<h2>CHAPTER V</h2><h3>NO WINGS</h3>
<p>Whether anyone cried or not, there was certainly an interval during
which none of the party was quite itself. When they grew calmer, Anthea
put her handkerchief in her pocket and her arm round Jane, and said—</p>
<p>"It can't be for more than one night. We can signal with our
handkerchiefs in the morning. They'll be dry then. And someone will come
up and let us out"—</p>
<p>"And find the syphon," said Cyril gloomily; "and we shall be sent to
prison for stealing"—</p>
<p>"You said it wasn't stealing. You said you were sure it wasn't."</p>
<p>"I'm not sure <i>now</i>" said Cyril shortly.</p>
<p>"Let's throw the thing away among the trees," said Robert, "then no one
can do anything to us."</p>
<p>"Oh yes,"—Cyril's laugh was not a light-<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</SPAN></span>hearted one,—"and hit some
chap on the head, and be murderers as well as—as the other thing."</p>
<p>"But we can't stay up here all night," said Jane; "and I want my tea."</p>
<p>"You <i>can't</i> want your tea," said Robert; "you've only just had your
dinner."</p>
<p>"But I <i>do</i> want it," she said; "especially when you begin talking about
stopping up here all night. Oh, Panther—I want to go home! I want to go
home!"</p>
<p>"Hush, hush," Anthea said. "Don't, dear. It'll be all right, somehow.
Don't, don't"—</p>
<p>"Let her cry," said Robert desperately; "if she howls loud enough,
someone may hear and come and let us out."</p>
<p>"And see the soda-water thing," said Anthea swiftly. "Robert, don't be a
brute. Oh, Jane, do try to be a man! It's just the same for all of us."</p>
<p>Jane did try to "be a man"—and reduced her howls to sniffs.</p>
<p>There was a pause. Then Cyril said slowly, "Look here. We must risk that
syphon. I'll <span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</SPAN></span>button it up inside my jacket—perhaps no one will notice
it. You others keep well in front of me. There are lights in the
clergyman's house. They've not gone to bed yet. We must just yell as
loud as ever we can. Now all scream when I say three. Robert, you do the
yell like a railway engine, and I'll do the coo-ee like father's. The
girls can do as they please. One, two, three!"</p>
<p>A four-fold yell rent the silent peace of the evening, and a maid at one
of the Vicarage windows paused with her hand on the blind-cord.</p>
<p>"One, two, three!" Another yell, piercing and complex, startled the owls
and starlings to a flutter of feathers in the belfry below. The maid
flew from the Vicarage window and ran down the Vicarage stairs and into
the Vicarage kitchen, and fainted as soon as she had explained to the
man-servant and the cook and the cook's cousin that she had seen a
ghost. It was quite untrue, of course, but I suppose the girl's nerves
were a little upset by the yelling.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"One, two, three!" The Vicar was on his doorstep by this time, and there
was no mistaking the yell that greeted him.</p>
<p>"Goodness me," he said to his wife, "my dear, someone's being murdered
in the church! Give me my hat and a thick stick, and tell Andrew to come
after me. I expect it's the lunatic who stole the tongue."</p>
<p>The children had seen the flash of light when the Vicar opened his front
door. They had seen his dark form on his doorstep, and they had paused
for breath, and also to see what he would do.</p>
<p>When he turned back for his hat, Cyril said hastily—</p>
<p>"He thinks he only fancied he heard something. You don't half yell! Now!
One, two, three!"</p>
<p>It was certainly a whole yell this time, and the Vicar's wife flung her
arms round her husband and screamed a feeble echo of it.</p>
<p>"You shan't go!" she said, "not alone. Jessie!"—the maid unfainted and
came out of the kitchen,—"send Andrew at once. There's <span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</SPAN></span>a dangerous
lunatic in the church, and he must go immediately and catch him."</p>
<p>"I expect he <i>will</i> catch it too," said Jessie to herself as she went
through the kitchen door. "Here, Andrew," she said, "there's someone
screaming like mad in the church, and the missus says you're to go along
and catch it."</p>
<p>"Not alone, I don't," said Andrew in low firm tones. To his master he
merely said, "Yis sir."</p>
<p>"You heard those screams?"</p>
<p>"I did think I noticed a sort of something," said Andrew.</p>
<p>"Well, come on, then," said the Vicar. "My dear, I <i>must</i> go!" He pushed
her gently into the sitting-room, banged the door, and rushed out,
dragging Andrew by the arm.</p>
<p>A volley of yells greeted them. Then as it died into silence Andrew
shouted, "Hullo, you there! Did you call?"</p>
<p>"Yes," shouted four far-away voices.</p>
<p>"They seem to be in the air," said the Vicar. "Very remarkable."</p>
<p>"Where are you?" shouted Andrew; and<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</SPAN></span> Cyril replied in his deepest
voice, very slow and loud—</p>
<p>"CHURCH! TOWER! TOP!"</p>
<p>"Come down, then!" said Andrew; and the same voice replied—</p>
<p>"<i>Can't! Door locked!</i>"</p>
<p>"My goodness!" said the Vicar. "Andrew, fetch the stable lantern.
Perhaps it would be as well to fetch another man from the village."</p>
<p>"With the rest of the gang about, very likely. No, sir; if this 'ere
ain't a trap—well, may I never! There's cook's cousin at the back door
now. He's a keeper, sir, and used to dealing with vicious characters.
And he's got his gun, sir."</p>
<p>"Hullo there!" shouted Cyril from the church-tower; "come up and let us
out."</p>
<p>"We're a-coming," said Andrew. "I'm a-going to get a policeman and a
gun."</p>
<p>"Andrew, Andrew," said the Vicar, "that's not the truth."</p>
<p>"It's near enough, sir, for the likes of them."</p>
<p>So Andrew fetched the lantern and the cook's <span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</SPAN></span>cousin; and the Vicar's
wife begged them all to be very careful.</p>
<p>They went across the churchyard—it was quite dark now—and as they went
they talked. The Vicar was certain a lunatic was on the
church-tower—the one who had written the mad letter, and taken the cold
tongue and things. Andrew thought it was a "trap"; the cook's cousin
alone was calm. "Great cry, little wool," said he; "dangerous chaps is
quieter." He was not at all afraid. But then he had a gun. That was why
he was asked to lead the way up the worn, steep, dark steps of the
church-tower. He did lead the way, with the lantern in one hand and the
gun in the other. Andrew went next. He pretended afterwards that this
was because he was braver than his master, but really it was because he
thought of traps and he did not like the idea of being behind the others
for fear someone should come softly up behind him and catch hold of his
legs in the dark. They went on and on, and round and round the little
corkscrew staircase—then through the bell-<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</SPAN></span>ringers' loft, where the
bell-ropes hung with soft furry ends like giant caterpillars—then up
another stair into the belfry, where the big quiet bells are—and then
on up a ladder with broad steps—and then up a little stone stair. And
at the top of that there was a little door. And the door was bolted on
the stair side.</p>
<p>The cook's cousin, who was a gamekeeper, kicked at the door, and said—</p>
<p>"Hullo, you there!"</p>
<p>The children were holding on to each other on the other side of the
door, and trembling with anxiousness—and very hoarse with their howls.
They could hardly speak, but Cyril managed to reply huskily—</p>
<p>"Hullo, you there!"</p>
<p>"How did you get up there?"</p>
<p>It was no use saying "We flew up," so Cyril said—</p>
<p>"We got up—and then we found the door was locked and we couldn't get
down. Let us out—do."</p>
<p>"How many of you are there?" asked the keeper.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"Only four," said Cyril.</p>
<p>"Are you armed?"</p>
<p>"Are we what?"</p>
<p>"I've got my gun handy—so you'd best not try any tricks," said the
keeper. "If we open the door, will you promise to come quietly down, and
no nonsense?"</p>
<p>"Yes—oh YES!" said all the children together.</p>
<p>"Bless me," said the Vicar, "surely that was a female voice?"</p>
<p>"Shall I open the door, sir?" said the keeper. Andrew went down a few
steps, "to leave room for the others" he said afterwards.</p>
<p>"Yes," said the Vicar, "open the door. Remember," he said through the
keyhole, "we have come to release you. You will keep your promise to
refrain from violence?"</p>
<p>"How this bolt do stick," said the keeper; "anyone 'ud think it hadn't
been drawed for half a year." As a matter of fact it hadn't.</p>
<p>When all the bolts were drawn, the keeper spoke deep-chested words
through the keyhole.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</SPAN></span></p>
<div class="figcenter"><SPAN name="keeper" id="keeper"></SPAN> <ANTIMG src="images/24.png" width-obs="376" height-obs="394" alt="The keeper spoke deep-chested words through the keyhole" title="The keeper spoke deep-chested words through the keyhole" /> <span class="caption">The keeper spoke deep-chested words through the keyhole</span></div>
<p>"I don't open," said he, "till you've gone over to the other side of the
tower. And if one of you comes at me I fire. Now!"</p>
<p>"We're all over on the other side," said the voices.</p>
<p>The keeper felt pleased with himself, and owned himself a bold man when
he threw open that door, and, stepping out into the leads, flashed the
full light of the stable lantern on the group of desperadoes standing
against the parapet on the other side of the tower.</p>
<p>He lowered his gun, and he nearly dropped the lantern.</p>
<p>"So help me," he cried, "if they ain't a pack of kiddies!"</p>
<p>The Vicar now advanced.</p>
<p>"How did you come here?" he asked severely. "Tell me at once."</p>
<p>"Oh, take us down," said Jane, catching at his coat, "and we'll tell you
anything you like. You won't believe us, but it doesn't matter. Oh, take
us down!"</p>
<p>The others crowded round him, with the <span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</SPAN></span>same entreaty. All but Cyril.
He had enough to do with the soda-water syphon, which would keep
slipping down under his jacket. It needed both hands to keep it steady
in its place.</p>
<p>But he said, standing as far out of the lantern light as possible—</p>
<p>"Please do take us down."</p>
<p>So they were taken down. It is no joke to go down a strange church-tower
in the dark, but the keeper helped them—only, Cyril had to be
independent because of the soda-water syphon. It would keep trying to
get away. Half-way down the ladder it all but escaped. Cyril just caught
it by its spout, and as nearly as possible lost his footing. He was
trembling and pale when at last they reached the bottom of the winding
stair and stepped out on to the stones of the church-porch.</p>
<p>Then suddenly the keeper caught Cyril and Robert each by an arm.</p>
<p>"You bring along the gells, sir," said he; "you and Andrew can manage
them."</p>
<p>"Let go!" said Cyril; "we aren't running <span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</SPAN></span>away. We haven't hurt your old
church. Leave go!"</p>
<p>"You just come along," said the keeper; and Cyril dared not oppose him
with violence, because just then the syphon began to slip again.</p>
<p>So they were marched into the Vicarage study, and the Vicar's wife came
rushing in.</p>
<p>"Oh, William, <i>are</i> you safe?" she cried.</p>
<p>Robert hastened to allay her anxiety.</p>
<p>"Yes," he said, "he's quite safe. We haven't hurt them at all. And
please, we're very late, and they'll be anxious at home. Could you send
us home in your carriage?"</p>
<p>"Or perhaps there's a hotel near where we could get a carriage," said
Anthea. "Martha will be very anxious as it is."</p>
<p>The Vicar had sunk into a chair, overcome by emotion and amazement.</p>
<p>Cyril had also sat down, and was leaning forward with his elbows on his
knees because of the soda-water syphon.</p>
<p>"But how did you come to be locked up in the church-tower?" asked the
Vicar.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"We went up," said Robert slowly, "and we were tired, and we all went to
sleep, and when we woke up we found the door was locked, so we yelled."</p>
<p>"I should think you did!" said the Vicar's wife. "Frightening everybody
out of their wits like this! You ought to be ashamed of yourselves."</p>
<p>"We <i>are</i>," said Jane gently.</p>
<p>"But who locked the door?" asked the Vicar.</p>
<p>"I don't know at all," said Robert, with perfect truth. "Do please send
us home."</p>
<p>"Well, really," said the Vicar, "I suppose we'd better. Andrew, put the
horse to, and you can take them home."</p>
<p>"Not alone, I don't," said Andrew to himself.</p>
<p>And the Vicar went on, "let this be a lesson to you"—— He went on
talking, and the children listened miserably. But the keeper was not
listening. He was looking at the unfortunate Cyril. He knew all about
poachers, of course, so he knew how people look when they're hiding
something. The Vicar <span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</SPAN></span>had just got to the part about trying to grow up
to be a blessing to your parents, and not a trouble and disgrace, when
the keeper suddenly said—</p>
<p>"Arst him what he's got there under his jacket;" and Cyril knew that
concealment was at an end. So he stood up, and squared his shoulders and
tried to look noble, like the boys in books that no one can look in the
face of and doubt that they come of brave and noble families, and will
be faithful to the death, and he pulled out the syphon and said—</p>
<p>"Well, there you are, then."</p>
<p>There was silence. Cyril went on—there was nothing else for it—</p>
<p>"Yes, we took this out of your larder, and some chicken and tongue and
bread. We were very hungry, and we didn't take the custard or jam. We
only took bread and meat and water,—and we couldn't help its being soda
kind,—just the necessaries of life; and we left half-a-crown to pay for
it, and we left a letter. And we're very sorry. And my father will pay a
fine and anything you like, <span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</SPAN></span>but don't send us to prison. Mother would
be so vexed. You know what you said about not being a disgrace. Well,
don't you go and do it to us—that's all! We're as sorry as we can be.
There!"</p>
<p>"However did you get up to the larder window?" said Mrs. Vicar.</p>
<p>"I can't tell you that," said Cyril firmly.</p>
<p>"Is this the whole truth you've been telling me?" asked the clergyman.</p>
<p>"No," answered Jane suddenly; "it's all true, but it's not the whole
truth. We can't tell you that. It's no good asking. Oh, do forgive us
and take us home!" She ran to the Vicar's wife and threw her arms round
her. The Vicar's wife put her arms round Jane, and the keeper whispered
behind his hand to the Vicar—</p>
<p>"They're all right, sir—I expect it's a pal they're standing by.
Someone put 'em up to it, and they won't peach. Game little kids."</p>
<p>"Tell me," said the Vicar kindly, "are you screening someone else? Had
anyone else anything to do with this?"<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"Yes," said Anthea, thinking of the Psammead; "but it wasn't their
fault."</p>
<p>"Very well, my dears," said the Vicar, "then let's say no more about it.
Only just tell us why you wrote such an odd letter."</p>
<p>"I don't know," said Cyril. "You see, Anthea wrote it in such a hurry,
and it really didn't seem like stealing then. But afterwards, when we
found we couldn't get down off the church-tower, it seemed just exactly
like it. We are all very sorry"—</p>
<p>"Say no more about it," said the Vicar's wife; "but another time just
think before you take other people's tongues. Now—some cake and milk
before you go home?"</p>
<p>When Andrew came to say that the horse was put to, and was he expected
to be led alone into the trap that he had plainly seen from the first,
he found the children eating cake and drinking milk and laughing at the
Vicar's jokes. Jane was sitting on the Vicar's wife's lap.</p>
<p>So you see they got off better than they deserved.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>The gamekeeper, who was the cook's cousin, asked leave to drive home
with them, and Andrew was only too glad to have someone to protect him
from that trap he was so certain of.</p>
<p>When the wagonette reached their own house, between the chalk-quarry and
the gravel-pit, the children were very sleepy, but they felt that they
and the keeper were friends for life.</p>
<p>Andrew dumped the children down at the iron gate without a word.</p>
<p>"You get along home," said the Vicarage cook's cousin, who was a
gamekeeper. "I'll get me home on shanks' mare."</p>
<p>So Andrew had to drive off alone, which he did not like at all, and it
was the keeper that was cousin to the Vicarage cook who went with the
children to the door, and, when they had been swept to bed in a
whirlwind of reproaches, remained to explain to Martha and the cook and
the housemaid exactly what had happened. He explained so well that
Martha was quite amicable the next morning.</p>
<p>After that he often used to come over and see<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</SPAN></span> Martha, and in the
end—but that is another story, as dear Mr. Kipling says.</p>
<p>Martha was obliged to stick to what she had said the night before about
keeping the children indoors the next day for a punishment. But she
wasn't at all ugly about it, and agreed to let Robert go out for half an
hour to get something he particularly wanted.</p>
<p>This, of course, was the day's wish.</p>
<p>Robert rushed to the gravel-pit, found the Psammead, and presently
wished for—</p>
<p>But that, too, is another story.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</SPAN></span></p>
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