<h2><SPAN name="chap06"></SPAN>CHAPTER VI.</h2>
<p>By the following morning the storm had blown itself quite out and the
<i>Ghost</i> was rolling slightly on a calm sea without a breath of wind.
Occasional light airs were felt, however, and Wolf Larsen patrolled the poop
constantly, his eyes ever searching the sea to the north-eastward, from which
direction the great trade-wind must blow.</p>
<p>The men were all on deck and busy preparing their various boats for the
season’s hunting. There are seven boats aboard, the captain’s
dingey, and the six which the hunters will use. Three, a hunter, a boat-puller,
and a boat-steerer, compose a boat’s crew. On board the schooner the
boat-pullers and steerers are the crew. The hunters, too, are supposed to be in
command of the watches, subject, always, to the orders of Wolf Larsen.</p>
<p>All this, and more, I have learned. The <i>Ghost</i> is considered the fastest
schooner in both the San Francisco and Victoria fleets. In fact, she was once a
private yacht, and was built for speed. Her lines and fittings—though I
know nothing about such things—speak for themselves. Johnson was telling
me about her in a short chat I had with him during yesterday’s second
dog-watch. He spoke enthusiastically, with the love for a fine craft such as
some men feel for horses. He is greatly disgusted with the outlook, and I am
given to understand that Wolf Larsen bears a very unsavoury reputation among
the sealing captains. It was the <i>Ghost</i> herself that lured Johnson into
signing for the voyage, but he is already beginning to repent.</p>
<p>As he told me, the <i>Ghost</i> is an eighty-ton schooner of a remarkably fine
model. Her beam, or width, is twenty-three feet, and her length a little over
ninety feet. A lead keel of fabulous but unknown weight makes her very stable,
while she carries an immense spread of canvas. From the deck to the truck of
the maintopmast is something over a hundred feet, while the foremast with its
topmast is eight or ten feet shorter. I am giving these details so that the
size of this little floating world which holds twenty-two men may be
appreciated. It is a very little world, a mote, a speck, and I marvel that men
should dare to venture the sea on a contrivance so small and fragile.</p>
<p>Wolf Larsen has, also, a reputation for reckless carrying on of sail. I
overheard Henderson and another of the hunters, Standish, a Californian,
talking about it. Two years ago he dismasted the <i>Ghost</i> in a gale on
Bering Sea, whereupon the present masts were put in, which are stronger and
heavier in every way. He is said to have remarked, when he put them in, that he
preferred turning her over to losing the sticks.</p>
<p>Every man aboard, with the exception of Johansen, who is rather overcome by his
promotion, seems to have an excuse for having sailed on the <i>Ghost</i>. Half
the men forward are deep-water sailors, and their excuse is that they did not
know anything about her or her captain. And those who do know, whisper that the
hunters, while excellent shots, were so notorious for their quarrelsome and
rascally proclivities that they could not sign on any decent schooner.</p>
<p>I have made the acquaintance of another one of the crew,—Louis he is
called, a rotund and jovial-faced Nova Scotia Irishman, and a very sociable
fellow, prone to talk as long as he can find a listener. In the afternoon,
while the cook was below asleep and I was peeling the everlasting potatoes,
Louis dropped into the galley for a “yarn.” His excuse for being
aboard was that he was drunk when he signed. He assured me again and again that
it was the last thing in the world he would dream of doing in a sober moment.
It seems that he has been seal-hunting regularly each season for a dozen years,
and is accounted one of the two or three very best boat-steerers in both
fleets.</p>
<p>“Ah, my boy,” he shook his head ominously at me, “’tis
the worst schooner ye could iv selected, nor were ye drunk at the time as was
I. ’Tis sealin’ is the sailor’s paradise—on other ships
than this. The mate was the first, but mark me words, there’ll be more
dead men before the trip is done with. Hist, now, between you an’ meself
and the stanchion there, this Wolf Larsen is a regular devil, an’ the
<i>Ghost’ll</i> be a hell-ship like she’s always ben since he had
hold iv her. Don’t I know? Don’t I know? Don’t I remember him
in Hakodate two years gone, when he had a row an’ shot four iv his men?
Wasn’t I a-layin’ on the <i>Emma L.</i>, not three hundred yards
away? An’ there was a man the same year he killed with a blow iv his
fist. Yes, sir, killed ’im dead-oh. His head must iv smashed like an
eggshell. An’ wasn’t there the Governor of Kura Island, an’
the Chief iv Police, Japanese gentlemen, sir, an’ didn’t they come
aboard the <i>Ghost</i> as his guests, a-bringin’ their wives
along—wee an’ pretty little bits of things like you see ’em
painted on fans. An’ as he was a-gettin’ under way, didn’t
the fond husbands get left astern-like in their sampan, as it might be by
accident? An’ wasn’t it a week later that the poor little ladies
was put ashore on the other side of the island, with nothin’ before
’em but to walk home acrost the mountains on their weeny-teeny little
straw sandals which wouldn’t hang together a mile? Don’t I know?
’Tis the beast he is, this Wolf Larsen—the great big beast
mentioned iv in Revelation; an’ no good end will he ever come to. But
I’ve said nothin’ to ye, mind ye. I’ve whispered never a
word; for old fat Louis’ll live the voyage out if the last mother’s
son of yez go to the fishes.”</p>
<p>“Wolf Larsen!” he snorted a moment later. “Listen to the
word, will ye! Wolf—’tis what he is. He’s not black-hearted
like some men. ’Tis no heart he has at all. Wolf, just wolf, ’tis
what he is. D’ye wonder he’s well named?”</p>
<p>“But if he is so well-known for what he is,” I queried, “how
is it that he can get men to ship with him?”</p>
<p>“An’ how is it ye can get men to do anything on God’s earth
an’ sea?” Louis demanded with Celtic fire. “How d’ye
find me aboard if ’twasn’t that I was drunk as a pig when I put me
name down? There’s them that can’t sail with better men, like the
hunters, and them that don’t know, like the poor devils of wind-jammers
for’ard there. But they’ll come to it, they’ll come to it,
an’ be sorry the day they was born. I could weep for the poor creatures,
did I but forget poor old fat Louis and the troubles before him. But ’tis
not a whisper I’ve dropped, mind ye, not a whisper.”</p>
<p>“Them hunters is the wicked boys,” he broke forth again, for he
suffered from a constitutional plethora of speech. “But wait till they
get to cutting up iv jinks and rowin’ ’round. He’s the
boy’ll fix ’em. ’Tis him that’ll put the fear of God in
their rotten black hearts. Look at that hunter iv mine, Horner.
‘Jock’ Horner they call him, so quiet-like an’
easy-goin’, soft-spoken as a girl, till ye’d think butter
wouldn’t melt in the mouth iv him. Didn’t he kill his boat-steerer
last year? ’Twas called a sad accident, but I met the boat-puller in
Yokohama an’ the straight iv it was given me. An’ there’s
Smoke, the black little devil—didn’t the Roosians have him for
three years in the salt mines of Siberia, for poachin’ on Copper Island,
which is a Roosian preserve? Shackled he was, hand an’ foot, with his
mate. An’ didn’t they have words or a ruction of some
kind?—for ’twas the other fellow Smoke sent up in the buckets to
the top of the mine; an’ a piece at a time he went up, a leg to-day,
an’ to-morrow an arm, the next day the head, an’ so on.”</p>
<p>“But you can’t mean it!” I cried out, overcome with the
horror of it.</p>
<p>“Mean what!” he demanded, quick as a flash. “’Tis
nothin’ I’ve said. Deef I am, and dumb, as ye should be for the
sake iv your mother; an’ never once have I opened me lips but to say fine
things iv them an’ him, God curse his soul, an’ may he rot in
purgatory ten thousand years, and then go down to the last an’ deepest
hell iv all!”</p>
<p>Johnson, the man who had chafed me raw when I first came aboard, seemed the
least equivocal of the men forward or aft. In fact, there was nothing equivocal
about him. One was struck at once by his straightforwardness and manliness,
which, in turn, were tempered by a modesty which might be mistaken for
timidity. But timid he was not. He seemed, rather, to have the courage of his
convictions, the certainty of his manhood. It was this that made him protest,
at the commencement of our acquaintance, against being called Yonson. And upon
this, and him, Louis passed judgment and prophecy.</p>
<p>“’Tis a fine chap, that squarehead Johnson we’ve
for’ard with us,” he said. “The best sailorman in the
fo’c’sle. He’s my boat-puller. But it’s to trouble
he’ll come with Wolf Larsen, as the sparks fly upward. It’s meself
that knows. I can see it brewin’ an’ comin’ up like a storm
in the sky. I’ve talked to him like a brother, but it’s little he
sees in takin’ in his lights or flyin’ false signals. He grumbles
out when things don’t go to suit him, and there’ll be always some
tell-tale carryin’ word iv it aft to the Wolf. The Wolf is strong, and
it’s the way of a wolf to hate strength, an’ strength it is
he’ll see in Johnson—no knucklin’ under, and a ‘Yes,
sir, thank ye kindly, sir,’ for a curse or a blow. Oh, she’s
a-comin’! She’s a-comin’! An’ God knows where
I’ll get another boat-puller! What does the fool up an’ say, when
the old man calls him Yonson, but ‘Me name is Johnson, sir,’
an’ then spells it out, letter for letter. Ye should iv seen the old
man’s face! I thought he’d let drive at him on the spot. He
didn’t, but he will, an’ he’ll break that squarehead’s
heart, or it’s little I know iv the ways iv men on the ships iv the
sea.”</p>
<p>Thomas Mugridge is becoming unendurable. I am compelled to Mister him and to
Sir him with every speech. One reason for this is that Wolf Larsen seems to
have taken a fancy to him. It is an unprecedented thing, I take it, for a
captain to be chummy with the cook; but this is certainly what Wolf Larsen is
doing. Two or three times he put his head into the galley and chaffed Mugridge
good-naturedly, and once, this afternoon, he stood by the break of the poop and
chatted with him for fully fifteen minutes. When it was over, and Mugridge was
back in the galley, he became greasily radiant, and went about his work,
humming coster songs in a nerve-racking and discordant falsetto.</p>
<p>“I always get along with the officers,” he remarked to me in a
confidential tone. “I know the w’y, I do, to myke myself
uppreci-yted. There was my last skipper—w’y I thought nothin’
of droppin’ down in the cabin for a little chat and a friendly glass.
‘Mugridge,’ sez ’e to me, ‘Mugridge,’ sez
’e, ‘you’ve missed yer vokytion.’ ‘An’
’ow’s that?’ sez I. ‘Yer should ’a been born a
gentleman, an’ never ’ad to work for yer livin’.’ God
strike me dead, ’Ump, if that ayn’t wot ’e sez, an’ me
a-sittin’ there in ’is own cabin, jolly-like an’ comfortable,
a-smokin’ ’is cigars an’ drinkin’ ’is rum.”</p>
<p>This chitter-chatter drove me to distraction. I never heard a voice I hated so.
His oily, insinuating tones, his greasy smile and his monstrous self-conceit
grated on my nerves till sometimes I was all in a tremble. Positively, he was
the most disgusting and loathsome person I have ever met. The filth of his
cooking was indescribable; and, as he cooked everything that was eaten aboard,
I was compelled to select what I ate with great circumspection, choosing from
the least dirty of his concoctions.</p>
<p>My hands bothered me a great deal, unused as they were to work. The nails were
discoloured and black, while the skin was already grained with dirt which even
a scrubbing-brush could not remove. Then blisters came, in a painful and
never-ending procession, and I had a great burn on my forearm, acquired by
losing my balance in a roll of the ship and pitching against the galley stove.
Nor was my knee any better. The swelling had not gone down, and the cap was
still up on edge. Hobbling about on it from morning till night was not helping
it any. What I needed was rest, if it were ever to get well.</p>
<p>Rest! I never before knew the meaning of the word. I had been resting all my
life and did not know it. But now, could I sit still for one half-hour and do
nothing, not even think, it would be the most pleasurable thing in the world.
But it is a revelation, on the other hand. I shall be able to appreciate the
lives of the working people hereafter. I did not dream that work was so
terrible a thing. From half-past five in the morning till ten o’clock at
night I am everybody’s slave, with not one moment to myself, except such
as I can steal near the end of the second dog-watch. Let me pause for a minute
to look out over the sea sparkling in the sun, or to gaze at a sailor going
aloft to the gaff-topsails, or running out the bowsprit, and I am sure to hear
the hateful voice, “’Ere, you, ’Ump, no sodgerin’.
I’ve got my peepers on yer.”</p>
<p>There are signs of rampant bad temper in the steerage, and the gossip is going
around that Smoke and Henderson have had a fight. Henderson seems the best of
the hunters, a slow-going fellow, and hard to rouse; but roused he must have
been, for Smoke had a bruised and discoloured eye, and looked particularly
vicious when he came into the cabin for supper.</p>
<p>A cruel thing happened just before supper, indicative of the callousness and
brutishness of these men. There is one green hand in the crew, Harrison by
name, a clumsy-looking country boy, mastered, I imagine, by the spirit of
adventure, and making his first voyage. In the light baffling airs the schooner
had been tacking about a great deal, at which times the sails pass from one
side to the other and a man is sent aloft to shift over the fore-gaff-topsail.
In some way, when Harrison was aloft, the sheet jammed in the block through
which it runs at the end of the gaff. As I understood it, there were two ways
of getting it cleared,—first, by lowering the foresail, which was
comparatively easy and without danger; and second, by climbing out the
peak-halyards to the end of the gaff itself, an exceedingly hazardous
performance.</p>
<p>Johansen called out to Harrison to go out the halyards. It was patent to
everybody that the boy was afraid. And well he might be, eighty feet above the
deck, to trust himself on those thin and jerking ropes. Had there been a steady
breeze it would not have been so bad, but the <i>Ghost</i> was rolling emptily
in a long sea, and with each roll the canvas flapped and boomed and the
halyards slacked and jerked taut. They were capable of snapping a man off like
a fly from a whip-lash.</p>
<p>Harrison heard the order and understood what was demanded of him, but
hesitated. It was probably the first time he had been aloft in his life.
Johansen, who had caught the contagion of Wolf Larsen’s masterfulness,
burst out with a volley of abuse and curses.</p>
<p>“That’ll do, Johansen,” Wolf Larsen said brusquely.
“I’ll have you know that I do the swearing on this ship. If I need
your assistance, I’ll call you in.”</p>
<p>“Yes, sir,” the mate acknowledged submissively.</p>
<p>In the meantime Harrison had started out on the halyards. I was looking up from
the galley door, and I could see him trembling, as if with ague, in every limb.
He proceeded very slowly and cautiously, an inch at a time. Outlined against
the clear blue of the sky, he had the appearance of an enormous spider crawling
along the tracery of its web.</p>
<p>It was a slight uphill climb, for the foresail peaked high; and the halyards,
running through various blocks on the gaff and mast, gave him separate holds
for hands and feet. But the trouble lay in that the wind was not strong enough
nor steady enough to keep the sail full. When he was half-way out, the
<i>Ghost</i> took a long roll to windward and back again into the hollow
between two seas. Harrison ceased his progress and held on tightly. Eighty feet
beneath, I could see the agonized strain of his muscles as he gripped for very
life. The sail emptied and the gaff swung amid-ships. The halyards slackened,
and, though it all happened very quickly, I could see them sag beneath the
weight of his body. Then the gaff swung to the side with an abrupt swiftness,
the great sail boomed like a cannon, and the three rows of reef-points slatted
against the canvas like a volley of rifles. Harrison, clinging on, made the
giddy rush through the air. This rush ceased abruptly. The halyards became
instantly taut. It was the snap of the whip. His clutch was broken. One hand
was torn loose from its hold. The other lingered desperately for a moment, and
followed. His body pitched out and down, but in some way he managed to save
himself with his legs. He was hanging by them, head downward. A quick effort
brought his hands up to the halyards again; but he was a long time regaining
his former position, where he hung, a pitiable object.</p>
<p>“I’ll bet he has no appetite for supper,” I heard Wolf
Larsen’s voice, which came to me from around the corner of the galley.
“Stand from under, you, Johansen! Watch out! Here she comes!”</p>
<p>In truth, Harrison was very sick, as a person is sea-sick; and for a long time
he clung to his precarious perch without attempting to move. Johansen, however,
continued violently to urge him on to the completion of his task.</p>
<p>“It is a shame,” I heard Johnson growling in painfully slow and
correct English. He was standing by the main rigging, a few feet away from me.
“The boy is willing enough. He will learn if he has a chance. But this
is—” He paused awhile, for the word “murder” was his
final judgment.</p>
<p>“Hist, will ye!” Louis whispered to him, “For the love iv
your mother hold your mouth!”</p>
<p>But Johnson, looking on, still continued his grumbling.</p>
<p>“Look here,” the hunter Standish spoke to Wolf Larsen,
“that’s my boat-puller, and I don’t want to lose him.”</p>
<p>“That’s all right, Standish,” was the reply.
“He’s your boat-puller when you’ve got him in the boat; but
he’s my sailor when I have him aboard, and I’ll do what I damn well
please with him.”</p>
<p>“But that’s no reason—” Standish began in a torrent of
speech.</p>
<p>“That’ll do, easy as she goes,” Wolf Larsen counselled back.
“I’ve told you what’s what, and let it stop at that. The
man’s mine, and I’ll make soup of him and eat it if I want
to.”</p>
<p>There was an angry gleam in the hunter’s eye, but he turned on his heel
and entered the steerage companion-way, where he remained, looking upward. All
hands were on deck now, and all eyes were aloft, where a human life was at
grapples with death. The callousness of these men, to whom industrial
organization gave control of the lives of other men, was appalling. I, who had
lived out of the whirl of the world, had never dreamed that its work was
carried on in such fashion. Life had always seemed a peculiarly sacred thing,
but here it counted for nothing, was a cipher in the arithmetic of commerce. I
must say, however, that the sailors themselves were sympathetic, as instance
the case of Johnson; but the masters (the hunters and the captain) were
heartlessly indifferent. Even the protest of Standish arose out of the fact
that he did not wish to lose his boat-puller. Had it been some other
hunter’s boat-puller, he, like them, would have been no more than amused.</p>
<p>But to return to Harrison. It took Johansen, insulting and reviling the poor
wretch, fully ten minutes to get him started again. A little later he made the
end of the gaff, where, astride the spar itself, he had a better chance for
holding on. He cleared the sheet, and was free to return, slightly downhill
now, along the halyards to the mast. But he had lost his nerve. Unsafe as was
his present position, he was loath to forsake it for the more unsafe position
on the halyards.</p>
<p>He looked along the airy path he must traverse, and then down to the deck. His
eyes were wide and staring, and he was trembling violently. I had never seen
fear so strongly stamped upon a human face. Johansen called vainly for him to
come down. At any moment he was liable to be snapped off the gaff, but he was
helpless with fright. Wolf Larsen, walking up and down with Smoke and in
conversation, took no more notice of him, though he cried sharply, once, to the
man at the wheel:</p>
<p>“You’re off your course, my man! Be careful, unless you’re
looking for trouble!”</p>
<p>“Ay, ay, sir,” the helmsman responded, putting a couple of spokes
down.</p>
<p>He had been guilty of running the <i>Ghost</i> several points off her course in
order that what little wind there was should fill the foresail and hold it
steady. He had striven to help the unfortunate Harrison at the risk of
incurring Wolf Larsen’s anger.</p>
<p>The time went by, and the suspense, to me, was terrible. Thomas Mugridge, on
the other hand, considered it a laughable affair, and was continually bobbing
his head out the galley door to make jocose remarks. How I hated him! And how
my hatred for him grew and grew, during that fearful time, to cyclopean
dimensions. For the first time in my life I experienced the desire to
murder—“saw red,” as some of our picturesque writers phrase
it. Life in general might still be sacred, but life in the particular case of
Thomas Mugridge had become very profane indeed. I was frightened when I became
conscious that I was seeing red, and the thought flashed through my mind: was
I, too, becoming tainted by the brutality of my environment?—I, who even
in the most flagrant crimes had denied the justice and righteousness of capital
punishment?</p>
<p>Fully half-an-hour went by, and then I saw Johnson and Louis in some sort of
altercation. It ended with Johnson flinging off Louis’s detaining arm and
starting forward. He crossed the deck, sprang into the fore rigging, and began
to climb. But the quick eye of Wolf Larsen caught him.</p>
<p>“Here, you, what are you up to?” he cried.</p>
<p>Johnson’s ascent was arrested. He looked his captain in the eyes and
replied slowly:</p>
<p>“I am going to get that boy down.”</p>
<p>“You’ll get down out of that rigging, and damn lively about it!
D’ye hear? Get down!”</p>
<p>Johnson hesitated, but the long years of obedience to the masters of ships
overpowered him, and he dropped sullenly to the deck and went on forward.</p>
<p>At half after five I went below to set the cabin table, but I hardly knew what
I did, for my eyes and my brain were filled with the vision of a man,
white-faced and trembling, comically like a bug, clinging to the thrashing
gaff. At six o’clock, when I served supper, going on deck to get the food
from the galley, I saw Harrison, still in the same position. The conversation
at the table was of other things. Nobody seemed interested in the wantonly
imperilled life. But making an extra trip to the galley a little later, I was
gladdened by the sight of Harrison staggering weakly from the rigging to the
forecastle scuttle. He had finally summoned the courage to descend.</p>
<p>Before closing this incident, I must give a scrap of conversation I had with
Wolf Larsen in the cabin, while I was washing the dishes.</p>
<p>“You were looking squeamish this afternoon,” he began. “What
was the matter?”</p>
<p>I could see that he knew what had made me possibly as sick as Harrison, that he
was trying to draw me, and I answered, “It was because of the brutal
treatment of that boy.”</p>
<p>He gave a short laugh. “Like sea-sickness, I suppose. Some men are
subject to it, and others are not.”</p>
<p>“Not so,” I objected.</p>
<p>“Just so,” he went on. “The earth is as full of brutality as
the sea is full of motion. And some men are made sick by the one, and some by
the other. That’s the only reason.”</p>
<p>“But you, who make a mock of human life, don’t you place any value
upon it whatever?” I demanded.</p>
<p>“Value? What value?” He looked at me, and though his eyes were
steady and motionless, there seemed a cynical smile in them. “What kind
of value? How do you measure it? Who values it?”</p>
<p>“I do,” I made answer.</p>
<p>“Then what is it worth to you? Another man’s life, I mean. Come
now, what is it worth?”</p>
<p>The value of life? How could I put a tangible value upon it? Somehow, I, who
have always had expression, lacked expression when with Wolf Larsen. I have
since determined that a part of it was due to the man’s personality, but
that the greater part was due to his totally different outlook. Unlike other
materialists I had met and with whom I had something in common to start on, I
had nothing in common with him. Perhaps, also, it was the elemental simplicity
of his mind that baffled me. He drove so directly to the core of the matter,
divesting a question always of all superfluous details, and with such an air of
finality, that I seemed to find myself struggling in deep water, with no
footing under me. Value of life? How could I answer the question on the spur of
the moment? The sacredness of life I had accepted as axiomatic. That it was
intrinsically valuable was a truism I had never questioned. But when he
challenged the truism I was speechless.</p>
<p>“We were talking about this yesterday,” he said. “I held that
life was a ferment, a yeasty something which devoured life that it might live,
and that living was merely successful piggishness. Why, if there is anything in
supply and demand, life is the cheapest thing in the world. There is only so
much water, so much earth, so much air; but the life that is demanding to be
born is limitless. Nature is a spendthrift. Look at the fish and their millions
of eggs. For that matter, look at you and me. In our loins are the
possibilities of millions of lives. Could we but find time and opportunity and
utilize the last bit and every bit of the unborn life that is in us, we could
become the fathers of nations and populate continents. Life? Bah! It has no
value. Of cheap things it is the cheapest. Everywhere it goes begging. Nature
spills it out with a lavish hand. Where there is room for one life, she sows a
thousand lives, and it’s life eats life till the strongest and most
piggish life is left.”</p>
<p>“You have read Darwin,” I said. “But you read him
misunderstandingly when you conclude that the struggle for existence sanctions
your wanton destruction of life.”</p>
<p>He shrugged his shoulders. “You know you only mean that in relation to
human life, for of the flesh and the fowl and the fish you destroy as much as I
or any other man. And human life is in no wise different, though you feel it is
and think that you reason why it is. Why should I be parsimonious with this
life which is cheap and without value? There are more sailors than there are
ships on the sea for them, more workers than there are factories or machines
for them. Why, you who live on the land know that you house your poor people in
the slums of cities and loose famine and pestilence upon them, and that there
still remain more poor people, dying for want of a crust of bread and a bit of
meat (which is life destroyed), than you know what to do with. Have you ever
seen the London dockers fighting like wild beasts for a chance to work?”</p>
<p>He started for the companion stairs, but turned his head for a final word.
“Do you know the only value life has is what life puts upon itself? And
it is of course over-estimated since it is of necessity prejudiced in its own
favour. Take that man I had aloft. He held on as if he were a precious thing, a
treasure beyond diamonds or rubies. To you? No. To me? Not at all. To himself?
Yes. But I do not accept his estimate. He sadly overrates himself. There is
plenty more life demanding to be born. Had he fallen and dripped his brains
upon the deck like honey from the comb, there would have been no loss to the
world. He was worth nothing to the world. The supply is too large. To himself
only was he of value, and to show how fictitious even this value was, being
dead he is unconscious that he has lost himself. He alone rated himself beyond
diamonds and rubies. Diamonds and rubies are gone, spread out on the deck to be
washed away by a bucket of sea-water, and he does not even know that the
diamonds and rubies are gone. He does not lose anything, for with the loss of
himself he loses the knowledge of loss. Don’t you see? And what have you
to say?”</p>
<p>“That you are at least consistent,” was all I could say, and I went
on washing the dishes.</p>
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