<h2><SPAN name="chap32"></SPAN>CHAPTER XXXII.</h2>
<p>I awoke, oppressed by a mysterious sensation. There seemed something missing in
my environment. But the mystery and oppressiveness vanished after the first few
seconds of waking, when I identified the missing something as the wind. I had
fallen asleep in that state of nerve tension with which one meets the
continuous shock of sound or movement, and I had awakened, still tense, bracing
myself to meet the pressure of something which no longer bore upon me.</p>
<p>It was the first night I had spent under cover in several months, and I lay
luxuriously for some minutes under my blankets (for once not wet with fog or
spray), analysing, first, the effect produced upon me by the cessation of the
wind, and next, the joy which was mine from resting on the mattress made by
Maud’s hands. When I had dressed and opened the door, I heard the waves
still lapping on the beach, garrulously attesting the fury of the night. It was
a clear day, and the sun was shining. I had slept late, and I stepped outside
with sudden energy, bent upon making up lost time as befitted a dweller on
Endeavour Island.</p>
<p>And when outside, I stopped short. I believed my eyes without question, and yet
I was for the moment stunned by what they disclosed to me. There, on the beach,
not fifty feet away, bow on, dismasted, was a black-hulled vessel. Masts and
booms, tangled with shrouds, sheets, and rent canvas, were rubbing gently
alongside. I could have rubbed my eyes as I looked. There was the home-made
galley we had built, the familiar break of the poop, the low yacht-cabin
scarcely rising above the rail. It was the <i>Ghost</i>.</p>
<p>What freak of fortune had brought it here—here of all spots? what chance
of chances? I looked at the bleak, inaccessible wall at my back and knew the
profundity of despair. Escape was hopeless, out of the question. I thought of
Maud, asleep there in the hut we had reared; I remembered her
“Good-night, Humphrey”; “my woman, my mate,” went
ringing through my brain, but now, alas, it was a knell that sounded. Then
everything went black before my eyes.</p>
<p>Possibly it was the fraction of a second, but I had no knowledge of how long an
interval had lapsed before I was myself again. There lay the <i>Ghost</i>, bow
on to the beach, her splintered bowsprit projecting over the sand, her tangled
spars rubbing against her side to the lift of the crooning waves. Something
must be done, must be done.</p>
<p>It came upon me suddenly, as strange, that nothing moved aboard. Wearied from
the night of struggle and wreck, all hands were yet asleep, I thought. My next
thought was that Maud and I might yet escape. If we could take to the boat and
make round the point before any one awoke? I would call her and start. My hand
was lifted at her door to knock, when I recollected the smallness of the
island. We could never hide ourselves upon it. There was nothing for us but the
wide raw ocean. I thought of our snug little huts, our supplies of meat and oil
and moss and firewood, and I knew that we could never survive the wintry sea
and the great storms which were to come.</p>
<p>So I stood, with hesitant knuckle, without her door. It was impossible,
impossible. A wild thought of rushing in and killing her as she slept rose in
my mind. And then, in a flash, the better solution came to me. All hands were
asleep. Why not creep aboard the <i>Ghost</i>,—well I knew the way to
Wolf Larsen’s bunk,—and kill him in his sleep? After
that—well, we would see. But with him dead there was time and space in
which to prepare to do other things; and besides, whatever new situation arose,
it could not possibly be worse than the present one.</p>
<p>My knife was at my hip. I returned to my hut for the shot-gun, made sure it was
loaded, and went down to the <i>Ghost</i>. With some difficulty, and at the
expense of a wetting to the waist, I climbed aboard. The forecastle scuttle was
open. I paused to listen for the breathing of the men, but there was no
breathing. I almost gasped as the thought came to me: What if the <i>Ghost</i>
is deserted? I listened more closely. There was no sound. I cautiously
descended the ladder. The place had the empty and musty feel and smell usual to
a dwelling no longer inhabited. Everywhere was a thick litter of discarded and
ragged garments, old sea-boots, leaky oilskins—all the worthless
forecastle dunnage of a long voyage.</p>
<p>Abandoned hastily, was my conclusion, as I ascended to the deck. Hope was alive
again in my breast, and I looked about me with greater coolness. I noted that
the boats were missing. The steerage told the same tale as the forecastle. The
hunters had packed their belongings with similar haste. The <i>Ghost</i> was
deserted. It was Maud’s and mine. I thought of the ship’s stores
and the lazarette beneath the cabin, and the idea came to me of surprising Maud
with something nice for breakfast.</p>
<p>The reaction from my fear, and the knowledge that the terrible deed I had come
to do was no longer necessary, made me boyish and eager. I went up the steerage
companion-way two steps at a time, with nothing distinct in my mind except joy
and the hope that Maud would sleep on until the surprise breakfast was quite
ready for her. As I rounded the galley, a new satisfaction was mine at thought
of all the splendid cooking utensils inside. I sprang up the break of the poop,
and saw—Wolf Larsen. What of my impetus and the stunning surprise, I
clattered three or four steps along the deck before I could stop myself. He was
standing in the companion-way, only his head and shoulders visible, staring
straight at me. His arms were resting on the half-open slide. He made no
movement whatever—simply stood there, staring at me.</p>
<p>I began to tremble. The old stomach sickness clutched me. I put one hand on the
edge of the house to steady myself. My lips seemed suddenly dry and I moistened
them against the need of speech. Nor did I for an instant take my eyes off him.
Neither of us spoke. There was something ominous in his silence, his
immobility. All my old fear of him returned and my new fear was increased an
hundred-fold. And still we stood, the pair of us, staring at each other.</p>
<p>I was aware of the demand for action, and, my old helplessness strong upon me,
I was waiting for him to take the initiative. Then, as the moments went by, it
came to me that the situation was analogous to the one in which I had
approached the long-maned bull, my intention of clubbing obscured by fear until
it became a desire to make him run. So it was at last impressed upon me that I
was there, not to have Wolf Larsen take the initiative, but to take it myself.</p>
<p>I cocked both barrels and levelled the shot-gun at him. Had he moved, attempted
to drop down the companion-way, I know I would have shot him. But he stood
motionless and staring as before. And as I faced him, with levelled gun shaking
in my hands, I had time to note the worn and haggard appearance of his face. It
was as if some strong anxiety had wasted it. The cheeks were sunken, and there
was a wearied, puckered expression on the brow. And it seemed to me that his
eyes were strange, not only the expression, but the physical seeming, as though
the optic nerves and supporting muscles had suffered strain and slightly
twisted the eyeballs.</p>
<p>All this I saw, and my brain now working rapidly, I thought a thousand
thoughts; and yet I could not pull the triggers. I lowered the gun and stepped
to the corner of the cabin, primarily to relieve the tension on my nerves and
to make a new start, and incidentally to be closer. Again I raised the gun. He
was almost at arm’s length. There was no hope for him. I was resolved.
There was no possible chance of missing him, no matter how poor my
marksmanship. And yet I wrestled with myself and could not pull the triggers.</p>
<p>“Well?” he demanded impatiently.</p>
<p>I strove vainly to force my fingers down on the triggers, and vainly I strove
to say something.</p>
<p>“Why don’t you shoot?” he asked.</p>
<p>I cleared my throat of a huskiness which prevented speech. “Hump,”
he said slowly, “you can’t do it. You are not exactly afraid. You
are impotent. Your conventional morality is stronger than you. You are the
slave to the opinions which have credence among the people you have known and
have read about. Their code has been drummed into your head from the time you
lisped, and in spite of your philosophy, and of what I have taught you, it
won’t let you kill an unarmed, unresisting man.”</p>
<p>“I know it,” I said hoarsely.</p>
<p>“And you know that I would kill an unarmed man as readily as I would
smoke a cigar,” he went on. “You know me for what I am,—my
worth in the world by your standard. You have called me snake, tiger, shark,
monster, and Caliban. And yet, you little rag puppet, you little echoing
mechanism, you are unable to kill me as you would a snake or a shark, because I
have hands, feet, and a body shaped somewhat like yours. Bah! I had hoped
better things of you, Hump.”</p>
<p>He stepped out of the companion-way and came up to me.</p>
<p>“Put down that gun. I want to ask you some questions. I haven’t had
a chance to look around yet. What place is this? How is the <i>Ghost</i> lying?
How did you get wet? Where’s Maud?—I beg your pardon, Miss
Brewster—or should I say, ‘Mrs. Van Weyden’?”</p>
<p>I had backed away from him, almost weeping at my inability to shoot him, but
not fool enough to put down the gun. I hoped, desperately, that he might commit
some hostile act, attempt to strike me or choke me; for in such way only I knew
I could be stirred to shoot.</p>
<p>“This is Endeavour Island,” I said.</p>
<p>“Never heard of it,” he broke in.</p>
<p>“At least, that’s our name for it,” I amended.</p>
<p>“Our?” he queried. “Who’s our?”</p>
<p>“Miss Brewster and myself. And the <i>Ghost</i> is lying, as you can see
for yourself, bow on to the beach.”</p>
<p>“There are seals here,” he said. “They woke me up with their
barking, or I’d be sleeping yet. I heard them when I drove in last night.
They were the first warning that I was on a lee shore. It’s a rookery,
the kind of a thing I’ve hunted for years. Thanks to my brother Death,
I’ve lighted on a fortune. It’s a mint. What’s its
bearings?”</p>
<p>“Haven’t the least idea,” I said. “But you ought to
know quite closely. What were your last observations?”</p>
<p>He smiled inscrutably, but did not answer.</p>
<p>“Well, where’s all hands?” I asked. “How does it come
that you are alone?”</p>
<p>I was prepared for him again to set aside my question, and was surprised at the
readiness of his reply.</p>
<p>“My brother got me inside forty-eight hours, and through no fault of
mine. Boarded me in the night with only the watch on deck. Hunters went back on
me. He gave them a bigger lay. Heard him offering it. Did it right before me.
Of course the crew gave me the go-by. That was to be expected. All hands went
over the side, and there I was, marooned on my own vessel. It was Death’s
turn, and it’s all in the family anyway.”</p>
<p>“But how did you lose the masts?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Walk over and examine those lanyards,” he said, pointing to where
the mizzen-rigging should have been.</p>
<p>“They have been cut with a knife!” I exclaimed.</p>
<p>“Not quite,” he laughed. “It was a neater job. Look
again.”</p>
<p>I looked. The lanyards had been almost severed, with just enough left to hold
the shrouds till some severe strain should be put upon them.</p>
<p>“Cooky did that,” he laughed again. “I know, though I
didn’t spot him at it. Kind of evened up the score a bit.”</p>
<p>“Good for Mugridge!” I cried.</p>
<p>“Yes, that’s what I thought when everything went over the side.
Only I said it on the other side of my mouth.”</p>
<p>“But what were you doing while all this was going on?” I asked.</p>
<p>“My best, you may be sure, which wasn’t much under the
circumstances.”</p>
<p>I turned to re-examine Thomas Mugridge’s work.</p>
<p>“I guess I’ll sit down and take the sunshine,” I heard Wolf
Larsen saying.</p>
<p>There was a hint, just a slight hint, of physical feebleness in his voice, and
it was so strange that I looked quickly at him. His hand was sweeping nervously
across his face, as though he were brushing away cobwebs. I was puzzled. The
whole thing was so unlike the Wolf Larsen I had known.</p>
<p>“How are your headaches?” I asked.</p>
<p>“They still trouble me,” was his answer. “I think I have one
coming on now.”</p>
<p>He slipped down from his sitting posture till he lay on the deck. Then he
rolled over on his side, his head resting on the biceps of the under arm, the
forearm shielding his eyes from the sun. I stood regarding him wonderingly.</p>
<p>“Now’s your chance, Hump,” he said.</p>
<p>“I don’t understand,” I lied, for I thoroughly understood.</p>
<p>“Oh, nothing,” he added softly, as if he were drowsing; “only
you’ve got me where you want me.”</p>
<p>“No, I haven’t,” I retorted; “for I want you a few
thousand miles away from here.”</p>
<p>He chuckled, and thereafter spoke no more. He did not stir as I passed by him
and went down into the cabin. I lifted the trap in the floor, but for some
moments gazed dubiously into the darkness of the lazarette beneath. I hesitated
to descend. What if his lying down were a ruse? Pretty, indeed, to be caught
there like a rat. I crept softly up the companion-way and peeped at him. He was
lying as I had left him. Again I went below; but before I dropped into the
lazarette I took the precaution of casting down the door in advance. At least
there would be no lid to the trap. But it was all needless. I regained the
cabin with a store of jams, sea-biscuits, canned meats, and such
things,—all I could carry,—and replaced the trap-door.</p>
<p>A peep at Wolf Larsen showed me that he had not moved. A bright thought struck
me. I stole into his state-room and possessed myself of his revolvers. There
were no other weapons, though I thoroughly ransacked the three remaining
state-rooms. To make sure, I returned and went through the steerage and
forecastle, and in the galley gathered up all the sharp meat and vegetable
knives. Then I bethought me of the great yachtsman’s knife he always
carried, and I came to him and spoke to him, first softly, then loudly. He did
not move. I bent over and took it from his pocket. I breathed more freely. He
had no arms with which to attack me from a distance; while I, armed, could
always forestall him should he attempt to grapple me with his terrible gorilla
arms.</p>
<p>Filling a coffee-pot and frying-pan with part of my plunder, and taking some
chinaware from the cabin pantry, I left Wolf Larsen lying in the sun and went
ashore.</p>
<p>Maud was still asleep. I blew up the embers (we had not yet arranged a winter
kitchen), and quite feverishly cooked the breakfast. Toward the end, I heard
her moving about within the hut, making her toilet. Just as all was ready and
the coffee poured, the door opened and she came forth.</p>
<p>“It’s not fair of you,” was her greeting. “You are
usurping one of my prerogatives. You know you agreed that the cooking should
be mine, and—”</p>
<p>“But just this once,” I pleaded.</p>
<p>“If you promise not to do it again,” she smiled. “Unless, of
course, you have grown tired of my poor efforts.”</p>
<p>To my delight she never once looked toward the beach, and I maintained the
banter with such success all unconsciously she sipped coffee from the china
cup, ate fried evaporated potatoes, and spread marmalade on her biscuit. But it
could not last. I saw the surprise that came over her. She had discovered the
china plate from which she was eating. She looked over the breakfast, noting
detail after detail. Then she looked at me, and her face turned slowly toward
the beach.</p>
<p>“Humphrey!” she said.</p>
<p>The old unnamable terror mounted into her eyes.</p>
<p>“Is—he?” she quavered.</p>
<p>I nodded my head.</p>
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