<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<h1><span class="smcap">Aunt Judy’s Tales</span></h1>
<p style="text-align: center">BY MRS. ALFRED GATTY,<br/>
<span class="GutSmall">AUTHOR OF “PARABLES FROM</span><br/>
<span class="GutSmall">NATURE,” ETC.</span></p>
<p style="text-align: center">ILLUSTRATED BY CLARA S. LANE.</p>
<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall">SECOND
EDITION.</span></p>
<p style="text-align: center">
<SPAN href="images/tpb.jpg">
<ANTIMG alt="Decorative graphic of bells" title= "Decorative graphic of bells" src="images/tps.jpg" /></SPAN></p>
<p style="text-align: center">LONDON:</p>
<p style="text-align: center">BELL AND DALDY, 186, FLEET
STREET.<br/>
1859.</p>
<div class="gapspace"> </div>
<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall"><i>The Right
of Translation is reserved</i></span><span class="GutSmall">.</span></p>
<div class="gapspace"> </div>
<p style="text-align: center">TO THE “LITTLE ONES”<br/>
<span class="GutSmall">IN MANY HOMES,</span></p>
<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall">THIS
VOLUME</span><br/>
<span class="GutSmall">IS</span><br/>
<span class="GutSmall">DEDICATED.</span></p>
<p style="text-align: right">M. G.</p>
<h2>CONTENTS.</h2>
<table>
<tr>
<td><p> </p>
</td>
<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="GutSmall">Page</span></p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><p><span class="smcap">The little Victims</span></p>
</td>
<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="indexpageno"><SPAN href="#page1">1</SPAN></span></p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><p><span class="smcap">Vegetables out of Place</span></p>
</td>
<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="indexpageno"><SPAN href="#page26">26</SPAN></span></p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><p><span class="smcap">Cook Stories</span></p>
</td>
<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="indexpageno"><SPAN href="#page48">48</SPAN></span></p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><p><span class="smcap">Rabbits’ Tails</span></p>
</td>
<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="indexpageno"><SPAN href="#page77">77</SPAN></span></p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><p><span class="smcap">Out of the Way</span></p>
</td>
<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="indexpageno"><SPAN href="#page104">104</SPAN></span></p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><p><span class="smcap">Nothing to do</span></p>
</td>
<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="indexpageno"><SPAN href="#page141">141</SPAN></span></p>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
<p style="text-align: center">
<SPAN href="images/p1b.jpg">
<ANTIMG alt="Aunt Judy and the Little ones" title= "Aunt Judy and the Little ones" src="images/p1s.jpg" /></SPAN></p>
<h2><SPAN name="page1"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>THE LITTLE VICTIMS.</h2>
<blockquote><p>“Save our blessings, Master, save,<br/>
From the blight of thankless eye.”</p>
<p style="text-align: right"><i>Lyra Innocentium</i>.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">There</span> is not a more charming sight
in the domestic world, than that of an elder girl in a large
family, amusing what are called the <i>little ones</i>.</p>
<p>How could mamma have ventured upon that cosy nap in the
arm-chair by the fire, if she had been harassed by wondering what
the children were about? Whereas, as it was, she had
overheard No. 8 begging the one they all called “Aunt
Judy,” to come and tell them a story, and she had beheld
Aunt Judy’s nod of consent; whereupon she had shut her
eyes, and composed herself to sleep quite complacently, under the
pleasant conviction that all things were sure to be in a state of
peace and security, so long as the children were listening to one
of those curious stories of Aunt Judy’s, in which, with so
much drollery and amusement, there was sure to be mixed up some
odd scraps of information, or bits of good advice.</p>
<p>So, mamma being asleep on one side of the fire, and papa
reading the newspaper on the other, Aunt Judy and No. 8
noiselessly left the room, and repaired to the large
red-curtained dining-room, where the former sat down to concoct
her story, while the latter ran off to collect the little ones
together.</p>
<p>In less than five minutes’ time there was a stream of
noise along the passage—a bursting open of the door, and a
crowding round the fire, by which Aunt Judy sat.</p>
<p>The “little ones” had arrived in full force and
high expectation. We will not venture to state their
number. An order from Aunt Judy, that they should take
their seats quietly, was but imperfectly obeyed; and a certain
amount of hustling and grumbling ensued, which betrayed a rather
quarrelsome tendency.</p>
<p>At last, however, the large circle was formed, and the bright
firelight danced over sunny curls and eager faces. Aunt
Judy glanced her eye round the group; but whatever her opinion as
an artist might have been of its general beauty, she was by no
means satisfied with the result of her inspection.</p>
<p>“No. 6 and No. 7,” cried she, “you are not
fit to listen to a story at present. You have come with
dirty hands.”</p>
<p>No. 6 frowned, and No. 7 broke out at once into a howl; he had
washed his hands ever so short a time ago, and had done nothing
since but play at knuckle-bones on the floor! Surely people
needn’t wash their hands every ten minutes! It was
very hard!</p>
<p>Aunt Judy had rather a logical turn of mind, so she set about
expounding to the “little ones” in general, and to
Nos. 6 and 7 in particular, that the proper time for washing
people’s hands was when their hands were dirty; no matter
how lately the operation had been performed before. Such,
at least, she said, was the custom in England, and everyone ought
to be proud of belonging to so clean and respectable a
country. She, therefore, insisted that Nos. 6 and 7 should
retire up-stairs and perform the necessary ablution, or otherwise
they would be turned out, and not allowed to listen to the
story.</p>
<p>Nos. 6 and 7 were rather restive. The truth was, it had
been one of those unlucky days which now and then will occur in
families, in which everything seemed to be perverse and go
askew. It was a dark, cold, rainy day in November, and
going out had been impossible. The elder boys had worried,
and the younger ones had cried. It was Saturday too, and
the maids were scouring in all directions, waking every echo in
the back-premises by the grating of sand-stone on the flags; and
they had been a good deal discomposed by the family effort to
play at “Wolf” in the passages. Mamma had been
at accounts all the morning, trying to find out some magical
corner in which expenses could be reduced between then and the
arrival of Christmas bills; and, moreover, it was a half-holiday,
and the children had, as they call it, nothing to do.</p>
<p>So Nos. 6 and 7, who had been vexed about several other little
matters before, during the course of the day, broke out now on
the subject of the washing of their hands.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy was inexorable however—inexorable though cool;
and the rest got impatient at the delay which the debate
occasioned: so, partly by coaxing, and partly by the threat of
being shut out from hearing the story, Nos. 6 and 7 were at last
prevailed upon to go up-stairs and wash their grim little paws
into that delicate shell-like pink, which is the characteristic
of juvenile fingers when clean.</p>
<p>As they went out, however, they murmured, in whimpered tones,
that they were sure it was <i>very hard</i>!</p>
<p>After their departure, Aunt Judy requested the rest not to
talk, and a complete silence ensued, during which one or two of
the youngest evidently concluded that she was composing her
story, for they stared at her with all their might, as if to
discover how she did it.</p>
<p>Meantime the rain beat violently against the panes, and the
red curtains swayed to and fro from the effect of the wind,
which, in spite of tolerable woodwork, found its way through the
divisions of the windows. There was something very dreary
in the sound, and very odd in the varying shades of red which
appeared upon the curtains as they swerved backwards and forwards
in the firelight.</p>
<p>Several of the children observed it, but no one spoke until
the footsteps of Nos. 6 and 7 were heard approaching the door, on
which a little girl ventured to whisper, “I’m very
glad I’m not out in the wind and rain;” and a boy
made answer, “Why, who would be so silly as to think of
going out in the wind and rain? Nobody, of
course!”</p>
<p>At that moment Nos. 6 and 7 entered, and took their places on
two little Derby chairs, having previously showed their pink
hands in sombre silence to Aunt Judy, whereupon Aunt Judy turned
herself so as to face the whole group, and then began her story
as follows:—</p>
<p>“There were once upon a time eight little Victims, who
were shut up in a large stone-building, where they were watched
night and day by a set of huge grown-up keepers, who made them do
whatever they chose.”</p>
<p>“Don’t make it <i>too</i> sad, Aunt Judy,”
murmured No. 8, half in a tremble already.</p>
<p>“You needn’t be frightened, No. 8,” was the
answer; “my stories always end well.”</p>
<p>“I’m so glad,” chuckled No. 8 with a grin,
as he clapped one little fat hand down upon the other on his lap
in complete satisfaction. “Go on, please.”</p>
<p>“Was the large stone-building a prison, Aunt
Judy?” inquired No. 7.</p>
<p>“That depends upon your ideas of a prison,”
answered Aunt Judy. “What do you suppose a prison
is?”</p>
<p>“Oh, a great big place with walls all round, where
people are locked up, and can’t go in and out as they
choose.”</p>
<p>“Very well. Then I think you may be allowed to
call the place in which the little Victims were kept a prison,
for it certainly was a great big place with walls all round, and
they were locked up at night, and not allowed to go in and out as
they chose.”</p>
<p>“Poor things,” murmured No. 8; but he consoled
himself by recollecting that the story was to end well.</p>
<p>“Aunt Judy, before you go on, do tell us what
<i>victims</i> are? Are they fairies, or what? I
don’t know.”</p>
<p>This was the request of No. 5, who was rather more thoughtful
than the rest, and was apt now and then to delay a story by his
inquiring turn of mind.</p>
<p>No. 6 was in a hurry to hear some more, and nudged No. 5 to
make him be quiet; but Aunt Judy interposed; said she did not
like to tell stories to people who didn’t care to know what
they meant, and declared that No. 5 was quite right in asking
what a victim was.</p>
<p>“A victim,” said she, “was the creature
which the old heathens used to offer up as a sacrifice, after
they had gained a victory in battle. You all remember I
dare say,” continued she, “what a sacrifice is, and
have heard about Abel’s sacrifice of the firstlings of his
flock.”</p>
<p>The children nodded assent, and Aunt Judy went on:—</p>
<p>“No such sacrifices are ever offered up now by us
Christians, and so there are no more real <i>victims</i>
now. But we still use the word, and call any creature a
victim who is ill-used, or hurt, or destroyed by somebody
else.</p>
<p>“If you, any of you, were to worry or kill the cat, for
instance, then the cat would be called <i>the victim of your
cruelty</i>; and in the same manner the eight little Victims I am
going to tell you about were the victims of the whims and cruel
prejudices of those who had the charge of them.</p>
<p>“And now, before I proceed any further, I am going to
establish a rule, that whenever I tell you anything very sad
about the little Victims, you shall all of you groan aloud
together. So groan here, if you please, now that you quite
understand what a victim is.”</p>
<p>Aunt Judy glanced round the circle, and they all groaned
together to order, led off by Nos. 3 and 4, who did not, it must
be owned, look in a very mournful state while they performed the
ceremony.</p>
<p>It was wonderful what good that groan did them all! It
seemed to clear off half the troubles of the day, and at its
conclusion a smile was visible on every face.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy then proceeded:—</p>
<p>“I do not want to make you cry too much, but I will tell
you of the miseries the captive victims underwent in the course
of one single day, and then you will be able to judge for
yourselves what a life they led together.</p>
<p>“One of their heaviest miseries happened every
evening. It was the misery of <i>going to bed</i>.
Perhaps now you may think it sounds odd that going to bed should
be called a misery. But you shall hear how it was.</p>
<p>“In the evening, when all the doors were safely locked
and bolted, so that no one could get away, the little Victims
were summoned down-stairs, and brought into a room where some of
the keepers were sure to be sitting in the greatest luxury.
There was generally a warm fire on the hearth, and a beautiful
lamp on the table, which shed an agreeable light around, and made
everything look so pretty and gay, the hearts of the poor
innocent Victims always rose at the sight.</p>
<p>“Sometimes there would be a huge visitor or two present,
who would now and then take the Victims on their knees, and say
all manner of entertaining things to them. Or there would
be nice games for them to play at. Or the keepers
themselves would kiss them, and call them kind names, as if they
really loved them. How nice all this sounds, does it
not? And it would have been nice, if the keepers would but
have let it last for ever. But that was just the one thing
they never would do, and the consequence was, that, whatever
pleasure they might have had, the wretched Victims always ended
by being dissatisfied and sad.</p>
<p>“And how could it be otherwise? Just when they
were at the height of enjoyment, just when everything was most
delightful, a horrible knock was sure to be heard at the door,
the meaning of which they all knew but too well. It was the
knock which summoned them to bed; and at such a moment you cannot
wonder that going to bed was felt to be a misfortune.</p>
<p>“Had there been a single one among them who was sleepy,
or tired, or ready for bed, there would have been some excuse for
the keepers; but as it was, there was none, for the little
Victims never knew what it was to feel tired or weary on those
occasions, and were always carried forcibly away before that
feeling came on.</p>
<p>“Of course, when the knock was heard, they would begin
to cry, and say that it was very hard, and that they didn’t
<i>want</i> to go to bed, and one went so far once as to add that
she <i>wouldn’t</i> go to bed.</p>
<p>“But it was all in vain. The little Victims might
as well have attempted to melt a stone wall as those hard-hearted
beings who had the charge of them.</p>
<p>“And now, my dears,” observed Aunt Judy, stopping
in her account, “this is of all others the exact moment at
which you ought to show your sympathy with the sufferers, and
groan.”</p>
<p>The little ones groaned accordingly, but in a very feeble
manner.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy shook her head.</p>
<p>“That groan is not half hearty enough for such a
misery. Don’t you think, if you tried hard, you could
groan a little louder?”</p>
<p>They did try, and succeeded a little better, but cast furtive
glances at each other immediately after.</p>
<p>“Were the beds very uncomfortable ones, Aunt
Judy?” inquired No. 8, in a subdued voice.</p>
<p>“You shall judge for yourself,” was the
answer. “They were raised off the floor upon legs, so
that no wind from under the door could get at them; and on the
flat bottom called the bed-stock, there was placed a thick strong
bag called a mattress, which was stuffed with some soft material
which made it springy and pleasant to touch or lie down
upon. The shape of it was a long square, or what may be
called a rectangular parallelogram. I strongly advise you
all to learn that word, for it is rather an amusing idea as one
steps into bed, to think that one is going to sleep upon a
parallelogram.”</p>
<p>Nos. 3 and 4 were here unable to contain themselves, but broke
into a peal of laughter. The little ones stared.</p>
<p>“Well,” resumed Aunt Judy, “for my part, I
think it’s a very nice thing to learn the ins and outs of
one’s own life; to consider how one’s bed is made,
and the why and wherefore of its shape and position. It is
a great pity to get so accustomed to things as not to know their
value till we lose them! But to proceed.</p>
<p>“On the top of this parallelogramatic mattress was laid
a soft blanket. On the top of that blanket, two white
sheets. On the top of the sheets, two or more warm
blankets, and on the top of the blankets, a spotted cover called
a counterpane.</p>
<p>“Now it was between the sheets that each little Victim
was laid, and such were the receptacles to which they were
unwillingly consigned, night after night of their lives!</p>
<p>“But I have not yet told you half the troubles of this
dreadful ‘going to bed.’ A good fire with a
large tub before it, and towels hung over the fender, was always
the first sight which met the tearful eyes of the little Victims
as they entered the nursery after being torn from the joys of the
room down-stairs. And then, lo and behold! a new misery
began, for, whether owing to the fatigue of getting up-stairs, or
that their feelings had been so much hurt, they generally
discovered at this moment that they were one and all so
excessively tired, they didn’t know what to do;—of
all things, did not choose to be washed—and insisted, each
of them, on being put to bed first! But let them say what
they would, and cry afresh as they pleased, and even snap and
snarl at each other like so many small terriers, those cruel
keepers of theirs never would grant their requests; never would
put any of them to bed dirty, and always declared that it was
impossible to put each of them to bed first!</p>
<p>“Imagine now the feelings of those who had to wait round
the fire while the others were attended to! Imagine the
weariness, the disgust, before the whole party was finished, and
put by for the night!”</p>
<p>Aunt Judy paused, but no one spoke.</p>
<p>“What!” cried she suddenly, “will nobody
groan? Then I must groan myself!” which she did, and
a most unearthly noise she made; so much so, that two or three of
the little ones turned round to look at the swelling red
curtains, just to make sure the howl did not proceed from
thence.</p>
<p>After which Aunt Judy continued her tale:—</p>
<p>“So much for night and going to bed, about which there
is nothing more to relate, as the little Victims were uncommonly
good sleepers, and seldom awoke till long after daylight.</p>
<p>“Well now, what do you think? By the time they had
had a good night, they felt so comfortable in their beds, that
they were quite contented to remain there; and then, of course,
their tormentors never rested till they had forced them to get
up! Poor little things! Just think of their being
made to go to bed at night, when they most disliked it, and then
made to get up in the morning, when they wanted to stay in
bed! It certainly was, as they always said, ‘very,
very hard.’ This was, of course, a winter misery,
when the air was so frosty and cold that it was very unpleasant
to jump out into it from a warm nest. Terrible scenes took
place on these occasions, I assure you, for sometimes the
wretched Victims would sit shivering on the floor, crying over
their socks and shoes instead of putting them on, (which they had
no spirit for,) and then the savage creatures who managed them
would insult them by irritating speeches.</p>
<p>“‘Come, Miss So-and-So,’ one would say,
‘don’t sit fretting there; there’s a warm fire,
and a nice basin of bread-and-milk waiting for you, if you will
only be quick and get ready.’</p>
<p>“Get ready! a nice order indeed! It meant that
they must wash themselves and be dressed before they would be
allowed to touch a morsel of food.</p>
<p>“But it is of no use dwelling on the unfeelingness of
those keepers. One day one of them actually
said:—</p>
<p>“‘If you knew what it was to have to get up
without a fire to come to, and without a breakfast to eat, you
would leave off grumbling at nothing.’</p>
<p>“<i>Nothing</i>! they called it <i>nothing</i> to have
to get out of a warm bed into the fresh morning air, and dress
before breakfast!</p>
<p>“Well, my dears,” pursued Aunt Judy, after waiting
here a few seconds, to see if anybody would groan, “I shall
take it for granted you feel for the <i>getting-up</i> misery as
well as the <i>going-to-bed</i> one, although you have not
groaned as I expected. I will just add, in conclusion, that
the summer <i>getting-up</i> misery was just the reverse of this
winter one. Then the poor little wretches were expected to
wait till their nursery was dusted and swept; so there they had
to lie, sometimes for half-an-hour, with the sun shining in upon
them, not allowed to get up and come out into the dirt and
dust!</p>
<p>“Of course, on those occasions they had nothing to do
but squabble among themselves and teaze; and I assure you they
had every now and then a very pleasant little revenge on their
keepers, for they half worried them out of their lives by
disturbances and complaints, and at any rate that was some
comfort to them, although very often it hindered the nursery from
being done half as soon as it would have been if they had been
quiet.</p>
<p>“I shall not have time to tell of everything,”
continued Aunt Judy, “so I must hurry over the breakfast,
although the keepers contrived to make even that miserable, by
doing all they could to prevent the little Victims from spilling
their food on the table and floor, and also by insisting on the
poor little things sitting tolerably upright on their
seats—<i>not</i> lolling with both elbows on the
table-cloth—<i>not</i> making a mess—not, in short,
playing any of those innocent little pranks in which young
creatures take delight.</p>
<p>“It was a pitiable spectacle, as you may suppose, to see
reasonable beings constrained against their inclinations to sit
quietly while they ate their hearty morning meal, which really,
perhaps, they might have enjoyed, had they been allowed to amuse
themselves in their own fashion at the same time.</p>
<p>“But I must go on now to that great misery of the day,
which I shall call the <i>lesson</i> misery.</p>
<p>“Now you must know, the little Victims were all born, as
young kids, lambs, kittens, and puppy-dogs are, with a decided
liking for jumping about and playing all day long. Think,
therefore, what their sufferings were when they were placed in
chairs round a table, and obliged to sit and stare at queer
looking characters in books until they had learned to know them
what was called <i>by heart</i>. It was a very odd way of
describing it, for I am sure they had often no heart in the
matter, unless it was a hearty dislike.</p>
<p>“‘Tommy Brown in the village never learns any
lessons,’ cried one of them once to the creature who was
teaching him, ‘why should I? He is always playing at
oyster-dishes in the gutter when I see him, and enjoying
himself. I wish <i>I</i> might enjoy myself!’</p>
<p>“Poor Victim! He little thought what a tiresome
lecture this clever remark of his would bring on his devoted
head!</p>
<p>“Don’t ask me to repeat it. It amounted
merely to this, that twenty years hence he would he very glad he
had learnt something else besides making oyster-dishes in the
streets. As if that signified to him now! As if it
took away the nuisance of having to learn at the present moment,
to be told it would be of use hereafter! What was the use
of its being of use by-and-by?</p>
<p>“So thought the little Victim, young as he was; so, said
he, in a muttering voice:—</p>
<p>“‘I don’t care about twenty years hence; I
want to be happy now!’</p>
<p>“This was unanswerable, as you may suppose; so the
puzzled teacher didn’t attempt to make a reply, but
said:—</p>
<p>“‘Go on with your lessons, you foolish little
boy!’</p>
<p>“See what it is to be obstinate,” pursued Aunt
Judy. “See how it blinds people’s eyes, and
prevents them from knowing right from wrong! Pray take
warning, and never be obstinate yourselves; and meantime, let us
have a good hearty groan for the <i>lesson</i> misery.”</p>
<p>The little ones obeyed, and breathed out a groan that seemed
to come from the very depths of their hearts; but somehow or
other, as the story proceeded, the faces looked rather less
amused, and rather more anxious, than at first.</p>
<p>What could the little ones be thinking about to make them
grave?</p>
<p>It was evidently quite a relief when Aunt Judy went
on:—</p>
<p>“You will be very much surprised, I dare say,”
said she, “to hear of the next misery I am going to tell
you about. It may be called the <i>dinner</i> misery, and
the little Victims underwent it every day.”</p>
<p>“Did they give them nasty things to eat, Aunt
Judy?” murmured No. 8, very anxiously.</p>
<p>“More likely not half enough,” suggested No.
5.</p>
<p>“But you promised not to make the story <i>too</i> sad,
remember!” observed No. 6.</p>
<p>“I did,” replied Aunt Judy, “and the
<i>dinner</i> misery did not consist in nasty food, or there not
being enough. They had plenty to eat, I assure you, and
everything was good. But—”</p>
<p>Aunt Judy stopped short, and glanced at each of the little
ones in succession.</p>
<p>“Make haste, Aunt Judy!” cried No. 8.
“But what?”</p>
<p>“<i>But</i>,” resumed Aunt Judy, in her most
impressive tone, “they had to wait between the
courses.”</p>
<p>Again Aunt Judy paused, and there was a looking hither and
thither among the little ones, and a shuffling about on the small
Derby chairs, while one or two pairs of eyes were suddenly turned
to the fire, as if watching it relieved a certain degree of
embarrassment which their owners began to experience.</p>
<p>“It is not every little boy or girl,” was Aunt
Judy’s next remark, “who knows what the courses of a
dinner are.”</p>
<p>“<i>I</i> don’t,” interposed No. 8, in a
distressed voice, as if he had been deeply injured.</p>
<p>“Oh, you think not? Well, not by name,
perhaps,” answered Aunt Judy. “But I will
explain. The courses of a dinner are the different sorts of
food, which follow each other one after the other, till dinner is
what people call ‘over.’ Thus, supposing a
dinner was to begin with pea-soup, as you have sometimes seen it
do, you would expect when it was taken away to see some meat put
upon the table, should you not?”</p>
<p>The little ones nodded assent.</p>
<p>“And after the meat was gone, you would expect pie or
pudding, eh?”</p>
<p>They nodded assent again, and with a smile.</p>
<p>“And if after the pudding was carried away, you saw some
cheese and celery arrive, it would not startle you very much,
would it?”</p>
<p>The little ones did nothing but laugh.</p>
<p>“Very well,” pursued Aunt Judy, “such a
dinner as we have been talking about consists of four
courses. The soup course, the meat course, the pudding
course, and the cheese course. And it was while one course
was being carried out, and another fetched in, that the little
Victims had to wait; and that was the <i>dinner</i> misery I
spoke about, and a very grievous affair it was. Sometimes
they had actually to wait several minutes, with nothing to do but
to fidget on their chairs, lean backwards till they toppled over,
or forward till some accident occurred at the table. And
then, poor little things, if they ventured to get out their
knuckle-bones for a game, or took to a little boxing amusement
among themselves, or to throwing the salt in each other’s
mugs, or pelting each other with bits of bread, or anything nice
and entertaining, down came those merciless keepers on their
innocent mirth, and the old stupid order went round for sitting
upright and quiet. Nothing that I can say about it would be
half as expressive as what the little Victims used to say
themselves. They said that it was ‘<i>so very
hard</i>.’</p>
<p>“Now, then, a good groan for the <i>dinner</i>
misery,” exclaimed Aunt Judy in conclusion.</p>
<p>The order was obeyed, but somewhat reluctantly, and then Aunt
Judy proceeded with her tale.</p>
<p>“On one occasion of the <i>dinner</i> misery,”
resumed she, “there happened to be a stranger lady present,
who seemed to be very much shocked by what the Victims had to
undergo, and to pity them very much; so she said she would set
them a nice little puzzle to amuse them till the second course
arrived. But now, what do you think the puzzle was?
It was a question, and this was it. ‘Which is the
harder thing to bear—to have to wait for your dinner, or to
have no dinner to wait for?’</p>
<p>“I do not think the little Victims would have quite
known what the stranger lady meant, if she had not explained
herself; for you see <i>they</i> had never gone without dinner in
their lives, so they had not an idea what sort of a feeling it
was to have <i>no dinner to wait for</i>. But she went on
to tell them what it was like as well as she could. She
described to them little Tommy Brown, (whom they envied so much
for having no lessons to do,) eating his potatoe soaked in the
dripping begged at the squire’s back-door, without anything
else to wait—or hope for. She told them that
<i>he</i> was never teazed as to how he sat, or even whether he
sat or stood, and then she asked them if they did not think he
was a very happy little boy? He had no trouble or bother,
but just ate his rough morsel in any way he pleased, and then was
off, hungry or not hungry, into the streets again.</p>
<p>“To tell you the truth,” pursued Aunt Judy,
“the Victims did not know what to say to the lady’s
account of little Tommy Brown’s happiness; but as the roast
meat came in just as it concluded, perhaps that diverted their
attention. However, after they had all been helped, it was
suddenly observed that one of them would not begin to eat.
He sat with his head bent over his plate, and his cheeks growing
redder and redder, till at last some one asked what was amiss,
and why he would not go on with his dinner, on which he sobbed
out that he had ‘much rather it was taken to little Tommy
Brown!’”</p>
<p>“That was a very <i>good</i> little Victim, wasn’t
he?” asked No. 8.</p>
<p>“But what did the keepers say?” inquired No. 5,
rather anxiously.</p>
<p>“Oh,” replied Aunt Judy, “it was soon
settled that Tommy Brown was to have the dinner, which made the
little Victim so happy, he actually jumped for joy. On
which the stranger lady told them she hoped they would henceforth
always ask themselves her curious question whenever they sat down
to a good meal again. ‘For,’ said she,
‘my dears, it will teach you to be thankful; and you may
take my word for it, it is always the ungrateful people who are
the most miserable ones.’”</p>
<p>“Oh, Aunt Judy!” here interposed No. 6, somewhat
vehemently, “you need not tell any more! I know you
mean <i>us</i> by the little Victims! But you don’t
think we really <i>mean</i> to be ungrateful about the beds, or
the dinners, or anything, do you?”</p>
<p>There was a melancholy earnestness in the tone of the inquiry,
which rather grieved Aunt Judy, for she knew it was not well to
magnify childish faults into too great importance: so she took
No. 6 on her knee, and assured her she never imagined such a
thing as their being really ungrateful, for a moment. If
she had, she added, she should not have turned their little ways
into fun, as she had done in the story.</p>
<p>No. 6 was comforted somewhat on hearing this, but still leant
her head on Aunt Judy’s shoulder in a rather pensive
state.</p>
<p>“I wonder what makes one so tiresome,” mused the
meditative No. 5, trying to view the matter quite abstractedly,
as if he himself was in no way concerned in it.</p>
<p>“Thoughtlessness only,” replied Aunt Judy,
smiling. “I have often heard mamma say it is not
ingratitude in <i>children</i> when they don’t think about
the comforts they enjoy every day; because the comforts seem to
them to come, like air and sunshine, as a mere matter of
course.”</p>
<p>“Really?” exclaimed No. 6, in a quite hopeful
tone. “Does mamma really say that?”</p>
<p>“Yes; but then you know,” continued Aunt Judy,
“everybody has to be taught to think by degrees, and then
they get to know that no comforts ever do really come to anybody
as a matter of course. No, not even air and sunshine; but
every one of them as blessings permitted by God, and which,
therefore, we have to be thankful for. So you see we have
to <i>learn</i> to be thankful as we have to learn everything
else, and mamma says it is a lesson that never ends, even for
grown-up people.</p>
<p>“And now you understand, No. 6, that you—oh!
I beg pardon, I mean <i>the little Victims</i>—were not
really ungrateful, but only thoughtless; and the wonderful
stranger lady did something to cure them of that, and, in fact,
proved a sort of Aunt Judy to them; for she explained things in
such a very entertaining manner, that they actually began to
think the matter over; and then they left off being stupid and
unthankful.</p>
<p>“But this reminds me,” added Aunt Judy,
“that you—tiresome No. 6—have spoilt my story
after all! I had not half got to the end of the
miseries. For instance, there was the <i>taking-care</i>
misery, in consequence of which the little Victims were sent out
to play on a fine day, and kept in when it was stormy and wet,
all because those stupid keepers were more anxious to keep them
well in health than to please them at the moment.</p>
<p>“And then there was—above all—” here
Aunt Judy became very impressive, “the <i>washing</i>
misery, which consisted in their being obliged to make themselves
clean and comfortable with soap and water whenever they happened
to be dirty, whether with playing at knuckle-bones on the floor,
or anything else, and which was considered <i>so hard</i>
that—”</p>
<p>But here a small hand was laid on Aunt Judy’s mouth, and
a gentle voice said, “Stop, Aunt Judy, now!” on which
the rest shouted, “Stop! stop! we won’t hear any
more,” in chorus, until all at once, in the midst of the
din, there sounded outside the door the ominous knocking, which
announced the hour of repose to the juvenile branches of the
family.</p>
<p>It was a well-known summons, but on this occasion produced
rather an unusual effect. First, there was a sudden
profound silence, and pause of several seconds; then an
interchange of glances among the little ones; then a breaking out
of involuntary smiles upon several young faces; and at last a
universal “Good-night, Aunt Judy!” very quietly and
demurely spoken.</p>
<p>“If the little Victims were only here to see how
<i>you</i> behave over the <i>going-to-bed</i> misery, what a
lesson it would be!” suggested Aunt Judy, with a
mischievous smile.</p>
<p>“Ah, yes, yes, we know, we know!” was the only
reply, and it came from No. 8, who took advantage of being the
youngest to be more saucy than the rest.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy now led the little party into the drawing-room to
bid their father and mother good-night too. And certainly
when the door was opened, and they saw how bright and cosy
everything looked, in the light of the fire and the lamps, with
mamma at the table, wide awake and smiling, they underwent a
fearful twinge of the <i>going-to-bed</i> misery. But they
checked all expression of their feelings. Of course, mamma
asked what Aunt Judy’s story had been about, and heard; and
heard, too, No. 6’s little trouble lest she should have
been guilty of the sin of real ingratitude; and, of course, mamma
applauded Aunt Judy’s explanation about the want of
thought, very much indeed.</p>
<p>“But, mamma,” said No. 6 to her mother,
“Aunt Judy said something about grown-up people having to
learn to be thankful. Surely you and papa never cry for
nonsense, and things you can’t have?”</p>
<p>“Ah, my darling No. 6,” cried mamma earnestly,
“grown-up people may not <i>cry</i> for what they want
exactly, but they are just as apt to wish for what they cannot
have, as you little ones are. For instance, grown-up people
would constantly like to have life made easier and more agreeable
to them, than God chooses it to be. They would like to have
a little more wealth, perhaps, or a little more health, or a
little more rest, or that their children should always be good
and clever, and well and happy. And while they are thinking
and fretting about the things they want, they forget to be
thankful for those they have. I am often tempted in this
way myself, dear No. 6; so you see Aunt Judy is right, and the
lesson of learning to be thankful never ends, even for grown-up
people.</p>
<p>“One other word before you go. I dare say you
little ones think we grown-up people are quite independent, and
can do just as we like. But it is not so. We have to
learn to submit to the will of the great Keeper of Heaven and
earth, without understanding it, just as Aunt Judy’s little
Victims had to submit to their keepers without knowing why.
So thank Aunt Judy for her story, and let us all do our best to
be obedient and contented.”</p>
<p>“When I am old enough, mother,” remarked No. 7, in
his peculiarly mild and deliberate way of speaking, and smiling
all the time, “I think I shall put Aunt Judy into a
story. Don’t you think she would make a capital
Ogre’s wife, like the one in ‘Jack and the
Bean-Stalk,’ who told Jack how to behave, and gave him good
advice?”</p>
<p>It was a difficult question to say “No” to, so
mamma kissed No. 7, instead of answering him, and No. 7 smiled
himself away, with his head full of the bright idea.</p>
<h2><SPAN name="page26"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>VEGETABLES OUT OF PLACE.</h2>
<blockquote><p>“But any man that walks the mead,<br/>
In bud or blade, or bloom, may find,<br/>
According as his humours lead,<br/>
A meaning suited to his mind.”</p>
<p style="text-align: right"><span class="smcap">Tennyson</span>.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">It</span> was a fine May morning.
Not one of those with an east wind and a bright sun, which keep
people in a puzzle all as day to whether it is hot or cold, and
cause endless nursery disputes about the keeping on of comforters
and warm coats, whenever a hoop-race, or some such active
exertion, has brought a universal puggyness over the juvenile
frame—but it was a really mild, sweet-scented day, when it
is quite a treat to be out of doors, whether in the gardens, the
lanes, or the fields, and when nothing but a holland jacket is
thought necessary by even the most tiresomely careful of
mammas.</p>
<p>It was not a day which anybody would have chosen to be poorly
upon; but people have no choice in such matters, and poor little
No. 7, of our old friends “the little ones,” was in
bed ill of the measles.</p>
<p>The wise old Bishop, Jeremy Taylor, told us long ago, how well
children generally bear sickness. “They bear
it,” he says, “by a direct sufferance;” that is
to say, they submit to just what discomfort exists at the moment,
without fidgetting about either “a cause or a
consequence,” and decidedly without fretting about what is
to come.</p>
<p>For a grown-up person to attain to the same state of unanxious
resignation, is one of the high triumphs of Christian
faith. It is that “delivering one’s self
up,” of which the poor speak so forcibly on their
sick-beds.</p>
<p>No. 7 proved a charming instance of the truth of Jeremy
Taylor’s remark. He behaved in the most composed
manner over his feelings, and even over his physic.</p>
<p>During the first day or two, when he sat shivering by the
fire, reading “Neill D’Arcy’s Life at
Sea,” and was asked how he felt, he answered with his usual
smile; “Oh, all right; only a little cold now and
then.” And afterwards, when he was in bed in a
darkened room, and the same question was put, he replied almost
as quietly, (though without the smile,) “Oh—only a
little too hot.”</p>
<p>Then over the medicine, he contested nothing. He made,
indeed, one or two by no means injudicious suggestions, as to the
best method of having the disagreeable material, whether powdery
or oleaginous, (I will not particularize further!) conveyed down
his throat: commonly said, “Thank you,” even before
he had swallowed it; and then shut his eyes, and kept himself
quiet.</p>
<p>Fortunately No. 1, and Schoolboy No. 3, had had the complaint
as well as papa and mamma, so there were plenty to share in the
nursing and house matters. The only question was, what was
to be done with the little ones while Nurse was so busy; and Aunt
Judy volunteered her services in their behalf.</p>
<p>Now it will easily be supposed, after what I have said, that
the nursing was not at all a difficult undertaking; but I am
grieved to say that Aunt Judy’s task was by no means so
easy a one.</p>
<p>The little ones were very sorry, it is true, that No. 7 was
poorly; but, unluckily, they forgot it every time they went
either up-stairs or down. They could not bear in their
minds the fact, that when they encouraged the poodle to bark
after an India-rubber ball, he was pretty sure to wake No. 7 out
of a nap; and, in short, the day being so fine, and the little
ones so noisy, Aunt Judy packed them all off into their gardens
to tidy them up, she herself taking her station in a small study,
the window of which looked out upon the family play-ground.</p>
<p>Her idea, perhaps, was, that she could in this way combine the
prosecution of her own studies, with enacting policeman over the
young gardeners, and “keeping the peace,” as she
called it. But if so, she was doomed to disappointment.</p>
<p>The operation of “tidying up gardens,” as
performed by a set of “little ones,” scarcely needs
description.</p>
<p>It consists of a number of alterations being thought of, and
set about, not one of which is ever known to be finished by those
who begin them. It consists of everybody wanting the rake
at the same moment, and of nobody being willing to use the other
tools, which they call stupid and useless things. It
consists of a great many plants being moved from one place to
another, when they are in full flower, and dying in
consequence. (But how, except when they are in flower, can
anyone judge where they will look best?) It consists of a
great many seeds being prevented from coming up at all, by an
“alteration” cutting into the heart of the patch just
as they were bursting their shells for a sprout. It
consists of an unlimited and fatal application of the cold-water
cure.</p>
<p>And, finally, it results in such a confusion between
foot-walks and beds—such a mixture of earth and gravel, and
thrown-down tools—that anyone unused to the symptoms of the
case, might imagine that the door of the pigsty in the yard had
been left open, and that its inhabitant had been performing
sundry uncouth gambols with his nose in the little ones’
gardens.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy was quite aware of these facts, and she had
accordingly laid down several rules, and given several
instructions to prevent the usual catastrophe; and all went very
smoothly at first in consequence. The little ones went out
all hilarity and delight, and divided the tools with considerable
show of justice, while Aunt Judy nodded to them approvingly out
of her window, and then settled down to an interesting sum in
that most peculiar of all arithmetical rules, “<i>The Rule
of False</i>,” the principle of which is, that out of two
errors, made by yourself from two wrong guesses, you arrive at a
discovery of the truth!</p>
<p style="text-align: center">
<SPAN href="images/p26b.jpg">
<ANTIMG alt="The rule of false" title= "The rule of false" src="images/p26s.jpg" /></SPAN></p>
<p>When Aunt Judy first caught sight of this rule, a few days
before, at the end of an old summing-book, it struck her fancy at
once. The principle of it was capable of a much more
general application than to the “Rule of False,” and
she amused herself by studying it up.</p>
<p>It is, no doubt, a clumsy substitute for algebra; but young
folks who have not learnt algebra, will find it a very
entertaining method of making out all such sums as the following
old puzzler, over which Aunt Judy was now poring:</p>
<p>“There is a certain fish, whose head is 9 inches in
length, his tail as long as his head and half of his back, and
his back as long as both head and tail together. Query, the
length of the fish?”</p>
<p>But Aunt Judy was not left long in peace with her fish.
While she was in the thick of “suppositions” and
“errors,” a tap came at the window.</p>
<p>“Aunt Judy!”</p>
<p>“Stop!” was the answer; and the hand of the
speaker went up, with the slate-pencil in it, enforcing silence
while she pursued her calculations.</p>
<p>“Say, back 42 inches; then tail (half back) 21, and head
given, 9, that’s 30, and 30 and 9, 39
back.—Won’t do! Second error: three
inches—What’s the matter, No. 6? You surely
have not begun to quarrel already?”</p>
<p>“Oh, no,” answered No. 6, with her nose flattened
against the window-pane. “But please, Aunt Judy, No.
8 won’t have the oyster-shell trimming round his garden any
longer, he says; he says it looks so rubbishy. But as my
garden joins his down the middle, if he takes away the
oyster-shells all round his, then one of <i>my</i>
sides—the one in the middle, I mean—will be left
bare, don’t you see? and I want to keep the oyster-shells
all round may garden, because mamma says there are still some
zoophytes upon them. So how is it to be?”</p>
<p>What a perplexity! The fish with his nine-inch head, and
his tail as long as his head and half of his back, was a mere
nothing to it.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy threw open the window.</p>
<p>“My dear No. 6,” answered she, “yours is the
great boundary-line question about which nations never do agree,
but go squabbling on till some one has to give way first.
There is but one plan for settling it, and that is, for each of
you to give up a piece of your gardens to make a road to run
between. Now if you’ll both give way at once, and
consent to this, I will come out to you myself, and leave my fish
till the evening. It’s much too fine to stay in
doors, I feel; and I can give you all something real to
do.”</p>
<p>“<i>I’ll</i> give way, I’m sure, Aunt
Judy,” cried No. 6, quite glad to be rid of the dispute;
“and so will you, won’t you, No. 8?” she added,
appealing to that young gentleman, who stood with his pinafore
full of dirty oyster-shells, not quite understanding the meaning
of what was said.</p>
<p>“I’ll <i>what</i>?” inquired he.</p>
<p>“Oh, never mind! Only throw the oyster-shells
down, and come with Aunt Judy. It will be much better fun
than staying here.”</p>
<p>No. 8 lowered his pinafore at the word of command, and dropped
the discarded oyster-shells, one by one—where do you
think?—why—right into the middle of his little
garden! an operation which seemed to be particularly agreeable to
him, if one might judge by his face. He was not sorry
either to be relieved from the weight.</p>
<p>“You see, Aunt Judy,” continued No. 6 to her
sister, who had now joined them, “it doesn’t so much
matter about the oyster-shell trimming; but No. 8’s garden
is always in such a mess, that I must have a wall or something
between us!”</p>
<p>“You shall have a wall or a path decidedly,”
replied Aunt Judy: “a road is the next best thing to a
river for a boundary-line. But now, all of you, pick up the
tools and come with me, and you shall do some regular work, and
be paid for it at the rate of half-a-farthing for every half
hour. Think what a magnificent offer!”</p>
<p>The little ones thought so in reality, and welcomed the
arrangement with delight, and trudged off behind Aunt Judy,
calculating so hard among themselves what their conjoint
half-farthings would come to, for the half-hours they all
intended to work, and furthermore, what amount or variety of
“goodies” they would purchase, that Aunt Judy half
fancied herself back in the depths of the “Rule of
False” again!</p>
<p>She led them at last to a pretty shrubbery-walk, of which they
were all very fond. On one side of it was a quick-set
hedge, in which the honeysuckle was mixed so profusely with the
thorn, that they grew and were clipped together.</p>
<p>It was the choicest spot for a quiet evening stroll in summer
that could possibly be imagined. The sweet scent from the
honeysuckle flowers stole around you with a welcome as you moved
along, and set you a dreaming of some far-off region where the
delicious sensations produced by the odour of flowers may not be
as transient as they are here.</p>
<p>There was an alcove in the middle of the walk—not one of
the modern mockeries of rusticity—but a real old-fashioned
lath-and-plaster concern, such as used to be erected in front of
a bowling-green. It was roofed in, was open only on the
sunny side, and was supported by a couple of little Ionic
pillars, up which clematis and passion-flower were studiously
trained.</p>
<p>There was a table as well as seats within; and the alcove was
a very nice place for either reading or drawing in, as it
commanded a pretty view of the distant country. It was
also, and perhaps especially, suited to the young people in their
more poetical and fanciful moods.</p>
<p>The little ones had no sooner reached the entrance of the
favourite walk, than they scampered past Aunt Judy to run a race;
but No. 6 stopped suddenly short.</p>
<p>“Aunt Judy, look at these horrible weeds! Ah! I do
believe this is what you have brought us here for!”</p>
<p>It was indeed; for some showers the evening before, had caused
them to flourish in a painfully prominent manner, and the
favourite walk presented a somewhat neglected appearance.</p>
<p>So Aunt Judy marked it off for the little ones to weed,
repeated the exhilarating promise of the half-farthings, and
seated herself in the alcove to puzzle out the length of the
fish.</p>
<p>At first it was rather amusing to hear, how even in the midst
of their weeding, the little ones pursued their calculations of
the anticipated half-farthings, and discussed the niceness and
prices of the various descriptions of “goodies.”</p>
<p>But by degrees, less and less was said; and at last, the
half-farthings and “goodies” seemed altogether
forgotten, and a new idea to arise in their place.</p>
<p>The new idea was, that this weeding-task was uncommonly
troublesome!</p>
<p>“I’m sure there are many more weeds in my piece
than in anybody else’s!” remarked the tallest of the
children, standing up to rest his rather tired back, and
contemplate the walk. “I don’t think Aunt Judy
measured it out fair!”</p>
<p>“Well, but you’re the biggest, and ought to do the
most,” responded No. 6.</p>
<p>“A <i>little</i> the most is all very well,”
persisted No. 5; “but I’ve got <i>too much</i> the
most rather—and it’s very tiresome work.”</p>
<p>“What nonsense!” rejoined No. 6. “I
don’t believe the weeds are any thicker in your piece than
in mine. Look at my big heap. And I’m sure
I’m quite as tired as you are.”</p>
<p>No. 6 got up as she spoke, to see how matters were going on;
not at all sorry either, to change her position.</p>
<p>“<i>I’ve</i> got the most,” muttered No. 8
to himself, still kneeling over his work.</p>
<p>But this was, it is to be feared, a very unjustifiable bit of
brag.</p>
<p>“If you go on talking so much, you will not get any
half-farthings at all!” shouted No. 4, from the
distance.</p>
<p>A pause followed this warning, and the small party ducked down
again to their work.</p>
<p>They no longer liked it, however; and very soon afterwards the
jocose No. 5 observed, in subdued tones to the others:—</p>
<p>“I wonder what <i>the little victims</i> would have said
to this kind of thing?”</p>
<p>“They’d have hated it,” answered No. 6, very
decidedly.</p>
<p>The fact was, the little ones were getting really tired, for
the fine May morning had turned into a hot day; and in a few
minutes more, a still further aggravation of feeling took
place.</p>
<p>No. 6 got up again, shook the gravel from her frock, blew it
off her hands, pushed back a heap of heavy curls from her face,
set her hat as far back on her head as she could, and
exclaimed:—</p>
<p>“I wish there were no such things as weeds in the
world!”</p>
<p>Everybody seemed struck with this impressive sentiment, for
they all left off weeding at once, and Aunt Judy came forward to
the front of the alcove.</p>
<p>“Don’t you, Aunt Judy?” added No. 6, feeling
sure her sister had heard.</p>
<p>“Not I, indeed,” answered Aunt Judy, with a
comical smile: “I’m too fond of cream to my
tea.”</p>
<p>“Cream to your tea, Aunt Judy? What can that have
to do with it?”</p>
<p>The little ones were amazed.</p>
<p>“Something,” at any rate, responded Aunt Judy;
“and if you like to come in here, and sit down, I will tell
you how.”</p>
<p>Away went hoes and weeding-knives at once, and into the alcove
they rushed; and never had garden-seats felt so thoroughly
comfortable before.</p>
<p>“If one begins to wish,” suggested No. 5,
stretching his legs out to their full extent, “one may as
well wish oneself a grand person with a lot of gardeners to clear
away the weeds as fast as they come up, and save one the
trouble.”</p>
<p>“Much better wish them away, and save everybody the
trouble,” persisted No. 6.</p>
<p>“No: one wants them sometimes.”</p>
<p>“What an idea! Who ever wants weeds?”</p>
<p>“You yourself.”</p>
<p>“I? What nonsense!”</p>
<p>But the persevering No. 5 proceeded to explain. No. 6
had asked him a few days before to bring her some groundsel for
her canary, and he had been quite disappointed at finding none in
the garden. He had actually to “trail” into the
lanes to fetch a bit.</p>
<p>This was a puzzling statement; so No. 6 contented herself with
grumbling out:—</p>
<p>“Weeds are welcome to grow in the lanes.”</p>
<p>“Weeds are not always weeds in the lanes,”
persisted No. 5, with a grin: “they’re sometimes
wild-flowers.”</p>
<p>“I don’t care what they are,” pouted No.
6. “I wish I lived in a place where there were
none.”</p>
<p>“And I wish I was a great man, with lots of gardeners to
take them up, instead of me,” maintained No. 5, who was in
a mood of lazy tiresomeness, and kept rocking to and fro on the
garden-chair, with his hands tucked under his thighs.
“A weed—a weed,” continued he; “what is a
weed, I wonder? Aunt Judy, what is a weed?”</p>
<p>Aunt Judy had surely been either dreaming or cogitating during
the last few minutes, for she had taken no notice of what was
said, but she roused up now, and answered:—</p>
<p>“A vegetable out of its place.”</p>
<p>“A <i>vegetable</i>,” repeated No. 5, “why
we don’t eat them, Aunt Judy.”</p>
<p>“You kitchen-garden interpreter, who said we did?”
replied she. “All green herbs are <i>vegetables</i>,
let me tell you, whether we eat them or not.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I see,” mused No. 5, quietly enough, but in
another instant he broke out again.</p>
<p>“I’ll tell you what though, some of them are real
vegetables, I mean kitchen-garden vegetables, to other creatures,
and that’s why they’re wanted.
Groundsel’s a vegetable, it’s the canary’s
vegetable. I mean his kitchen-garden vegetable, and if he
had a kitchen-garden of his own, he would grow it as we do
peas. So I was right after all, No. 6!”</p>
<p>That <i>twit</i> at the end spoilt everything, otherwise this
was really a bright idea of No. 5’s.</p>
<p>“Aunt Judy, do begin to talk yourself,” entreated
No. 6. “I wish No. 5 would be quiet, and not
teaze.”</p>
<p>“And he wishes the same of you,” replied Aunt
Judy, “and I wish the same of you all. What is to be
done? Come, I will tell you a story, on one positive
understanding, namely, that whoever teazes, or even <i>twits</i>,
shall be turned out of the company.”</p>
<p>No. 5 sat up in his chair like a dart in an instant, and vowed
that he would be the best of the good, till Aunt Judy had
finished her story.</p>
<p>“After which—” concluded he, with a wink and
another grin.</p>
<p>“After which, I shall expect you to be better
still,” was Aunt Judy’s emphatic rejoinder. And
peace being now completely established, she commenced:
“There was once upon a time—what do you
think?”—here she paused and looked round in the
children’s faces.</p>
<p>“A giant!” exclaimed No. 8.</p>
<p>“A beautiful princess!” suggested No. 6.</p>
<p>“<i>Something</i>,” said Aunt Judy, “but I
am not going to tell you what at present. You must find out
for yourselves. Meantime I shall call it <i>something</i>,
or merely make a grunting—hm—when I allude to it, as
people do to express a blank.”</p>
<p>The little ones shuffled about in delighted impatience at the
notion of the mysterious “something” which they were
to find out, and Aunt Judy proceeded:—</p>
<p>“This—hm—then, lived in a large meadow
field, where it was the delight of all beholders. The owner
of the property was constantly boasting about it to his friends,
for he maintained that it was the richest, and most beautiful,
and most valuable—hm—in all the country round.
Surely no other thing in this world ever found itself more
admired or prized than this <i>something</i> did. The
commonest passer-by would notice it, and say all manner of fine
things in its praise, whether in the early spring, the full
summer, or the autumn, for at each of these seasons it put on a
fresh charm, and formed a subject of conversation.
‘Only look at that lovely—hm—’ was quite
a common exclamation at the sight of it. ‘What a
colour it has! How fresh and healthy it looks! How
invaluable it must be! Why, it must be worth at
least—’ and then the speaker would go calculating
away at the number of pounds, shillings, and pence,
the—hm—would fetch, if put into the money-market,
which is, I am sorry to say, a very usual, although very
degrading way of estimating worth.</p>
<p>“To conclude, the mild-eyed Alderney cow, who pastured
in the field during the autumn months, would chew the cud of
approbation over the—hm—for hours together, and
people said it was no wonder at all that she gave such delicious
milk and cream.”</p>
<p>Here a shout of supposed discovery broke from No. 5.
“I’ve guessed, I know it!”</p>
<p>But a “hush” from Aunt Judy stopped him short.</p>
<p>“No. 5, nobody asked your opinion, keep it to yourself,
if you please.”</p>
<p>No. 5 was silenced, but rubbed his hands nevertheless.</p>
<p>“Well,” continued Aunt Judy, “that
‘<i>something</i>’ ought surely to have been the most
contented thing in the world. Its merits were acknowledged;
its usefulness was undoubted; its beauty was the theme of
constant admiration; what had it left to wish for? Really
nothing; but by an unlucky accident it became dissatisfied with
its situation in a meadow field, and wished to get into a higher
position in life, which, it took for granted, would be more
suited to its many exalted qualities. The
‘<i>something</i>’ of the field wanted to inhabit a
garden. The unlucky accident that gave rise to this foolish
idea, was as follows:—</p>
<p>“A little boy was running across the beautiful meadow
one morning, with a tin-pot full of fishing bait in his hand,
when suddenly he stumbled and fell down.</p>
<p>“The bait in the tin-pot was some lob-worms, which the
little boy had collected out of the garden adjoining the field,
and they were spilt and scattered about by his fall.</p>
<p>“He picked up as many as he could find, however, and ran
off again; but one escaped his notice and was left behind.</p>
<p>“This gentleman was insensible for a few seconds; but as
soon as he came to himself, and discovered that he was in a
strange place, he began to grumble and find fault.</p>
<p>“‘What an uncouth neighbourhood!’ Such
were his exclamations. ‘What rough impracticable
roads! Was ever lob-worm so unlucky before!’ It
was impossible to move an inch without bumping his sides against
some piece of uncultivated ground.</p>
<p>“Judge for yourselves, my dears,” continued Aunt
Judy, pathetically, “what must have been the feelings of
the ‘<i>something</i>’ which had lived proudly and
happily in the meadow field for so long, on hearing such
offensive remarks.</p>
<p>“Its spirit was up in a minute, just as yours would have
been, and it did not hesitate to inform the intruder that
travellers who find fault with a country before they have taken
the trouble to inquire into its merits, are very ignorant and
impertinent people.</p>
<p>“This was blow for blow, as you perceive; and the
<i>teaze-and-twit</i> system was now continued with great
animation on both sides.</p>
<p>“The lob-worm inquired, with a conceited wriggle, what
could be the merits of a country, where gentlemanly, gliding,
thin-skinned creatures like himself were unable to move about
without personal annoyance? Whereupon the amiable
‘<i>something</i>’ made no scruple of telling the
lob-worm that his <i>betters</i> found no fault with the place,
and instanced its friend and admirer the Alderney cow.</p>
<p>“On which the lob-worm affected forgetfulness, and
exclaimed, ‘Cow? cow? do I know the creature?
Ah! Yes, I recollect now; clumsy legs, horny feet, and that
sort of thing,’ proceeding to hint that what was good
enough for a cow, might yet not be refined enough for his own
more delicate habits.</p>
<p>“‘It is my misfortune, perhaps,’ concluded
he, with mock humility, ‘to have been accustomed to higher
associations; but really, situated as I am here, I could almost
feel disposed to—why, positively, to wish myself a cow,
with clumsy legs and horny feet. What one may live to come
to, to be sure!’</p>
<p>“Well,” Aunt Judy proceeded, “will you
believe it, the lob-worm went on boasting till the poor deluded
‘<i>something</i>’ believed every word he said, and
at last ventured to ask in what favoured spot he had acquired his
superior tastes and knowledge.</p>
<p>“And then, of course, the lob-worm had the opportunity
of opening out in a very magnificent bit of brag, and did not
fail to do so.</p>
<p>“Travellers can always boast with impunity to stationary
folk, and the lob-worm had no conscience about speaking the
truth.</p>
<p>“So on he chattered, giving the most splendid account of
the garden in which he lived. Gorgeous flowers, velvet
lawns, polished gravel-walks, along which he was wont to take his
early morning stroll, before the ruder creatures of the
neighbourhood, such as dogs, cats, &c. were up and about,
were all his discourse; and he spoke of them as if they were his
own, and told of the nursing and tending of every plant in the
lovely spot, as if the gardeners did it all for his convenience
and pleasure.</p>
<p>“Of the little accidents to which he and his race have
from time immemorial been liable from awkward spades, or those
very early birds, by whom he ran a risk of being snapped up every
time he emerged out of the velvet lawns for the morning strolls,
he said just nothing at all.</p>
<p>“All was unmixed delight (according to his account) in
the garden, and having actually boasted himself into good humour
with himself, and therefore with everybody else, he concluded by
expressing the condescending wish, that the
‘<i>something</i>’ in the field should get itself
removed to the garden, to enjoy the life of which he spoke.</p>
<p>“‘Undeniably beautiful as you are here,’
cried he, ‘your beauty will increase a thousand fold, under
the gardener’s fostering care. Appreciated as you are
now in your rustic life, the most prominent place will be
assigned to you when you get into more distinguished society; so
that everybody who passes by and sees you, will exclaim in
delight, ‘Behold this
exquisite—hm—!’”</p>
<p>“Oh dear, Aunt Judy,” cried No. 6, “was the
‘hum,’ as you will call it, so silly as to believe
what he said?”</p>
<p>“How could the poor simple-minded thing be expected to
resist such elegant compliments, my dear No. 6?” answered
Aunt Judy. “But then came the difficulty. The
‘<i>something</i>’ which lived in the field had no
more legs than the lob-worm himself, and, in fact, was incapable
of locomotion.”</p>
<p>“Of course it was!” ejaculated No. 5.</p>
<p>“Order!” cried Aunt Judy, and
proceeded:—</p>
<p>“So the—hm—hung down its graceful head in
despair, but suddenly a bright and loving thought struck
it. It could not change its place and rise in life itself,
but its children might, and that would be some consolation.
It opened its heart on this point to the lob-worm, and although
the lob-worm had no heart to be touched, he had still a tongue to
talk.</p>
<p>“If the—hm—would send its children to the
garden at the first opportunity, he would be delighted,
absolutely charmed, to introduce them in the world. He
would put them in the way of everything, and see that they were
properly attended to. There was nothing he couldn’t
or wouldn’t do.</p>
<p>“This last pretentious brag seemed to have exhausted
even the lob-worm’s ingenuity, for, soon after he had
uttered it, he shuffled away out of the meadow in the best
fashion that he could, leaving the ‘<i>something</i>’
in the field in a state of wondering regret. But it
recovered its spirits again when the time came for sending its
children to the favoured garden abode.</p>
<p>“‘My dears,’ it said, ‘you will soon
have to begin life for yourselves, and I hope you will do so with
credit to your bringing up. I hope you are now ambitious
enough to despise the dull old plan of dropping contentedly down,
just where you happen to be, or waiting for some chance traveller
(who may never come) to give you a lift elsewhere. That
paradise of happiness, of which the lob-worm told us, is close at
hand. Come! it only wants a little extra exertion on your
part, and you will be carried thither by the wind, as easily as
the wandering Dandelion himself. Courage, my dears! nothing
out of the common is ever gained without an effort. See
now! as soon as ever a strong breeze blows the proper way, I
shall shake my heads as hard as ever I can, that you may be
off. All the doors and windows are open now, you know, and
you must throw yourselves out upon the wind. Only remember
one thing, when you are settled down in the beautiful garden,
mind you hold up your heads, and do yourselves justice, my
dears.’</p>
<p>“The children gave a ready assent, of course, as proud
as possible at the notion; and when the favourable breeze came,
and the maternal heads were shaken, out they all flew, and
trusted themselves to its guidance, and in a few minutes settled
down all over the beautiful garden, some on the beds, some on the
lawn, some on the polished gravel-walks. And all I can say
is, happiest those who were least seen!”</p>
<p>“Grass weeds! grass weeds!” shouted the
incorrigible No. 5, jumping up from his seat and performing two
or three Dervish-like turns.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s too bad, isn’t it, Aunt
Judy,” cried No. 6, “to stop your story in the
middle?”</p>
<p>Whereupon Aunt Judy answered that he had not stopped the story
in the middle, but at the end, and she was glad he had found out
the meaning of her—<i>hm</i>—!</p>
<p>But No. 6 would not be satisfied, she liked to hear the
complete finish up of everything. “Did the
‘<i>hum’s</i>’ children ever grow up in the
garden, and did they ever see the lob-worm again?”</p>
<p>“The—hm’s—children did <i>spring</i>
up in the garden,” answered Aunt Judy, “and did their
best to exhibit their beauty on the polished gravel-walks, where
they were particularly delighted with their own appearance one
May morning after a shower of rain, which had made them more
prominent than usual. ‘Remember our mother’s
advice,’ cried they to each other. ‘This is the
happy moment! Let us hold up our heads, and do ourselves
justice, my dears.’</p>
<p>“Scarcely were the words spoken, when a troop of rude
creatures came scampering into the walk, and a particularly
unfeeling monster in curls, pointed to the beautiful up-standing
little—hms—and shouted, ‘Aunt Judy, look at
these <i>horrible weeds</i>!’</p>
<p>“I needn’t say any more,” concluded Aunt
Judy. “You know how you’ve used them; you know
what you’ve done to them; you know how you’ve even
wished there were <i>no such things in the world</i>!”</p>
<p>“Oh, Aunt Judy, how capital!” ejaculated No. 6,
with a sigh, the sigh of exhausted amusement.</p>
<p>“‘The <i>hum</i> was a weed too, then, was
it?” said No. 8. He did not quite see his way through
the tale.</p>
<p>“It was not a weed in the meadow,” answered Aunt
Judy, “where it was useful, and fed the Alderney cow.
It was beautiful Grass there, and was counted as such, because
that was its proper place. But when it put its nose into
garden-walks, where it was not wanted, and had no business, then
everybody called the beautiful Grass a weed.”</p>
<p>“So a weed is a vegetable out of its place, you
see,” subjoined No. 5, who felt the idea to be half his
own, “and it won’t do to wish there were none in the
world.”</p>
<p>“And a vegetable out of its place being nothing better
than a weed, Mr. No. 5,” added Aunt Judy, “it
won’t do to be too anxious about what is so often falsely
called, bettering your condition in life. Come, the story
is done, and now we’ll go home, and all the patient
listeners and weeders may reckon upon getting one or more
farthings apiece from mamma. And as No. 6’s wish is
not realized, and there are still weeds <SPAN name="citation47"></SPAN><SPAN href="#footnote47" class="citation">[47]</SPAN> in the world, and among them Grass
weeds, <i>I</i> shall hope to have some cream to my
tea.”</p>
<h2><SPAN name="page48"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>COOK STORIES.</h2>
<blockquote><p>“Down too, down at your own fireside,<br/>
With the evil tongue and the evil ear,<br/>
For each is at war with mankind.”</p>
<p style="text-align: right"><span class="smcap">Tennyson’s</span> <i>Maud</i>.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Aunt Judy</span> had gone to the nursery
wardrobe to look over some clothes, and the little ones were
having a play to themselves. As she opened the door, they
were just coming to the end of an explosive burst of laughter, in
which all the five appeared to have joined, and which they had
some difficulty in stopping. No. 4, who was a biggish girl,
had giggled till the tears were running over her cheeks; and No.
8, in sympathy, was leaning back in his tiny chair in a sort of
ecstasy of amusement.</p>
<p>The five little ones had certainly hit upon some very
entertaining game.</p>
<p>They were all (boys and girls alike) dressed up as elderly
ladies, with bits of rubbishy finery on their heads and round
their shoulders, to imitate caps and scarfs; the boys’ hair
being neatly parted and brushed down the middle; and they were
seated in form round what was called “the Doll’s
Table,” a concern just large enough to allow of a small
crockery tea-service, with cups and saucers and little plates,
being set out upon it.</p>
<p>“What have you got there?” was all Aunt Judy
asked, as she went up to the table to look at them.</p>
<p>“Cowslip-tea,” was No. 4’s answer, laying
her hand on the fat pink tea-pot; and thereupon the laughing
explosion went off nearly as loudly as before, though for no
accountable reason that Aunt Judy could divine.</p>
<p>“It’s <i>so</i> good, Aunt Judy, do taste
it!” exclaimed No. 8, jumping up in a great fuss, and
holding up his little cup, full of a pale-buff fluid, to Aunt
Judy.</p>
<p>“You’ll have everything over,” cried No. 4,
calling him to order; and in truth the table was not the
steadiest in the world.</p>
<p>So No. 8 sat down again, calling out, in an almost stuttering
hurry, “You may keep it all, Aunt Judy, I don’t want
any more.”</p>
<p>But neither did Aunt Judy, after she had given it one taste;
so she put the cup down, thanking No. 8 very much, but pulling
such a funny face, that it set the laugh going once more; in the
middle of which No. 4 dropped an additional lump of sugar into
the rejected buff-coloured mixture, a proceeding which evidently
gave No. 8 a new relish for the beverage.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy had got beyond the age when cowslip-tea was looked
upon as one of the treats of life; and she had not, on the other
hand, lived long enough to love the taste of it for the
memory’s sake of the enjoyment it once afforded.</p>
<p>Not but what we are obliged to admit that cowslip-tea is one
of those things which, even in the most enthusiastic days of
youth, just falls short of the absolute perfection one expects
from it.</p>
<p>Even under those most favourable circumstances of having had
the delightful gathering of the flowers in the sweet sunny
fields—the picking of them in the happy holiday
afternoon—the permission to use the best doll’s
tea-service for the feast—the loan of a nice white
table-cloth—and the present of half-a-dozen pewter knives
and forks to fancy-cut the biscuits with—nay, even in spite
of the addition of well-filled doll’s sugar-pots and
cream-jugs—cowslip-tea always seems to want either a leetle
more or a leetle less sugar—or a leetle more or a leetle
less cream—or to be a leetle more or a leetle less
strong—to turn it into that complete nectar which, of
course, it really <i>is</i>.</p>
<p>On the present occasion, however, the children had clearly got
hold of some other source of enjoyment over the annual
cowslip-tea feast, besides the beverage itself; and Aunt Judy,
glad to see them so safely happy, went off to her business at the
wardrobe, while the little ones resumed their game.</p>
<p>“Very extraordinary, indeed, ma’am!” began
one of the fancy old ladies, in a completely fancy voice, a
little affected, or so. “<i>Most</i> extraordinary,
ma’am, I may say!”</p>
<p>(Here there was a renewed giggle from No. 4, which she
carefully smothered in her handkerchief.)</p>
<p>“But still I think I can tell you of something more
extraordinary still!”</p>
<p>The speaker having at this point refreshed his ideas by a sip
of the pale-coloured tea, and the other ladies having laughed
heartily in anticipation of the fun that was coming, one of them
observed:—</p>
<p>“You don’t <i>say</i> so,
ma’am—” then clicked astonishment with her
tongue against the roof of her mouth several times, and added
impressively, “<i>Pray</i> let us hear!”</p>
<p>“I shall be most happy, ma’am,” resumed the
first speaker, with a graceful inclination forwards.
“Well!—you see—it was a party. I had
invited some of my most distinguished friends—really,
ma’am, <i>fashionable</i> friends, I may say, to dinner;
and, ahem! you see—some little anxiety always attends such
affairs—even—in the best regulated
families!”</p>
<p>Here the speaker winked considerably at No. 4, and laughed
very loudly himself at his own joke.</p>
<p>“Dear me, you must excuse me, ma’am,” he
proceeded. “So, you see, I felt a little fatigued by
my morning’s exertions, (to tell you the truth, there had
been no end of bother about everything!) and I retired quietly
up-stairs to take a short nap before the dressing-bell
rang. But I had not been laid down quite half an hour, when
there was a loud knock at the door. Really, ma’am, I
felt quite alarmed, but was just able to ask, ‘Who’s
there?’ Before I had time to get an answer, however,
the door was burst open by the housemaid. Her face was
absolute scarlet, and she sobbed out:—</p>
<p>“‘Oh, ma’am, what shall we do?’</p>
<p>“‘Good gracious, Hannah,’ cried I,
‘what can be the matter? Has the soot come down the
chimney? Speak!’</p>
<p>“‘It’s nothing of that sort,
ma’am,’ answered Hannah, ‘it’s the
cook!’</p>
<p>“‘The cook!’ I shouted. ‘I wish
you would not be so foolish, Hannah, but speak out at once.
What about Cook?’</p>
<p>“‘Please, m’m, the cook’s lost!’
says Hannah. ‘We can’t find her!’</p>
<p>“‘Your wits are lost, Hannah, <i>I</i>
think,’ cried I, and sent her to tidy the rooms while I
slipt downstairs to look for the cook.</p>
<p>“Fancy a lost cook, ma’am! Was there ever
such a ridiculous idea? And on the day of a dinner-party
too! Did you ever hear of such a trial to a lady’s
feelings before?”</p>
<p>“Never, I am sure,” responded the lady
opposite. “Did <i>you</i>, ma’am?”
turning to her neighbour.</p>
<p>But the other three ladies all shook their heads, bit their
lips, and declared that they “Never had, they were
sure!”</p>
<p>“I thought not!” ejaculated the narrator.
“Well, ma’am, I went into the kitchens, the larder,
the pantries, the cellars, and all sorts of places, and still no
cook! Do you know, she really was nowhere! Actually,
ma’am, the cook was lost!”</p>
<p>Shouts of laughter burst forth here; but the lady (who was No.
5) put up his hand, and called out in his own natural
tones:—</p>
<p>“Stop! I haven’t got to the end
yet!”</p>
<p>“Order!” proclaimed No. 4 immediately, in a very
commanding voice, and thumping the table with the head of an old
wooden doll to enforce obedience.</p>
<p>And then the sham lady proceeded in the same mincing voice as
before:—</p>
<p>“Well!—dear me, I’m quite put out. But
however, you see—what was to be done, that was the
thing. It wanted only half an hour to dinner-time, and
there was the meat roasting away by itself, and the potatoe-pan
boiling over. You never heard such a fizzling as it made in
your life—in short, everything was in a mess, and there was
no cook.</p>
<p>“Well! I basted the meat for a few minutes, took
the potatoe-pan off the fire, and then ran up-stairs to put on my
bonnet. Thought I, the best thing I can do is to send
somebody for the policeman, and let <i>him</i> find the
cook. But while I was tying the strings of my bonnet, I
fancied I heard a mysterious noise coming out of the bottom
drawer of my wardrobe. Fancy that, ma’am, with my
nerves in such a state from the cook being lost!”</p>
<p>No. 5 paused, and looked round for sympathy, which was most
freely given by the other ladies, in the shape of sighs and
exclamations.</p>
<p>“The drawer was a very deep drawer, ma’am, so I
thought perhaps the cat had crept in,” continued No.
5. “Well, I went to it to see, and there it was,
partly open, with a cotton gown in it that didn’t belong to
me. Imagine my feelings at <i>that</i>, ma’am!
So I pulled at the handles to get the drawer quite open, but it
wouldn’t come, it was as heavy as lead. It was really
very alarming—one doesn’t like such odd things
happening—but at last I got it open, though I tumbled
backwards as I did so; and what do you think,
ma’am—ladies—what <i>do</i> you think was in
it?”</p>
<p>“The cook!” shrieked No. 4, convulsed with
laughter; and the whole party clapped their hands and roared
applause.</p>
<p>“The cook, ma’am, actually the cook!”
pursued No. 5, “one of the fattest, most <i>poonchy</i>
little women you ever saw. And what do you think was the
history of it? I kept my up-stairs Pickwick in the corner
of that bottom drawer. She had seen it there that very
morning, when she was helping to dust the room, and took the
opportunity of a spare half-hour to slip up and rest herself by
reading it in the drawer. Unluckily, however, she had
fallen asleep, and when I got the drawer out, there she lay, and
I actually heard her snore. A shocking thing this
education, ma’am, you see, and teaching people to
read. All the cooks in the country are spoilt!”</p>
<p>Peals of laughter greeted this wonderfully witty concoction of
No. 5’s, and the lemon-coloured tea and biscuits were
partaken of during the pause which followed.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy meanwhile, who had been quite unable to resist
joining in the laugh herself, was seated on the floor, behind the
open door of the wardrobe, thinking to herself of certain
passages in Wordsworth’s most beautiful ode, in which he
has described the play of children,</p>
<blockquote><p>“As if their whole vocation<br/>
Were endless imitation.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Truly they had got hold here of strange</p>
<blockquote><p>“Fragments from their dream of human
life.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Where <i>could</i> the children have picked up the original of
such absurd nonsense?</p>
<p>Aunt Judy had no time to make it out, for now the mincing
voices began again, and she sat listening.</p>
<p>“Have <i>you</i> had no curious adventures with your
maids, ma’am?” inquires No. 5 of No. 4.</p>
<p>No. 5 makes an attempt at a bewitching grin as he speaks,
fanning himself with a fan which he has had in his hand all the
time he was telling his story.</p>
<p>“Well, ladies,” replied No. 4, only just able to
compose herself to talk, “I don’t think I <i>have</i>
been quite as fortunate as yourselves in having so many
extraordinary things to tell. My servants have been sadly
common-place, and done just as they ought. But still,
<i>once</i>, ladies—once, a curious little incident did
occur to me.”</p>
<p>“Oh, ma’am, I entreat you—pray let us hear
it!” burst from all the ladies at once.</p>
<p>No. 4 had to bite her lip to preserve her gravity, and then
she turned to No. 5—</p>
<p>“The fan, if you please, ma’am!”</p>
<p>The rule was, that the one fan was placed at the disposal of
the story-teller for the time, so No. 5 handed it to No. 4, with
a graceful bow; and No. 4 waffed it to and fro immediately, and
began her account:—</p>
<p>“People are so unscrupulous you see, ladies, about
giving characters. It’s really shocking. For my
part, I don’t know what the world will come to at
last. We shall all have to be our own servants, I
suppose. People say anything about anything, that’s
the fact! Only fancy, ma’am, three different ladies
once recommended a cook to me as the best soup-maker in the
country. Now that sounded a very high recommendation, for,
of course, if a cook can make soups, she can do
anything—sweetmeats and those kind of things follow of
themselves. So, ma am, I took her, and had a dinner-party,
and ordered two soups, entirely that I might show off what a good
cook I had got. Think what a compliment to her, and how
much obliged she ought to have been! Well, ma’am, I
ordered the two soups, as I said, one white, and the other brown;
and everything appeared to be going on in the best possible
manner, when, as I was sitting in the drawing-room entertaining
the company, I was told I was wanted.</p>
<p style="text-align: center">
<SPAN href="images/p48b.jpg">
<ANTIMG alt="Playing at ladies" title= "Playing at ladies" src="images/p48s.jpg" /></SPAN></p>
<p>“When I got out of the room, there was the man I had
hired to wait, and says he:—</p>
<p>“‘If you please, ma’am where are the
knives? I can’t find any at all!’</p>
<p>“‘No knives!’ says I. ‘Dear me,
don’t come to me about the knives. Ask the cook, of
course.’</p>
<p>“‘Please, ma’am, I have asked her, and she
only laughed.’</p>
<p>“‘Then,’ said I, ‘ask the
housemaid. It’s impossible for me to come out and
look for the knives.’</p>
<p>“Well, ladies,” continued No. 4, “would you
believe it?—could anyone believe it?—when I sat down
to dinner, and began to help the soup, no sooner had the silver
ladle (<i>my</i> ladle is silver, ladies) been plunged into the
tureen, than a most singular rattling was heard.</p>
<p>“‘William,’ cried I, half in a whisper, to
the waiter who was holding the plate, ‘what in the world is
this? Surely Cook has not left the bones in?’</p>
<p>“‘Please, ma’am, I don’t know,’
was all the man could say.</p>
<p>“Well—there was no remedy now, so I dipped the
ladle in again, and lifted out—oh! ma’am, I know if
it was anybody but myself who told you, you wouldn’t
believe it—a ladleful of the lost knives! There they
were, my best beautiful ivory handles, all in the white
soup! And while I was discovering them, the gentleman at
the other end of the table had found all the kitchen-knives, with
black handles, in the brown soup!</p>
<p>“There never was anything so mortifying before.
And what do you think was Cook’s excuse, when I reproached
her?</p>
<p>“‘Please, ma’am,’ said she, ‘I
read in the <i>Young Woman’s Vademecum of Instructive
Information</i>, page 150, that there was nothing in the world so
strengthening and wholesome as dissolved bones, and ivory-dust;
and so, ma’am, I always make a point of throwing in a few
knives into every soup I have the charge of, for the sake of the
handles—ivory-handles for white soups, ma’am, and
black-handles for the browns!’”</p>
<p>Thunders of applause interrupted Cook’s excuse at this
point, and No. 7 was so overcome that he pushed his chair back,
and performed three distinct somersets on the floor, to the
complete disorganization of his head-dress, which consisted of a
turban, from beneath which hung a cluster of false curls.</p>
<p>Turban and wig being replaced, however, and No. 7 reseated and
composed, No. 4 proceeded:—</p>
<p>“Cook generally takes them out, she informed me, ladies,
before the tureens come to table; ‘but,’ said she,
‘my back was turned for a minute here, ma’am, and
that stupid William carried them off without asking if they were
ready. It’s all William’s fault, ma’am;
and I don’t mean to stay, for I don’t like a place
where the man who waits has no tact!’</p>
<p>“Now, ladies,” continued No. 4, “what do you
think of that by way of a speech from a cook? And I assure
you that a medical man’s wife, to whom I mentioned in the
course of the evening what Cook had said about dissolved bones,
told me that her husband had only laughed, and said Cook was
quite right. So she hired the woman that night herself, and
I have been told in confidence since—you’ll not
repeat it, therefore, of course, ladies?”</p>
<p>“Of course not!” came from all sides.</p>
<p>“Well, then, I was told that, before the year was out,
the family hadn’t a knife that would cut anything, they
were so cankered with rust. So much for education and
learning to read, as you justly observed, ma’am,
before!”</p>
<p>When the emotions produced by this tale had a little subsided,
No. 7 was called upon for his experience of maids.</p>
<p>No. 7, with the turban on his head, and a fine red necklace
round his throat, said he took very little notice of the maids,
but that he once had had a very tiresome little boy in buttons,
who was extremely fond of sugar, and always carried the
sugar-shaker in his pocket, and ate up the sugar that was in it,
and when it was empty, filled it up with magnesia.</p>
<p>“But <i>once</i>,” he added, “ladies, he
actually put some soda in. It was at a party, and we had
our first rhubarb tart for the season, and the company sprinkled
it all over with the soda and began to eat, but they were too
polite to say how nasty it was. But, of course, when I was
helped I called out. And what do you think the boy in
buttons said?”</p>
<p>Nobody could guess, so No. 7 had to tell them.</p>
<p>“He said he had put it in on purpose, because he thought
it would correct the acid of the pie. So I said he had best
be apprenticed to a doctor; so he went—I dare say,
ma’am, it was the same doctor who took your cook—but
I never heard of him any more, and I’ve never dared to have
a boy in buttons again.”</p>
<p>“A very wise decision, ma’am, I’m
sure!” cried Aunt Judy, who came up to the wonderful
tea-table in the midst of the last mound of applause.
“And now may I ask what game this is that you are playing
at?”</p>
<p>“Oh, we’re telling <i>Cook Stories</i>, Aunt
Judy,” cried No. 6, seizing her by the arm;
“they’re such capital fun! I wish you had heard
mine; they were laughing at it when you first came in!”</p>
<p>“It must have been delicious, to judge by the delight it
gave,” replied Aunt Judy, smiling, and kissing No.
6’s oddly bedizened up-turned face. “But what I
want to know is, what put Cook Stories, as you call them, into
your head?”</p>
<p>“Oh! don’t you remember—” and here
followed a long account from No. 6 of how, about a week before,
the little ones had gone somewhere to spend the day, and how it
had turned out a very rainy day, so that they could not have
games out of doors with their young friends, as had been
expected, but were obliged to sit a great part of the time in the
drawing-room, putting Chinese puzzles together into stupid
patterns, and playing at fox-and-goose, while the ladies were
talking “grown-up conversation,” as No. 6 worded it,
among themselves; and, of course, being on their own good
behaviour, and very quiet, they could not help hearing what was
said. “And, oh dear, Aunt Judy,” continued No.
6, now with both her arms holding Aunt Judy, of whom she was very
fond, (except at lesson times!) round the waist, “it was so
odd! No. 7 and I did nothing at last but listen and watch
them; for little Miss, who sat with us, was shy, and
wouldn’t talk, and it was so very funny to see the ladies
nodding and making faces at each other, and whispering, and
exclaiming, how shocking! how abominable! you don’t say so!
and all that kind of thing!”</p>
<p>“Well, but what was shocking, and abominable, and all
that kind of thing?” inquired Aunt Judy.</p>
<p>“Oh, I don’t know—things the nurses, and
cooks, and boys in buttons did. Almost all the ladies had
some story to tell—all the servants had done something or
other queer—but especially the cooks, Aunt Judy, there was
no end to the cooks. So one day after we came back, and we
didn’t know what to play at, I said: ‘Do let us play
at telling Cook Stories, like the ladies at
—.’ So we’ve dressed up, and played at
Cook Stories, ever since. Dear Aunt Judy, I wish you would
invent a Cook Story yourself!” was the conclusion of No.
6’s account.</p>
<p>So then the mystery was out. Aunt Judy’s
wonderings were cut short. Out of the real life of
civilized intelligent society had come those</p>
<blockquote><p>“Fragments from their dream of human
life,”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>which Aunt Judy had called absurd nonsense. And absurd
nonsense, indeed, it was; but Aunt Judy was seized by the idea
that some good might be got out of it.</p>
<p>So, in answer to No. 6’s wish, she said, with a shy
smile:—</p>
<p>“I don’t think I could tell Cook Stories half as
well as yourself. But if, by way of a change, you would
like a <i>Lady</i> Story instead, perhaps I might be able to
accomplish that.”</p>
<p>“A <i>Lady</i> Story! Oh, but that would be so
dull, wouldn’t it?” inquired No. 6. “You
can’t make anything funny out of them, surely! Surely
they never do half such odd things as cooks, and boys in
buttons!”</p>
<p>“The ladies themselves think not, of course,” was
Aunt Judy’s reply.</p>
<p>“Well, but what do you think, Aunt Judy?”</p>
<p>“Oh, I don’t think it matters what I think.
The question is, what do cooks and boys in buttons
think?”</p>
<p>“But, Aunt Judy, ladies are never tiresome, and idle,
and impertinent, like cooks and boys in buttons. Oh! if you
had but heard the <i>real</i> Cook Stories those ladies
told! I say, let me tell you one or two—I do think I
can remember them, if I try.”</p>
<p>“Then don’t try on any account, dear No. 6,”
exclaimed Aunt Judy. “I like make-believe Cook
Stories much better than real ones.”</p>
<p>“So do I!” cried No. 7, “they’re so
much the more entertaining.”</p>
<p>“And not a bit less useful,” subjoined Aunt Judy,
with a sly smile.</p>
<p>“Well, I didn’t see much good in the real
ones,” pursued No. 7, in a sort of muse.</p>
<p>“Let us tell you another make-believe one, then,”
cried No. 6, who saw that Aunt Judy was moving off, and wanted to
detain her.</p>
<p>“Then it’s <i>my</i> turn!” shouted No. 8,
jumping up, and stretching out his arm and hand like a young
orator flushed to his work. And actually, before the rest
of the little ones could put him down or stop him, No. 8
contrived to tumble out the Cook Story idea, which had probably
been brewing in his head all the time of Aunt Judy’s
talk.</p>
<p>It was very brief, and this was it, delivered in much haste,
and with all the earnestness of a maiden speech.</p>
<p>“<i>I</i> had a button boy too, and he was a—what
d’ye call it—oh, a <i>rascal</i>, that was
it;—he was a rascal, and liked the currants in mince-pies,
so he took them all out, and ate them up, and put in glass beads
instead. So when the people began to ear, their teeth
crunched against the beads! Ah! bah! how nasty it
was!”</p>
<p>No. 8 accompanied this remark with a corresponding grimace of
disgust, and then observed in conclusion:—</p>
<p>“Perhaps he found it in a book, but I don’t know
where,” after which he lowered his outstretched arm,
smiled, and sat down.</p>
<p>The company clapped applause, and No. 4 especially must have
been very fond of laughing, for the glass-bead anecdote set her
off again as heartily as ever, and the rest followed in her wake,
and while so doing, never noticed that Aunt Judy had slipped
away.</p>
<p>They soon discovered it, however, when their mirth began to
subside; but before they had time to wonder much, there appeared
from behind the door of the wardrobe a figure, which in their
secret souls they knew to be Aunt Judy herself, although it
looked a great deal stouter, and had a thick-filled cap on its
head, a white linen apron over its gown, and a pair of spectacles
on its nose. At sight of it they showed signs of clapping
again, but stopped short when it spoke to them as a stranger, and
willingly received it as such.</p>
<p>Ah! it is one of the sweet features of childhood that it
yields itself up so readily to any little surprise or delusion
that is prepared for its amusement. No nasty pride, no
disinclination to be carried away, no affected indifference,
interfere with young children’s enjoyment of what is
offered them. They will even help themselves into the
pleasant visions by an effort of will; and perhaps, now and then,
end by partly believing what they at first received voluntarily
as an agreeable make-believe.</p>
<p>If, therefore, after the cook figure of Aunt Judy had seated
itself by the doll’s table, and the little ones had looked
and grinned at it for some time, hazy sensations began to steal
over one or two minds, that this <i>was</i> somehow really a
cook, it was all in the natural course of things, and nobody
resisted the feeling.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy’s altered voice, and odd, assumed manner,
contributed, no doubt, a good deal to the impression.</p>
<p>“Dear, dear! what pretty little darlings you all
are!” she began, looking at them one after another.
“As sweet as sugar-plums, when you have your own way, and
are pleased. Eh, dears? But you don’t think you
can take old Cooky in, do you? No, no, I know what ladies
and gentlemen, and ladies’ and gentlemen’s
<i>young</i> ladies and <i>young</i> gentlemen are, pretty well,
dears, I can tell you! Don’t I know all about the
shiny hair and smiling faces of the little pets in the parlour,
and how they leave parlour-manners behind them sometimes, when
they run to the kitchen to Cook, and order her here and there,
and want half-a-dozen things at once, and must and will have what
they want, and are for popping their fingers into every pie!</p>
<p>“Well, well,” she proceeded, “the
parlour’s the parlour, and the kitchen’s the kitchen,
and I’m only a cook. But then I conduct myself
<i>as</i> Cook, even when I’m in the scullery, and I only
wish ladies, and ladies’ <i>young</i> ladies too, would
conduct themselves as ladies, even when they come into the
kitchen; that’s what I call being honourable and
upright. Well, dears, I’ll tell you how I came to
know all about it. You see, I lived once in a family where
there were no less than eight of those precious little pets, and
a precious time I had of it with them. But, to be sure, now
it’s past and gone—I can make plenty of excuses for
them, poor things! They were so coaxed and flattered, and
made so much of, what could be expected from them but tiresome,
wilful ways, without any sense?</p>
<p>“‘If your mamma would but put <i>you</i> into the
scullery, young miss, to learn to wash plates and scour the pans
out, she’d make a woman of you,’ used I to think to
myself when a silly child, who thought itself very clever to
hinder other people’s work, would come hanging about in the
kitchen, doing nothing but teaze and find fault, for that’s
what a girl can always do.</p>
<p>“It was very aggravating, you may be sure, dears, (you
see I can talk to you quite reasonably, because you’re so
nicely behaved;)—it was very aggravating, of course; but I
used to make allowances for them. Says I to myself,
‘Cook, you’ve had the blessing of being brought up to
hard work ever since you were a babby. You’ve had to
earn your daily bread. Nobody knows how that brings people
to their senses till they’ve tried; so don’t you go
and be cocky, because ladies and gentlemen, and ladies’ and
gentlemen’s <i>young</i> ladies and <i>young</i> gentlemen,
are not quite so sensible as you are. Who knows but what,
if you’d been born to do nothing, you might have been no
wiser than them! It’s lucky for you you’re only
a cook; but don’t you go and be cocky, that’s
all! Make allowances; it’s the secret of
life!’</p>
<p>“So you see, dears, I <i>did</i> make allowances; and
after the eight little pets was safe in bed till next morning, I
used to feel quite composed, and pitiful-like towards them, poor
little dears! But certainly, when morning came, and the
oldest young master was home for the holidays, it was a trying
time for me, and I couldn’t think of the allowances any
longer. Either he wouldn’t get up and come down till
everyone else had had their breakfast, and so he wanted fresh
water boiled, and fresh tea made, and another muffin toasted, and
more bacon fried; or else he was up so outrageous early, that he
was scolding because there was no hot water before the fire was
lit—bless you, he hadn’t a bit of sense in his head,
poor boy, not a bit! And how should he? Why, he went
to school as soon as he was out of petticoats, and was set to all
that Latin and Greek stuff that never puts anything useful into
folks’ heads, but so much more chatter and talk; so he came
back as silly as he went, poor thing! Dear me, on a wet
day, after lesson-time, those boys were like so many crazy
creatures. ‘Cook, I must make a pie,’ says
one. ‘There’s a pie in the oven already, Master
James,’ says I. ‘I don’t care about the
pie in the oven,’ says he, ‘I want a pie of my
own. Bring me the flour, and the water, and the butter, and
all the things—and, above all, the rolling-pin—and
clear the decks, will you, I say, for my pie. Here
goes!’ And here used to go, my dears, for Master
James had no sense, as I told you; and so he’d shove all my
pots and dishes away, one on the top of the other; and let me be
as busy as I would, and dinner ever so near ready, the dresser
must be cleared, and everything must give way to <i>his</i>
pie! His pie, indeed—I wish I had had the management
of his pie just then! I’d have taught him what it was
to come shaking the rolling-pin at the head of a respectable
cook, who wanted to get her business done properly, as in duty
bound!</p>
<p>“But he wasn’t the only one. There was
little Whipper-snapper, his younger brother, squeaking out in
another corner, ‘I shan’t make a pie, James, I shall
make toffey; it’s far better fun. You’d better
come and help me. Where’s the treacle pot,
Cook? Cook! I say, Cook! where’s the
treacle-pot? And look at this stupid kettle and pan.
What’s in the pan, I wonder? Oh, kidney-beans!
Who cares for kidney-beans? How can I make toffey, when all
these things are on the fire? Stay, I’ll hand them
all off!’</p>
<p>“And, sure enough, if I hadn’t rushed from Master
James, who was drinking away at my custard out of the bowl, to
seize on Whipper-snapper, who had got his hand on the
vegetable-pan already, he would have pulled it and the kettle,
and the whole concern, off the fire, and perhaps scalded himself
to death.</p>
<p>“Then, of course, there comes a scuffle, and Master
Whipper-snapper begins to roar, and out comes Missus, who, poor
thing, had no more sense in her head than her sons, though
she’d never been to school to lose it over Latin and Greek;
and, says she, with all her ribbons streaming, and her petticoats
swelled out like a window-curtain in a draught—says
she:—</p>
<p>“‘Cook! I desire that you will not touch my
children!’</p>
<p>“‘As you please, ma’am,’ says I,
‘if you’ll be so good as to stop the young gentlemen
from touching my pans, and—’ I was going to say
‘custard,’ but Master James shouts out quite
quick:—</p>
<p>“‘Why, I only wanted to make a pie,
mamma.’</p>
<p>“‘And I only wanted to make some toffey!’
cries Whipper-snapper; and then mamma answers, like a duchess at
court:—</p>
<p>“‘There can’t possibly be any objection, my
dears; and I wish, Cook, you would he a little more good-natured
to the children;—your temper is sadly against
you!’</p>
<p>“And out she sails, ribbons and window-curtains and all;
and, says I to myself, as I cooled down, (for the young gentlemen
luckily went away with their dear mama,)—says I to myself,
‘It’s a very fine thing, no doubt, to go about in
ribbons, and petticoats, and grand clothes; but, if one must
needs carry such a poor, silly head inside them, as Missus does,
I’d rather stop as I am, and be a cook with some sense
about me.’</p>
<p>“I don’t say, my dears,” continued the
supposed cook, “that I spoke very politely just then; but
who could feel polite, when their dinner had been put back at
least half-an-hour over such nonsense as that? Missus used
to say the ‘dear boys’ came to the kitchen on a wet
day, because they’d got <i>nothing else to do</i>!
Nothing else to do! and had learnt Latin and Greek, and all sorts
of schooling besides! So much for education, thought
I. Why, it would spoil the best lads that ever were born
into the world. For, of course, you know if these young
gentlemen had been put to decent trades, they’d have found
something else to do with their fingers besides mischief and
waste. And, dear me, I talk about not having been polite to
Missus just then, but now you tell me, dears, what Missus, with
all her education, would have said if she’d been in my
place, when one young gentleman was drinking her custard, and
another young gentleman was pulling her pans on the floor!
Do you think she’d have been a bit more polite than I
was? Wouldn’t she have called me all the stupid
creatures that ever were born, and told the story over and over
to all her friends and acquaintance to make them stare, and say
there were surely no such simpletons in the world as ladies and
gentlemen, and ladies’ and gentlemen’s young ladies
and young gentlemen?</p>
<p>“However, I did not go as far as that, because, you see,
I had some sense about me, and could make allowances for all the
nonsense the poor things are brought up to.”</p>
<p>There was no resisting the twinkle in Aunt Judy’s eye
when she came to this point, though it shone through an old pair
of Nurse’s spectacles; and the little ones clapped their
hands, and declared it was every bit as good as a Cook story,
<i>only a great deal better</i>! That twinkle had quite
brought Aunt Judy back to them again, in spite of her
cook’s attire, and No. 6 cried out:—</p>
<p>“Oh! don’t stop, Aunt Judy! Do go on, Cooky
dear! do tell some more! Did you always live in that place,
please?”</p>
<p>“There now!” exclaimed Aunt Judy, throwing herself
back in the chair, “isn’t that a regular young
lady’s question, out and out? Who but a young lady,
with no more sense in her head than a pin, would have thought of
asking such a thing? Why, miss, is there a joint in the
world that can bear basting for ever? No, no! a time comes
when it must be taken down, if any good’s to be left in it;
and so at the end of three years my basting-time was over, and
the time for taking down was come.</p>
<p>“‘Cook,’ says I to myself, ‘you must
give in. If you go on with those cherubs (that was their
company name, you know) much longer, there won’t be a bit
of you left!’ And, sure enough, that very morning,
dears, they’d come down upon me with a fresh grievance, and
I couldn’t stand it, I really couldn’t! The
sweeps had been by four o’clock to the kitchen chimney, and
I’d been up and toiling every minute since, and
hadn’t had time to eat my breakfast, when in they
burst—the young ladies, not the sweeps, dears, I
mean:—and there they broke out at once—I hadn’t
fed their sea-gulls before breakfast—(a couple of
dull-looking grey birds, with big mouths, that had come in a
hamper over night as a present to the cherubs;) and it seems I
ought to have been up before daylight almost, to look for slugs
for them in the garden till they’d got used to the
place!</p>
<p>“Oh, these ladies and gentlemen! they’d need know
something of some sort to make amends, for there are many things
they never know all their life long!</p>
<p>“‘Young ladies,’ says I, ‘I
didn’t come here to get meals ready for sea-gulls, but
Christian ladies and gentlemen. If the sea-gulls want a
cook, your mamma must hire them one on purpose. I’ve
plenty to do for her and the family, without looking after such
nonsense as that!’</p>
<p>“‘That’s what you always say,’
whimpers the youngest Miss; ‘and you know they don’t
want any cooking, but only raw slugs! And you know you
might easily look for them, because you’ve got almost
nothing to do, because it’s such an easy place, mamma
always says. But you’re always cross, mamma says that
too, and everybody knows you are, because she tells
everybody!’</p>
<p>“When little Miss had got that out, she thought
she’d finished me up; and so she had, for when I heard that
Missus was so ungenteel as to go talking of what I did, to all
her acquaintance, and had nothing better to talk about, I made up
my mind that I’d give notice that very day.</p>
<p>“‘Very well, miss,’ says I, ‘your
mamma shall soon have something fresh to talk about, and I hope
she’ll find it a pleasant change.’</p>
<p>“There was some of them knew what I meant at once, for
after they’d scampered off I heard shouts up and down the
stairs from one to the other, ‘Cook’s
going!’ ‘We shall have a new cook
soon!’ ‘What a lark we’ll have with the
toffey and the pies! We’ll make her do just as we
choose!’</p>
<p>“‘There, now,’ thought I to myself,
‘there’ll be somebody else put down to baste before
long. Well, I’m glad my time’s
over.’ And thereupon I fell to wishing I was back
again in father and mother’s ricketty old cottage, that
I’d once been so proud to leave, to go and live with
gentlefolks. But, you see, it was no use wishing, for
I’d my bread to earn, and must turn out somewhere, let it
be as disagreeable as it would. Father and mother were
dead, and there was no ricketty cottage for me to go back to, so
I wiped my eyes, and told myself to make the best of what had to
be.</p>
<p>“Well, dears,” pursued Cooky, after a short pause,
during which the little ones looked far more inclined to cry than
laugh, “Missus was quite taken aback when she heard I
wouldn’t stay any longer.</p>
<p>“‘Cook,’ she said, ‘I’m
perfectly astonished at your want of sense in not recognizing the
value of such a situation as mine! and as to your complaints
about the children, anything more ridiculously unreasonable I
never heard! Such superior, well-taught young people, you
are not very likely to meet with again in a hurry!’</p>
<p>“‘Perhaps not, ma’am,’ says I,
‘in French, and crochet, and the piano, and Latin, and
things I don’t understand, being only a cook. But I
know what behaviour is, and that’s what I’m sure the
young ladies and gentlemen have never been taught; or if they
have, they’re so slow at taking it in, that I think I shall
do better with a family where the behaviour-lessons come
first!’</p>
<p>“Missus was very angry, and so was I; but at last she
said:—</p>
<p>“‘Cook, I shall not argue with you any longer; you
know no better, and I suppose I must make allowances for
you.’</p>
<p>“‘I’m much obliged to you, ma’am,
I’m sure,’ was my answer; ‘it’s what
I’ve always done by you ever since I came to the house, and
I’ll do it still with pleasure, and think no more of
what’s been said.’</p>
<p>“I spoke from my heart, I can tell you, dears, for I
felt very sorry for Missus, and thought she was but a lady after
all, and perhaps I’d hardly made allowances enough.
I’d lost my temper, too, as I knew after she went
away. But, you see, while she was there, it was so
mortifying to be spoken to as if all the sense was on her side,
when I knew it was all on mine, wherever the French and crochet
may have been. Well, but the day before I left, I broke
down with another of them, as it’s fair that you should
know.</p>
<p>“I’d felt very lonely that day, busy as I was, and
in the afternoon I took myself into the scullery to give the pans
a sort of good-bye cleaning, and be out of everybody’s
way. But there, in the midst of it, comes the eldest young
gentleman flinging into the kitchen, shouting, ‘Cook!
Cook! Where’s Cook?’ as usual. I thought
he was after some of his old tricks, and I <i>had</i> been
fretting over those pans, thinking what a sad job it was to have
no home to go to in the world, so I gave him a very short
answer.</p>
<p>“‘Master James,’ says I, ‘I’ve
done with nonsense now, I can’t attend to you. You
must wait till the next cook comes.’</p>
<p>“But Master James came straight away to the scullery
door, and says he, ‘Cook, I’m not coming to
teaze. I’ve brought you a needle-book. There,
Cook! It’s full of needles. I put them all in
myself. Keep it, please.’</p>
<p>“Dear, dear, I can’t forget it yet,” pursued
Cook, “how Master James stood on the little stone step of
the scullery, with his arm stretched out, and the needle-book
that he’d bought for me in his hand. I don’t
know how I thanked him, I’m sure; but I had to go back to
the sink and wash the dirt off my hands before I could touch the
pretty little thing, and then I told him I would keep it as long
as ever I lived.</p>
<p>“He laughed, and says he, ‘Now shake hands,
Cooky,’ and so we shook hands; and then off he ran, and I
went back to my pans and fairly cried. ‘Why,
Cook,’ says I to myself, ‘that lad’s got as
good a heart as your own, after all. And as to sense and
behaviour, they haven’t been forced upon him yet, as they
have upon you. Latin’s Latin, and conduct’s
conduct, and one doesn’t teach the other; and it’s
too bad to expect more of people than what they’ve had
opportunity for.’</p>
<p>“Well, dears, that was the rule I always went by, and
I’ve been in many situations since—with single
ladies, and single gentlemen, and large families, and all; and
there was something to put up with in all of them; and they
always told me there was a good deal to put up with in me, and
perhaps there was. However, it doesn’t matter, so
long as Missus and servant go by one rule—<i>to make
allowances</i>, <i>and not expect more from people than what
they’ve had opportunity for</i>; and, above all, never to
be cocky when all the advantage is on their own side.
It’s a good rule, dears, and will stop many a foolish word
and idle tale, if you’ll go by it.”</p>
<p>Aunt Judy had finished at last, and she took off the old
spectacles and laid them on the doll’s table, and
paused.</p>
<p>“It <i>is</i> a good rule,” observed No. 4,
“and I shall go by it, and not tell real Cook Stories when
I grow up, I hope.”</p>
<p>“I love old Cooky,” cried No. 6, getting up and
hugging her round the neck; “but is it wrong, Aunt Judy, to
tell funny make-believe Cook Stories, like ours?”</p>
<p>“Not at all, No. 6,” replied Aunt Judy.
“My private belief is, that if you tell funny make-believe
Cook Stories while you’re little, you will be ashamed of
telling stupid real ones when you’re grown up.”</p>
<h2><SPAN name="page77"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>RABBITS’ TAILS.</h2>
<blockquote><p>“Death and its two-fold aspect!
wintry—one,<br/>
Cold, sullen, blank, from hope and joy shut out;<br/>
The other, which the ray divine hath touch’d,<br/>
Replete with vivid promise, bright as spring.”</p>
<p style="text-align: right"><span class="smcap">Wordsworth</span>.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>“<span class="smcap">Well</span> then; but you must
remember that I have been ill, and cannot be expected to invent
anything very entertaining.”</p>
<p>“Oh, we do remember, indeed, Aunt Judy; we have been so
miserable,” was the answer; and the speaker added, shoving
her little chair close up to her sister’s:—</p>
<p>“I said if you were not to get better, I shouldn’t
want to get better either.”</p>
<p>“Hush, hush, No. 6!” exclaimed Aunt Judy, quite
startled by the expression; “it was not right to say or
think that.”</p>
<p>“I couldn’t help it,” persisted No. 6.
“We couldn’t do without you, I’m
sure.”</p>
<p>“We can do without anything which God chooses to take
away,” was Aunt Judy’s very serious answer.</p>
<p>“But I didn’t want to do without,” murmured
No. 6, with her eyes fixed on the floor.</p>
<p>“Dear No. 6, I know,” replied Aunt Judy, kindly;
“but that is just what you must try not to feel.”</p>
<p>“I can’t help feeling it,” reiterated No. 6,
still looking down.</p>
<p>“You have not tried, or thought about it yet,”
suggested her sister; “but do think. Think what poor
ignorant infants we all are in the hands of God, not knowing what
is either good or bad for us; and then you will see how glad and
thankful you ought to be, to be chosen for by somebody wiser than
yourself. We must always be contented with God’s
choice about whatever happens.”</p>
<p>No. 6 still looked down, as if she were studying the pattern
of the rug, but she saw nothing of it, for her eyes were swimming
over with the tears that had filled into them, and at last she
said:—</p>
<p>“I could, perhaps, about some things, but <i>only not
that</i> about you. Aunt Judy, you know what I
mean.”</p>
<p>Aunt Judy leant back in her chair. “<i>Only not
that</i>.” It was, as she knew, the cry of the
universal world, although it broke now from the lips of a
child. And it was painful, though touching, to feel herself
the treasure that could not be parted with.</p>
<p>So there was a silence of some minutes, during which the hand
of the little sister lay in that of the elder one.</p>
<p>But the latter soon roused up and spoke.</p>
<p>“I’ll tell you what, No. 6, there’s nothing
so foolish as talking of how we shall feel, and what we shall do,
if so-and-so happens. Perhaps it never may happen, or, if
it does, perhaps we may be helped to bear it quite differently
from what we have expected. So we won’t say anything
more about it now.”</p>
<p>“I’m so glad!” exclaimed No. 6, completely
reassured and made comfortable by the cheerful tone of her
sister’s remark, though she had but a very imperfect idea
of the meaning of it, as she forthwith proved by rambling off
into a sort of self-defence and self-justification.</p>
<p>“And I’m not really a baby now, you know, Aunt
Judy! And I do know a great many things that are good and
bad for us. I know that <i>you</i> are good for us, even
when you scold over sums.”</p>
<p>“That is a grand admission, I must own,” replied
Aunt Judy, smiling; “I shall remind you of it some
day.”</p>
<p>“Well, you may,” cried No. 6, earnestly; and
added, “you see I’m not half as silly as you
thought.”</p>
<p>Aunt Judy looked at her, wondering how she should get the
child to understand what was passing through her own mind;
wondering, too whether it was right to make the attempt; and she
decided that on the whole it was; so she answered:—</p>
<p>“Ay, we grow wise enough among ourselves as we grow
older, and get to know a few more things. You are certainly
a little wiser than a baby in long petticoats, and I am a little
wiser than you, and mamma wiser than us both. But towards
God we remain ignorant infants all our lives. That was what
I meant.”</p>
<p>“But surely, Aunt Judy,” interrupted No. 6,
“mamma and you know—” There she
stopped.</p>
<p>“Nothing about God’s dealings,” pursued Aunt
Judy, “but that they are sure to be good for us, even when
we like them least, and cannot understand them at all. We
know so little what we ought really to like and dislike, dear No.
6, that we often fret and cry as foolishly as the two children
did, who, while they were in mourning for their mother, broke
their hearts over the loss of a set of rabbits’
tails.”</p>
<p>No. 6 sprang up at the idea. She had never heard of
those children before. Who were they? Had Aunt Judy
read of them in a book, or were they real children? How
could they have broken their hearts about rabbits’
tails? It must be a very curious story, and No. 6 begged to
hear it.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy had, however, a little hesitation about the
matter. There was something sad about the story; and there
was no exact teaching to be got out of it, though certainly if it
helped to shake No. 6’s faith in her own wisdom, a good
effect would be produced by listening to it. Also it was
not a bad thing now and then to hear of other people having to
bear trials which have not fallen to our own lot. It must
surely have a tendency to soften the heart, and make us feel more
dependent upon the God who gives and takes away. On the
whole, therefore, she would tell the story, so she made No. 6 sit
quietly down again, and began as follows:—</p>
<p>“There were once upon a time two little motherless
girls.”</p>
<p>No. 6’s excitement of expectation was hardly over, so
she tightened her hand over Aunt Judy’s, and
ejaculated:—</p>
<p>“Poor little things!”</p>
<p>“You may well say so,” continued Aunt Judy.
“It was just what everybody said who saw them at the
time. When they went about with their widowed father in the
country village where ‘they lived, even the poor women who
stood at their cottage door-steads, would look after them when
they had passed, and say with a sigh:—</p>
<p>“‘Poor little things!’</p>
<p>“When they went up to London in the winter to stay with
their grandmamma, and walked about in the Square in their little
black frocks and crape-trimmed bonnets, the ladies who saw
them,—even comparative strangers,—would turn round
arid say:—</p>
<p>“‘Poor little things!’</p>
<p>“If visitors came to call at the house, and the children
were sent for into the room, there was sure to be a whispered
exclamation directly among the grown-up people of, ‘Poor
little things!’ But oh, No. 6! the children
themselves did not think about it at all. What did they
know,—poor little things,—of the real misfortune
which had befallen them! They were sorry, of course, at
first, when they did not see their mamma as usual, and when she
did not come back to them as soon as they expected. But
some separation had taken place during her illness; and sometimes
before, she had been poorly and got well again; and sometimes she
had gone out visiting, and they had had to do without her till
she returned; and so, although the days and weeks of her absence
went on to months, still it was only the same thing they had felt
before, continued rather longer; and meantime the little events
of each day rose up to distract their attention. They got
up, and dined, and went to bed as usual. They were
sometimes merry, sometimes naughty, as usual. People made
them nice presents, or sent for them to pleasant treats, as
usual—perhaps more than usual; their father did all he
could to supply the place of the lost one, but never could name
her name; and soon they forgot that they had ever had a mamma at
all. Soon? Ay, long before friends and strangers lead
left off saying ‘Poor little things’ at sight of
them, and long before the black frocks and crape-trimmed bonnets
were laid aside, which, indeed, they wore double the usual length
of time.”</p>
<p>“And how old were they?” asked No. 6, in a
whisper.</p>
<p>“Four and five,” replied Aunt Judy; “old
enough to know what they liked and disliked from hour to
hour. Old enough to miss what had pleased them, till
something else pleased them as well. But not old enough to
look forward and know how much a mother is wanted in life; and,
therefore, what a terrible loss the loss of a mother
is.”</p>
<p>“It’s a very sad story I’m afraid,”
remarked No. 6.</p>
<p>“Not altogether,” said Aunt Judy, smiling,
“as you shall hear. One day the two little motherless
girls went hand in hand across one of the courts of the great
Charity Institution in London, where their grandmamma lived, into
the old archway entrance, and there they stood still, looking
round them, as if waiting for something. The old archway
entrance opened into a square, and underneath its shelter there
was a bench on one side, and on the other the lodge of the
porter, whose business it was to shut up the great gates at
night.</p>
<p>“The porter had often before looked at the motherless
children as they passed into the shadow of his archway, and said
to himself, ‘Poor little things;’ for just so, during
many years of his life, he had watched their young mother pass
through, and had exchanged words of friendly greeting with
her.</p>
<p>“And even now, although it was at least a year and a
half since her death, when he saw the waiting children seat
themselves on the bench opposite his door, the old thought stole
over his mind. How sad that she should have been taken away
so early from those little ones! How sad for them to be
left! No one—nothing—in this world, could
supply the loss of her protecting care.—<i>Poor little
things</i>!—and not the less so because they were
altogether unconscious of their misfortune; and here, with the
mourning casting a gloom over their fair young faces, were
looking with the utmost eagerness and delight towards the
doorway,—now and then slipping down from their seats to
take a peep into the Square, and see if what they expected was
coming,—now and then giggling to each other about the grave
face of the old man on the other side of the way.</p>
<p>“At last, one, who had been peeping a bit as before,
exclaimed, with a smothered shout, ‘Here he is!’ and
then the other joined her, and the two rushed out together into
the Square and stood on the pavement, stopping the way in front
of a lad, who held over his arm a basket containing hares’
and rabbits’ skins, in which he carried on a small
trade.</p>
<p style="text-align: center">
<SPAN href="images/p77b.jpg">
<ANTIMG alt="Here he is" title= "Here he is" src="images/p77s.jpg" /></SPAN></p>
<p>“They looked up with their smiling faces into his, and
he grinned at them in return, and then they said, ‘Have you
got any for us to-day?’ on which he set down his basket
before them, and told them they might have one or two if they
pleased, and down they knelt upon the pavement, examining the
contents of his basket, and talked in almost breathless whispers
to each other of the respective merits, the softness, colour, and
prettiness, of—what do you think?”</p>
<p>At the first moment No. 6, being engrossed by the story, could
not guess at all; but in another instant she recollected, and
exclaimed:—</p>
<p>“Oh, Aunt Judy, do you mean those were the
rabbits’ tails you told about?”</p>
<p>“They were indeed, No. 6,” replied Aunt Judy;
“their grandmamma’s cook had given them one or two
sometime before, and there being but few entertaining games which
two children can play at alone, and these poor little things
being a good deal left to themselves, they invented a play of
their own out of the rabbits’ tails. I think the
pleasant feel of the fur, which was so nice to cuddle and kiss,
helped them to this odd liking; but whatever may have been the
cause, certain it is they did get quite fond of
them—pretended that they could feel, and were real living
things, and talked of them, and to them, as if they were a party
of children.</p>
<p>“They called them ‘Tods’ and
‘Toddies,’ but they had all sorts of names besides,
to distinguish one from the other. There was,
‘Whity,’ and ‘Browny,’ and
‘Softy,’ and ‘Snuggy,’ and
‘Stripy,’ and many others. They knew almost
every hair of each of them, and I believe could have told which
was which, in the dark, merely by their feel.</p>
<p>“This sounds ridiculous enough, does it not, dear No.
6?” said Aunt Judy, interrupting herself.</p>
<p>No. 6 smiled, but she was too much interested to wish to talk;
so the story proceeded.</p>
<p>“Now you must know that I have looked rather curiously
at hares’ and rabbits’ tails myself since I first
heard the story; and there actually is more variety in them than
you would suppose. Some are nice little fat
things—almost round, with the hair close and fine; others
longer and more skinny, and with poor hair, although what there
is may be of a handsome colour. And as to colour, even in
rabbits’ tails, which are white underneath, there are all
shades from grey to dark brown one the upper side; and the
patterns and markings differ, as you know they do on the fur of a
cat. In short, there really is a choice even in
hares’ and rabbits’ tails, and the more you look at
them, the more delicate distinctions you will see.</p>
<p>“Well, the poor little girls knew all about this, and a
great deal more, I dare say, than I have noticed, for they had
played at fancy-life with them, till the Tods had become far more
to them than any toys they possessed; actually, in fact, things
to love; and I dare say if we could have watched them at night
putting their Tods to bed, we should have seen every one of them
kissed.</p>
<p>“It was a capital thing, as you may suppose, for keeping
the children quiet as well as happy in the nursery, at the top of
the London house, in one particular corner of which the basket of
Tods was kept. But when grandmamma’s bell rang, which
it did day by day as a summons, after the parlour breakfast was
over, the Tods were put away; and it was dolls, or reasonable
toys of some description, which the motherless little girls took
down with them to the drawing-room; and I doubt whether either
grandmamma or aunt knew of the Tod family in the basket
up-stairs.</p>
<p>“After the affair had gone on for a little time, the
children were accidentally in the kitchen when the rabbit-skin
dealer called, and the cook begged him to give them a tail or
two; and thenceforth, of course, they looked upon him as one of
their greatest friends; and if they wanted fresh Tods, they would
lie in wait for him in the archway entrance, for fear he should
go by without coming in to call at their grandmamma’s
house. And on the day I have described, two new brothers,
‘Furry’ and ‘Buffy,’ were introduced to
the Tod establishment, and the talking and delight that ensued,
lasted for the whole afternoon.</p>
<p>“Nobody knew, I believe; but certainly if anybody had
known how the hearts of those children were getting involved over
the dead rabbits’ tails, it would have been only right to
have tried to lead their affection into some better
direction. What a waste of good emotions it was, when they
cuddled up their Tods in an evening; invented histories of what
they had said and done during the day, and put them by at last
with caresses something very nearly akin to human
love!”</p>
<p>“Oh, dear Aunt Judy,” exclaimed No. 6, “if
their poor mamma had but been there!”</p>
<p>“All would have been right then, would it not, No.
6?”</p>
<p>No. 6 said “Yes” from the very depths of her
heart.</p>
<p>“<i>As it seems to us</i>, you should say,”
continued Aunt Judy; “but that is all. It could not
have seemed so to the God who took their mother away.”</p>
<p>“Aunt Judy—”</p>
<p>“No. 6, I am telling you a very serious truth. Had
it indeed been right for the children that their mother should
have lived, she would <i>not</i> have been taken away. For
some reason or other it was necessary that they should be without
the comfort, and help, and protection, of her presence in this
world. We cannot understand it, but a time may come when we
may see it all as clearly as we now see the folly of those
children who so doted upon senseless rabbits’
tails.”</p>
<p>“Oh, Aunt Judy, but it was still very, very
sad.”</p>
<p>“Yes, about that there cannot be a doubt, and I am as
much inclined as anybody else to say, ‘Poor little
things’ every time I mention them. But now let me go
on with the story, for it has a sort of end as well as
beginning. The Tod affair came at last to their
grandmamma’s ears.”</p>
<p>“I am so glad,” cried No. 6.</p>
<p>“You will not say so when I tell you how it
happened,” was Aunt Judy’s rejoinder.
“The fact was, that one unfortunate day one of the Tods
disappeared. Whether it lead been left out of the basket
when grandmamma’s bell rang, and so got swept away by the
nurse and burnt, I cannot say; but, at any rate, when the
children went to their play one morning, ‘Softy,’
their dear little ‘Softy,’ was gone. He was the
fattest-furred and finest-haired of all the Tod family, and the
one about whom they invented the prettiest stories; he was, in
fact, the model, the out-of-the-way-amiable pattern Tod.
They could not believe at first that he really was gone.
They hunted for him in every hole and corner of their nursery and
bed-room; they looked for him all along the passages; they tossed
all the other Tods out of the basket to find him, as if they
really were—even in their eyes—nothing but
rabbits’ tails; they asked all the servants about him, till
everybody’s patience was exhausted, and they got angry; and
then at last the children’s hope and temper were both
exhausted too, and they broke out into passionate crying.</p>
<p>“This was vexatious to the nurse, of course; but her
method of consolation was not very judicious.</p>
<p>“‘Why, bless my heart,’ was her beginning,
‘what nonsense! Didn’t the children know as
well as she did, that hares’ and rabbits’ tails were
not alive, and couldn’t feel? and what could it signify of
one of them was thrown away and lost? They’d a
basket-full left besides, and it was plenty of such rubbish as
that! They were all very well to play with up in the
nursery, but they were worth nothing when all was said and
done!’</p>
<p>“This was completely in vain, of course. The
children sat on the nursery floor and cried on just the same; and
by-and-by went away to the corner of the room where the
Tod-basket was kept, and bewailed the loss of poor
‘Softy’ to his brothers and sisters inside.</p>
<p>“As the time approached, however, for grandmamma’s
summoning bell, the nurse began to wonder what she could do to
stop this fretting, and cool the red eyes; so she tried the
coaxing plan, by way of a change.</p>
<p>“‘If she was such nice little girls with beautiful
dolls and toys, she never would fret so about a rabbit’s
tail, to be sure! And, besides, the boy was sure to be
round again very soon with the hare and rabbit skins; and if they
would only be good, and dry their eyes, she would get him to give
them as many more as they pleased. Quite fresh new
ones. She dared say they would be as pretty again as the
one that was lost.’</p>
<p>“If nurse had wished to hit upon an injudicious remark,
she could not have succeeded better. What did they care for
‘fresh new’ Tods instead of their dear
‘Softy?’ And the mere suggestion that any
others could be prettier, turned their regretful love into a sort
of passionate indignation; yet the nurse had meant well, and was
astonished when the conclusion of what was intended to be a kind
harangue, was followed by a louder burst of crying than ever.</p>
<p>“It must be owned that the little girls had by this time
got out of grief into naughtiness; and there was now quite as
much petted temper as sorrow in their tears; and lo! while they
were in the midst of this fretful condition, grandmamma’s
summoning bell was heard, and they were obliged to go down to
her.</p>
<p>“You can just imagine their appearance when they entered
the drawing-room with their eyes red and swelled, their cheeks
flushed, and anything but a pleasant expression over their
faces. Of course, grandmamma and aunt immediately made
inquiries as to the reason of so much disturbance, but the
children were scarcely able to utter the usual ‘good
morning;’ and when called upon to tell their cause of
trouble, did nothing but begin to cry afresh.</p>
<p>“Whereupon their aunt was dispatched up-stairs to find
out what was amiss; and then, for the first time, she heard from
the nurse the history of the Tod family, the children’s
devotion to them, and their present vexatious grief about the
loss of a solitary one of what she called their stupid bits of
nonsense.</p>
<p>“Foolish as the whole affair sounds in looking back upon
it, it certainly was one which required rather delicate handling,
and I doubt whether anybody but a mother could have handled it
properly. Grandmamma and aunt had every wish to do for the
best, but they hardly took enough into consideration, either the
bereaved condition of those motherless little ones, or their
highly fanciful turn of mind. Yet nobody was to blame; the
children spent all the summer with their father in the country,
and all the winter with their grandmamma in London; and,
therefore, no continued knowledge of their characters was
possible, for they were always birds of passage everywhere.
Certainly, however, it was a great mistake, under such
circumstances, for grandmamma and aunt to have broken rudely into
the one stronghold of childish comfort, which they had raised up
for themselves.”</p>
<p>Aunt Judy paused, and No. 6 really looked frightened as to
what was coming next, and asked what Aunt Judy could mean that
they did. “Were they very angry?”</p>
<p>“No, they were not very angry,” Aunt Judy said;
“perhaps if they had been only that, the whole thing would
have passed over and been forgotten.</p>
<p>“But they held grave consultation upon the subject, and
made it too serious, in my opinion, and I dare say you will think
so too. Meantime the naughty children were turned out of
the room while they talked, and the mystery of this, sobered
their temper considerably; so that they made no further
disturbance, but wandered up and down the stairs, and about the
hall, in silent discomfort.</p>
<p>“At one time they thought they heard the drawing-room
door open, and their aunt go up-stairs towards the nursery
department again; but then for a long while they heard no more;
and at last, childlike, began to amuse themselves by seeing how
far along the oil-cloth pattern they could each step, as they
walked the length of the hall, the great object being to stretch
from one particular diamond to another, without touching any
intermediate mark.</p>
<p>“In the midst of the excitement of this, they heard
their aunt’s voice calling to them from the middle of the
last flight of stairs. There was something in her face,
composed as it was, which alarmed them directly, and there they
stood quite still, gazing at her.</p>
<p>“‘Grandmamma and I,’ she began, ‘think
you have been very silly indeed in making such a fuss about those
rabbits’ tails; and you have been very naughty indeed
to-day, <i>very naughty</i>, in crying so ridiculously, and
teazing all the servants, because of one being lost. You
can’t play with them rationally, nurse is sure, and so we
think you will be very much better without them. Grandmamma
has sent me to tell you—<i>You will never see the Tods</i>,
<i>as you call them</i>, <i>any more</i>.’</p>
<p>“Aunt Judy, it was horrible!” cried No. 6;
“savage and horrible!” she repeated, and burst the
next instant into a flood of tears.</p>
<p>“Oh, my old darling No. 6,” cried Aunt Judy,
covering the sobbing child quite round with both her arms,
“surely <i>you</i> are not going into hysterics about the
rabbits’ tails too! I doubt if even their little
mammas did that. Come! you must cheer up, or mamma will
leave to be sent for to say that if you are so unreasonable, you
must never listen to Aunt Judy’s stories any
more.”</p>
<p>No. 6’s emotion began to subside under the comfortable
embrace, and Aunt Judy’s joke provoked a smile.</p>
<p>“There now, that’s good!” cried Aunt Judy;
“and now, if you won’t be ridiculous, I will finish
the story. I almost think the prettiest part is to
come.”</p>
<p>This was consolation indeed; but No. 6 could not resist a
remark.</p>
<p>“But, Aunt Judy, wasn’t that
aunt—”</p>
<p>“Hush, hush,” interrupted Aunt Judy, “I
apologized for both aunt and grandmamma before I told you what
they did. They meant to do for the best, and</p>
<blockquote><p>‘The best can do no more.’</p>
</blockquote>
<p>They cured the evil too, though in what you and I think rather
a rough manner. And rough treatment is sometimes very
effectual, however unpleasant. It was but a preparation for
the much harder disappointments of older life.”</p>
<p>“Poor little things!” ejaculated No. 6, once
more. “Just tell me if they cried
dreadfully.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think I care to talk much about that,
dear No. 6,” answered her sister. “They had
cried almost as much as they could do in one day, and were
stupified by the new misfortune, besides which, they had a
feeling all the time of having brought it on themselves by being
dreadfully naughty. It was a sad muddle altogether, I must
confess. The shock upon the poor children’s minds at
the time must have been very great, for the memory of that
bereavement clung to them through grown-up life, as a very
unpleasant recollection, when a thousand more important things
had passed away forgotten from their thoughts. In fact, as
I said, the motherless little girls really broke their hearts
over a parcel of rabbits’ tails. But I must go on
with the story. After a day or two of dull desolation, the
children wearied even of their grief. And both grandmamma
and aunt became very sorry for them, although the fatal subject
of the Tods was never mentioned; but they bought them several
beautiful toys which no child could help looking at or being
pleased with. Among these presents was a brown fur dog,
with a very nice face and a pair of bright black eyes, and a
curly tail hung over his back in a particularly graceful manner;
and this was, as you may suppose, in the children’s eyes,
the gem of all their new treasures. The feel of him
reminded them of the lost Tods; and in every respect he was, of
course, superior. They named him ‘Carlo,’ and
in a quiet manner established him as the favourite creature of
their play. And thus, by degrees, and as time went on,
their grief for the loss of the Tods abated somewhat; and at last
they began to talk about them to each other, which was a sure
sign that their feelings were softened.</p>
<p>“But you will never guess what turn their conversation
took. They did not begin to say how sorry they had been, or
were; nor did they make any angry remarks about their
aunt’s cruelty; but one day as they were sitting playing
with Carlo, in what may be called the Tod corner of the nursery,
the eldest child said suddenly to her sister, in a low voice</p>
<p>“‘What do you think our aunt has <i>really</i>
done with the Tods?’</p>
<p>“A question which seemed not at all to surprise the
other, for she answered, in the same mysterious tone:—</p>
<p>“‘I don’t know, but I don’t think she
<i>could</i> burn them.’</p>
<p>“‘And I don’t, either,’ was the
rejoinder. ‘Perhaps she has only put them somewhere
where <i>we</i> cannot get at them.’</p>
<p>“The next idea came from the younger child:—</p>
<p>“‘Do you think she’ll ever let us have them
back again?’</p>
<p>“But the answer to this was a long shake of the head
from the wiser elder sister. And then they began to play
with Carlo again.</p>
<p>“But after that day they used often to exchange a few
words together on the subject, although only to the same
effect—their aunt <i>could</i> not have burnt them, they
felt sure. She never said she had burnt them. She
only said, ‘<i>You will never see the Tods any
more</i>.’</p>
<p>“Perhaps she had only put them by; perhaps she had put
them by in some comfortable place; perhaps they were in their
little basket in some closet, or corner of the house, quite as
snug as up in the nursery.</p>
<p>“And here the conversation would break off again.
As to asking any questions of their aunt, <i>that</i> was a thing
that never crossed their minds. It was impossible; the
subject was so fatally serious! . . . But I believe there was an
involuntary peeping about into closets and out-of-the-way places
whenever opportunity offered; yet no result followed, and the
Tods were not found.</p>
<p>“One night, two or three months later, and just before
the little things were moved back from London to their country
home; and when they were in bed in their sleeping room, as usual,
and the nurse had left them, and had shut the door between them
and the day nursery, where she sat at work, the elder child
called out in a whisper to the younger one:—</p>
<p>“‘Sister, are you asleep?’</p>
<p>“‘No. Why?’</p>
<p>“‘I’ll tell you of a place where the Tods
may be.’</p>
<p>“‘Where?’</p>
<p>“‘The cellar.’</p>
<p>“‘Do you think so?’</p>
<p>“‘Yes. I think we’ve looked everywhere
else. And I think perhaps it’s very nice down there
with bits of sawdust here and there on the ground. I saw
some on the bottle to-day, and it was quite soft. Aunt
would be quite sure we should never see them there. I dare
say it’s very snug indeed all among the barrels and empty
bottles in that cellar we once peeped into.’</p>
<p>“The younger child here began to laugh in delighted
amusement, but the elder one bade her ‘hush,’ or the
nurse would hear them; and then proceeded whispering as
before</p>
<p>“‘It’s a great big place, and they could
each have a house, and visit each other, and hide, and make
fun.’</p>
<p>“‘And I dare say Softy was put there first,’
interposed the younger sister.</p>
<p>“‘Ay, and how pleased the others would be to find
him there! Only think!’</p>
<p>“And they <i>did</i> think. Poor little things,
they lay and thought of that meeting when ‘the
others’ were put in the cellar where ‘Softy’
already was, ready to welcome them to his new home; and they
talked of all that might have happened on such an occasion, and
told each other that the Tods were much happier altogether there,
than if the others had remained in the nursery separated from
dear little Softy. In short, they talked till the door
opened, and the nurse, unsuspicious of the state of her young
charges, went to bed herself, and sleep fell on the whole
party.</p>
<p>“But a new world had now opened before them out of the
very midst of their sorrow itself. The fancy home of the
Tods was almost a more available source of amusement, than even
playing with the real things had been; and sometimes in the early
morning, sometimes for the precious half-hour at night, before
sleep overtook them, the little wits went to work with fresh
details and suppositions, and they related to each other, in
turns, the imaginary events of the day in the cellar among the
barrels. Each morning, when they went down-stairs, Carlo
was put in the Tod corner of the nursery and instructed to slip
away, as soon as he could manage it, to the Tods in the cellar,
and hear all that they had been about.</p>
<p>“And marvellous tales Mr. Carlo used to bring back, if
the children’s accounts to each other were to be
trusted. Such running about, to be sure, took place among
those barrels and empty bottles. Such playing at
bo-peep. Such visits of ‘Furry’ and his family
to ‘Buffy’ and <i>his</i> family, when the little
‘Furrys’ and ‘Buffys’ could not be kept
in order, but would go peeping into bungholes, and tumbling
nearly through, and having to be picked out by Carlo, drabbled
and chilled, but ready for a fresh frolic five minutes after!</p>
<p>“Such comical disputes, too, they had, as to how far the
grounds round each Tod’s house extended; such funny
adventures of getting into their neighbour’s corner instead
of their own, in the dim light that prevailed, and being mistaken
for a thief; when Carlo had to come and act as judge among them,
and make them kiss and be friends all round!</p>
<p>“Such dinners, too, Carlo brought them, as he passed
through the kitchen on his road to the cellar, and watched his
opportunity to carry off a few un-missed little bits for his
friends below. Dear me! his contrivances on that score were
endless, and the odd things he got hold of sometimes by mistake,
in his hurry, were enough to kill the Tods with laughing—to
say nothing of the children who were inventing the history!</p>
<p>“Then the care they took to save the little drops at the
bottom of the bottles, for Carlo, in return for all the trouble
he had, was most praiseworthy; and sometimes, when there was a
rather larger quantity than usual, they would have <i>such</i> a
feast!—and drink the healths of their dear little
mistresses in the nursery up-stairs.</p>
<p>“In short, it was as perfect a fancy as their love for
the Tods, and their ideas of enjoyment could make it.
Nothing uncomfortable, nothing sad, was ever heard of in that
cellar-home of their lost pets. No quarrelling, no crying,
no naughtiness, no unkindness, were supposed to trouble it.
Nothing was known of, there, but comfort and fun, and innocent
blunders and jokes, which ended in fun and comfort again.
One thing, therefore, you see, was established as certain
throughout the whole of the childish dream:—the departed
favourites were all perfectly happy, as happy as it was possible
to be; and they sent loving messages by Carlo to their old
friends to say so, and to beg them not to be sorry for
<i>them</i>, for, excepting that they would like some day to see
those old friends again, they had nothing left to wish for in
their new home:—</p>
<p>“And here the Tod story ends!” remarked Aunt Judy,
in conclusion, “and I beg you to observe, No. 6, that, like
all my stories, it ends happily. The children had now got
hold of an amusement which was safe from interference, and which
lasted—I am really afraid to say how long; for even after
the fervour of their Tod love had abated, they found an endless
source of invention and enjoyment in the cellar-home romance, and
told each other anecdotes about it, from time to time, for more,
I believe, than a year.”</p>
<p>When Aunt Judy paused here, as if expecting some remark, all
that No. 6 could say, was:—</p>
<p>“Poor little things!”</p>
<p>“Ay, they were still that,” exclaimed Aunt Judy,
“even in the midst of their new-found comfort. Oh,
No. 6, when one thinks of the strange way in which they first of
all created a sorrow for themselves, and then devised for
themselves its consolation, what a pity it seems that no good was
got out of it!”</p>
<p>It was not likely that No. 6 should guess what the good was
which Aunt Judy thought might have been got out of it; and so she
said; whereupon Aunt Judy explained:—</p>
<p>“Did it not offer a quite natural opportunity,—if
any kind friend had but known of it,—of speaking to those
children of some of the sacred hopes of our Christian
faith?—of leading them, through kind talk about their own
pretty fancies, to the subject of <i>what really becomes</i> of
the dear friends who are taken away from us by death?</p>
<p>“Had I been <i>their</i> Aunt Judy,” she
continued, “I should have thought it no cruelty, but
kindness then, to have spoken to them about their lost mother,
and told them that she was living now in a place where she was
much, much happier, than she had ever been before, and where one
of the very few things she had left to wish for, was, that one
day she might see them again: not in this world, where people are
so often uncomfortable and sad, but in that happy one where there
is no more sorrow, or crying, for God Himself wipes away the
tears from all eyes.</p>
<p>“I should have told them besides,” pursued Aunt
Judy, “that it would not please their dear mother at all
for them to fret for her, and <i>fancy they couldn’t do
without her</i>, and be discontented because God had taken her
away, and think it would have been much better for them if He had
not done so—(as if He did not know a thousand times better
than they could do:)—but that it would please her very much
for them to pray to God to make them good, so that they might all
meet together at last in that very happy place.</p>
<p>“In short, No. 6, I would have led them, if possible, to
make a comforting reality to themselves of the next world, as
they had already got a comforting fancy out of the cellar-dream
of the Tods. And that is the good, dear child, which I
meant might have been got out of the Tod adventure.”</p>
<p>Aunt Judy ceased, but there was no chance of seeing the effect
of what she had said on No. 6’s face, for it was laid on
her sister’s lap; probably to hide the tears which would
come into her eyes at Aunt Judy’s allusion to what she had
said about <i>her</i>.</p>
<p>At last a rather husky voice spoke:—</p>
<p>“You can’t expect people to like what is so very
sad, even if it is—what you call—right—and all
that.”</p>
<p>“No! neither does God expect it!” was Aunt
Judy’s earnest reply. “We are allowed to be
sorry when trials come, for we feel the suffering, and cannot at
present understand the blessing or necessity of it. But we
are not allowed to ‘sorrow without hope;’ and we are
not allowed, even when we are most sorry, to be rebellious, and
fancy we could choose better for ourselves than God chooses for
us.”</p>
<p>Aunt Judy’s lesson, as well as story, was ended now, and
she began talking over the entertaining part of the Tod history,
and then went on to other things, till No. 6 was quite herself
again, and wanted to know how much was true about the motherless
little girls; and when she found from Aunt Judy’s answer
that the account was by no means altogether an invention, she
went into a fever-fidget to know who the children were, and what
had become of them; and finally settled that the one thing in the
world she most wished for, was to see them.</p>
<p>Nor would she be persuaded that this was a foolish idea, until
Aunt Judy asked her how she would like to be introduced to a
couple of <i>very</i> old women, with huge hooked noses, and
beardy, nut-cracker chins, and be told that <i>those</i> were the
motherless little girls who had broken their hearts over
rabbits’ tails!—an inquiry which tickled No.
6’s fancy immensely, so that she began to laugh, and
suggest a few additions of her own to the comical picture, in the
course of doing which, she fortunately quite lost sight of the
“one thing” which a few minutes before she had
“most wished for in the world!”</p>
<h2><SPAN name="page104"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>“OUT OF THE WAY”</h2>
<blockquote><p>“Oh wonderful Son that can so astonish a
Mother!”</p>
<p style="text-align: right"><span class="smcap">Hamlet</span>.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>“<span class="smcap">What</span> a horrid nuisance you
are, No. 8, brushing everything down as you go by! Why
can’t you keep out of the way?”</p>
<p>“Oh, you mustn’t come here, No. 8. Aunt
Judy, look! he’s sitting on my doll’s best
cloak. Do tell him to go away.”</p>
<p>“I can’t have you bothering me, No. 8; don’t
you see how busy I am, packing? Get away somewhere
else.”</p>
<p>“You should squeeze yourself into less than nothing, and
be nowhere, No. 8.”</p>
<p>The suggestion, (uttered with a jocose grin,) came from a
small boy who had ensconced himself in the corner of a window,
where he was sitting on his heels, painting the Union Jack of a
ship in the <i>Illustrated London News</i>. He had
certainly acted on the advice he gave, as nearly as was
possible. Surely no little boy of his age ever got into so
small a compass before, or in a position more effectually out of
everybody’s possible way. The window corner led
nowhere, and there was nothing in it for anybody to want.</p>
<p>“No. 8, I never saw anything so tiresome as you
are. Why will you poke your nose in where you’re not
wanted? You’re always in the way.”</p>
<blockquote><p>“‘He poked his flat nose into every
place;’”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>sung, <i>sotto voce</i>, by the small boy in the window
corner.</p>
<p>No. 8 did not stop to dispute about it, though, in point of
fact, his nose was not flat, so at least in that respect he did
not resemble the duck in the song.</p>
<p>He had not, however, been successful in gaining the attention
of his friends down-stairs, so he dawdled off to make an
experiment in another quarter.</p>
<p>“Why, you’re not coming into the nursery now,
Master No. 8, surely! I can’t do with you fidgetting
about among all the clothes and packing. There isn’t
a minute to spare. You might keep out of the way till
I’ve finished.”</p>
<p>“Now, Master No. 8, you must be off. There’s
no time or room for you in the kitchen this morning.
There’s ever so many things to get ready yet. Run
away as fast as you can.”</p>
<p>“What <i>are</i> you doing in the passages, No. 8?
Don’t you see that you are in everybody’s way?
You had really better go to bed again.”</p>
<p>But the speaker hurried forward, and No. 8 betook himself to
the staircase, and sat down exactly in the middle of the middle
flight. And there be amused himself by peeping through the
banisters into the hall, where people were passing backwards and
forwards in a great fuss; or listening to the talking and noise
that were going on in the rooms above.</p>
<p>But be was not “out of the way” there, as he soon
learnt. Heavy steps were presently heard along the landing,
and heavy steps began to descend the stairs. Two men were
carrying down a heavy trunk.</p>
<p>“You’ll have to move, young gentleman, if you
please,” observed one; “you’re right in the way
just there!”</p>
<p>No. 8 descended with all possible speed, and arrived on the
mat at the bottom.</p>
<p>“There now, I told you, you were always in the
way,” was the greeting he received. “How stupid
it is! Try under the table, for pity’s
sake.”</p>
<p>Under the table! it was not a bad idea; moreover, it was a new
one—quite a fresh plan. No. 8 grinned and
obeyed. The hall table was no bad asylum, after all, for a
little boy who was always in the way everywhere else; besides, he
could see everything that was going on. No. 8 crept under,
and squatted himself on the cocoa-nut matting. He looked
up, and looked round, and felt rather as if he was in a tent,
only with a very substantial covering over his head.</p>
<p>Presently the dog passed by, and was soon coaxed to lie down
in the table retreat by the little boy’s side, and the two
amused themselves very nicely together. The fact was, the
family were going from home, and the least the little ones could
do during the troublesome preparation, was not to be troublesome
themselves; but this is sometimes rather a difficult thing for
little ones to accomplish. Nevertheless, No. 8 had
accomplished it at last.</p>
<p>“Capital, No. 8! you and the dog are quite a
picture. If I had time, I would make a sketch of
you.”</p>
<p>That was the remark of the first person who went by
afterwards, and No. 8 grinned as he heard it.</p>
<p>“Well done, No. 8! that’s the best contrivance I
ever saw!”</p>
<p>Remark the second, followed by a second grin.</p>
<p>“Why, you don’t mean to say that you’re
under the table, Master No. 8? Well you <i>are</i> a good
boy! I’m sure I’ll tell your mamma.”</p>
<p>Another grin.</p>
<p>“You dear old fellow, to put yourself so nicely out of
the way! You’re worth I don’t know
what.”</p>
<p>Grin again.</p>
<p>“Master No. 8 under the table, to be sure! Well,
and a very nice place it is, and quite suitable. Ever so
much better than the hot kitchen, when there’s baking and
all sorts of things going on. Here, lovey! here’s a
little cake that was spared, that I was taking to the parlour;
but, as you’re there, you shall have it.”</p>
<p>No. 8 grinned with all his heart this time.</p>
<p>“I wish I’d thought of that! Why, I could
have painted my ship there without being squeezed!”</p>
<p>It needs scarcely to be told that this was the observation of
the small boy who had watched an opportunity for emerging from
the window corner without fuss, and was now carrying his little
paint-box up-stairs to be packed away in the children’s
bag. As he spoke, he stooped down to look at No. 8 and the
dog, and smiled his approbation, and No. 8 smiled in return.</p>
<p>“No. 8, how snug you do look!”</p>
<p>Once more an answering grin.</p>
<p>“No. 8, you’re the best boy in the world; and if
you stay there till Nurse is ready for you, you shall have a
penny all to yourself.”</p>
<p>No. 8’s grin was accompanied by a significant nod this
time, to show that he accepted the bargain.</p>
<p>“My darling No. 8, you may come out now. There!
give me a kiss, and get dressed as fast as you can. The fly
will be here directly. You’re a very good boy
indeed.”</p>
<p>“No. 8, you’re the pattern boy of the family, and
I shall come with you in the fly, and tell you a story as we go
along for a reward.”</p>
<p>No. 8 liked both the praise, and the cake, and the penny, and
the kiss, and the promise of the rewarding story for going under
the table; but the why and wherefore of all these charming facts,
was a complete mystery to him. What did that matter,
however? He ran up-stairs, and got dressed, and was ready
before anyone else; and, by a miracle of good fortune, was on the
steps, and not in the middle of the carriage-drive, when the fly
arrived, which was to take one batch of the large family party to
the railway station.</p>
<p>No one was as fond of the fly conveyance as of the open
carriage; for, in the first place, it was usually very full and
stuffy; and, in the second, very little of the country could be
seen from the windows.</p>
<p>But, on the present occasion, Aunt Judy having offered her
services to accompany the fly detachment, there was a wonderful
alteration of sentiment, as to who should be included. Aunt
Judy, however, had her own ideas. The three little ones
belonged to the fly, as it were by ancient usage and custom, and
more than five it would not hold.</p>
<p>Five it would hold, however, and five accordingly got in, No.
4 having pleaded her own cause to be “thrown in:” and
at last, with nurses and luggage and No. 5 outside, away they
drove, leaving the open carriage and the rest to follow.</p>
<p>Nothing is perfect in this world. Those who had the airy
drive missed the story, and regretted it; but it was fair that
the pleasure should be divided.</p>
<p>And, after all, although the fly might be a little stuffy and
closely packed, and although it cost some trouble to settle down
without getting crushed, and make footstools of carpet bags, and
let down all the windows,—the commotion was soon over; and
it was a wonderful lull of peace and quietness, after the
confusion and worry of packing and running about, to sit even in
a rattling fly. And so for five minutes and more, all the
travellers felt it to be, and a soothing silence ensued; some
leaning back, others looking silently out at the retreating
landscape, or studying with earnestness the wonderful red plush
lining of the vehicle itself.</p>
<p>But presently, after the rest had lasted sufficiently long to
recruit all the spirits, No. 7 remarked, not speaking to anybody
in particular, “I thought Aunt Judy was going to tell us a
story.”</p>
<p>No. 7 was a great smiler in a quiet way, and he smiled now, as
he addressed his remark to the general contents of the fly.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy laughed, and inquired for whom the observation was
meant, adding her readiness to begin, if they would agree to sit
quiet and comfortable, without shuffling up and down, or
disputing about space and heat; and, these points being agreed
to, she began her story as follows:—</p>
<p>“There were once upon a time a man and his wife who had
an only son. They were Germans, I believe, for all the
funny things that happen, happen in Germany, as you know by
Grimm’s fairy tales.</p>
<p>“Well! this man, Franz, had been a watchmaker and mender
in an old-fashioned country town, and he had made such a
comfortable fortune by the business, that he was able to retire
before he grew very old; and so he bought a very pretty little
villa in the outskirts of the town, had a garden full of flowers
with a fountain in the middle, and enjoyed himself very much.</p>
<p>“His wife enjoyed herself too, but never so much as when
the neighbours, as they passed by, peeped over the palings, and
said, ‘What a pretty place! What lucky people the
watchmaker and his wife are! How they must enjoy
themselves!’</p>
<p>“On such occasions, Madame Franz would run to her
husband, crying out, ‘Come here, my dear, as fast as you
can! Come, and listen to the neighbours, saying, how we
must enjoy ourselves!’</p>
<p>“Franz was very apt to grunt when his wife summoned him
in this manner, and, at any rate, never would go as she
requested; but little Franz, the son, who was very like his
mother, and had got exactly her turn-up nose and sharp eyes,
would scamper forward in a moment to hear what the neighbours had
to say, and at the end would exclaim:—</p>
<p>“‘Isn’t it grand, mother, that everybody
should think that?’</p>
<p>“To which his mother would reply:—</p>
<p>“‘It is, Franz, dear! I’m so glad you
feel for your mother!’ and then the two would embrace each
other very affectionately several times, and Madame Franz would
go to her household business, rejoicing to think that, if her
husband did not quite sympathize with her, her son did.</p>
<p>“Young Franz had been somewhat spoilt in his childhood,
as only children generally are. As to his mother, from
there being no brothers and sisters to compare him with, she
thought such a boy had never been seen before; and she told old
Franz so, so often, that at last he began to believe it
too. And then they got all sorts of masters for him, to
teach him everything they could think of, and qualify him, as his
mother said, for some rich young lady to fall in love with.
That was her idea of the way in which he was one day to make his
fortune.</p>
<p>“At last, a time came when his mother thought the young
gentleman quite finished and complete; fit for anything and
anybody, and likely to create a sensation in the world. So
she begged old Franz to dismiss all his masters, and give him a
handsome allowance, that he might go off on his travels and make
his fortune, in the manner before mentioned.</p>
<p>“Old Mr. Franz shook his head at first, and called it
all a parcel of nonsense. Moreover, he declared that Master
Franz was a mere child yet, and would get into a hundred foolish
scrapes in less than a week; but mamma expressed her opinion so
positively, and repeated it so often, that at last papa began to
entertain it too, and gave his consent to the plan.</p>
<p>“The fact was, though I am sorry to say it, Mr. Franz
was henpecked. That is, his wife was always trying to make
him obey her, instead of obeying him, as she ought to have done;
and she had managed him so long, that she knew she could persuade
him, or talk him (which is much the same thing) into anything,
provided she went on long enough.</p>
<p>“So she went on about Franz going off on his travels
with a handsome allowance, till Papa Franz consented, and settled
an income upon him, which, if they had been selfish parents, they
would have said they could not afford; but, as it was, they
talked the matter over together, and told each other that it was
very little two old souls like themselves would want when their
gay son was away; and so they would draw in, and live quite
quietly, as they used to do in their early days before they grew
rich, and would let the lad have the money to spend upon his
amusements.</p>
<p>“Young Franz either didn’t know, or didn’t
choose to think about this. Clever as he was about many
things, he was not clever enough to take in the full value of the
sacrifices his parents were making for him; so he thanked them
lightly for the promised allowance, rattled the first payment
cheerfully into his purse, and smiled on papa and mamma with
almost condescending complacency. When he was equipped in
his best suit, and just ready for starting, his mother took him
aside.</p>
<p>“‘Franz, my dear,’ she said, ‘you know
how much money and pains have been spent on your education.
You can play, and dance, and sing, and talk, and make yourself
heard wherever you go. Now mind you do make yourself heard,
or who is to find out your merits? Don’t be shy and
downcast when you come among strangers. All you have to
think about, with your advantages, is to make yourself
agreeable. That’s the rule for you! Make
yourself agreeable wherever you go, and the wife and the fortune
will soon be at your feet. And, Franz,’ continued
she, laying hold of the button of his coat, ‘there is
something else. You know, I have often said that the one
only thing I could wish different about you is, that your nose
should not turn up quite so much. But you see, my darling
boy, we can’t alter our noses. Nevertheless, look
here! you can incline your head in such a manner as almost to
hide the little defect. See—this
way—there—let me put it as I mean—a little down
and on one side. It was the way I used to carry my head
before I married, or I doubt very much whether your father would
have looked my way. Think of this when you’re in
company. It’s a graceful attitude too, and you will
find it much admired.’</p>
<p>“Franz embraced his mother, and promised obedience to
all her commands; but he was glad when her lecture ended, for he
was not very fond of her remarks upon his nose. Just then
the door of his father’s room opened, and he called
out:—</p>
<p>“‘Franz, my dear, I want to speak to
you.’</p>
<p>“Franz entered the room, and ‘Now, my dear
boy,’ said papa, ‘before you go, let me give you one
word of parting advice; but stop, we will shut the door first, if
you please. That’s right. Well, now, look
here. I know that no pains or expense have been spared over
your education. You can play, and dance, and sing, and
talk, and make yourself heard wherever you go.’</p>
<p>“‘My dear sir,’ interrupted Franz, ‘I
don’t think you need trouble yourself to go on. My
mother has just been giving me the advice beforehand.’</p>
<p>“‘No, has she though?’ cried old Franz,
looking up in his son’s face; but then he shook his head,
and said:—</p>
<p>“‘No, she hasn’t, Franz; no, she
hasn’t; so listen to me. We’ve all made a fuss
about you, and praised whatever you’ve done, and
you’ve been a sort of idol and wonder among us. But,
now you’re going among strangers, you will find yourself
Mr. Nobody, and the great thing is, you must be contented to be
Mr. Nobody at first. Keep yourself in the background, till
people have found out your merits for themselves; and never get
into anybody’s way. Keep <i>out</i> of the way, in
fact, that’s the safest rule. It’s the secret
of life for a young man—How impatient you look! but mark my
words:—all you have to attend to, with your advantages, is,
to keep out of the way.’</p>
<p>“After this bit of advice, the father bestowed his
blessing on his dear Franz, and unlocked the door, close to which
they found Mrs. Franz, waiting rather impatiently till the
conference was over.</p>
<p>“‘What a time you have been, Franz!’ she
began; but there was no time to talk about it, for they all knew
that the coach, or post-wagon, as they call it in Germany, was
waiting.</p>
<p>“Mrs. Franz wrung her son’s hand.</p>
<p>“‘Remember what I’ve said, my dearest
Franz!’ she cried.</p>
<p>“‘Trust me!’ was Mr. Franz’s
significant reply.</p>
<p>“‘You’ll not forget my rule?’
whispered papa.</p>
<p style="text-align: center">
<SPAN href="images/p104b.jpg">
<ANTIMG alt="Mr. Franz leaves home" title= "Mr. Franz leaves home" src="images/p104s.jpg" /></SPAN></p>
<p>“‘Forget, sir? no, that’s not
possible,’ answered Mr. Franz in a great hurry, as he ran
off to catch the post-wagon; for they could see it in the
distance beginning to move, though part of the young
gentleman’s luggage was on board.</p>
<p>“Well! he was just in time; but what do you think was
the next thing he did, after keeping the people waiting? A
sudden thought struck him, that it would be as well for the
driver and passengers to know how well educated he had been, so
he began to give the driver a few words of geographical
information about the roads they were going.</p>
<p>“‘Jump in directly, sir, if you please,’ was
the driver’s gruff reply.</p>
<p>“‘Certainly not, till I’ve made you
understand what I mean,’ says Master Franz, quite
facetiously. But, then, smack went the whip, and the horses
gave a jolt forwards, and over the tip of the learned young
gentleman’s foot went the front wheel.</p>
<p>“It was a nasty squeeze, though it might have been
worse, but Franz called out very angrily, something or other
about ‘disgraceful carelessness,’ on which the driver
smacked his whip again, and shouted:—</p>
<p>“‘Gentlemen that won’t keep out of the way,
must expect to have their toes trodden on.’ Everybody
laughed at this, but Franz was obliged to spring inside, without
taking any notice of the joke, as the coach was now really going
on; and if he had began to talk, he would have been left
behind.</p>
<p>“And now,” continued Aunt Judy, stopping herself,
“while Franz is jolting along to the capital town of the
country, you shall tell me whose advice you think he followed
when he got to the end of the journey, and began life for
himself—his father’s or his
mother’s?”</p>
<p>There was a universal cry, mixed with laughter, of “His
mother’s!”</p>
<p>“Quite right,” responded Aunt Judy.
“His mother’s, of course. It was far the most
agreeable, no doubt. Keeping out of the way is a rather
difficult thing for young folks to manage.”</p>
<p>A glance at No. 8 caused that young gentleman’s face to
grin all over, and Aunt Judy proceeded:—</p>
<p>“After his arrival at the great hotel of the town, he
found there was to be a public dinner there that evening, which
anybody might go to, who chose to pay for it; and this he thought
would be a capital opportunity for him to begin life: so,
accordingly, he went up-stairs to dress himself out in his very
best clothes for the occasion.</p>
<p>“And then it was that, as he sat in front of the glass,
looking at his own face, while he was brushing his hair and
whiskers, and brightening them up with bear’s-grease, he
began to think of his father and mother, and what they had said,
and what he had best do.</p>
<p>“‘An excellent, well-meaning couple, of course,
but as old-fashioned as the clocks they used to mend,’ was
his first thought. ‘As to papa, indeed, the poor old
gentleman thinks the world has stood still since he was a young
man, thirty years ago. His stiff notions were all very well
then, perhaps, but in these advanced times they are perfectly
quizzical. Keep out of the way, indeed! Why, any
ignoramus can do that, I should think! Well, well, he means
well, all the same, so one must not be severe. As to mamma
now—poor thing—though she <i>is</i> behindhand
herself in many ways, yet she <i>does</i> know a good thing when
she sees it, and that’s a great point. She can
appreciate the probable results of my very superior education and
appearance. To be sure, she’s a little silly over
that nose affair;—but women will always be silly about
something.’</p>
<p>“Nevertheless, at this point in his meditations, Master
Franz might have been seen inclining his head down on one side,
just as his mother had recommended, and then giving a look at the
mirror, to see whether the vile turn-up did really disappear in
that attitude. I suspect, however, that he did not feel
quite satisfied about it, for he got rather cross, and finished
his dressing in a great hurry, but not before he had settled that
there could be only one opinion as to whose advice he should be
guided by—dear mamma’s.</p>
<p>“‘Should it fail,’ concluded he to himself,
as he gave the last smile at the looking-glass, ‘there will
be poor papa’s old-world notion to fall back upon, after
all.’</p>
<p>“Now, you must know that Master Franz had never been at
one of these public dinners before, so there is no denying that
when he entered the large dining-hall, where there was a long
table, set out with plates, and which was filling fast with
people, not one of whom he knew, he felt a little confused.
But he repeated his mother’s words softly to himself, and
took courage: ‘<i>Don’t be shy and downcast when you
come among strangers</i>. <i>All you have to think
about</i>, <i>with your advantages</i>, <i>is to make yourself
agreeable</i>;’ and, on the strength of this, he passed by
the lower end of the table, where there were several unoccupied
places, and walked boldly forward to the upper end, where groups
of people were already seated, and were talking and laughing
together.</p>
<p>“In the midst of one of these groups, there was one
unoccupied seat, and in the one next to it sat a beautiful,
well-dressed young lady. ‘Why, this is the very
thing,’ thought Mr. Franz to himself. ‘Who
knows but what this is the young lady who is to make my
fortune?’</p>
<p>“There was a card, it is true, in the plate in front of
the vacant seat, but ‘as to that,’ thought Franz,
‘first come, first served, I suppose; I shall sit
down!’</p>
<p>“And sit down the young gentleman accordingly did in the
chair by the beautiful young lady, and even bowed and smiled to
her as he did so.</p>
<p>“But the next instant he was tapped on the shoulder by a
waiter.</p>
<p>“‘The place is engaged, sir!’ and the man
pointed to the card in the plate.</p>
<p>“‘Oh, if that’s all,’ was Mr.
Franz’s witty rejoinder, ‘here’s another to
match!’ and thereupon he drew one of his own cards from his
pocket, threw it into the plate, and handed the first one to the
astonished waiter, with the remark:—</p>
<p>“‘The place is engaged, my good friend, you
see!’</p>
<p>“The young goose actually thought this impudence clever,
and glanced across the table for applause as he spoke. But
although Mamma Watchmaker, if she had heard it, might have
thought it a piece of astonishing wit, the strangers at the
public table were quite of a different opinion, and there was a
general cry of ‘Turn him out!’</p>
<p>“‘Turn me out!’ shouted Mr. Franz, jumping
up from his chair, as if he intended to fight them all round; and
there is no knowing what more nonsense he might not have talked,
but that a very sonorous voice behind him called out,—a
hand laying hold of him by the shoulders at the same
time—</p>
<p>“‘Young man, I’ll trouble you to get out of
my chair, and’ (a little louder) ‘out of my way,
and’ (a little louder still) ‘to <i>keep</i> out of
my way!’</p>
<p>“Franz felt himself like a child in the grasp of the man
who spoke; and one glimpse he caught of a pair of coal-black
eyes, two frowning eye-brows, and a moustachioed mouth, nearly
frightened him out of his wits, and he was half way down the room
before he knew what was happening; for, after the baron let him
go, the waiter seized him and hustled him along, till he came to
the bottom of the table; where, however, there was now no room
for him, as all the vacant places had been filled up; so he was
pushed finally to a side-table in a corner, at which sat two men
in foreign dresses, not one word of whose language he could
understand.</p>
<p>“These two fellows talked incessantly together too,
which was all the more mortifying, because they gesticulated and
laughed as if at some capital joke. Franz was very quiet at
first, for the other adventure had sobered him, but presently,
with his mother’s advice running in his head, he resolved
to make himself agreeable, if possible.</p>
<p>“So, at the next burst of merriment, he affected to have
entered into the joke, threw himself back in his chair and
laughed as loudly as they did. The men stared for a second,
then frowned, and then one of them shouted something to him very
loudly, which he did not understand; so he placed his hand on his
heart, put on an expressive smile, and offered to shake
hands. Thought he, that will be irresistible! But he
was mistaken. The other man now called loudly to the
waiter, and a moment after, Franz found himself being conveyed by
the said waiter through the doorway into the hall, with the
remark resounding in his ears:—</p>
<p>“‘What a foolish young gentleman you must
be! Why can’t you keep out of people’s
way?’</p>
<p>“‘My good friend,’ cried Mr. Franz,
‘that’s not my plan at present. I’m
trying to make myself agreeable.’</p>
<p>“‘Oh—pooh!—bother agreeable,’
cried the waiter. ‘What’s the use of making
yourself agreeable, if you’re always in the way?
Here!—step back, sir! don’t you see the tray
coming?’</p>
<p>“Franz had not noticed it, and would probably have got a
thump on the head from it, if his friend the waiter had not
pulled him back. The man was a real good-natured, smiling
German, and said:—</p>
<p>“‘Come, young gentleman, here’s a
candle;—you’ve a bed-room here, of course. Now,
you take my advice, and go to bed. You <i>will</i> be out
of the way there, and perhaps you’ll get up wiser
to-morrow.’</p>
<p>“Franz took the candlestick mechanically, but, said
he:—</p>
<p>“‘I understood there was to be dancing here
tonight, and I can dance, and—’</p>
<p>“‘Oh, pooh! bother dancing,’ interrupted the
waiter. ‘What’s the use of dancing, if
you’re to be in everybody’s way, and I know you will;
you can’t help it. Here, be advised for once, and go
to bed. I’ll bring you up some coffee before
long. Go quietly up now—mind. Good
night.’</p>
<p>“Two minutes afterwards, Mr. Franz found himself walking
up-stairs, as the waiter had ordered him to do, though he
muttered something about ‘officious fellow’ as he
went along.</p>
<p>“And positively he went to bed, as the officious fellow
recommended; and while he lay there waiting for the coffee, he
began wondering what <i>could</i> be the cause of the failure of
his attempts to make himself agreeable. Surely his mother
was right—surely there could be no doubt that, with his
advantages—but he did not go on with the sentence.</p>
<p>“Well, after puzzling for some time, a bright thought
struck him. It was entirely owing to that stupid nose
affair, which his mother was so silly about. Of course that
was it! He had done everything else she recommended, but he
could not keep his head down at the same time, so people saw the
snub! Well, he would practise the attitude now, at any
rate, till the coffee came!</p>
<p>“No sooner said than done. Out of bed jumped Mr.
Franz, and went groping about for the table to find matches to
light the candle. But, unluckily, he had forgotten how the
furniture stood, so he got to the door by a mistake, and went
stumbling up against it, just as the waiter with the coffee
opened it on the other side.</p>
<p>“There was a plunge, a shout, a shuffling of feet, and
then both were on the floor, as was also the hot coffee, which
scalded Franz’s bare legs terribly.</p>
<p>“The waiter got up first, and luckily it was the
‘officious fellow’ with the smiling face. And
said he:—</p>
<p>“‘What a miserable young man you must be, to be
sure! Why, you’re <i>never</i> out of the way, not
even when you’re gone to bed!’”</p>
<p>This last anecdote caused an uproar of delight in the fly, and
so much noise, that Aunt Judy had to call the party to order, and
talk about the horses being frightened, after which she
proceeded:—</p>
<p>“I am sorry to say Mr. Franz did not get up next morning
as much wiser as the waiter had expected, for he laid all the
blame of his misfortunes on his nose instead of his impertinence,
and never thought of correcting himself, and being less
intrusive.</p>
<p>“On the contrary, after practising holding his head down
for ten minutes before the glass, he went out to the day’s
amusements, as saucy and confident as ever.</p>
<p>“Now there is no time,” continued Aunt Judy,
“for my telling you all Mr. Franz’s funny scrapes and
adventures. When we get to the end of the journey, you must
invent some for yourselves, and sit together, and tell them in
turns, while we are busy unpacking. I will only just say,
that wherever he went, the same sort of things happened to him,
because he was always thrusting himself forward, and always
getting pushed back in consequence.</p>
<p>“Out of the public gardens he got fairly turned at last,
because he would talk politics to some strange gentlemen on a
bench. They got up and walked away, but, five minutes
afterwards, a very odd-looking man looked over Franz’s
shoulder, and said significantly, ‘I recommend you to leave
these gardens, sir, and walk elsewhere.’ And poor
Franz, who had heard of such things as prisons and dungeons for
political offenders, felt a cold shudder run through him, and
took himself off with all possible speed, not daring to look
behind him, for fear he should see that dreadful man at his
heels. Indeed, he never felt safe till he was in his
bed-room again, and had got the waiter to come and talk to
him.</p>
<p>“‘Dear me,’ said the waiter, ‘what a
very silly young gentleman you must be, to go talking away
without being asked!’</p>
<p>“‘But,’ said Franz, ‘you don’t
consider what a superior education I have had. I can talk
and make myself heard—’</p>
<p>“‘Oh, pooh! bother talking,’ interrupted the
waiter; ‘what’s the use of talking when nobody wants
to listen? Much better go to bed.’</p>
<p>“Franz would not give in yet, but was comforted to find
the waiter did not think he would be thrown into prisons and
dungeons; so he dined, and dressed, and went to the theatre to
console himself, where however he <i>made himself heard</i> so
effectually—first applauding, then hissing, and even
speaking his opinions to the people round him—that a set of
young college students combined together to get rid of him, and,
I am sorry to add, they made use of a little kicking as the
surest plan; and so, before half the play was over, Mr. Franz
found himself in the street!</p>
<p>“Now, then, I have told you enough of Mr. Franz’s
follies, except the one last adventure, which made him alter his
whole plan of proceeding.</p>
<p>“He had had two letters of introduction to take with
him: one to an old partner of his father’s, who had settled
in the capital some years before; another to some people of more
consequence, very distant family connections. And, of
course, Mr. Franz went there first, as there seemed a nice chance
of making his fortune among such great folks.</p>
<p>“And really the great folks would have been civil
enough, but that he soon spoilt everything by what <i>he</i>
called ‘making himself agreeable.’ He was too
polite, too affectionate, too talkative, too instructive, by
half! He assured the young ladies that he approved very
highly of their singing; trilled out a little song of his own,
unasked, at his first visit; fondled the pet lap-dog on his knee;
congratulated papa on looking wonderfully well for his age; asked
mamma if she had tried the last new spectacles; and, in short,
gave his opinions, and advice, and information, so freely, that
as soon as he was gone the whole party exclaimed:—</p>
<p>“‘What an impertinent jackanapes!’ a
jackanapes being nothing more nor less than a human monkey.</p>
<p>“This went on for some time, for he called very often,
being too stupid, in spite of his supposed cleverness, to take
the hints that were thrown out, that such repeated visits were
not wanted.</p>
<p>“At last, however, the family got desperate and one
morning when he arrived, (having teazed them the day before for a
couple of hours,) he saw nobody in the drawing-room when he was
ushered in.</p>
<p>“Never mind, thought he, they’ll be here directly
when they know <i>I’m</i> come! And having brought a
new song in his pocket, which he had been practising to sing to
them, he sat down to the piano, and began performing alone,
thinking how charmed they would be to hear such beautiful sounds
in the distance!</p>
<p>“But, in the middle of his song, he heard a discordant
shout, and jumping up, discovered the youngest little Missy hid
behind the curtain, and crying tremendously.</p>
<p>“Mr. Franz became quite theatrical. ‘Lovely
little pet, where are your sisters? Have they left my
darling to weep alone?’</p>
<p>“‘They shut the door before I could get
through,’ sobbed the lovely little pet; ‘and I
won’t be your darling a bit!’</p>
<p>“Mr. Franz laughed heartily, and said how clever she
was, took her on his knee, told her her sisters would be back
again directly, and finished his remark by a kiss.</p>
<p>“Unfortunate Mr. Franz! The young lady immediately
gave him an unmistakable box on the ear with her small fist, and
vociferated</p>
<p>“No, they won’t, they won’t, they
won’t! They’ll never come back till
you’re gone! They’ve gone away to get out of
<i>your</i> way, because you won’t keep out of
<i>theirs</i>. And you’re a forward puppy, papa says,
and can’t take a hint; and you’re always in
everybody’s way, and <i>I’ll</i> get out of your way,
too!’</p>
<p>“Here the little girl began to kick violently; but there
was no occasion. Mr. Franz set her down, and while she ran
off to her sisters, he rushed back to the hotel, and
double-locked himself into his room.</p>
<p>“After a time, however, he sent for his friend the
waiter, for he felt that a talk would do him good.</p>
<p>“But the ‘officious fellow’ shook his head
terribly.</p>
<p>“‘How many more times am I to tell you what a
foolish young gentleman you are?’ cried he.
‘Will you never get up wiser any morning of the
year?’</p>
<p>“‘I thought,’ murmured Franz, in broken,
almost sobbing accents—‘I thought—the young
ladies—would have been delighted—with—my
song;—you see—I’ve been—so well
taught—and I can sing—’</p>
<p>“‘Oh! pooh, pooh, pooh!’ interrupted the
waiter once more. ‘Bother singing and everything
else, if you’ve not been asked! Much better go to
bed!’</p>
<p>“Poor Franz! It was hard work to give in, and he
made a last effort.</p>
<p>“‘Don’t you think—after all—that
the prejudice—is owing to—what I told you
about:—people do so dislike a snub-nose?’</p>
<p>“‘Oh, pooh! bother a snub-nose,’ exclaimed
the waiter; ‘what will your nose signify, if you
don’t poke it in everybody’s way?’</p>
<p>“And with this conclusion Mr. Franz was obliged to be
content; and he ordered his dinner up-stairs, and prepared
himself for an evening of tears and repentance.</p>
<p>“But, before the waiter had been gone five minutes, he
returned with a letter in his hand.</p>
<p>“‘Now, here’s somebody asking something at
last,’ said he, for a servant had brought it.</p>
<p>“Franz trembled as he took it. It was sure to be
either a scolding or a summons to prison, he thought. But
no such thing: it was an invitation to dinner. Franz threw
it on the floor, and kicked it from him—he would go
nowhere—see nobody any more!</p>
<p>“The ‘officious fellow’ picked it up, and
read it. ‘Mr. Franz,’ said he, ‘you
mustn’t go to bed this time: you must go to this dinner
instead. It’s from your father’s old
partner—he wishes you had called, but as you haven’t
called, he asks you to dine. Now you’re wanted, Mr.
Franz, and must go.’</p>
<p>“‘I shall get into another mess,’ cried
Franz, despondingly.</p>
<p>“‘Oh, pooh! you’ve only to keep out of
everybody’s way, and all will be right,’ insisted the
waiter, as he left the room.</p>
<p>“‘Only to keep out of everybody’s way, and
all will be right,’ ejaculated Mr. Franz, as he looked at
his crest-fallen face in the glass. ‘It’s a
strange rule for getting on in life! However,’
continued he, cheering up, ‘one plan has failed, and
it’s only fair to give the other a chance!’</p>
<p>“And all the rest of dressing-time, and afterwards as he
walked along the streets, he kept repeating his father’s
words softly to himself, which was at first a very difficult
thing to do, because he could not help mixing them up with his
mother’s. It was the funniest thing in the world to
hear him: ‘<i>All you have to attend to</i>, <i>with your
advantages is to</i>—<i>make yourself</i>—no, no! not
to make myself agreeable—<i>is to</i>—<i>keep out of
the way</i>!—that’s it!’ (with a sigh.)</p>
<p>“When Franz arrived at the house, he rang the bell so
gently, that he had to ring twice before he was heard; and then
they concluded it was some beggar, who was afraid of giving a
good pull.</p>
<p>“So, when he was ushered into the drawing-room, the old
partner came forward to meet him, took him by both hands, and,
after one look into his downcast face, said:—</p>
<p>“‘My dear Mr. Franz, you must put on a bolder
face, and ring a louder peal, next time you come to the house of
your father’s old friend!’</p>
<p>“Mr. Franz answered this warm greeting by a sickly
smile, and while he was being introduced to the family, kept
bowing on, thinking of nothing but how he was to keep out of
everybody’s way!’</p>
<p>“He was tempted every five minutes, of course, to break
out in his usual style, and could have found it in his heart to
chuck the whole party under the chin, and take all the talk to
himself. But he could be determined enough when he chose;
and having determined to give his father’s rule a fair
chance, he restrained himself to the utmost.</p>
<p>“So, not even the hearty reception of the old partner
and his wife, nor the smiling faces of either daughters or sons,
could lure him into opening out. ‘Yes’ and
‘No;’ ‘Do you think so?’ ‘I dare
say;’ ‘Perhaps;’ ‘No doubt you’re
right;’ and other such unmeaning little phrases were all he
would utter when they talked to him.</p>
<p>“‘How shy he is, poor fellow!’ thought the
ladies, and then they talked to him all the more. One tried
to amuse him with one subject, another with another. How
did he like the public gardens? Were they not very
pretty?—He scarcely knew. No doubt they were, if
<i>they</i> thought so. What did he think of the
theatre?—It was very hot when he was there. Had he
any friends in the town?—He couldn’t say
friends—he knew one or two people a little. And the
poor youth could hardly restrain a groan, as he answered each of
the questions.</p>
<p>“Then they chatted of books, and music, and dancing, and
pressed him hard to discover what he knew, and could do, and
liked best; and when it oozed out even from his short answers,
that he had read certain books in more than one language, and
could sing—just a little; and dance—just a little;
and do several other things—just a little, too, all sorts
of nods and winks passed through the family, and they
said:—</p>
<p>“‘Ah, when you know us better, and are not so shy
of us as strangers, we shall find out you are as clever again as
you pretend to be, dear Mr. Franz!’</p>
<p>“‘I’ll tell you what,’ added the old
partner, coming up at this moment, ‘it’s a perfect
treat to me, Mr. Franz, to have a young man like you in my
house! You’re your father over again, and I
can’t praise you more. He was the most modest,
unobtrusive man in all our town, and yet knew more of his
business than all of us put together.’</p>
<p>“‘No, no, I can’t allow that,’ cried
the motherly wife.</p>
<p>“‘Nonsense!’ replied the old partner.
‘However, my dear boy—for I really must call you
so—it was that very thing that made your father’s
fortune; I mean that he was just as unpretending as he was
clever. Everybody trusts an unpretending man. And
<i>you’ll</i> make your fortune too in the same manner,
trust me, before long. Now, boys!’ added he, turning
to his sons, ‘you hear what I say, and mind you take the
hint! As for the young puppies of the present day, who
fancy themselves fit to sit in the chair of their elders as soon
as ever they have learnt their alphabet, and are for thrusting
themselves forward in every company—Mr. Franz, I’ll
own it to you, because you will understand me—I have no
patience with such rude, impertinent Jackanapeses, and always
long to kick them down-stairs.’</p>
<p>“The old partner stood in front of Mr. Franz as he
spoke, and clenched his fist in animation. Mr. Franz sat on
thorns. He first went hot, and then he went cold—he
felt himself kicked down-stairs as he listened—he was ready
to cry—he was ready to fight—he was ready to run
away—he was ready to drop on his knees, and confess himself
the very most impertinent of all the impertinent
Jackanapes’ race.</p>
<p>“But he gulped, and swallowed, and shut his teeth close,
and nobody found him out; only he looked very pale, which the
good mother soon noticed, and said she to her husband:—</p>
<p>“‘My dear love, don’t you see how fagged and
weary it makes Mr. Franz look, to hear you raving on about a
parcel of silly lads with whom <i>he</i> has nothing in
common? You will frighten him out of his wits.’</p>
<p>“‘Mr. Franz will forgive me, I know,’ cried
the old partner, gently. ‘Jacintha, my dear, fetch
the wine and cake!’</p>
<p>“The kind, careful souls feared he was delicate, and
insisted on his having some refreshment; and then papa ordered
the young people to give their guest some music; and Franz sat by
while the sons and daughters went through a beautiful opera
chorus, which was so really charming, that Mr. Franz did forget
himself for a minute, clapped violently, and got half-way through
the word ‘encore’ in a very loud tone. But he
checked himself instantly, coloured, apologized for his rudeness,
and retreated further back from the piano.</p>
<p>“Of course, this new symptom of modesty was met by more
kindness, and followed by a sly hint from the merry Jacintha,
that Mr. Franz’s turn for singing had come now!</p>
<p>“Poor Mr. Franz! with the recollection of the
morning’s adventure on his mind, and his father’s
rule ringing in his ears, he felt singing to be out of the
question, so he declined. On which they entreated,
insisted, and would listen to no refusal. And Jacintha went
to him, and looked at him with her sweetest smile, and said,
‘But you know, Mr. Franz, you said you could sing a little;
and if it’s ever so little, you should sing <i>when
you’re asked</i>!’ and with that Miss Jacintha
offered him her hand, and led him to the piano.</p>
<p>“Franz was annoyed, though he ought to been pleased.</p>
<p>“‘But how <i>am</i> I to keep out of
people’s way,’ thought he to himself, ‘if they
will pull me forward? It’s the oddest thing I ever
knew. I can’t do right either way.’</p>
<p>“Then a thought struck him:—</p>
<p>“‘I have no music, Miss Jacintha,’ said he,
‘and I can’t sing without music;’ and he was
going back again to his chair in the corner.</p>
<p>“‘But we have all the new music,’ was her
answer, and she opened a portfolio at once. ‘See,
here’s the last new song!’ and she held one up before
the unfortunate youth, who at the sight of it coloured all over,
even to the tips of his ears. Whereupon Miss Jacintha, who
was watching him, laughed, and said she had felt sure he knew it;
and down she sat, and began to play the accompaniment, and in two
minutes afterwards Mr. Franz found himself—in spite of
himself, as it were—exhibiting in <i>the</i> song, the
fatal song of the morning’s adventure.</p>
<p>“It was a song of tender sentiment, and the
singer’s almost tremulous voice added to the effect, and a
warm clapping of hands greeted its conclusion.</p>
<p>“But by that time Mr. Franz was so completely exhausted
with the struggles of this first effort on the new plan, that he
began to wish them good-night, saying he would not intrude upon
them any longer.</p>
<p>“They would shake hands with him, though he tried to bow
himself off without; and the old partner followed him down-stairs
into the hall.</p>
<p>“‘Mr. Franz,’ said he, ‘we have been
delighted to make your acquaintance, but this has been only a
quiet family party. Now we know your <i>sort</i>, you must
come again, and meet our friends. Wife will fix the day,
and send you word; and don’t you be afraid, young
man! Mind you come, and put your best foot forward among us
all!’</p>
<p>“Franz was almost desperate. His conscience began
to reproach him. What! was he going to accept all this
kindness, like a rogue receiving money under false
pretences? He was shocked, and began to protest:—</p>
<p>“‘I assure you, dear sir, I don’t
deserve—You are quite under a mistake—I really am
not—the fact is, you think a great deal better of me
than—”</p>
<p>“‘Nonsense!’ shouted the old partner,
clapping him vigorously on the back. ‘Why,
you’re not going to teach me at my time of life,
surely? Not going to turn as conceited as that, after all,
eh? Come, come, Mr. Franz, no nonsense! And
to-morrow,’ he added, ‘I’ll send you letters of
introduction to some of my friends, who will show you the lions,
and make much of you. You will be well received wherever
you take them, first for my sake, and afterwards for your
own. There, there! I won’t hear a word!
No thanks—I hate them! Good night.’</p>
<p>“And the old partner fairly pushed Mr. Franz through the
door.</p>
<p>“‘Oh dear, oh dear!’ was the waiter’s
exclamation when Franz reached the hotel, and the light of the
lamp shone on his white, worn-out face. ‘Oh dear, oh
dear! I fear you’ve been a silly young gentleman over
again! What <i>have</i> you been doing this
time?’</p>
<p>“‘I’ve been trying to keep out of
everybody’s way all the evening,’ growled Mr. Franz,
‘and they would pull me forward, in spite of
myself.’</p>
<p>“‘No—really though?’ cried the waiter,
as if it were scarcely possible.</p>
<p>“‘Really,’ sighed poor Mr. Franz.</p>
<p>“‘Then do me the honour, sir,’ exclaimed the
waiter, with a sudden deference of manner; and taking the tips of
Franz’s fingers in his own, he bent over them with a
salute. ‘You’re a wise young gentleman now,
sir, and your fortune’s made. I’m glad
you’ve hit it at last!</p>
<p>“And Mr. Franz had hit it at last, indeed,”
continued Aunt Judy, “as appeared more plainly still by the
letters of introduction which reached him next morning.
They were left open, and were to this effect:—</p>
<p>“‘ . . . The bearer of this is the son of an old
friend. One of the most agreeable young men I ever
saw. As modest as he is well educated, and I can’t
say more. Procure him some amusement, that a little of his
shyness may be rubbed off; and forward his fortunes, my dear
friend, as far as you can . . . ’</p>
<p>“Franz handed one of these letters to his friend the
waiter, and the ‘officious fellow’ grinned from ear
to ear.</p>
<p>“‘There is only one more thing to fear,’
observed he.</p>
<p>“‘And what?’ asked Franz.</p>
<p>“‘Why, that now you’re comfortable, my dear
young gentleman, your head should be turned, and you should begin
to make yourself agreeable again, and spoil all.’</p>
<p>“‘Oh, pooh! bother agreeable; <i>I</i> say now, as
you did,’ cried Franz, laughing. ‘No, no, my
good friend, I’m not going to make myself agreeable any
more. I know better than that at last!’</p>
<p>“‘Then your fortune’s safe as well as
made!’ was the waiter’s last remark, as he was about
to withdraw: but Franz followed him to the door.</p>
<p>“‘I found out a rather curious thing this evening,
do you know!’</p>
<p>“‘And that was?—’ inquired his humble
friend.</p>
<p>“‘Why, that I was sitting all the time in that
very attitude my mother recommended—with my head a little
down, you know—so that I really don’t think they
noticed my snub.’</p>
<p>“The waiter got as far as, ‘Oh, pooh!’ but
Franz was nervous, and interrupted him.</p>
<p>“‘Yes—yes! I don’t believe
there’s anything in it myself; but it will be a comfort to
my mother to think it was her advice that made my fortune, which
she will do when I tell her that!’</p>
<p>“‘Ah!—the ladies will be romantic now and
then!’ exclaimed the waiter, with a flourish of his hand,
‘and you must trim the comfort to a person’s
taste.’</p>
<p>“And in due time,” pursued Aunt Judy, “that
was exactly what Mr. Franz did. Strictly adhering to his
father’s rule, and encouraged by its capital success that
first night, he got so out of the habit of being pert, and
foolish, and inconsiderate, that he ended by never having any
wish to be so; so that he really became what the old partner had
imagined him to be at first. It was a great restraint for
some time, but his modest manners fitted him at last as easy as
an old shoe, and he was welcome at every house, because he was
<i>never in the way</i>, and always knew when to retire!</p>
<p>“It was a jovial day for Papa and Mamma’s
Watchmaker when, two years afterwards, Mr. Franz returned home, a
partner in the old partner’s prosperous business, and with
the smiling Jacintha for his bride.</p>
<p>“And then, in telling his mother of that first evening
of his good fortune, he did not forget to mention that he had
hung down his head all the time, as she had advised; and, just as
he expected, she jumped up in the most extravagant delight.</p>
<p>“‘I knew how it would be all along!’ cried
she; ‘I told you so! I knew if you could only hide
that terrible snub all would be well; and I’m sure our
pretty Jacintha wouldn’t have looked your way if you
hadn’t! See, now! you have to thank your mother for
it all!’</p>
<p>“Franz was quite happy himself, so he smiled, and let
his mother be happy her way too; but he opened his heart of
hearts to poor old-fashioned papa, and told him—well, in
fact, all his follies and mistakes, and their cure. And if
mamma was happy in her bit of comfort, papa was not less so in
his, for there is not a more delightful thing in the world than
for father and son to understand each other as friends; and old
Franz would sometimes walk up and down in his room, listening to
the cheerful young voices up-stairs, and say to himself, that if
Mother Franz—good soul as she was—did not always
quite enter into his feelings, it was his comfort to be blessed
with a son who did!”</p>
<p style="text-align: center">* * *</p>
<p>What a long story it had been! Aunt Judy was actually
tired out when she got to the end, and could not talk about it,
but the little ones did till they arrived at the station, and had
to get out.</p>
<p>And in the evening, when they were all sitting together before
they went to bed, there was no small discussion about the story
of Mr. Franz, and how people were to know what was really good
manners—when to come forward, and when to hold
back—and the children were a little startled at first, when
their mother told them that the best rules for good manners were
to be found in the Bible.</p>
<p>But when she reminded them of that text, “When thou art
bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room,” &c. they
saw in those words a very serious reason for not pushing forward
into the best place in company. And when they recollected
that every man was to do to others as he wished others to do to
him, it became clear to them that it was the duty of all people
to study their neighbours’ comfort and pleasure as well as
their own; and it was no hard matter to show how this rule
applied to all the little ins and outs of every-day life, whether
at home, or in society. And there were plenty of other
texts, ordering deference to elders, and the modesty which arises
out of that humility of spirit which “vaunteth not
itself,” and “is not puffed up.” There
was, moreover, the comfortable promise, that “the
meek” should “inherit the earth.”</p>
<p>Of course, it was difficult to the little ones, just at first,
to see how such very serious words could apply to anybody’s
manners, and especially to their own.</p>
<p>But it was a difficulty which mamma, with a little
explanation, got over very easily; and before the little ones
went to bed, they quite understood that in restraining themselves
from teazing and being troublesome, they were not only not being
“tiresome,” but were actually obeying several Gospel
rules.</p>
<h2><SPAN name="page141"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>“NOTHING TO DO.”</h2>
<blockquote><p>“Had I a little son, I would christen him
<span class="smcap">Nothing-to-do</span>.”</p>
<p style="text-align: right"><span class="smcap">Charles
Lamb</span>.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">There</span> is a complaint which is not
to be found in the doctor’s books, but which is,
nevertheless, such a common and troublesome one, that one
heartily wishes some physic could be discovered which would cure
it.</p>
<p>It may be called the <i>nothing-to-do</i> complaint.</p>
<p style="text-align: center">
<SPAN href="images/p141b.jpg">
<ANTIMG alt="Nothing to do" title= "Nothing to do" src="images/p141s.jpg" /></SPAN></p>
<p>Even quite little children are subject to it, but they never
have it badly. Parents and nurses have only to give them
something to do, or tell them of something to do, and the thing
is put right. A puzzle or a picture-book relieves the
attack at once.</p>
<p>But after the children have out-grown puzzles, and
picture-books, and nurses, and when even a parent’s advice
is received with a little impatience, then the
<i>nothing-to-do</i> complaint, if it seizes them at all, is a
serious disease, and often very difficult to cure; and, if not
cured, alas! then follows the melancholy spectacle of grown-up
men and women, who are a plague to their friends, and a weariness
to themselves; because, living under the notion that there is
<i>nothing</i> for them <i>to do</i>, they want everybody else to
do something to amuse them.</p>
<p>Anyone can laugh at the old story of the gentleman who got
into such a fanciful state of mind—hypochondriacal, it is
called—that he thought he was his own umbrella; and so, on
coming in from a walk, would go and lay <i>it</i> in the
easy-chair by the fire, while he himself went and leant up
against the wall in a corner of the hall.</p>
<p>But this gentleman was not a bit more fanciful and absurd than
the people, whether young or old, who look out of windows on
rainy days and groan because there is <i>nothing to do</i>; when,
in reality, there is so much for everybody to do, that most
people leave half their share undone.</p>
<p>The oddest part of the complaint is, that it generally comes
on worst in those who from being comfortably off in the world,
and from having had a great deal of education, have such a
variety of things to do, that one would fancy they could never be
at a loss for a choice.</p>
<p>But these are the very people who are most afflicted. It
is always the young people who have books, and leisure, and
music, and drawing, and gardens, and pleasure-grounds, and
villagers to be kind to, who lounge to the rain-bespattered
windows on a dull morning, and groan because there is <i>nothing
to do</i>.</p>
<p>In justice to girls in general, it should be here mentioned,
that they are on the whole less liable to the complaint than the
young lords of the creation, who are supposed to be their
superiors in sense. Philosophers may excuse this as they
please, but the fact remains, that there are few large families
in England, whose sisterhoods have not at times been teazed half
out of their wits, by the growlings of its young gentlemen,
during paroxysms of the <i>nothing-to-do</i> complaint; growling
being one of its most characteristic symptoms.</p>
<p>Perhaps among all the suffering sisterhoods it would have been
difficult to find a young lady less liable to catch such a
disorder herself, than Aunt Judy; and perhaps that was the reason
why she used to do such tremendous battle with No. 3, whenever,
after his return from school for the holidays, he happened to
have an attack.</p>
<p>“What are you groaning at through the window, No.
3?” she inquired on one such occasion; “is it
raining?”</p>
<p>A very gruff-sounding “No,” was the
answer—No. 3 not condescending to turn round as he
spoke. He proceeded, however, to state that it had rained
when he got up, and he supposed it would rain again as a
matter-of-course, (for his especial annoyance being implied,) and
he concluded:—</p>
<p>“It’s so horribly ‘slow’ here, with
nothing to do.”</p>
<p>No. 6, who was sitting opposite Aunt Judy, doing a French
exercise, here looked up at her sister, and perceiving a smile
steal over her face, took upon herself to think her
brother’s remark very ridiculous, so, said she, with a
saucy giggle:—</p>
<p>“I can find you plenty to do, No. 3, in a minute.
Come and write my French exercise for me.</p>
<p>No. 3 turned sharply round at this, with a frown on his face
which by no means added to its beauty, and called out:—</p>
<p>“Now, Miss Pert, I recommend you to hold your
tongue. I don’t want any advice from a conceited
little minx like you.”</p>
<p>Miss Pert was extinguished at once, and set to work at the
French exercise again most industriously, and a general silence
ensued.</p>
<p>But people in the nothing-to-do complaint are never quiet for
long. Teazing is quite as constant a symptom of it, as
growling, so No. 3 soon came lounging from the window to the
table, and began:—</p>
<p>“I say, Judy, I wish you would put those tiresome books,
and drawings, and rubbish away, and I think of something to
do.”</p>
<p>“But it’s the books, and the drawings, and the
rubbish that give me something to do,” cried Aunt
Judy. “You surely don’t expect me to give them
up, and go arm and arm with you round the house, bemoaning the
slowness of our fate which gives us nothing to do. Or shall
we? Come, I don’t care; I will if you like. But
which shall we complain to first, mamma, or the maids?”</p>
<p>While she was saying this, Aunt Judy shut up her drawing book,
jumped up from her chair, drew No. 3’s arm under her own,
and repeated:—</p>
<p>“Come! which? mamma, or the maids?” while Miss
Pert opposite was labouring with all her might to smother the
laugh she dared not indulge in.</p>
<p>But No. 3 pushed Aunt Judy testily away.</p>
<p>“‘Nonsense, Judy! what has that to do with
it? It’s all very well for you girls—now, Miss
Pert, mind your own affairs, and don’t stare at
me!—to amuse yourself with all manner of—”</p>
<p>“Follies, of course,” cried Aunt Judy, laughing,
“don’t be afraid of speaking out, No. 3.
It’s all very well for us girls to amuse ourselves with all
manner of follies, and nonsense, and rubbish;” here Aunt
Judy chucked the drawing-book to the end of the table, tossed a
dictionary after it, and threw another book or two into the air,
catching them as they came down.</p>
<p>“—while you, superior, sensible young man that you
are, born to be the comfort of your family—”</p>
<p>“Be quiet!” interrupted No. 3, trying to stop her;
but she ran round the table and proceeded:—</p>
<p>“—and the enlightener of mankind;
can’t—no, no, No. 3, I won’t be
stopt!—can’t amuse yourself with anything, because
everything is so ‘horribly slow, there’s nothing to
do,’ so you want to tie yourself to your foolish
sister’s apron string.”</p>
<p>“It’s too bad!” shouted No. 3; and a race
round the table began between them, but Aunt Judy dodged far too
cleverly to be caught, so it ended in their resting at opposite
ends; No. 6 and her French exercises lying between them.</p>
<p>“No. 6, my dear,” cried Aunt Judy, in the lull of
exertion, “I proclaim a holiday from folly and
rubbish. Put your books away, and put your impertinence
away too. Hold your tongue, and don’t be Miss Pest;
and vanish as soon as you can.”</p>
<p>Miss Pert performed two or three putting-away evolutions with
the velocity of a sunbeam, and darted off through the door.</p>
<p>“Now, then, we’ll be reasonable,” observed
Aunt Judy; and carrying a chair to the front of the fire she sat
down, and motioned to No. 3 to do the same, taking out from her
pocket a little bit of embroidery work, which she kept ready for
chatting hours.</p>
<p>No. 3 was always willing to listen to Aunt Judy.</p>
<p>He desired nothing better than to get her undivided attention,
and pour out his groans in her ear; so he sat down with a very
good grace, and proceeded to insist that there never was anything
so “slow” as “it was.”</p>
<p>Aunt Judy wanted to know what <i>it</i> was; the place or the
people, (including herself,) or what?</p>
<p>No. 3 could explain it no other way than by declaring that
<i>everything</i> was slow; there was nothing to do.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy maintained that there was plenty to do.</p>
<p>Whereupon No. 3 said:—</p>
<p>“But nothing <i>worth</i> doing.”</p>
<p>Whereupon Aunt Judy told No. 3 that he was just like Dr.
Faustus. On which, of course, No. 3 wanted to know what Dr.
Faustus was like, and Aunt Judy answered, that he was just like
<i>him</i>, only a great deal older and very learned.</p>
<p>“Only quite different, then,” suggested No. 3.</p>
<p>“No,” said Aunt Judy, “not <i>quite</i>
different, for he came one day to the same conclusion that you
have done, namely, that there was nothing to do, worth doing in
the world.”</p>
<p>“<i>I</i> don’t say the world, I only say
here,” observed No. 3; “there’s plenty to do
elsewhere, I dare say.”</p>
<p>“So you think, because you have not tried else
where,” answered Aunt Judy. “But Dr. Faustus,
who had tried elsewhere, thought everywhere alike, and declared
there was nothing worth doing anywhere, although he had studied
law, physic, divinity, and philosophy all through, and knew
pretty nearly everything.”</p>
<p>“Then you see he did not get much good out of
learning,” remarked No. 3.</p>
<p>“I do see,” was the reply.</p>
<p>“And what became of him?”</p>
<p>“Ah, that’s the point,” replied Aunt Judy,
“and a very remarkable point too. As soon as he got
into the state of fancying there was nothing to do, worth doing,
in God’s world, the evil spirit came to him, and found him
something to do in what I may, I am sure, call the devil’s
world—I mean, wickedness.”</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s a story written upon Watts’s old
hymn,” exclaimed No. 3, contemptuously:—</p>
<blockquote><p>“‘For Satan finds some mischief
still,<br/>
For idle hands to do.’</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Judy! I call that a regular
‘<i>sell</i>.’”</p>
<p>“Not a bit of it,” cried Aunt Judy, warmly;
“I don’t suppose the man who wrote the story ever saw
Watts’s hymns, or intended to teach anything half as
good. It’s mamma’s moral. She told me she
had screwed it out of the story, though she doubted whether it
was meant to be there.”</p>
<p>“And what’s the rest of the story then?”
inquired No. 3, whose curiosity was aroused.</p>
<p>“Well! when the old Doctor found the world as it was, so
‘<i>slow</i>,’ as you very unmeaningly call it, he
took to conjuring and talking with evil spirits by way of
amusement; and then they easily persuaded him to be wicked,
merely because it gave him something fresh and exciting to
do.”</p>
<p>“Watts’s hymn again! I told you so!”
exclaimed No. 3. “But the story’s all nonsense
from beginning to end. Nobody can conjure, or talk to evil
spirits in reality, so the whole thing is impossible; and where
you find the moral, I don’t know.”</p>
<p>No. 3 leant back and yawned as he concluded.</p>
<p>He was rather disappointed that nothing more entertaining had
come out of the story of Dr. Faustus.</p>
<p>But Aunt Judy had by no means done.</p>
<p>“Impossible about conjuring and actually <i>talking</i>
to evil spirits, certainly,” said she; “but spiritual
influences, both bad and good, come to us all, No. 3, without
bodily communion; so for those who are inclined to feel like Dr.
Faustus, there is both a moral and a warning in his
fate.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what about,” cried No.
3. “I think he was uncommonly stupid, after all he
had learnt, to get into such a mess. Why, you yourself are
always trying to make out that the more people labour and learn,
the more sure they are to keep out of mischief. Now then,
how do you account for the story of your friend Dr.
Faustus?”</p>
<p>“Because, like King Solomon, he did not labour and learn
in a right spirit, or to a right end,” replied Aunt
Judy. “Lord Bacon remarks that when, after the
Creation, God ‘looked upon everything He had made, behold
it was <i>very good</i>;’ whereas when man ‘turned
him about,’ and took a view of the world and his own
labours in it, he found that ‘all’ was ‘vanity
and vexation of spirit.’ Why did he come to such a
different conclusion, do you think?”</p>
<p>“I suppose because the world had got bad, before King
Solomon’s time,” suggested No. 3.</p>
<p>“Its inhabitants had,” replied Aunt Judy.
“They had become subject to sin and misery; but the world
was still God’s creation, and proofs of the ‘very
good’ which He had pronounced over it were to be found in
every direction, and even in fallen man, if Solomon had had the
sense, or rather I should say, good feeling to look for
them. Ah! No. 3, there was plenty to be learnt and
done that would <i>not</i> have ended in ‘vanity and
vexation of spirit’ if Solomon had <i>learnt</i> in order
to trace out the glory of God, instead of establishing his own;
and if he had <i>worked</i> to create, as far as was in his
power, a world of happiness for other people, instead of seeking
nothing but his own amusement. If he had worked in the
spirit of God, in short.”</p>
<p>“But who can?—Nobody,” exclaimed No. 3.</p>
<p>“Yes, everybody, who tries, can, to a certain
extent,” said Aunt Judy. “It only wants the
right feeling; some of the good God-like feeling which originated
the creation of a beautiful world, and caused the contemplation
of it to produce the sublime complacency which is described,
‘And God looked upon everything that He had made, and
behold it was very good.’”</p>
<p>“It’s a sermon, Judy,” cried No. 3, half
bored, yet half amused at the notion of her preaching;
“I’ll set up a pulpit for you at once, shall
I?”</p>
<p>“No, no, be quiet, No. 3,” exclaimed Aunt Judy,
“I wish you would try and understand what I say!”</p>
<p>“Well, then,” said No. 3, “it appears to me
that do what one might now the world has grown bad, it would be
impossible to pronounce that ‘<i>very good</i>,’ as
the result of one’s work. There would always be
something miserable and unsatisfactory at the end of everything;
I mean even if one really was to look into things closely, and
work for other people’s good, as you say.”</p>
<p>“There might be <i>something</i> miserable and
unsatisfactory, in the result, certainly,” answered Aunt
Judy; “but that it would <i>all</i> be ‘vanity and
vexation of spirit’ I deny. Our blessed Saviour came
into the world after it had grown bad, remember; and He worked
solely for the restoration of the ‘very good,’ which
sin had defaced. It was undoubtedly <i>miserable</i> and
<i>unsatisfactory</i> that He should be rejected by the very
creatures He came to help; but when He uttered the words
‘It is finished,’ the work which He had accomplished,
He might well have looked upon and called very good: very very
good; even beyond the creation, were that possible.”</p>
<p>“There can be no comparison between our Saviour and
us,” murmured No. 3.</p>
<p>“No,” replied his sister; “but only let
people work in the same direction, and they will have more
‘profit’ of their ‘labour,’ than King
Solomon ever owned to, who had, one fears, only learnt, in order
to be learned, and worked, to please himself. No man who
employs himself in tracing out God’s footsteps <i>in</i>
the world, or in working in God’s spirit <i>for</i> the
world, will ever find such labours end in ‘vanity and
vexation of spirit!’ Solomon, Dr. Faustus, and the
grumblers, have only themselves to thank for their
disappointment.”</p>
<p>“It’s very curious,” observed No. 3, getting
up, and stretching himself over the fire, “I mean about
Solomon and Dr. Faustus. But what can one do? What
can you or I do? It’s absurd to be fancying one can
do good to one’s fellow-creatures.”</p>
<p>“Nevertheless, there is one I want you to do good to, at
the present moment,” said Aunt Judy—“if it is
not actually raining. Don’t you remember what despair
No. 1 was in this morning, when father sent her off on the pony
in such a hurry.”</p>
<p>“Ah, that pony! That was just what I wanted
myself,” interrupted No. 3.</p>
<p>“Exactly, of course,” replied Aunt Judy.
“But you were not the messenger father wanted, so do not
let us go all over that ground again, pray. The fact was,
No. 1 had just heard that her pet ‘Tawny Rachel’ was
very ill, and she wanted to go and see her, and give her some
good advice, and I am to go instead. Now No. 3, suppose you
go instead of me, and save me a wet walk?”</p>
<p>No. 3, of course, began by protesting that it was not possible
that he could do any good to an old woman. Old women were
not at all in his way. He could only say, how do you do?
and come away.</p>
<p>Aunt Judy disputed this: she thought he could offer her some
creature comforts, and ask whether she had seen the Doctor, and
what he said, as No. 1 particularly wished to know.</p>
<p>What an idea! No, no; he must decline inquiring what the
Doctor said; it would be absurd; but he could offer her something
to eat.</p>
<p>—And just ask if she had had the Doctor.—Well,
just that, and come away. It would not occupy many
minutes. But he wished, while Aunt Judy was about it, she
had found him something rather <i>longer</i> to do!</p>
<p>Aunt Judy promised to see what could be devised on his return,
and No. 3 departed. And a very happily chosen errand it
was; for it happened in this case, as it so constantly does
happen, that what was begun for other people’s sake, ended
in personal gratification. No. 3 went to see “Tawny
Rachel,” out of good-natured compliance with Aunt
Judy’s request, but found an interest and amusement in the
visit itself, which he had not in the least expected.</p>
<p>Ten, twenty, thirty, minutes elapsed, and he had not returned;
and when he did so at last, he burst into the house far more like
an avalanche than a young gentleman who could find “nothing
to do.”</p>
<p>Coming in the back way, he ran into the kitchen, and told the
servants to get some hot water ready directly, for he was sure
something would be wanted. Then, passing forward, he
shouted to know where his mother was, and, having found her,
entreated she would order some comfortable, gruelly stuff or
other, to be made for the sick old woman, particularly insisting
that it should have ale or wine, as well as spice and sugar in
it.</p>
<p>He was positive that that was just what she ought to
have! She had said how cold she was, and how glad she
should be of something to warm her inside; and there was nobody
to do anything for her at home. What a shame it was for a
poor old creature like that to be left with only two dirty boys
to look after her, and they always at play in the street!
Her daughter and husband were working out, and she sat moaning
over the fire, from pain, without anybody to care!</p>
<p style="text-align: center">* * *</p>
<p>Tender-hearted and impulsive, if thoughtless, the spirit of
No. 3 had been moved within him at the spectacle of the gaunt old
woman in this hour of her lonely suffering.</p>
<p>Poor “Tawny Rachel!” The children had called
her so, from the heroine of Mrs. Hannah More’s tale,
because of those dark gipsy eyes of hers, which had formerly
given such a fine expression to her handsome but melancholy
face. Melancholy, because care-worn from the long
life’s struggle for daily bread, for a large indulged
family, who scarcely knew, at the day of her death, that she had
worn herself out for their sakes.</p>
<p>Poor “Tawny Rachel!” She was one day asked
by a well-meaning shopkeeper, of whom she had purchased a few
goods, <i>where she thought she was going to</i>?</p>
<p>“Tawny Rachel” turned her sad eyes upon her
interrogator, and made answer:—</p>
<p>“Going to? why where do you think I’m going to,
but to Heaven?—‘Deed! where do you think I’m
going to, but to Heaven?” she repeated to herself slowly,
as if to recover breath; and then added, “I should like to
know who Heaven is for, if not for such as me, that have slaved
all their lives through, for other folk;” and so saying,
Tawny Rachel turned round again, and went away.</p>
<p>Poor “Tawny Rachel!” The theology was
imperfect enough; but so had been her education and
advantages. Yet as surely as her scrupulous, never-failing
honesty, and unmurmuring self-denial, must have been inspired by
something beyond human teaching; so surely did it prove no
difficult task to her spiritual guide, to lead her onwards to
those simple verities of the Christian Faith, which, in her case,
seemed to solve the riddle of a weary, unsatisfactory life, and,
confiding in which, the approach of death really became to her,
the advent of the Prince of Peace.</p>
<p style="text-align: center">* * *</p>
<p>“But she had quite cheered up,” remarked No. 3,
“at the notion of something comforting and good,” and
so—he had “come off at once.”</p>
<p>“At once!”—the exclamation came from Aunt
Judy, who had entered the room, and was listening to the
account. “Why, No. 3, you must have been there an
hour at least. And nevertheless I dare say you have
forgotten about the Doctor.”</p>
<p>“The Doctor!” cried No. 3,
laughing,—“It’s the Doctor who has kept me all
this time. You never heard such fun in your
life,—only he’s an awful old rascal, I must
say!”</p>
<p>Mamma and Aunt Judy gazed at No. 3 in bewilderment. The
respectable old village practitioner, who had superintended all
the deceases in the place for nearly half a century—to be
called “an awful old rascal” at last! What
could No. 3 be thinking of?</p>
<p>Certainly not of the respectable village practitioner, as he
soon explained, by describing the arrival at Tawny Rachel’s
cottage of a travelling quack with a long white beard.</p>
<p>“My dear No. 3!” exclaimed mamma.</p>
<p>“Mother, dear, I can’t help it!” cried No.
3, and proceeded to relate that while he was sitting with the old
woman, listening to the account of her aches and pains, some one
looked in at the door, and asked if she wanted anything; but,
before she could speak, remarked how ill she seemed, and said he
could give her something to do her good.
“Judy!” added No. 3, breaking suddenly off; “he
looked just like Dr. Faustus, I’m sure!”</p>
<p>“Never mind about that,” cried Aunt Judy.
“Tell us what Tawny Rachel said.”</p>
<p>“Oh, she called out that he <i>must give</i> it, if she
was to have it, for she had nothing to pay for it with. I
had a shilling in my pocket, and was just going to offer it, when
I recollected he would most likely do her more harm than
good. But the gentleman with the white beard walked in
immediately, set his pack down on the table, and said,
‘Then, my good woman, I <i>shall</i> give it you;’
and out he brought a bottle, tasted it before he gave it to her,
and promised her that it would cure her if she took it
all.”</p>
<p>“My dear No. 3!” repeated mamma once more.</p>
<p>“Yes, I know she can’t be cured, mother, and I
think she knows it too; but still she ‘<i>took it very
kind</i>,’ as she called it, of him, and asked him if he
would like to ‘rest him’ a bit by the fire, and the
gentleman accepted the invitation; and there we all three sat,
for really I quite enjoyed seeing him, and he began to warm his
hands, remarking that the young gentleman—that was I, you
know—looked very well. Oh, Judy, I very nearly said
‘Thank you, Dr. Faustus,’ but I only laughed and
nodded, and really did hold my tongue; and then the two began to
talk, and it was as good as any story you ever invented, Aunt
Judy. Tawny Rachel was very inquisitive, and asked
him:—</p>
<p>“‘You’ve come a long way, sir, I
suppose?’</p>
<p>“‘Yes, ma’am; I’m a great traveller,
and have been so a many years.’</p>
<p>“‘It’s a wonder you have not settled before
now.’</p>
<p>“‘I might have settled, ma’am, a many
times.’</p>
<p>“‘Ah, when folks once begin wandering, they
can’t settle down. You were, maybe, brought up to
it.’</p>
<p>“‘I was brought up to something a deal better than
that, ma’am.’</p>
<p>“‘You was, sir? It’s a pity, I’m
sure.’</p>
<p>“‘My father was physician to Queen Elizabeth,
ma’am, a many years.’”</p>
<p>When No. 3 arrived at this point of the dialogue, mamma and
Aunt Judy both exclaimed at once, and the former repeated once
more the expostulatory “My dear No. 3!” which
delighted No. 3, who proceeded to assure them that he had himself
interrupted the travelling quack here, by suggesting that it was
Queen Charlotte he meant.</p>
<p>“Old Queen Charlotte, you know, Judy, that No. 1 was
telling the children about the other day.”</p>
<p>But the “gentleman,” as No. 3 called him, had
turned very red at the doubt thus thrown on his accuracy, and put
a rather threatening croak into his voice, as he said:—</p>
<p>“Asking your pardon, young gentleman, I know what
I’m saying, and it was Queen Elizabeth, and not Charlotte
nor anybody else!”</p>
<p>No. 3 described that he felt it best, after this, to hold his
tongue and say no more, so Tawny Rachel put in her word, and
remarked, it was a wonder the queen hadn’t made their
fortunes; on which the gentleman turned rather red again, and
said that the queen did make their fortune, but wouldn’t
let them keep it, for fear they should be too great and too
rich—that was it! This statement required a little
explanation, but the gentleman was ready with all
particulars. The queen used to pay his father by hundreds
of pounds at a time, because that was due to him, but being
jealous of his having so much money, she always set some one to
take it away from him as he left the place! So that was the
reason why these was no fortune put by for him after his father
died, and that was the reason why he couldn’t very well
settle at first, though everybody wished him to stay, and
<i>so</i> he took to travelling; for his father had left him all
his secrets, and he was qualified to practise anywhere, and had
cured some thousands of sick folks up and down!</p>
<p>No. 3 declared that he had not made the old man’s
account of himself a bit more unconnected than it really was,
and, on the whole, it sounded very imposing to poor Tawny Rachel,
who watched his departure with a sort of respectful awe.</p>
<p>No. 3 added, that not liking to disturb her faith either in
the man or the bottle, he had himself helped her to the first
dose, and had then begun to talk about the creature comforts
before described, the very mention of which seemed to cheer the
old lady’s heart, and to interest her at least as much as
the biography of the travelling quack.</p>
<p>“So now, mother,” concluded he, “order the
gruel, and we’ll give three cheers for Queen Elizabeth, and
Dr. Faustus—eh, Judy? But I do think the poor old
thing ought not to take that man’s poisonous rubbish; so
here’s my shilling, and welcome, if you’ll give some
more, and let us send for a real doctor.”</p>
<p>The “nothing-to-do” morning had nearly slipped
away, between the conversation with Aunt Judy, and the visit to
Tawny Rachel; and when, soon after, a friend called to take No. 3
off on a fossil hunt, and he had to snatch a hasty morsel before
his departure, he declared he was like the poor governess in the
song, who was sure to</p>
<blockquote><p> “Find out,<br/>
With attention and zeal,<br/>
That she’d scarcely have time<br/>
To partake of a meal,”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>there was so much to do. “But you’re a
capital fellow, Judy,” he added, kissing her, “and
you’ll tell me a story when I come back;” and off he
ran, shutting his ears to Aunt Judy’s declaration that she
only told stories to the “little ones.”</p>
<p>Nor would she, on his return, and during the cozy evening
“nothing-to-do” hour, consent to devote herself to
his especial amusement only. So, after arguing the point
for a time, he very wisely yielded, and declared at last that he
would be a “little one” too, and listen to a
“little one’s” story, if Aunt Judy would tell
one.</p>
<p>It was rather late when this was settled, and the little ones
had stayed up-stairs to play at a newly-invented
game—bazaars—in the nursery; but when No. 3 strode in
with the announcement of the story, there was a shout of delight,
followed by the old noisy rush down-stairs to the
dining-room.</p>
<p>It is not a bad thing to be a “little one” now and
then in spirit. People would do well to try and be so
oftener. Who that has looked upon a picture of himself as a
“little one,” has not wished that he could be
restored to the “little one’s” spirit, the
“little one’s” innocence, the “little
one’s” hopeful trust? “Of such is the
kingdom of Heaven!” And though none of us would like
to live our lives over again, lest our errors should be repeated,
and so doubled in guilt, all of us, at the sight of what we once
were, would fain, very fain, if we could, lie down to sleep, and
awake a “little one” again. Never, perhaps, is
the sweet mercy of an early death brought so closely home to our
apprehension, as when the grown-up, care-worn man looks upon the
image of himself as a child.</p>
<p>Happily, however—nay, more than happily,
<i>mercifully</i>—the grown-up man, if he do but put on the
humility, may gain something of the peace of a “little
one’s” heart!</p>
<p>Aunt Judy had twisted up a roll of muslin for a turban on her
head by the time they came down, “for,” said she,
“this is to be an eastern tale, and I shall not be
inspired—that is to say, I shall not get on a
bit—unless there is a costume and manners to correspond, so
you three little ones squat yourselves down Turkish-fashion on
the floor, with your legs tucked under you. There now!
that’s something like, and I begin to feel myself in the
East. Nevertheless, I am rather glad there is no critical
Eastern traveller at hand, listening through the key-hole to my
blunders.</p>
<p>“However, errors excepted, here is the wonderful story
of</p>
<h3>‘The King of the Hills and his Four Sons.’</h3>
<p>“A great many years ago, in a country which cannot be
traced upon the maps, but which lies somewhere between the great
rivers Indus and Euphrates, lived Schelim, King of the Hills.</p>
<p>“His riches were unlimited, his palaces magnificent, and
his dresses and jewels of the most costly description. He
never condescended to wear a diamond unless it was inconveniently
large for his fingers, and the fiery opals which adorned his
turban (like those in the mineral-room at the British Museum)
shimmered and blazed in such a surprising manner, that people
were obliged to lower their eyes before the light of them.</p>
<p>“Powerful as well as rich, King Schelim could have
anything in the world he wished for, but—such is the
perversity of human nature—he cared very little for
anything except smoking his pipe; of which, to say the truth, he
was so fond, that he would have been well contented to have done
nothing else all day long. It seemed to him the nearest
approach to the sublimest of all ideas of human
happiness—the having <i>nothing to do</i>.</p>
<p>“He caused his four sons to be brought up in luxurious
ease, his wish for them being, that they should remain ignorant
of pain and sorrow for as long a period of their lives as was
possible. So he built a palace for them, at the summit of
one of his beautiful hills, where nothing disagreeable or
distressing could ever meet their eyes, and he gave orders to
their attendants, that they should never be thwarted in
anything.</p>
<p>“Every wish of their hearts, therefore, was gratified
from their baby days; but so far from being in consequence the
happiest, they were the most discontented children in his
dominions.</p>
<p>“From the first year of their birth, King Schelim had
never been able to smoke his pipe in peace. There were
always messages coming from the royal nursery to the
smoking-room, asking for something fresh for the four young
princes, who were, owing to some mysterious cause, incapable of
enjoying any of their luxurious indulgences for more than a few
hours together.</p>
<p>“At first these incessant demands for one thing or
another for the children, surprised and annoyed their papa
considerably, but by degrees he got used to it, and took the
arrival of the messengers as a matter of course.</p>
<p>“The very nurses began it:—</p>
<p>“‘May it please your Majesty, the young princes,
your Majesty’s incomparable sons—may their shadows
never be less!—are tired of their jewelled rattles, and
have thrown them on the floor. Doubtless they would like
India-rubber rings with bells better.’</p>
<p>“‘Then get them India-rubber rings with
bells,’ was all King Schelim said, and turned to his pipe
again.</p>
<p>“And so it went on perpetually, until one day it came
to,—</p>
<p>“‘May it please your Majesty, the young princes,
your Majesty’s incomparable sons—may their shadows
never be less!—have thrown their hobbyhorses into the
river, and want to have live ponies instead.’</p>
<p>“At the first moment the king gave his usual answer,
‘Then get them live ponies instead,’ from a sort of
mechanical habit, but the words were scarcely uttered when he
recalled them. This request awoke even his sleepy soul out
of its smoke-dream, and inquiring into the ages of his sons, and
finding that they were of years to learn as well as to ride, he
dismissed their nurses, placed them in the hands of tutors, and
procured for them the best masters of every description.</p>
<p>“‘For,’ said he, ‘what saith the
proverb? “Kings govern the earth, but wise men govern
kings.” My sons shall be wise as well as kingly, and
then they can govern themselves.’</p>
<p>“And after settling this so cleverly, King Schelim
resumed his pipe, in the confident hope, that now, at last, he
should smoke it in peace.</p>
<p>“‘For,’ said he, ‘when my sons shall
become wise through learning, they will be more moderate in their
desires.’</p>
<p>“I do not know whether his Majesty’s incomparable
sons relished this change from nurses to tutors, but on that
particular point they were allowed no choice; so if they bemoaned
themselves in their palace on the hill, their father knew nothing
of it.</p>
<p>“And to soften the disagreeableness of the restraint
which learning imposes, King Schelim gave more strict orders than
ever, that, provided the young gentlemen only learnt their
lessons well, every whim that came into their heads should be
complied with soon as expressed.</p>
<p>“In spite of all his ingenious arrangements, however,
the royal father did not enjoy the amount of repose he
expected. All was quiet enough during lesson-hours, it is
true; but as soon as ever that period had elapsed, the young
princes became as restless as ever. Nay—the older
they grew, the more they wanted, and the less pleased they became
with what was granted.</p>
<p>“From very early days of the tutorship, the old story
began:—</p>
<p>“‘May it please your Majesty, the young princes,
your Majesty’s incomparable sons—may their shadows
never be less!—are tired of their ponies, and want horses
instead.’</p>
<p>“The king was a little disappointed at this, and
actually laid down his pipe to talk.</p>
<p>“‘Is anything the matter with the ponies?’
he asked.</p>
<p>“‘May it please your Majesty, no; only that your
incomparable sons call them <i>slow</i>.’</p>
<p>“‘Spirited lads!’ thought the king, quite
consoled, and gave the answer as usual:—</p>
<p>“‘Then get them horses instead.’ But
when only a few days afterwards he was informed that his
incomparable sons had wearied of their horses, because they also
were ‘slow,’ and wished to ride on elephants instead,
his Majesty began to feel disturbed in mind, and wonder what
would come next, and how it was that the teaching of the tutors
did not make his sons more moderate in their desires.</p>
<p>“‘Nevertheless,’ said he, ‘what saith
the proverb, “Thou a man, and lackest
patience?” And again,</p>
<blockquote><p>“Early ripe, early rotten,<br/>
Early wise, soon forgotten.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>My sons are but children yet.’</p>
<p>“After which reflection he returned to his pipe as
before, and disturbed himself as little as possible, when
messenger after messenger arrived, to announce the fresh vagaries
of the young princes.</p>
<p>“It is impossible to enumerate all the luxuries,
amusements, and delights, they asked for, obtained, and wearied
of during several years. But the longer it went on, the
more hardened and indifferent their father became.</p>
<p>“‘For,’ said he, ‘what saith the
proverb? “The longest lane turns at
last.” At last my sons will have everything man can
wish for, and then they will cease from asking, and I shall smoke
my pipe in peace.’</p>
<p>“One day, however, the messenger entered the royal
smoking-room in a greater hurry than ever, and was about to
commence his usual elaborate peroration respecting the
incomparable sons, when his Majesty held up his hand to stop him,
and called out:—</p>
<p>“‘What is it now?’</p>
<p>“‘May it please your Majesty, your Majesty’s
in—’</p>
<p>“‘What is it they <i>want</i>?’ cried the
king, interrupting him.</p>
<p>“‘May it please your Majesty, <i>something to
do</i>.’</p>
<p>“‘Something to do?’ repeated the perplexed
king of the hills; ‘something to do, when half the riches
of my empire have been expended upon providing them with the
means of doing everything in the world that was delightful to the
soul of man?</p>
<p>“‘Surely, oh son of a dog, thou art laughing at my
beard, to come to me with such a message from my sons.’</p>
<p>“‘Nevertheless, may it please your Majesty, I have
spoken but the truth. Your Majesty’s
in—’</p>
<p>“‘Hush with that nonsense,’ interrupted the
king.</p>
<p>“‘Your Majesty’s sons, in fact, then, have
sickened and pined for three mortal days, because they have got
<i>nothing to do</i>.’</p>
<p>“‘Now, then, my sons are mad!’ exclaimed
poor King Schelim, laying down his pipe, and rising from his
recumbent position; ‘and it is time that I bestir
myself.’</p>
<p>“And thereupon he summoned his attendants, and sent for
the royal Hakim, that is to say, physician; and the most learned
and experienced Dervish, that is to say, religious teacher of the
neighbourhood.</p>
<p>“‘For,’ said he, ‘who knows whether
this sickness is of the body or the soul?’</p>
<p>“And having explained to them how he had brought up his
children, the indulgences with which he had surrounded them, the
learning which he had had instilled into them, and the way in
which he had preserved them from every annoying sight and sound,
he concluded:—</p>
<p>“‘What more could I have done for the happiness of
my children than I have done, and how is it that their reason has
departed from them, so that they are at a loss for something to
do? Speak one or other of you and explain.’</p>
<p>“Then the Dervish stepped forward, and opening his
mouth, began to make answer.</p>
<p>“‘And,’ said he, ‘oh King of the
Hills, in the bringing up of thy sons, surely thou hast forgotten
the proverb which saith, “He that would know good manners,
let him learn them from him who hath them not.” For
even so may the wise man say of happiness, “He that would
know he is happy, must learn it from him who is not.”
But again, doth not another proverb say, “Will thy candle
burn less brightly for lighting mine?” Wherefore the
happiness which a man has, when he has discovered it, he is bound
to impart to those that have it not. Have I spoken
well?’</p>
<p>“Then King and the Hakim declared he had spoken
remarkably well; nevertheless I am by no means sure that King
Schelim knew what he meant. Whereupon the Dervish offered
to go at once to the four incomparable princes, and cure them of
their madness in supposing they had nothing to do, and King
Schelim in great delight, and thoroughly glad to be rid of the
trouble, told him that he placed his sons entirely in his hands;
then taking him aside, he addressed to him a parting word in
confidence.</p>
<p>“‘Thou knowest, oh wise Dervish, that I have had
no education myself, and therefore, as the proverb hath it,
“To say <i>I don’t know</i>, is the comfort of my
life,” yet what better is a learned man than a fool, if he
comes but to this conclusion at last? See thou restore
wisdom and something to do to the souls of my sons.’</p>
<p>“Which the Dervish promised to accomplish, accordingly
in company with the Hakim, he betook himself to the palace of the
four princes, his Majesty’s incomparable sons.</p>
<p>“Well, in spite of all they had heard, both the Dervish
and Hakim were surprised at what they really found at the palace
of the four princes.</p>
<p>“It was as if everything that human ingenuity could
devise for the gratification, amusement, and occupation both of
body and mind had been here brought together. Horses,
elephants, chariots, creatures of every description, for hunting,
riding, driving, and all sorts of sport were there, countless in
numbers, and perfect in kind. Gardens, pleasure-grounds,
woods, flowers, birds, and fountains, to delight the eye and ear;
while within the palace were sources of still deeper
enjoyment. The songs of the poets and the wisdom of the
ancients reposed there upon golden shelves. Musicians held
themselves in readiness to pour exquisite melodies upon the air;
games, exercises, in-door sports in every variety could be
commanded in a moment, and attendants waited in all directions to
fulfil their young masters’ will.</p>
<p>“The poor old Dervish and Hakim looked at each other in
fresh amazement at every step they took, and neither of them
could find a proverb to fit so extraordinary a case.</p>
<p>“At last, after a long walk through chambers and
anti-chambers without end, hung round with mirrors and ornaments,
they reached the apartment of the young princes, where they found
the four incomparable creatures lounging on four ottomans,
sighing their hearts out, because they had ‘nothing to
do.’</p>
<p>“As the door opened, the eldest prince glanced languidly
round, and inquired if the messenger had returned from their
father, and being answered that the Dervish and Hakim, who now
stood before him, were messengers from their father, he called
out to know if the old gentleman had sent them anything to
do!</p>
<p>“‘The king, your father’s spirit is
disturbed with anxiety,’ answered the Dervish, ‘lest
some sudden calamity should have deprived his sons of the use of
their limbs or their senses, or lest their attendants should have
failed to provide them with everything the earth affords
delightful to the soul of man.’</p>
<p>“‘The king, our father’s spirit is disturbed
with smoke,’ replied the eldest prince, ‘or he never
would have sent such an old fellow as you with such an answer as
that. What’s the use of the use of one’s limbs,
or one’s senses, or all the earth affords delightful to the
soul of man, if we’re sick of it all? Just go back
and tell him we’ve got everything, and are sick of
everything, and can do everything, and don’t care to do
anything, because everything is so ‘slow;’ so we will
trouble him to find us something fresh to do. There! is
that clear enough, old gentleman?’</p>
<p>“‘The king, your father,’ answered the
Dervish, ‘has provided against even that emergency; I am
come to tell you of something fresh to see and to do.’</p>
<p>“No sooner had the Dervish uttered these words, than the
four princes jumped up from the ottoman in the most lively and
vigorous manner, and clamoured to know what it was, expressing
their hope that it was a ‘jolly lark.’</p>
<p>“In answer to which the Dervish, lifting himself up in a
commanding manner, stretched out his arm, and exclaimed, in a
solemn voice:—</p>
<p>“‘Young men, you have exhausted happiness.
Nothing new remains in the world for you, but misery and
want. Follow me!’</p>
<p>“There was something so unusual about the tone of this
address, and it was uttered in so imposing a manner, that the
young princes were, as it were, taken by storm, and they followed
the Dervish and Hakim, without a word of inquiry or
objection.</p>
<p>“And he led them away from the palace on the beautiful
hill—away from all the sights and sounds that were
collected together there to delight the soul of man with both
bodily and intellectual enjoyment—down into the city in the
valley, among the close-packed habitations of common men,
congregated there to labour, and just exist, and then die.</p>
<p>“And presently the Dervish and the Hakim spoke together,
and then the Hakim led the way through a gloomy by-street, till
he came to a habitation into which he entered, and the rest
followed without a word. And there, stretched upon a
pallet, wasted and worn with pain, lay a youth scarcely older
than the young princes themselves, the lower part of whose body
was wrapped round with bandages, and who was unable to move.</p>
<p>“The Hakim proceeded at once to unloosen the fastenings,
and to examine the limbs of the sufferer. They had been
crushed by a frightful accident, while working for his daily
bread, in the quarries of marble near the palace on the hill.</p>
<p>“‘Is there no hope, my father?’ he
ejaculated in agony as the bruised thighs were exposed to the
light, revealing a spectacle from which the princes turned
horrified away.</p>
<p>“But the Dervish stood between them and the door, and
motioned them back.</p>
<p>“‘Is there no hope?’ repeated the
youth. ‘Shall I never again tread the earth in the
freedom of health and strength? never again climb the
mountain-side to taste the sweet breath of heaven? never again
even step across this narrow room, to look forth into the narrow
street?’</p>
<p>“Sobs of distress here broke from the speaker; and,
covering his face with his hands, he awaited the Hakim’s
reply. But while the latter bent down to whisper his
answer, the Dervish addressed himself to the trembling
princes:—</p>
<p>“‘Learn here, at last,’ said he, ‘the
value of those limbs, the power of using which you look upon with
such thankless indifference. As it is with this youth
to-day, so may it be with you to-morrow, if the decree goes forth
from on high. Bid me not again return to your father to
tell him you are weary of a blessing, the loss of which would
overwhelm you with despair.’</p>
<p>“The young princes,” continued Aunt Judy, were, as
their father had said, but children yet; that is to say, although
they were fourteen or fifteen years old, they were childish, in
not having reflected or learnt to reason. But they were not
hard-hearted at bottom. Their tenderness for others had
never been called out during their life of self-indulgence, but
the sight of this young man’s condition, whom they
personally knew as one who had at times been permitted to come up
and join in their games, over-powered them with dismay.</p>
<p>“They entreated the Hakim to say if nothing could be
done, and when he told them that a nurse, and better food, and
the discourse of a wise companion, were all essential for the
recovery of the patient, there was not, to say the truth, one
among them who was not ready with promises of assistance, and
even offers of personal help.</p>
<p>“And now, bidding adieu to this youthful sufferer, whose
distress seemed to receive a sudden calm from the sympathy the
young princes betrayed, the Hakim led the way to another part of
the town, where he entered a house of rather better description,
in a small room of which they found a pale, middle-aged man, who
was engaged in making a coarse sort of netting for trees.
Hearing the noise of the entrance, he looked up, and asked who it
was, but with no change of countenance, or apparent recognition
of anyone there. But as soon as the Hakim had uttered the
words ‘It is I,’ a gleam of delight stole over the
pale face, and the man, rising from his chair, stretched out his
arms to the Hakim, entreating him to approach.</p>
<p>“And then the young princes saw that the pale man was
blind.</p>
<p>“‘Is there any change, oh Cassian?’ inquired
the Hakim, kindly.</p>
<p>“‘None, my father,’ answered the blind man,
in a subdued tone. ‘But shall I murmur at what is
appointed? Surely not in vain was the privilege granted me,
of transcribing the manuscripts which repose on the golden
shelves in the palace of the royal princes. Surely not in
vain did I gather, from the treasures of ancient wisdom, and the
divine songs of the poets, sources of consolation for the
suffering children of men.’</p>
<p>“‘And has anyone been of late to read to
you?’ asked the Hakim.</p>
<p>“But this inquiry the blind man seemed scarcely able to
answer. Big tears gathered into the sightless eyes, and
folding his hands across his bosom, he murmured out:—</p>
<p>“‘None, oh my father. Not to everyone is it
permitted to trace the characters of light in which the wise have
recorded their wisdom. I alone of my family knew the
secret. I alone suffer now. But shall I not submit to
this also with a cheerful spirit? It is written, and it
behoves me to submit.’</p>
<p>“And, with tears streaming over his cheeks, the blind
man took up the netting which he had laid aside, and forced
himself to the work.</p>
<p>“‘Seest thou!’ exclaimed the Dervish,
turning to the prince who stood next him, apparently absorbed in
contemplating the scene. ‘Seest thou how precious are
the powers thou hast wearied of in the spring-time of life?
How dear are the opportunities thou hast not cared to delight
in? Bid me not again return to the king, your father, to
tell him his sons can find no pleasure in blessings, the
deprivation of which they themselves would feel to be the
shutting out of the sun from the soul.’</p>
<p>“Then the young prince to whom the Dervish addressed
himself, wept bitterly, and begged to be allowed to visit the
blind man from time to time, and read to him out of the
manuscripts that reposed on the golden shelves in the palace on
the hill; and which, he now learnt for the first time, had been
transcribed for his use, and that of his brothers, by the skill
of the sufferer before him.</p>
<p>“And when the blind man clasped his hands over his head,
and would have prostrated himself on the ground, in gratitude to
him who spoke, asking who the charitable pitier of the afflicted
could be, the prince embraced him as if he had been his brother,
forced him back gently into his seat, and bidding him await him
at that hour on the morrow, followed the Hakim from the
house.</p>
<p>“And now the Dervish and Hakim spoke together once
again, and the place they visited next was of a very different
description.</p>
<p>“Enclosed within walls, and limited in extent, because
in the outskirts of a populous town, the garden into which they
presently entered, was—though but as a drop in comparison
with the ocean—no unworthy rival of the gorgeous
pleasure-grounds of the palace. There, too, the roses
unfolded themselves in their glory to the sun, tiny fountains
scattered their cooling spray around, and singing-birds,
suspended on overshadowing trees, of this scene of miniature
beauty a venerable was perceived, seated under the shadow of an
arbour, in front of a table on which were scattered manuscripts,
papers, parchments, and dried plants, and in one corner of which
were laid a set of tablets and writing materials.</p>
<p>“Although the door by which they entered had fallen to,
with a noise as they passed through, the old man did not seem to
be aware of it, nor did he notice their presence until they came
so near, that their shadows fell on some of the papers on the
table. Then, indeed, he looked suddenly up, and with a
smile and gesture of delight, bade them welcome.</p>
<p>“It was not difficult to divine that the old man had
lost the sense of hearing, and the Dervish, taking up the tablets
from the table, wrote upon them the following words, which he
showed to the young princes, before presenting them to him for
whom they were intended:—</p>
<p>“‘Hast thou not wearied yet, oh brother, of thy
narrow garden, and the ever-recurring succession of flowers, and
thy study of the secrets of Nature?’</p>
<p>“Whereat the deaf man smiled again, and wrote upon the
tablets:—</p>
<p>“‘Can anyone weary of tracing out the skilful
providence of the Divine Mind? Is it not a world within a
world, oh my brother, and inexhaustible in itself?’</p>
<p>“The youngest prince pressed forward to read the answer,
and having read it, turned to the Dervish, and said, ‘Ask
him why the singing-birds are suspended in the garden, whose
voices he cannot hear.’</p>
<p>“‘Write on the tablet, my son,’ said the
Dervish; and when he had written it, the old man answered, in the
same manner as before:—</p>
<p>“‘I would remember my infirmity, my son, lest my
soul should be tied to the beauties of the visible world, but now
when I see the twittering bills of the feathered songsters, I
remember that one sense has departed, and that the others must
follow; and I prepare myself for death, trusting that those who
have rejoiced in the Divine Mind—however
imperfectly—here, may rejoice yet more hereafter, when no
sense or power shall be wanting!’</p>
<p>“After this, the venerable old man led them to a
secluded corner of the garden, where his young son was
instructing one portion of a class of children from the secrets
of his father’s manuscripts, while another set of
youngsters were engaged in cultivating flowers, by regular
instruction and rule. Many a bright, cheerful face looked
up at the old man and his visitors as they passed, but no one
seemed to wish to leave his work, or his lesson, or the kind
young tutor who ruled among them.</p>
<p>“‘We have wasted our lives, oh my father!’
exclaimed the young princes, as they passed from this
sight. ‘Tell us, may we not come back again here, to
learn true wisdom from this man and his son?’</p>
<p>“Having obtained the old man’s willing consent to
his, the Hakim retiring conducted his companions back into the
streets; and the young princes, whose eyes were now opened to the
instruction they were receiving, came up to the Dervish, and
said:—</p>
<p>“‘Oh, wise Dervish, we have learnt the lesson you
would teach, and we know now that it is but a folly, and a
mockery, and a lie, when a man says that he has nothing to
do. There is enough to do for all men, if their minds are
directed right! Have I not spoken well?’</p>
<p>“‘Thou hast spoken well according to thy
knowledge,’ answered the Dervish, ‘but thou hast yet
another lesson to learn.’</p>
<p>“The prince was silenced, and the Dervish and Hakim
hurried forward to a still different part of the city, where
several trades were carried on, and where in one place they came
upon an open square, about which a number of gaunt, wild-looking
men, were lounging or sitting; unoccupied, listless, and sad.</p>
<p>“‘This is wrong, my father, is it not?’
inquired one of the princes; but the Dervish, instead of
answering him, addressed a man who was standing somewhat apart
from the others, and inquired why he was loitering there in
idleness, instead of occupying himself in some honest manner?</p>
<p>“The man laughed a bitter mocking laugh, and turning to
his companions, shouted out, ‘Hear what the wise man
asks! When trade has failed, and no one wants our labour,
he asks us why we stand idling here!’ Then, facing
the Dervish, he continued, ‘Do you not know, can you not
see, oh teacher of the blind, that we have got <i>nothing to
do</i>?—<i>Nothing to do</i>!’ he repeated with a
loud cry—‘<i>Nothing to do</i>! with hearts willing
to work, and hands able to work,’—(here he stretched
out his bared, muscular arm to the Dervish,)—‘and
wife and children calling out for food! Give us
<i>something to do</i>, thou preacher of virtue and
industry,’ he concluded, throwing himself on the ground in
anguish; ‘or, at any rate, cease to mock us with the solemn
inquiry of a fool.’</p>
<p>“‘Oh, my father, my father,’ cried the young
princes, pressing forward, ‘this is the worst, the very
worst of all! All things can be borne, but this dire
reality of having <i>nothing to do</i>. Let us find them
something to do. Let us tear up our gardens, plough up our
lawns, and pleasure-grounds, so that we do but find work for
these men, and save their children and wives from
hunger.’</p>
<p>“‘And themselves from crime,’ added the
Dervish solemnly. Then quitting his companions, he went
into the crowd of men, and made known to them in a few hurried
words, that, by the order of their young princes, there would,
before another day had dawned, be something found to do for them
all.</p>
<p>“The cheer of gratitude which followed this
announcement, thrilled through the heart of those who had been
enabled to offer the boon, and so overpowered them, that, after a
liberal distribution of coin to the necessitous labourers, they
gladly hurried away.</p>
<p>“‘Now my task is ended,’ cried the Dervish,
as they retraced their steps to the palace on the hill.
‘My sons, you have seen the sacred sorrow which may attach
to the bitter complaint of having <i>Nothing to do</i>.
Henceforth seal your lips over the words, for, in all other cases
but this, they are, as you yourselves have said, a folly, a
mockery, and a lie.’</p>
<p>“It is scarcely necessary to add,” continued Aunt
Judy, “that the young princes returned to the palace in a
very different state of mind from that in which they left
it. They had now so many things to do in prospect, so much
to plan and inquire about, that when the night closed upon them,
they wondered how the day had gone, and grudged the necessary
hours of sleep. But on the morrow, just as they were
eagerly recommencing their left-off consultations, the Dervish
appeared among them, and suggested that their first duty still
remained unthought of.</p>
<p>“The incomparable sons were now really surprised, for
they had been flattering themselves they were most laudably
employed. But the Dervish reminded them, that, although
their duty to mankind in general was great, their duty to their
father in particular was yet greater, and that it behoved them to
set his mind at rest, by assuring him, that henceforth they would
not prevent him from smoking his pipe in peace, by restless
discontent, and disturbing messages and wants.</p>
<p>“To this the young princes readily agreed, and
thoroughly ashamed, on reflection, of the years of harass with
which they, in their thoughtless ingratitude, had worried poor
King Schelim, they repaired to his presence, and without entering
into unnecessary explanations, (which he would not have
understood,) assured him that they were perfectly happy, that
they had got plenty to do, as well as everything to enjoy, that
they were very sorry they had tormented him for so long a period
of his life, but that they begged to be forgiven, and would never
do so again!</p>
<p>“King Schelim was uncommonly pleased with what they
said, although he had to lay down his pipe for a few minutes to
receive their salutations, and give his in return; after which
they returned to their palace on the hill, and led thenceforward
useful, intelligent, and therefore happy lives, reforming
grievances, consoling sorrows, and taking particular care that
everybody had the opportunity of having <i>something to
do</i>.</p>
<p>“And as they never again disturbed their father King
Schelim, with foolish messages, he smoked his pipe in peace to
the end of his days.”</p>
<p>“Nice old Schelim!” observed No. 8, when Aunt
Judy’s pause showed that the story was done. A
conclusion which made the other little ones laugh; but now Aunt
Judy spoke again.</p>
<p>“You like the story, all of you?”</p>
<p>Could there be a doubt about it? No!
“Schelim, King of the Hills, and his four sons,” was
one of Aunt Judy’s very, very, very, best inventions.
But they had the happy knack of always thinking so of the last
they heard.</p>
<p>“And yet there is a flaw in it,” said Aunt
Judy.</p>
<p>“Aunt Judy!” exclaimed several voices at once, in
a tone of expostulation.</p>
<p>“Yes; I mean in the moral:” pursued she,
“there is no Christianity in the teaching, and therefore it
is not perfect, although it is all very good as far as it
goes.”</p>
<p>“But they were eastern people, and I suppose Mahometans
or Brahmins,” suggested No. 4.</p>
<p>“Exactly; and, therefore, I could not give them
Christian principles; and, therefore, although I have made my
four princes turn out very well, and do what was right, for the
rest of their lives (as I had a right to do); yet it is only
proper I should explain, that I do not believe any people can be
<i>depended upon</i> for doing right, except when they live upon
Christian principles, and are helped by the grace of God, to
fulfil His will, as revealed to us by His Son Jesus Christ.</p>
<p>“Certainly it is always more <i>reasonable</i> to do
right than wrong, even when the wrong may seem most pleasant at
the moment; because, as all people of sense know, doing right is
most for their own happiness, as well as for everybody
else’s, even in this world.</p>
<p>“But although the knowledge of this may influence us
when we are in a sober enough state of mind to think about it
calmly, the inducement is not a sufficiently strong one to be
relied upon as a safe-guard, when storms of passion and strong
temptations come upon us. In such cases it very often goes
for nothing, and then it is a perfect chance which way a person
acts.</p>
<p>“Even in the matter of doing good to others, we need the
Christian principle as our motive, or we may be often tempted to
give it up, or even to be as cruel at some moments, as we are
kind at others. It is very pleasant, no doubt, to do good,
and be charitable, when the feeling comes into the heart, but the
mere pleasure is apt to cease, if we find people thankless or
stupid, and that our labours seem to have been in vain. And
what a temptation there is, then, to turn away in disgust, unless
we are acting upon Christ’s commands, and can bear in mind,
that even when the pleasure ends, the duty remains.</p>
<p>“And now,” said Aunt Judy in conclusion, “a
kiss for the story-teller all round, if you please. She has
had an invitation, and is going from home to-morrow.”</p>
<p>“Oh, Aunt Judy!” ejaculated the little ones, in
not the most cheerful of tones.</p>
<p>“Well,” cried Aunt Judy, looking at them and
laughing, “you don’t mean to say that you will not
find <i>plenty to do</i>, and <i>plenty to enjoy</i> while I am
away? Come, I mean to write to you all by turns, and I
shall inquire in my letters whether you have remembered, <i>to
your edification</i>, the story of Schelim, King of the Hills,
and his four sons.”</p>
<h2>FOOTNOTES</h2>
<p><SPAN name="footnote47"></SPAN><SPAN href="#citation47" class="footnote">[47]</SPAN> “Weide,” pasture,
grass.</p>
<SPAN name="endofbook"></SPAN>
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