitz baths, and hot enemas about the time of the beginning of the normal period. Menorrhagia, another menstrual-period disorder, consists of very profuse flowing—it is, in fact, a mild form of hemorrhage. It usually arises from general debility, shocks, too violent exercise or labor, and also in many cases from undue and too frequent sexual intercourse. Sometimes the excessive flow occurs during the regular menstrual period, while in other cases it may manifest itself out of season—sometimes as often as two or three times a month. The duration of the normal period of menstrual flow, however, varies greatly among different women; the normal period may be said to last from two to six days, so what might be an excessive flow for one woman would be only normal for another—temperament plays a large part in determining the quantity of the menses. Some of the accompanying symptoms of Menorrhagia, or profuse flow, are lassitude, shortness of breath, faintness, dizziness, headache, irritability and nervousness, and often also leucorrhea between periods. The general{57} treatment consists in measures calculated to bring the general health of the woman back to the normal. The building up of the general system, by means of nourishing food, proper exercise, etc., will almost always result in curing this disorder. A well-known authority has well said: "The hygiene of menstruation can be expressed in two words: Cleanliness and Rest." So far as Rest is concerned, the woman need not be urged to take it at this period—that is, if she is able to do so. Care should be taken not to exercise unduly at this time, and under the head of exercise may be included dancing, horseback riding, and automobiling, as well as the more common forms of athletic work. It would seem that common sense and the general desire for cleanliness and daintiness would cause all women to observe the plain hygienic laws of Cleanliness at the time of the menstrual period. And, indeed, it is probable that such would be the case were it not for the fact that some ancient superstitions still exert their power over the mind of many women, in regard to the use of water during the menstrual period. While it is true that cold baths, or cold-water bathing, are not advisable for the average woman during the menstrual period (although some especially robust women bathe and swim as usual during this period), this prohibition does not apply to the use of warm water during the period. Lukewarm baths are permissible at this time; and the woman should wash the external genital parts with warm water, with soap if desired, every morning and evening of the period. A vaginal douche of lukewarm water is an excellent adjunct to the bathing of the parts. It is astonishing to meet with the superstitious prejudice existing in the minds of some women concerning the use of the vaginal douche; these good creatures seem to{58} think that it is either unnatural and unhealthy, or else is something "not respectable," and fit only for the use of immoral women. These women should get in touch with modern hygienic methods, and learn to use the douche at least during their menstrual periods. At this time, if the plain rules of cleanliness are not observed, there often occurs a decomposition of the blood which has gathered in or about the genitals, and an offensive odor is manifested. Some women, while feeling distressed about this odor, are afraid to use lukewarm water in washing themselves, owing to some old unexplored superstition handed down from the great-grandmother's time. The napkins should be changed at least every morning and evening. Unclean napkins may lead to infection, and it is probable that many cases of leucorrhea have their origin in lack of cleanliness concerning the napkins, cloths, or rags, used during menstruation. It may seem almost incredible to the average woman reader, but physicians know of cases (usually among the poorer and more ignorant foreign classes) in which the girl is instructed by her mother, grandmother, or aunts, that she must wear the original cloth or rag during the entire period, as she will "catch cold" by a change to a clean, fresh cloth while the flow continued. Imagine the result of such a practice! This last is an extreme instance, of course, but it will serve to show the absurd and harmful notions prevalent concerning this important natural function, and its incidents. Leucorrhea. A very common disorder among women is that known as Leucorrhea, or "the whites." It consists of a discharge from the Vagina, or the Uterus through the Vagina. It is, in fact, of a catarrhal nature, and results from an over-secretion of the mucus fluids which, in proper quantity, keep the mucus membrane of the said organs in good condition. The discharge manifests {59}in various shades and degrees of consistency. From the character of the discharge, physicians are able to determine whether it comes from the Vagina or the Uterus. The discharge from the Vagina usually is a light creamy fluid; that from the neck of the Uterus is a sticky, thick fluid flowing rather freely; that from the lining of the Uterus is alkaline, and generally precedes and follows menstruation; and that accompanying ulceration of the womb is semi-purulent and offensive in odor. Leucorrhea has many causes, among which may be mentioned the following: getting chilled feet or body, particularly during the menstrual period; over exertion and overwork standing on one's feet; chills following dancing in overheated rooms; excessive worry or emotional strain, etc. It is a quite common complaint, and some assert that fully twenty-five per cent (perhaps more) of all women suffer from it to at least some extent. The general treatment of Leucorrhea consists of the building up of the entire system by the proper hygienic methods. Constipation should be removed, and the system is built up by the proper articles of food, exercise, etc. The use of the proper douches are also advised by the best practitioners. Physicians also treat inflamed areas by local treatments consisting of painting the Vagina or neck of the Uterus with certain medicinal solutions. Certain suppositories and douches are also employed in some cases. It is always better to consult a good physician in these cases, particularly where the trouble is aggravated or of long standing. A popular writer on the subject gives the following prescription for a vaginal injection: White Fluid Hydrastics, 2 ounces; Borax, 1/2 ounce; Distilled Witch Hazel Extract, 1 pint. Use of this preparation one ounce, diluted in a pint of lukewarm water, as a vaginal injection, taken twice each day. {60} A well-known authority gives the following advice concerning treatment of Leucorrhea: "One of the simplest things is an alum tampon. You take a piece of absorbent cotton, about the size of a fist, spread it out, put about a tablespoonful of powdered alum on it, fold it up, tie a string around the center, insert it in the vagina as far as it will go, and leave it in twenty-four hours. Then pull it gently by the string and syringe yourself with a quart or two of warm water. Such a tampon may be inserted every other day or every third day, and I have known where this simple treatment alone produced a cure. In some cases, however, douches work better, and the two best things for douching are: tincture of iodine and lactic acid. Buy, say, four ounces of tincture of iodine, and use two teaspoonsful in two quarts of hot water in a douche bag. This injection should be used twice a day, morning and night. Of the lactic acid you buy, say, a pint, and use two tablespoonsful to two quarts of water. The lactic acid has the advantage over the tincture of iodine that it is colorless, while the iodine is dark and stains whatever it comes in contact with. Sometimes I order the use of the tincture of iodine and the lactic acid alternately: for one douche the tincture of iodine, for the next the lactic acid, and so on. When the condition improves, it is sufficient to use one teaspoonful of the tincture of iodine and one tablespoonful of the lactic acid to two quarts of water. These injections are quite efficient and have the advantage of being perfectly harmless. One point about the injections: they should be taken not in the standing or squatting position (in which position the fluid comes right out), but while laying down, over a douche pan. The douche bag should be only about a foot above the bed, so that the irrigating fluid may come out slowly; the patient, after each injection taken in the daytime, {61}should remain at least half an hour in bed (in the nighttime she stays all night in bed.) This gives the injection a better chance to come in contact with all the parts of the vagina, and a portion of it comes in contact with the cervix, where it exerts a healing effect. Avoid the use of patent medicines." Uterine Displacement. The woman suffering from Uterine Displacement should, of course, consult a competent physician and be governed by his advice. The following suggestions, however, will be found to be of service in many cases: In the case of Prolapsus, or falling of the womb, many women have found great relief, and in many cases permanent improvement, by taking occasional rests in bed for an hour or so, with the feet and lower part of the legs raised at least eight inches above the level of the head. In this plan, the Uterus is replaced by gravitation. Some authorities advise practicing waist-breathing while lying in this position, thus exercising the abdominal muscles. Dr. Taylor says: "Increase the pump-like action of the chest, and it will be found that the displaced viscera will return to their normal position." Some have also found relief from the use of alum-water vaginal injections once or twice each day. The alum-water is prepared by dissolving one heaping teaspoonful of powdered alum in a pint of lukewarm water. This last treatment often strengthens the vaginal muscles whose yielding has at least partially been the cause of the falling womb. In cases of Retroversion, in which the Uterus is turned or bent backward, the "knee and chest" position will often aid in causing the organ to regain its normal position. In this position the woman kneels, and rests her chest upon the bed, thus causing the hips to be elevated. In cases of Antroversion, in which the Uterus is turned or bent forward, relief is often obtained by the woman{62} resting upon the back, using a pillow to elevate her hips. Intercourse During Menstruation. It would seem that the natural esthetic repulsion to the exercise of the marital relations during the menstrual period should be sufficient to deter men and women from indulgence at this time; but many seem to have overcome this instinctive repulsion, and to these a stronger reason must be given—and the reason is at hand. The reasons in question are as follows: first, that congestion of the Uterus and Ovaries sometimes results from this unnatural practice; second, that the man may possibly contract an inflammation of the urethra by infection from the degenerated membrane, tissue, blood, etc., of the menstrual flow; and third, that such practices may result in the aggravation of discharges from the woman, such as leucorrhea, etc. Intercourse During Pregnancy. The best authorities advise total abstinence from sexual intercourse during the period of pregnancy; but in view of the fact that such abstinence is very difficult for most men, and that few will persist in it, it is thought well to point out the fact that at least an extreme moderation is desirable in such cases. A leading authority says on this point: "During the first four months of pregnancy, no change need be made in the usual sex relations; their intensity should be moderated, their frequency need not. During the fifth, sixth, and seventh months, intercourse should be indulged in at rarer intervals—once in two or three weeks—the act should be performed without any violence or intensity. During the eighth and ninth months relations had best be given up altogether. And this abstinence should last until about six weeks after the birth of the child. During this period the uterus undergoes what we call involution; that is, it goes back to the size and shape it had before pregnancy, and it is best not to disturb this process by sexual excitement, which causes engorgement and congestion." {63} Sterility in Women. Sterility, or barrenness, i. e., the inability to bear children, is frequently met with among married people. It is usually blamed upon the woman, whereas in at least one-half of the cases the fault is with the man. The causes of sterility in women are usually one or more of the following: Inflammation of the Fallopian Tubes, which may have been caused by gonorrhea or ordinary inflammation—in some rare cases childbirth has been known to set up an inflammation in this region, which has prevented the woman from future childbearing—the inflammation causes the tubes to clog up or become closed, so that no more ova can pass through them from the ovaries to the womb; in some cases, also, severe cases of leucorrhea have caused sterility, as the discharge is sometimes fatal to the life of the spermatozoa and destroys them; in other cases misplacement of the womb causes sterility; also severe inflammation of the neck or mouth of the womb operates in the same way, in some cases. In cases of sterility, the woman should have an examination made by a competent physician, and it often will be found that the cure of the disorders above noted will work a cure of the sterility. But, in all cases of sterility, it will be found that the husband should be examined as well as the wife—in fact, many authorities insist that the husband should be examined first. Venereal diseases frequently produce sterility in the man, although he is loath to admit this and is apt to place the blame entirely upon the woman. Miscarriage and Abortions. The terms "miscarriage," and "abortion," respectively, mean the expulsion of the fetus from the womb before its natural time of delivery. In common usage, the term "miscarriage" is usually employed to indicate instances in which the premature delivery has occurred without any voluntary act on the part{64} of the woman, or other persons acting with her permission; the term "abortion" being reserved for instances in which the miscarriage has been voluntarily produced. When the fetus dies within the womb of the mother, it is usually expelled spontaneously within a few days or even a few hours. Some women suffer from certain weakness which result in habitual miscarriage; such women seem unable to carry the child for the full natural term, and lose it at some time during the period of gestation. Like results often arise from certain diseases, principal among which is syphilis. In some cases the physician produces what is known as "therapeutic abortion," for the purpose of saving the life of the woman—this is sanctioned by medical custom and by law. Other forms of abortion, performed for the purpose of preventing the progress of the gestation, and designed for the destruction of the embryo or fetus, are known as "criminal abortion," and are punishable by several legal penalties. Abortions are frequently followed by severe illness, invalidism, or even death for the woman. Many women have had their entire lives ruined by this evil practice. It is one of the curses of modern civilization, and one which must be removed by means of rational instruction and education along the lines of sexual science if the race is to be prevented from deterioration. The subject will be further considered in the subsequent lessons in this book. The best advice to those who have contemplated the performance of abortion is simply this: Don't; Don't; DON'T! {65} <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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